A Living Ghost
by brilliantbritooobsessed
Summary: What happened to Felicity before AGATB? The story follows Felicity through her childhood and most likely will also cover some of the books as well. I'm not sure how far I will take this, but please read anyway. Rated T for mature content.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this story (except for maybe a few that I add to enhance the overall quality). I am not Libba Bray;nor, do I proclaim to be.

**Thank you everyone that has chosen to read this. I am a very busy person and want to continue writing as much as possible. I hope you like this story. I feel like Felicity has a story all her own that should be told. I promise in later chapters there will be explanations of Pippa and Felicity's romance as well as the Simon situation. I hope you enjoy. Also, reviews would be greatly appreciated.**

Felicity Worthington was not a typical child. She was born with some stark stubborn quality that leaked from her pores even as an infant. Her parents, not knowing how to control such a lively child, did what any wealthy British family was expected. Mr. Mrs. Worthington handed her over to the care of a governess.

Felicity grew up as many children do. She laughed and played. By the age of four she had developed into quite an intriguing creature. Mr. Worthington took pride in his small daughter; he often brought her out at balls and dinners to show her to his friends. She was too young to know it, but she had an extensive repertoire of allies in the high classes of Victorian England.

Like most upper class children, she was lonely. Mr. Worthington, her only friend in the house, was away on business most days of the year. Her mother, a fickle woman, was never actually there even when she was physically present. The parenting that Felicity received from her mother came in the form of reproach and remind. There was no love. In its place was a constant reminder of the obligations of being a part of the elite.

What the Worthington adults failed to realize about their ever-increasingly cunning child was her ability to manipulate. Felicity knew how to get what she wanted from the time she could smile. Something about her pale blue eyes and crimson lips caused even the hardest of hearts to crumble at her will. She tasted power at her own hands and sensation never really dissipated.

Felicity never really understood her overwhelming loneliness until she met a boy named Simon Middleton. He was two years her senior and a child that was destined to have both good looks and fortunes. He was Felicity's first infatuation—her first taste of desire. But like most people in Felicity's life, he was never able to live up to her ideal.

Felicity was outside playing in the garden the day she met Simon. Like most little girls, she was lost in a world where princesses are kidnapped from pirates only to be saved by a handsome prince. She was on her back in the grass peering at the clouds when a shadow obstructed her view. With a slight sigh she sat up and looked at her intruder.

From the ground Simon appeared to be a much older boy. At first she gasped because she thought she was peering at the legs of a young man. But when he spoke, she knew he was only a child like her. Adults were more polite.

"What are you doing on the ground?" he asked with the type of grin that most little boys have.

Felicity had never spoken to a boy before. She was only caught off guard for a second though. "What are you doing in my garden?" she responded with the same mischievous grin.

"I believe this garden belongs to your father."

She was beat. He ran her into a corner in barely any time at all. This was a new kind of challenge. Felicity lifted herself from the ground and stood up as tall as she could. He was a few inches taller, but she was not afraid. "Who are you?" she seethed as she stared into his dark blue eyes. She held her gaze until finally Simon looked away. She always could last longer at that game.

"My name is Simon Middleton. And you are Felicity Worthington, daughter of the Admiral." Felicity did not know how to respond to this. He knew her. She did not know him. She could only remember hearing his last name once in passing. Why was he here? "My mother is having tea with yours. They thought it would be beneficial for us to meet."

Beneficial? It was a word Felicity had yet to learn. She chewed on this idea for a minute before responding. "How old are you?"

"Eight. I will be starting school in two years," he gloated with a twinkle in his eyes. "How old are you?"

"Six," Felicity responded with a hint of defeat. She saw Simon as eternally better than her because he was older. The way he nodded approved her suspicion. She was going to find a way to beat him even if it took all day.

"I'll race you to that tree!" she challenged suddenly as the thought burst into her mind. Her finger pointed off in the distance, but Simon did not even look. He continued to stare at her as he responded. "You can't beat me."

"I can," Felicity confronted. "And I will."

Simon's childish giggle embarrassed Felicity. Instead of getting angry, she did what any ashamed girl would do. She lifted her foot and kicked his shin as hard as she could. "Ow! What was that for?"

"Don't laugh at me," Felicity warned with an intensity that caused Simon to take a few steps back. "Now are you going to race me or are you scared?"

"I'm not scared of a girl."

Felicity couldn't help but wonder for a second why it always seemed that boys and men were better. They always thought they were faster, stronger, and smarter. Why? "I'm not scared of anything," Felicity retorted with full honesty.

"Neither am I," Simon answered as he stood a little taller. "I'm a man."

Felicity rolled her eyes and readied herself for the run. Simon followed her lead. Soon they were both running as fast as they could at the gaping tree. Simon took the lead easily, but Felicity caught up when Simon made the mistake of looking back. Felicity's small body came barreling into the tree a fraction of a second before Simon's. "It was a tie!" Simon shouted. "Rematch?"

"I'm better than you," Felicity answered in between breaths. "You lost." There was no hiding the excitement on her face. She already was beginning to like Simon. He was a match for her in ways all her nannies and governesses were not. He made her want to win. She was intrigued.

The pair raced a few more times, but Felicity won every time. Simon, out of anger, finally sulked off to his mother. Mrs. Middleton gave into the wishes of her whiny son and left the Worthington home early.

Felicity's glee was shattered when her mother came outside and reprimanded her for her behavior. That was the first time Felicity learned that beating a boy was wrong. She didn't understand it so she lied. She promised her mother she would let Simon win next time, but that was not an option for Felicity. She would win every time forever.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Once again, I don't own anything.

**Thank you for continuing with the story. I hope you are enjoying it so far. Please review if you had any opinion of it whatsoever.**

Simon Middleton visited Felicity many more times in the course of the next two years. At first their friendship was based solely on rivalry. But eventually the pair began to talk. Felicity told Simon about her secret hiding places and blackmail on the governesses. Simon discussed his desire to start school. They truly became friends and Felicity was growing attached.

Those were the happiest two years of her life. She was full of excitement and a generally pleasant child. She learned quickly and was thought of to be the perfect child. The Admiral and Mrs. Worthington began to flaunt her everywhere they went. She was the jewel of London. Her name was known all over the country. Felicity was the epitome of innocence and child-like naiveté. That is until the event happened.

It was not a special night for any reason other than what events occurred. Mr. Worthington had been home for the past few days and was full of promises to stay for at least a month. The house was alive with excitement, as it always was when the Admiral was home. Felicity was just hoping for some attention from her father. She loved him. She had no doubt that he loved her.

Felicity was sent off to bed at the usual early hour at which she went to bed most nights. Instead of allowing her current governess, Miss. Thomas, to say goodnight, Mr. Worthington asked to do the honors. No one knew what he had in mind. They allowed him without a parcel of doubt.

Mr. Worthington closed the door as Felicity's small figure climbed under her sheets. The room was pitch black except for the light coming in from the moon. Felicity stared at her father's pale face as his large feet carried him closer. Something inside her stomach clenched instinctively. She had never been alone in a room with a man. What was she thinking? This was her father. She tried to convince herself that nothing was wrong.

Mr. Worthington took a seat on the edge of her bed. Immediately his hand reached for her forehead. "You are a beautiful child," he whispered. "You know that, right?"

Felicity had never really considered her beauty. She knew only that she looked like her father. People were always commenting on her eyes and hair because they were perfect replicas of the Admiral's. She nodded as a response because he was waiting. His large hand was musty on her forehead.

"I'm proud of you," the Admiral added. His hand slid lightly down her cheek and stopped under her chin. "Will you give your father a kiss?"

Felicity was unsure of what to do. She had kissed her father many times before, but always in the presence of others. Something in her stomach was tightening and she was scared for the first time in her life. "Please, Felicity. I love you so much. I would never hurt you."

Although the tone is his voice caused Felicity to squirm, she sat up and kissed her father chastely on the lips. Before she could lie back down, he gripped the back of her head and pulled his lips back onto hers. She squeeled into his mouth, but could not break free. The admiral forced her lips open with his own and shoved his tongue against her small teeth.

Felicity struggled against his thick body, but failed. He was bigger and stronger. He finally broke away and stared at her with no fear. "That is a real kiss, my Dear," he sighed. With tears in her eyes, Felicity flung herself under the covers. She felt dirty and scared. But most of all she was confused. "I can show you a lot of things," Mr. Worthington promised with his strong fingertips sliding up and down Felicity's rigid back.

"I'm tired," Felicity whispered in an attempt to get him away.

"I know how to keep you awake. Come out here and look at me, child." Seeing no way to escape, Felicity did as she was told. "Don't cry, darling," he whispered. His thumbs reached across and wiped the tears off leaving a sting behind. "I want to show you how much I love you."

Felicity tried to turn her face away when he leaned forward again. This time the Admiral pushed Felicity onto her back and used his size to hold her down. He kissed her lips and then traveled down to her neck and chest. She resisted his kisses, but was too weak to really stop him. When she tried to scream, he covered her mouth.

It went on like this until he was done. He had forced his way into her both psychically and mentally. After that night Felicity was never really the same. She had a new fierce determinism about her. She was angry and impulsive in ways that baffled her family. The Admiral pretended as if nothing happened for the following two days. After that, he returned to sea early. Felicity was left alone, but she was still haunted.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Gosh I wish I was Libba Bray, but I am not.

**If you are still reading, I love you :)**

"What do you want, Simon?" Felicity asked with not even a look in the confused boy's direction. It was the first time Felicity had seen Simon since the night with her father. She was a little embarrassed by her obvious anger toward Simon, but did nothing to stop it. She saw him as a failure. He was supposed to protect her, but he failed as a friend.

"Did I do something wrong?" Simon replied in a tone he had never used around Felicity. She peered away from the grass that she was picking at and glanced at him. His frown and pleading eyes were enough to convince her to at least give him an explanation.

"I don't want to play today," she mumbled.

"Your wish is my command," Simon responded as he sat down next to her in the grass. "We will pick at the grass and stare gloomily off into space instead." Felicity smiled a little at his kindness. "There is that smile," he added. "I love that smile."

"No you don't."

"Pardon?"

"You don't love me," Felicity sighed. "I am unlovable." Simon scrunched his eyebrows together and tried to process what Felicity could possibly mean. He took her hand in his own and squeezed it gently.

"I do love you, Felicity Worthington. And one day, I will marry you," he finally whispered into her ear. Felicity turned her head toward the sound causing their faces to be very close—closer than they had ever been. Simon took a deep breath and leaned clumsily into a chaste kiss. His lips were too shy to stay on hers for longer than a second. As soon as he had done it, he scooted a few feet back.

Felicity stared at him for a second and then her eyes welled up with tears. She didn't want to be kissed—not by anyone. She wondered why all of a sudden everyone was kissing her all the time.

Simon gazed at the clear tears sliding down her still chubby, childish cheeks. He did not know what to say. He didn't understand why the kiss was so bad. "Why did you do that?" Felicity barked as she stood.

"I…I wanted to," Simon replied just as confused.

"Go home, Simon," Felicity demanded suddenly. She turned her back to him and waited to hear him move off the ground. She listened as his body stood, but it did not move from there. When she turned back around, Simon was gawking at her with some anger in his eyes.

"I kissed you because I will not see you again for quite some time," he said coldly. "I leave for school in three days."

The blonde child stared at her suitor with an expression of pure hatred in her eyes. He was leaving her. He was going away just like her father always did. Her father did love her. She knew Simon loved her too. But she couldn't understand why the people that loved her were always leaving. "Are you coming back?" she asked as the anger began to reside. In its place was an overwhelming sense of loss.

"I believe I will see you over the Christmas season," he answered as he stepped closer. "Will you still have me as your husband when I return?"

Felicity thought about this hard. If he loved her and wanted to return to her, then she was going to permit it. "Yes."

"Can I kiss you goodbye?"

"No," Felicity stated without even a glimmer of doubt. Simon understood and bowed before her like a true gentlemen.

"I will see you at Christmas then," he said before turning and walking into the house. Felicity sat back on the grass and cried some more.

**_Reviews_Please_**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I would be a very happy person if I had created these characters. But, I didn't.

**So here is chapter 4. I will update as soon as possible. Thank you for the reviews. It gave me inspiration to squeeze some writing into my busy schedule.**

The fall season dragged for Felicity. Without Simon around there was rarely anything to do at home. Mrs. Worthington would sometimes invite women with daughters around Felicity's age over for tea, but Felicity always found them rather dull. She was terrible lonely and, as a result, she spent most of her time tormenting her governesses for sport.

Mr. Worthington returned home for the Christmas season in December. Much to Felicity's dismay he came into her room the first night he was home. Unlike the first time, this time he convinced the small child that it was her fault this had to happen. The next morning Felicity slid quietly into her mother's bed chambers.

Mrs. Worthington was perched at her vanity brushing her long locks. "Why are you here?" she asked her daughter without a hint of interest.

"I need to tell you something," Felicity quivered to her mother. She had to force her eyes closed to keep the tears she so desperately wanted to cry from escaping. Mrs. Worthington saw only a ghost of a child in the reflection of what used to be a happy child. She couldn't avoid the hollow look in her daughter's icy eyes.

"Come here. Sit at my feet. Tell me what is wrong. Do you miss Simon?"

Felicity fell to the floor at her mother's feet, but did not answer the questions. Rather, she sobbed into the elaborate skirts that covered a pair of pale legs modestly. Felicity always felt that her mother's legs were the only part she truly had access to because Mrs. Worthington rarely held her child. "Stop crying and tell me what is wrong."

With a few hearty sniffles, Felicity found the courage to look up at her mother. She took a deep, hesitant breath and began to talk. She told her mother exactly what had happened to her. Even at eight years old Felicity was much stronger than most people. She did not flinch as she told her stories. She was brave because instinctively she knew that her mother would need her to be.

When Felicity had finished, Mrs. Worthington shuffled uneasily in her chair. Although Felicity would never know exactly how much this news hurt her mother, Mrs. Worthington's heart did break. But Mrs. Worthington was a woman married to a respected Admiral. She had no choice but to encourage her daughter to be helpful. She had no way to help.

Mrs. Worthington patted Felicity's blonde hair softly. "I'm sorry this happened to you," she began with no hint of falsehood in her voice. "But sometimes men do these things. You will understand when you are older."

Felicity stared up at her mother wondering if that was all. She could not understand why her mother was so calm and unconcerned. She felt truly angry for the first time in her life. Silently, in her head, Felicity vowed to never trust her mother again. But that wasn't all. Felicity made the choice that day to protect herself.

What Felicity would never learn was that Mrs. Worthington did confront Mr. Worthington about his advances. Felicity only knew that her mother refused to leave her bedroom for the whole Christmas season. She never learned that her father had beaten Mrs. Worthington for her accusations. All Felicity knew was that she did not get to see Simon that year.

Four days after all the Christmas festivities Mrs. Worthington announced that she and Felicity would be traveling to France to live for a short time. The Admiral was gone already, but he had left behind enough money for his wife and daughter to make this trip. Felicity tried to revel in the exciting news, but she was bitter and cold. She wondered if she would ever feel warm again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I did not write the series that this story is based off of. If I had, Kartik would be tied to my bed and Felicity would be my best friend.

**So I promise things are going to get more exciting soon. I encourage everyone to continue reading because I am working very hard. I have big things planned for the future. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I will post more as soon as I can.**

Felicity had no trouble finding a place in French society. She picked up the language quickly as if she was born for the sole purpose of living in Paris. More surprising to Mrs. Worthington though was Felicity's insistence on helping out around the salon they had purchased with the money the Admiral had given. Together the pair refurbished an old building and made it into a beautiful haven for women wanting to discuss something more than tea and painting.

Although Mrs. Worthington didn't approve much of Felicity's constant presence in the back of the room, she allowed her daughter the simple pleasure of being present for the conversations. As a result, Felicity was incredibly well-versed in the workings of the world. She could hold a conversation with an adult about the British involvement overseas. She knew about the American Knights of Labor and their fight for better labor condition. She even could discuss current political issues in both London and Paris.

Felicity was clever and very bright. She learned quickly how to win an argument. Her new knowledge was kept mostly to herself because the adults would not listen to her if she tried to state her opinion. But like a sponge, Felicity absorbed it all and waited. She knew one day all the listening would pay off. She understood that knowledge was power.

On the few occasions Felicity and her mother returned to London for holiday seasons, Mr. Worthington made his presence abundantly clear. But Felicity was no longer the same naïve child; she was becoming something her parents could not understand. Her tongue was sharp as knives and her temper always calm. Mr. Worthington continued to take advantage of her, but no longer could find satisfaction in hurting her. She did not cry. She didn't even look interested. He was baffled by her serenity.

She saw Simon a few times during those same visits home, but the gap between them was growing evermore. Simon did not like that Felicity was learning more than him. School had taken away some of his boyish impulses. He no longer looked at Felicity as a girl to be courted. Rather, he saw her as a little sister type that peeved him regularly. Felicity, on the other hand, thought Simon was becoming much too self-enthralled to be of any use to her.

When Mrs. Worthington found another man in Paris, word traveled to London as fast as the Black Plague. Suddenly the Worthington family was the talk of the town. Felicity, being far from all the commotion, did not realize that her mother was slowly dissolving the reputation they both had. By the time Felicity returned at ten years old, she had a red S on forehead because she was the daughter of an adulteress. She found that the only way she could regain some semblance of respect was by associating with her father. She officially broke any ties to her mother that may have been left.

Simon was no longer permitted to see Felicity because Lady Denby looked down on Mrs. Worthington. Felicity did not forget about him in the years that they were separate, but she didn't dwell on him either. She was constantly becoming more and more independent. When it was time for her to start school at Spence Academy for Young Ladies she was fully self-sufficient. And in the fall of 1888, Felicity made the voyage to the school that would forever change her life.

**If you liked it, go ahead and tell me. If you didn't like it, I want to know that too.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I didn't write the series. But I did write this.

Felicity entered the tall double doors of Spence Academy with one hand holding her suitcase and the other directing a large woman with a thick Irish accent into the building with the rest of her luggage. Brigid introduced herself and asked Felicity to set her luggage against the wall on the far side of the parlor. Felicity did as she told and waited for further instruction.

Her luggage wasn't the first there. She noticed immediately that some of her classmates must have arrived early. Brigid, when she had finished making more space for other luggage, led Felicity through another set of large doors into a huge sitting room. Felicity took a moment to take in her surroundings before channeling her gaze on her new classmates.

Her eyes started with the small girl on the left, but immediately jumped to the girl furthest to the right. She was like nothing Felicity had ever seen. Felicity felt her breath catch in her mouth and waited for the moment to pass. She found herself hoping that this beautiful girl would be her closest friend.

Though the moment felt like it lasted a lifetime, it had only been a few short seconds before Felicity regained her composure. She stood a little taller and approached the girls in front of her. They all smiled awkwardly and mumbled small greetings. Felicity, in contrast, spoke loud and clear. She was not shy. She was definitely not scared of these girls.

The doors opened again and Brigid entered with one more child. Behind Brigid was a woman with a pile of hair on top of her head. Felicity knew that this lady was Mrs. Nightwing, the headmaster at Spence, because of her interesting appearance that Mrs. Worthington had commented on weeks prior.

Mrs. Nightwing approached the girls with the frigidity of an old maid. "Good morning, Ladies. I am Mrs. Nightwing," she began. "Welcome to the Spence Academy for Young Ladies. Our motto here is Grace, Charm, and Beauty. By the time you are done here, you will posses these qualities. We look forward to fostering your growth into Britain's future women."

Felicity rolled her eyes and peered over to the beautiful girl with dark ringlets. The girl stared ahead as if totally enthralled with Mrs. Nightwing's speech. Felicity looked back to her new headmaster and waited for whatever was to come.

"I understand you are all here. Thank you for arriving on time. Promptness is the first sign of a true lady. I am going to call out your names. When I do, I ask that you step forward so I can put a face to the name."

Felicity stood up a little taller and waited patiently. This was her chance to figure out who her classmates were and where they fit in the hierarchy of power in the British world. "Miss. Ann Bradshaw," Mrs. Nightwing called first. The chubby, plain child that had arrived last stepped forward. By her clothes Felicity made the correct assumption that she was a scholarship student. "Thank you, Miss Bradshaw. We are pleased to have you here on scholarship."

Ann took a small step back with her eyes on the floor as the girls around her chuckled. Felicity did not laugh, but she did not stand up for her either. Felicity knew that some people had to be lower class for those in the upper class to truly appreciate it. "Miss. Pippa Cross," Mrs. Nightwing called out next.

Felicity watched as the beautiful girl stepped out of the line. Her name didn't sound familiar to Felicity, but she knew that the child's parents must have had enough money based on her attire. A girl named Martha was next. Elizabeth followed. The pale girl with a pinched face was called next. Felicity noticed immediately that this girl, Cicely, was older and from a family that was very wealthy. Although Felicity didn't particularly like her on first impression, she knew that power meant having alliances in the right places.

Finally Mrs. Nightwing called Felicity. When Felicity's last name was announced the room went silent. Everyone stared at Felicity with adoration dripping out of their pores. "It is a great pleasure to have the Admiral's daughter with us," Mrs. Nightwing complimented. Felicity nodded and smiled one of her most charming grins.

"Thank you, Ladies," Mrs. Nightwing said after a moment of silent adoration at Felicity as well. "I need you all to go pick rooms. Brigid will lead you to your wing and tell you which rooms to choose from. Everyone will be in pairs except Miss. Bradshaw and Miss. Temple. Please be civil when choosing. You are free to spend your afternoon as you please before dinner. You're dismissed."

The five girls followed Brigid back to their luggage before carrying it up the many stairs to their wing. All the rooms were cluttered close together by class. Cicely's room was a single that her family had paid extra for. Martha and Elizabeth both cluttered over to Felicity as soon as they were outside the bedroom doors. Felicity politely excused herself from their presence and walked over to Pippa.

"How do you do?" Felicity asked with a heartfelt smile for the most beautiful girl in the room. Up close Felicity noticed the violet shade of Pippa's eyes and the way they contrasted so beautifully with her pale skin and dark hair. For a second Felicity lost her train of thought. "Would you like to share a bedroom with me?"

"It would be my honor, Miss. Worthington," Pippa replied politely.

"Please, call me Felicity. Is this room fitting?" Felicity pointed to the one they were standing directly in front of.

"Absolutely," Pippa answered before adding shyly, "Felicity."

Felicity liked the way her name sounded coming out of Pippa's mouth. Somehow it sounded like a lullaby—like a safe place for her to hide. The two walked slowly into their room. Felicity immediately dropped her luggage on the bed further from the window. She wanted to give Pippa the better spot because she was the more beautiful.

The pair unpacked in silence because neither could find anything to say. Felicity was done first even though she had more clothes. She sat on the edge of her bed and watched Pippa move back and forth from her suitcase to the wardrobe. Felicity could tell that Pippa was used to being watched. She never diverged from the perfect polite way of a woman once. It was like watching a woman in a child's body.

Finally Pippa finished and took a seat on the edge of her bed too. Felicity gazed into Pippa's violet eyes and waited. She knew that a person always talks eventually. "So what is it like being the Admiral's daughter?" Pippa finally asked.

Felicity responded with sarcasm, "Oh, it's the best!" Pippa seemed confused. She crinkled her forehead the tinniest bit and waited for further explanation. "It is exactly as you would assume it to be," Felicity continued. "My name is known everywhere. He is well-respected. I am well-liked because of who he is."

"Did he drop you off today?"

"No," Felicity responded with a frown. "My father rarely troubles himself with such trivialities."

"At least you didn't have to listen to my father the whole ride here," Pippa encouraged. She was loosening up to Felicity's intensity. "He lectured me the whole way about our good family name and how I was expected to keep it intact. Honestly, I don't know what he thinks I could possibly do at a school for girls."

Felicity chuckled a little and allowed herself to relax as well. "I'm sure we could think of something."

"You strike me as someone who enjoys breaking the rules," Pippa mused.

"You strike me as someone who is dying to break the rules, but is much too frightened."

Pippa sighed and leaned back on her bed. "My family already wishes I were better. The last thing I need to do is go and shame their name."

"Well my family doesn't seem to realize how easily I could destroy their good name if I wanted to."

"Do you want to?" Pippa asked, sitting back up.

"Terribly."

"You're awful!" Pippa squealed. Felicity smiled knew from that moment that they were going to be the closest of friends. She was already growing attached to this small, beautiful girl with violet eyes.

**Please Please Please Review**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** Must I say it again?

**Ok, so I realize this isn't my best chapter by any means. I promise things will get better. I've been really sick this week and I was pretty loopy off pain meds when I wrote this. More to come as soon as I can. **

Felicity's second day at Spence was the day that ensured her place of leadership at the school for the rest of her time there. She woke up to chatter coming from every corner. As more and more older students arrived at the school, more girls discussed her father. By midday everyone in the school knew who she was.

An older girl, by the name of Minnie, took particular interest in Felicity. She was two classes older and pretty much known as the leader of all the girls around school due to her general ability to know everything about everyone. She was a master of blackmail and she had Felicity in her sights.

Felicity, unawares to Minnie's interest, went about her day as anyone would. She talked and got to know some of her classmates during their free time. She did a little exploring of the school. She even ventured to the door of the burnt East Wing. Though her curiosity about the fire was sparked, she would not learn more about that subject for quite some time.

During the evening all of the girls were gathered into the main room where they would spend most evenings together. It was during this time that Minnie approached Felicity. Felicity was talking about the joys of Paris with all the other girls in her class when Minnie made her way over to their small group.

"Miss. Worthington, I'd like to introduce myself," she began. "I am Minnie Morris—a third student year here at Spence."

"How do you do?" Felicity responded, more than a little intrigued by this older classmate.

"I was wondering if I could speak to you alone?"

Felicity peered at her group of friends, but found no answers. They were just as baffled as she was by this strange encounter. "Of course," she answered before following Minnie away from the group.

Minnie turned on her heels abruptly and almost caused Felicity to walk into her. "Excuse my brashness, but I know who your father is. You were destined to be a leader by birth. I am here to ensure you have the chance."

Felicity gawked at this older girl with admiration. Somehow she knew exactly what Felicity wanted most. Minnie continued, "Before you can become a part of my group of elite, you will have to undergo a test. Are you willing?"

"Yes."

"Alright. It is settled then. I'll be in touch." Minnie turned and walked away before Felicity could respond. As she walked back to her friends she wondered what just happened. All she knew was that she needed to prove that she was strong. She was determined to do just that.

**_I Love to be Reviewed_3_**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything except the plot and characters like Minnie.

**Sorry there was a long wait time for this chapter. My weekend was very busy. I will make up for the wait by adding another chapter by the end of today. I hope you enjoy. Thanks for reading.**

Felicity lied awake that night wondering what was ahead. She feared that the older girls were testing her already. Should she play them cold and ignore their disinterest? Or should she approach them and demand an answer for their stand-off behavior they had exhibited all evening? She was frustrated beyond belief and it was keeping her awake.

She rolled onto her side and attempted once again to get comfortable. Pippa was sleeping soundly nearby and Felicity found herself jealous of her friend. She wanted desperately to fall into the reality of her dreams. At least there she could wake up if things got bad.

Outside the room, there was a small creaking that caused Felicity to sit up quickly. She knew that sound all too well. She couldn't help but wonder if her father were coming to get her at Spence. She knew it was an irrational thought, but she still felt sick to her stomach.

Suddenly she remembered that she wasn't alone in the room. The doorknob was turning slowly but Felicity was already moving. By the time the door opened enough to see who was outside it, Felicity was perched like a mother over her cubs near Pippa's bed.

"What are you doing?" Minnie called out. Felicity relaxed some and moved away from Pippa's sleeping body. "What are _you_ doing?" she replied sharply.

"Put on your shoes; it's time for you initiation."

Felicity didn't understand why she had to undergo her test at night, but she was not going to complain. She would not look like a child in front of Minnie. With her shoes on Felicity followed Minnie quietly down the staircase. There four other girls waiting at the bottom. Minnie introduced them as Allison, Mary, Ruby, and Emily.

The small group walked slowly up toward the chapel. Felicity was trying to memorize her steps because she had enough instinct to know she would be walking back alone later. Minnie had refused to tell her where they were going and what they were doing, but Felicity knew it would be dangerous in some way. She was not scared. Rather, she was focused. She knew she had to succeed if she were to gain the trust of these girls.

After a few minutes of walking they stopped in front of the chapel. Felicity was shivering but tried to hide her small weakness. She looked up at the tall building and swallowed the lump in her throat. She had never been a very religious person, but she knew that whatever they had in mind was probably a sin.

"Your mission is simple," Minnie said with a wide grin. She was stifling laughter. "You must go in and steal some of the communion wine."

Felicity looked at Minnie's overjoyed face and knew that she was serious. "What about the Reverend?" she asked, trying not to allow her voice to shake.

"He will be passed out drunk by now," Minnie replied. "If you are too scared you don't have to do this?"

"I'm not scared," Felicity promised without a hint of dishonesty. She really wasn't scared at all about retrieving the wine. Her biggest fear was making it back to school alright. She had only been to the chapel once before. She didn't know the woods well yet. Plus, she had heard there were gypsies nearby. Felicity had enough common sense to know that it was not safe for her to walk alone at night.

"If you do this, you will officially be part of our group. And you will never have to worry about your reputation at Spence again." Minnie pushed the door open and waited for Felicity to step through the threshold. Just as Felicity predicted, the door slammed shut behind her. She could hear the others girls laughing from the other side.

She took a few stumbling steps forward and ran into a pew. It was much too dark for her to see anything so she put her arms out and walked slowly toward the alter. Her foot brushed up on a small rodent causing her to jump back and squeal. This was by far the most ridiculous task she had ever done.

As she slowly worked her way up the aisle, she listened for any kind of movement that would be bigger than a rat. She didn't want the Reverend to wake and catch her there. After what seemed like forever, she reached the case of wines. She pulled out the first bottle she could grab and pulled the quirk. One quick swig signaled that it was not communion wine. It burned going down her throat and warmed her chest pleasantly. She placed it gently back and grabbed a bottle that was shaped different. Instead of tasting it, she trusted her instincts. The way back to the door was easier now that she knew where she was going.

The doors opened easily in front of her. The other girls were long gone so Felicity lifted her skirts and began the walk back. The wind was strong enough to blow her hair out of its proper bun. She looked down at her feet as she walked and tried not to listen to the sounds of the night.

She made it back to the school in record time. When she made it back up to the room, Felicity struggled to find a good hiding place for the wine. She finally settled on putting it under her bed. In her haste to find a good spot, Pippa woke up. Felicity did not notice at first, but as she crawled into her welcoming sheets she saw those violet eyes staring in her direction.

"Did I wake you?" Felicity whispered.

"Yes. Where were you?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow."

"Did you steal that wine?" Pippa asked sounding more intrigued than appalled.

"Yes." Pippa did not ask anymore questions. If it weren't for her white smile shinning through the darkness, Felicity would have thought she fell asleep before the answer. Felicity watched as the smile on Pippa's lips turned down and eventually formed a small "o" as she slept. Soon sleep found Felicity as well.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: **I hereby do not claim this.

**I promised it, and here it is. Reviews would be extra appreciated. **

The following day Felicity found herself in the midst of change. It was the first official day of classes and she had to adjust to her new schedule. Furthermore, she was being paraded by Minnie and her other new friends. They wanted to ensure that every one knew which group Felicity was a part of.

Minnie also made sure to sneak into Felicity's room and steal the wine before anyone could find it. She was impressed by the fact that Felicity actually found it. Felicity, of course, soaked up all the praise and gloated silently for longer than necessary. She was now part of an elite group; and more so, Felicity was on the fast track to passing up the four other girls in the group.

Cicely, Elizabeth, Martha, and Pippa were not happy about Felicity's abandonment of them. Pippa felt hurt because Felicity was her closest friend. The other girls were only angry because of jealousy. Felicity could see how peeved her friends were during vespers when she sat with Minnie, but she chose to ignore it. That is, until she saw Pippa's violet eyes brim with tears. Something inside Felicity's body broke. She could not choose to leave Pippa with the others while she found a way to ensure success. Pippa would go with her.

When vespers ended, Felicity asked Minnie if she could talk to her alone. They slowed their pace and eventually were far enough from the rest of the group to speak privately. "I assume you are wondering about the fate of the wine you stole?" Minnie began. "Don't worry; you will get first glass."

"That's not want I wanted to speak with you about." Felicity paused and looked into the dark woods hoping to find the right words. "I need to ask you a question."

"Well then ask it. Shyness is most unbecoming on you. You are the Admiral's daughter—be bold."

"I would like my friend, Pippa Cross, to be allowed to join our group." Felicity stopped and looked straight into Minnie's brown eyes with the most intensity she could muster. She would win this argument because she wanted it more.

"Pippa is just a normal child; why should she be allowed to join the group for the superior?"

Felicity took a deep breath and steadied herself for whatever blow was to come from the words she was about to say. "You know as well as I do that you and I are the only two in the group who are superior. Allison is too dumb. Ruby is too shy to do any good. Mary copies your every move. And must I really go into the pitfalls of Emily? The two of us are the real elite here. And you get to have your sheep in the group. Why can't I have mine?"

Minnie's nostrils flared and eyes bulged. Felicity did not back down though. She stood tall on her tiptoes and waited for the older girl to hit her, or at the very least rebuke her. No such thing came. Minnie stopped shaking and gradually relaxed her tense shoulders. When she finally spoke, it came out cold and emotionless. "We will initiate her tonight."

Felicity walked back to the school alone. She could not contain her joy at the situation at hand. She knew that she had won more than the right for Pippa to join. Felicity had one respect from the leader of the group. From that point on, Felicity would be Minnie's favorite. And that, Felicity knew, was her access to rule the school as soon as Minnie left.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the wonderful characters of Felicity and Pippa.

**I really like this chapter. I hope all of you do as well. Thanks for reading. It means a lot to me that people are taking the time to read my writing.**

Felicity mentally prepared Pippa for what was to come, but did not know if her advice was effective at all. She only knew that Pippa's small face was paler than usual that night before bed. They undressed for bed in silence. There was none of the giggles and squeals that usually accompanied the pair when they were left alone.

When all the lights were out and Felicity was nuzzled underneath her warm sheets, she decided to break the uncomfortable silence. "There is no need to be scared," she said staring only at the ceiling. "You won't get caught as long as you are quiet."

"I'm not afraid of getting caught." Pippa paused and swallowed a thick lump in her throat. "There are gypsies in the woods. And what it something happened inside the church?"

"What could possibly go wrong inside the church?" Felicity asked confused.

"What if I…I fell down and stubbed my toe? Or what if I feinted?"

"You won't feint or fall. I promise." Felicity finally rolled over and looked at her dark-haired friend. Pippa's eyes were wide open and shiny from the tears she was holding in. "And there were no gypsies out when I walked back last night."

"Can't I refuse to do it? I don't need to be friends with them."

"I want you to be," Felicity answered. "I miss you."

"I miss you too," Pippa agreed with a sniffle. The tears had finally begun. Felicity crawled out of bed and ran across the cold floor over to Pippa's sobbing side. She wrapped her arms around the small child and soothed her the way a loving mother would. Felicity did not know where she learned this trick because her mother had never done it. But she knew that something felt right about protecting Pippa. She silently promised herself to make sure no one ever makes Pippa cry again.

Minnie showed up outside their door sometime later. The girls hastily put on their shoes and cloaks. Together Pippa and Felicity marched up toward the church. The other girls were a few feet ahead full of laughter and merriment. When they reached the church, Minnie turned her knowing stare on the two youngest girls in the group.

"I would assume Felicity told you what your task is," Minnie stated coldly. "Do you have any questions?"

"Has anyone ever gotten hurt doing this?"

"Only a few," Minnie answered with a snicker. "I'm sure you will be fine." With a small shove, Pippa fell into the church. Felicity watched her disappear into the darkness before the door slammed behind her. Minnie, Emily, and Ruby pulled the door shut and held tight for a few silent minutes.

"Who has gotten hurt before?" Felicity demanded when Minnie turned and started to lead her group back down the hill.

"No one," Minnie laughed. "A little fear builds character."

"She's really scared!"

"If she is too scared, then she is too young to be in our group. We can go get her now, if you want that."

"She can go back to her own friends," Allison added to the argument.

"She's fine," Felicity scoffed. "She will be just fine."

"That's what I thought," said Minnie with no warmness in her gaze. Felicity walked back to Spence in silence. She had no desire to speak to Minnie or any of her incompetent friends.

When she got back to her room, Felicity sat on her bed and waited for Pippa to return. When an hour had passed, she slid her cloak back on and slid out her bedroom door quietly. Felicity was much too worried to wait any longer.

It was cold outside as Felicity ran toward the chapel. She was fast and quiet as she weaved in and out of rocks on the ground. Other people would have fallen on these small obstacles, but Felicity was a born athlete. When she got to the chapel doors and still had not found Pippa, she began to worry. She wondered if Pippa had been stolen by the gypsies.

Then Felicity heard a soft sniffle coming from behind the chapel doors. With one arm, she threw the doors open and stampeded in. Pippa was curled up against the far wall with a bottle in her hand. Tears streaked down her perfect little face. Felicity's heart wrenched at the sight and she herself fought tears.

"It's me—Felicity," she announced since Pippa most likely could not see. "I've come to walk you back."

"You came for me?" Pippa mumbled as she stood from the spot on the ground.

"Yes. Now come on." Pippa jumped into Felicity's strong arms as soon as she could actually see that it was her. Felicity stumbled back a few steps, but held onto her pretty friend. "I'll always protect you," she whispered into Pippa's silky hair.

Pippa squeezed her friend closer before pulling away. There were no other words to be said. The girls wandered back to school with their arms linked. They were happy as could be. For the first time in a long time, Felicity felt warmth inside her stomach. Tomorrow was a new day; Felicity knew it would be a new chance to be happy.

**Reviews would be very sexy.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything except a few minor characters and plot. Everything else belongs to the wonderful and talented Libba Bray.

The following morning, Minnie was surprised to find that Pippa had also managed to grab the wine and get out safely. She suspected that Felicity went back to help her, but had no proof so she let it go. From that day on, Felicity and Pippa were inseparable.

Two years went by without even an argument between the girls. The only times they ever kept secrets from each other during those years were when Felicity would refuse to talk about her father. Both Christmas's that Felicity spent at home her father continued to show his love for her. She was becoming used to it. She could now even love her father despite his methods of returning the love.

Felicity knew Pippa had a secret too. Sometimes she would leave during class and disappear for the rest of the day. Whenever Felicity asked about it, Pippa said she spent the day sleeping off a cold. Felicity did not push for answers because she knew that Pippa would tell her what was really going on when she was ready. Both girls were willing too allow one secret amongst them.

During those two years, Felicity started to see the world differently. She was no longer content with the idea of learning what she needed to know to be a good wife. More than that, her time spent in France had given her a taste of freedom. Each day she was becoming increasingly bolder in both her words and actions.

She no longer was content being second best to Minnie. Felicity craved power. It manifested itself in her heart and she could not wrench free from its icy grip. She found herself plotting the downfall of Minnie at night while Pippa slept soundly on the other side of the room. She told Pippa of her plans one day, but was surprised when Pippa discouraged her against them. Pippa mentioned that Minnie would debut later that year and be gone anyway. But for Felicity, that was not enough. She wanted to establish her position before Minnie left.

Felicity made her decision in late October of 1890 after she and Minnie had had a particularly fowl conversation. Felicity had been reading a letter her mother sent from Paris when Minnie approached her. Minnie took a seat in the chair across from Felicity and interrupted. "I know Pippa's secret."

Felicity was intrigued. She folded the letter and waited for more information. "I know why she leaves class and disappears for hours at a time," Minnie added sounding more than a little frustrated at Felicity's cool reserve.

"Who told you?"

"I overheard Brigid discussing it with Mrs. Nightwing. But that is beside the point. Don't you want to know what it is?"

"Not particularly," Felicity answered. She was interested though. She had to force herself to feign disinterestedness.

"It is really fascinating," Minnie whined in an attempt to convince Felicity. But Felicity was made of stone when her mind was made up. She would not hear it.

"I don't care. Pippa is my friend; she will tell me when she is ready."

"You will find out regardless of whether I say it now. I intend to tell the whole school."

Felicity knew that Minnie was testing her limits. She wanted to see is Felicity would agree to listen in exchange for the explanation to remain a secret. Felicity was not going to give in. She was beyond angry at Minnie for even considering sharing a private secret of Pippa's.

"You know you aren't really going to do that," Felicity warned as she stood. She was ready to employ the information she had gathered from Minnie's file a few weeks back. It was time Minnie tasted her own treatment. "Because if you do, I will tell everyone about what really happened to your father."

Felicity watched as Minnie's eyes bulged out and her cheeks darkened. "I don't know what you are talking about," she finally whispered.

"Don't play ignorant. I know you are not as vapid as you seem," Felicity seethed. "Your father left your family, didn't he? He began a new life on his settlement in Africa, did he not? Doesn't he have little half-breed children?"

Minnie began to cry. "How did you find that out?" she sobbed. "No one can know."

"And no one will," Felicity promised. "As long as you do as I say. Starting with Pippa, of course."

"I won't tell a soul," Minnie promised.

"Good. But I want more from you."

"If it is possible for me to give, I will. Anything you want is yours."

"I want your position," Felicity stated. "I want you to do as I say—to allow me to lead the discussions, chose the nighttime rendezvous, and decide who stays and goes."

Minnie sobbed, but nodded in agreement. Felicity had won. She had finally gained the spot she had always wanted. From that day on Felicity was practically royalty at Spence.

**Reviews would be appreciated. I know I bug you a lot about them, but feedback really does help the writing process. I like knowing what you all like and dislike to improve in future chapters.**


	12. Chapter 12

**First I want to thank everyone for waiting so patiently. I have been very busy, and it will continue. Therefore, my writing will be very spur of the moment. I promise I will do my best to continue to write as often as I can. I have some really great plans for future chapters and am very excited to get there. So thanks for bearing with me.**

Fall turned into a brisk winter that left the girls of Spence eager to return home to the comfort of home. Even Felicity was feeling a little sentimental for the large, cold house she had grown up in. This Christmas season was the first Felicity was excited for in years. She would be home with her whole family. But her excitement didn't flow from this fact. Rather, Felicity was animated at the ball her parents were hosting. Though Felicity was not yet old enough to attend, the Denby's were coming. More importantly, they were bringing Simon.

Felicity had not seen Simon since the day he kissed her. She was flushed and eager to see what he would be like after all this time. More importantly though, Felicity needed to see if she still wanted to marry this boy from her childhood. She knew she was not the same little girl she was when they raced in her garden. Felicity Worthington was vivacious, conniving, and charming in every way. She was acutely aware of the power her sexuality offered and fervently mastering the art of seduction.

She practiced furrowing her brows and pouting her lips while Pippa droned on about Prince's and Princess's that only existed in her overactive imagination. Felicity found a way to smile and bite her lip that looked exactly like what she had seen a whore do in the streets of Paris. Quickly, Felicity was growing into a very powerful woman. She knew it too.

The first part of the Christmas holiday was a dull one in the Worthington estate. Felicity spent her days counting the minutes until Simon would come. She spent the nights underneath her father's sweaty body. It no longer bothered her. She was numb to the pain after all these years.

The night of the ball did finally arrive. Felicity was dressed in her finest. She was excited to wear her first corset—the first sign that she was a woman. It would be a couple more years before Felicity would grow to resent the restricting clothing, but at twelve, she basked in the way her body was manipulated to fit the male fantasy.

The Denby's arrived a few minutes fashionably late, but Felicity was waiting patiently in the library with a book in one hand and a chaperone in the corner. One of the many servants escorted Simon in. At first Felicity did not recognize him. He had grown into a gangly, awkward young man. He was still devilishly handsome, but in a pubescent kind of way.

"Miss. Worthington," he bowed. "How do you do?" His voice was deeper—almost unrecognizable.

Felicity had no idea why he was so polite. They had never addressed one another so civil. What happened to her old friend? "I do well. Thank you Mr. Middleton," she replied with a small curtsy.

Simon smiled the same mischievous grin he had always had, but something was different about it. Felicity bit the inside of her cheek and debated what could have changed about him. Had London society turned him into a boring gentleman? Something in his blue eyes suggested that that was not the case.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Simon's unfamiliar voice. "May I ask what you are reading?"

Felicity peered at the cover of the book she had in hand. She was not actually reading it. It was a decoration like many other trinkets in the Worthington house. "_Wuthering Heights_," she answered. It was the type of book she dreaded. She had read others of the same genre and disliked them all.

"I hear that's a wonderful book," Simon replied awkwardly. "I personally prefer Dickens. _A Tale of Two Cities_ in one of my favorites."

Felicity smiled. It was one of her favorites as well. "It seems we have similar tastes. That is also one of my most cherished books."

The realization that they still had something in common caused them both to relax immensely. Simon plopped into the chair across from Felicity's. His relaxed pose made Felicity long to lean back in the same manner. She couldn't in her corset, so she remained upright and ladylike. "So how's school?" Simon asked, sounding genuinely interested. "I only hear the best about Spence Academy."

"Well you've heard wrong then," Felicity joked. "It's a school for puppets."

"And who works the strings?"

"Britain."

"Why, of course," Simon laughed. "You wouldn't appreciate being told how to behave. I always knew you would have a hard time adjusting to your expectations."

"What do you expect from me?" Felicity asked, turning the critical eye on her childhood friend. Simon shifted uneasily and looked deep into her grey eyes.

"A better question should be what my mother expects from you," he answered honestly. "I only expect that you love me as I love you if we are to be married,"

A small clearing of the throat came from the corner of the room where the chaperone sat. Felicity did not care to even remember her name. "Oh do be quite," she snapped. The blonde worker glared at Felicity, but averted her gaze when Felicity focused her energy back.

"That was charming," Simon laughed. "It's a good thing that I like my women with a little fire within them."

"Women?" Felicity began to laugh at the thought of Simon having others like her. She knew this string bean man-child had no one but her; at least for the time being him only had her attention. "Have you been unfaithful."

"Of course not!"

"I suggest the two of you change the topic," the chaperone chimed in from her post.

"Or what?" Felicity challenged. "You'll go interrupt my mother and tell her that her daughter is discussing school with her friend of many years?"

"You are not discussing school, Miss. Worthington."

"Who do you think she will believe?" Felicity stood. "The two of us? Or a poor servant girl?"

"Felicity!" Simon exclaimed. He stood up and grabbed her arm before adding, "Calm yourself."

"Don't tell me what to do," Felicity spit back. "I am not a child you can demand things of."

"I'm only asking that you relax," Simon leveled. "She won't say anything because she is already scared of you. There is no need to taunt the girl."

"Why do you sympathize with her?"

Simon leaned into Felicity's ear and whispered a stealth reply. "Because I can convince her to leave us alone if she trusts me."

"You better be right," Felicity insisted.

Simon smiled that grin that Felicity wanted to understand and focused his dark blue eyes on the meek blonde girl in the corner. "What is your name?" he asked softly.

"Elizabeth Martin," she trembled.

"Elizabeth. What a beautiful name," Simon cooed. "It's fitting for such a beautiful girl. If only I were old enough to court you." Elizabeth's cheeks turned a burgundy shade as she fumbled around for words. "A girl as beautiful as you should be downstairs enjoying the festivities."

"I cannot. Mrs. Worthington instructed me to watch the young Miss. Worthington." Felicity did not like being talked about when she was in the room, but she remained quite. Something about the way Simon was flirting fascinated her. She watched him work all the same tricks she had been dying to practice.

"Do you trust me?" Simon said as he closed the distance between himself and Elizabeth.

"I do," she replied with no hesitation.

"Then go. No one will notice that we are alone."

"What if I get caught?"

"I will say that we ran from you, and you were trying to find us."

"What's in it for me?" Elizabeth insisted. She was trying her best to not be persuaded by this flirtatious boy. But Simon was just handsome enough to get exactly what he wanted.

"A call from me sometime in the future—when I am a little older." Elizabeth's cheeks darkened even more. All it took was a kiss on the cheek to send her scurrying out of the room. "And that, Felicity, is how you woo a girl."

"As if I will even need to know how to woo a girl," Felicity teased. At the exact moment she said it though, a picture of Pippa flashed through her mind. She pushed it away and smiled at her comrade.

"Now that we are alone, I want to ask you something," Simon stated emotionlessly as he walked toward Felicity's suddenly tense frame. "Do you remember that last time we were together?"

"Is that what you want to ask," Felicity pondered.

"No. That is a prologue to my real question."

"Of course I remember, Simon."

"Do you remember the kiss?"

"Yes, Simon," Felicity answered sounding intrigued by where the conversation was headed.

"I'm glad you remember because I can't forget it."

"Have you tried?" Felicity asked with an eyebrow raised in her favorite new expression.

"No. But I do think about it frequently. And I must say, you are growing into quite a beautiful woman." Felicity only nodded and waited for him to continue. She was not one to thank people for compliments because she felt it affirmed what they had to say. "And I would love to kiss you again…if you would permit it."

"Why wouldn't I?" she replied even more intrigued.

"Well you weren't exactly ready the last time. I want this time to be a mutual consent."

Felicity had never been asked to be kissed. Her father always stole them. And Simon took one unannounced when they were children. She wondered if she wanted to be kissed. Would it be better? Or would it remind her of her father? She had to make up her mind quickly.

"My curiosity is going to get the better of my logic. Kiss me." Simon took the two small steps in between them and clumsily put his lips on Felicity's. He slid his top one over hers, but did not exactly know what was supposed to happen next. Felicity felt a small flicker of fear in the pit of her stomach. Was he going to force himself on her?

The question dissipated from her mind when she realized how soft and timid this kiss was compared to what she was used to. So she did what was necessary to make it a real kiss. Felicity sucked his bottom lip gently. She was now in control and something happened inside her. She found herself kissing him fervently. But more than that, Felicity felt him succumbing to her desires. It was exhilarating. When she pulled away, they both stood catching their breath with grins and reddened cheeks.

"That was pleasant," Simon finally admitted.

"I agree," Felicity boldly affirmed.

"Would you like to do it again?"

"Sure." This time Felicity closed the gap between them. And that is how it went for the rest of the night. They kissed more times than Felicity could count. With each new embrace Felicity gained confidence. She tried new things with her tongue and soaked up the power that came with each response from Simon. She felt, for the first time, confidence in her seductive prowess.

**Review please. It makes me a very happy writer.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** I hereby claim the same thing I have been claiming for awhile.

**Two chapters in one day; I'm on a roll. No really. I feel bad for not writing all weekend so I'm using my free time tonight to write as much as possible. This one is short, but kind of important. I should update once more tonight. If not, it will be tomorrow. Either way, I promise you will get at least one more soon.**

Like all breaks, Christmas holiday came to an end and Felicity returned to Spence. She remained the leader of what was once Minnie's group, but could not find it in her to care. Her tryst with Simon left her hungry for a very specific kind of power. She longed to control men and that just wasn't going to happen at Spence.

Felicity needed something to feel that void in her heart that was suffocating her from the inside. She didn't understand her desire—rather, her need—for power, but she recognized the cravings as detrimental. She knew she needed to find some way to control her thirst because it was a serious issue to her social standing. She had to find a way to calm herself.

By the time summer came out from hiding, Felicity had grown cold and dull. Minnie and most of her friends were debuting which meant Felicity was finally the most established one at school. She tried, but could not make herself happy. That is until her return to Paris for vacation.

The first few weeks of her time in Paris were spent studying history. She flew through every book she could find about strong and powerful women. This fascination became her religion. She needed to know how to gain more. When one of her mother's frequent visitors caught Felicity reading a biography of Queen Elizabeth's life, she took the time to chat with the studious girl.

"Miss. Worthington, pardon my interruption, but I see that you are reading about Elizabeth I. She was a great queen," the older woman said as Felicity closed the book and looked up at her frustrated.

"How do you do, Mademoiselle Darroch?"

"Not so civil, child. We are all friends here," she laughed in the most unladylike way. "What has you studying so diligently?"

"I'm just curious about women who have had great amounts of power," Felicity responded honestly. "Unfortunately, I've read almost everything on the subject I can find here."

"How old are you, child?"

"Twelve."

"You are a young lady then. I think it is time you venture to the other side of town."

"What do you mean?" Felicity asked as she tossed the book aside and stood.

"Have you heard of Montmartre?"

"Of course," Felicity answered. "It is the heart of the Bohemian Revolution, am I right?"

"Have you been?"

"Mother forbade it," Felicity responded a little embarrassed. Usually she would not listen to her mother, but it was the one instance she obeyed because she had no idea what she would find amongst these people.

"Well if you want to know powerful women living today, you should make a trip there. Of course, you should wait until your mother permits such an excursion."

"I will be sure to make a trip when I am older," Felicity promised with plans to go immediately already forming in her head. She only vaguely heard Mademoiselle Darroch say goodbye because she was lost in plans. She knew her mother would spend most of her day tomorrow with her newest lover. Felicity did not have much time to plan, but she was fearless. She knew that the next day she'd take a trip to Montmartre no matter what.

**To those that review regularly, you are awesome and I love you. Keep up the good work.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Here it is; just as I had promised. **

As soon as Mrs. Worthington had left, Felicity was on the move. She changed into a less elaborate dress than the one she had worn for breakfast with her mother. Felicity gathered some of the money she had stored in an old stocking and put it in a small purse. Before leaving she made sure she had everything she could possibly need. She even made sure to stick a small kitchen knife in her boot in case of an emergency.

It was hot and sticky outside as Felicity called a cab. The driver almost refused to take such a young woman where she asked to go, but some extra money convinced him otherwise. Felicity watched the city change as she traveled further from home.

"Miss," the driver said when they were getting close. "Where would you like me to drop you off?"

"Where do you usually drop people off here?"

"I will stop near the shops, where it is most busy this time of day."

"Very well," Felicity answered. The excitement was growing steadily inside her. She was beginning to feel good again. Somehow she knew that something very important would happen on this excursion.

The driver stopped on a really bust street. Felicity stepped out and immediately was struck by the smell. It was a constant sticky smell of wines. She breathed all that the place had to offer and began to walk through the crowded streets. People were very friendly; they smiled and greeted her as they made their way toward where ever they were headed. She found joy in the atmosphere. It was so very different from London.

Felicity stopped in front of a small little restaurant. Out front sat a woman wearing male trousers and smoking a cigarette. "Hello," Felicity greeted with one of her full-teeth smiles. Her French was flawless.

"Hello," the woman replied. She picked up her cup of green liquid and took a deep swig. "Aren't you a little young to be around these parts?"

"Why are you wearing trousers?" Felicity fired back.

"You Brits are much too closed-minded. And you fail to answer questions."

Felicity wished she could have deceived the woman with her French, but not even she was that good. She was too British. "I'm not too young," she answered to appease the interesting woman.

"I'm wearing trousers because I don't like dresses." The answer was so simple. Felicity wondered if she would ever have the audacity to do such a thing. Unlike this woman, Felicity liked dresses and could not comprehend wearing trousers. "Here. Take a seat," the woman demanded.

Felicity sat down at the empty chair and waited for further instruction. She had so many questions demanding attention, but she didn't know where to start. "What's your name?" the woman asked.

"Felicity." She did not give her last name because for once Felicity wanted to be seen as an individual and not her father's daughter.

"No last name, Felicity?"

"Not one," Felicity replied. "What is your name?"

"Abrial-Jolie. And I don't have a last name either." Felicity smiled at this woman and waited for something else to happen. She was truly out of place here. And yet, she was comfortable in the environment. "Would you like a cigarette?"

Felicity nodded in affirmation. She placed it in her mouth and waited for Abrial to light it. Like most first-timers, Felicity inhaled too quickly and coughed it all back up. Abrial laughed a billowing type that would be the most unladylike of all laughs in London. Felicity looked around to see if anyone was staring, but no one seemed to care. This time she inhaled intently. The smoke filled her lungs, but she did not cough.

"So Felicity, what brought you here today?"

"Curiosity mostly," she admitted in between drags.

"What are you curious about?"

"Everything."

"You seem comfortable here."

"I am," Felicity replied. "I feel safe."

"This isn't a safe place," Abrial insisted. "But under my watchful eye, you will be out of harms way."

"Why are you helping me?" Felicity asked sincerely.

"You remind me of myself at your age. Let me guess. You are itching to escape the confines of your class?"

Felicity wondered how much she should tell her new acquaintance. She finally decided on the whole truth because it seemed like Abrial would understand. "Quite the contrary actually," she began. "I desire to gain enough power to overthrow that which holds me back."

Abrial beamed at Felicity's strong sense of self. She remembered a time when she had that much confidence. "So much heart in you. I bet you will be a very passionate lover." Felicity felt her cheeks catch fire. "Oh! I embarrassed you!"

"I'm fine," Felicity stated. After a few deep breaths her face was back to its usual ghostly pale shade.

"You have much to learn, Felicity." Abrial put out the butt of her cigarette and swallowed the last of her green liquid. "The question is, am I willing to corrupt your innocent youth?"

Felicity could not help but feel a little anger at Abrial's insistence that she was a naïve child. "I am not a child," Felicity said coldly.

"But you aren't a woman either." Suddenly a tall woman with long black hair appeared from around the corner. She walked confidently up to Abrial and ran her hands through her brown locks. The two made eye contact briefly before engaging in a passionate kiss. Felicity felt her stomach tighten and her cheeks flare up. Yet, she could not take her eyes of the scene.

When Abrial pulled away, she whispered something in French that Felicity could not make out. The other woman nodded and left without a word. "Who was that?" Felicity asked boldly. She could not restrain the shock in her voice.

"That was Charlotte."

"Do you greet all your friends like that?"

Abrial threw her head back and laughed as if someone she hated had spilled tea on the Queen. "She's not my friend," Abrial sighed in between guffaws. "That is my lover."

Felicity tried to comprehend what she was hearing. She had heard of homosexuality before, but had never really assumed it happened. "I…I don't know what to say," Felicity admitted after chewing on the news.

"Did you know that even the Greeks had one like me?"

"No," Felicity answered.

"Her name was Sappho. She wrote poetry about her love of women."

"So…you're a Sapphist?"

Abrial chuckled, but took no offense in the subject. "You can call it that if you want."

Felicity had nothing else to say. She had barely been in Montmartre and she was already shocked at what she was seeing. And yet, she was intrigued. She had so many questions, but none that seemed appropriate. "Well, it was a pleasure meeting you, Felicity. I have a prior appointment. Maybe I will see you around here again."

"The pleasure was all mine," she replied politely and honestly. "I will definitely return."

Abrial stood up and left some money on the table for her drink. "Look up Sappho if you want to know more."

"I'll do that." And just like that, Felicity had completely forgotten about her desire for power. She was now infatuated with Abrial and the lifestyle in which Abrial chose to be a part of.

**Review, review, review :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**This is a very short chapter. I'm sorry for that. I will try and get another chapter posted today. I have to get some homework done first though.**

Felicity spent the rest of her summer buried under books. She made a habit of searching every book store that she could find on her day excursions when her mother was not home. At first she had a very difficult time learning anything about Sappho because most bookstore clerks scoffed at her when she mentioned the name. She learned fast that if she was to ever learn more she needed to be vaguer.

She began asking for Greek poetry books. In the folds of these pages she found minor references to the woman she wanted, but never enough to really understand who Sappho was. By midsummer Felicity knew she needed to search in a different type of bookstore. Like the first time she visited Montmartre, Felicity gathered her money and left. As she walked the busy shopping streets she looked around for Abrial but found no familiar face.

After a few hours of searching, she found what she was looking for. Felicity found a collection of all the recovered poems of Sappho. It cost her most of what she had left; but, she purchased it anyway. She hurried home and immersed herself fully in the lines of prose.

Felicity found joy in all the poems. Some were written for men. Others were irrefutably about women. Some were just lamentations. No matter what the subject, Felicity felt inclined to love them. They spoke to her own wants—her own desires. Felicity fell in love with Sappho's words.

She memorized every line of the poems she liked best. By the time she was scheduled to return to Spence, Felicity knew everything there was to know about Sappho. Somewhere in between the carefully constructed verses and Felicity's curiosity was a small change in the girl. Though this change was not as drastic as some of the other pivotal moments in Felicity's life, it was enough to plant a small seed of an idea in her head. It would be a while before Felicity would allow the seed to bloom, but it indefinitely would someday.


	16. Chapter 16

**Another chapter because I love writing this story. I hope everyone feels as passionate as I do about this story and Felicity in general. **

Back at Spence, Felicity built up her group with Pippa and herself in the middle and Cicely, Martha, and Elizabeth as their minions. Up until this year, Felicity had pretended Ann Bradshaw didn't exist. She only acknowledged the poor girl's existence when Ann sang for the group. There was denying that she was talented.

Unfortunately for Ann though, Cicely's outright dislike for the girl made her popular amongst Felicity's group. Felicity soon realized that she would have to revert to mean-spirited jokes to maintain on top. Pippa followed Felicity in every way. Soon enough, Ann was the butt of all jokes.

Felicity found her disinterestedness turn to distaste. Ann's refusal to stand up for herself caused Felicity to dislike the girl. Soon enough though, Felicity found herself hating the girl because she was good at everything she did. Felicity was jealous of Ann's voice. But mostly Felicity was angry because Ann didn't have to remember to clean up her room, add shading on her drawings, or even remember her cloak on the way to vespers. It was an immature reason to hate the chubby girl, but Felicity could not help it. Making fun of her only made it easier to hate her.

Meanwhile, Felicity's body was beginning to change. She grew hair in new places. She was happy the morning she realized that she was finally growing breasts. She was the first of the girls to begin development, but Pippa and the others soon followed. By the end of that school year each of the girls looked a little older.

Felicity had finally lost the roundness in her face that accompanied most children. Her features were sharp. The new shape of her face accentuated her grey eyes. Almost overnight Felicity went from overly-flirtatious child to seductive young woman. Over the Christmas holidays she found men of all ages turning their heads at her when she walked. She realized soon that her power would always lie in her ability to make men weak by their own passion. She saw men as easily manipulated and barbaric.

Time passed quickly. Felicity watched as another school year passed. She spent the summer on a vacation with Pippa's family. In the two months spent traveling the British land, Felicity grew tired of Pippa's constant imaginings and silly stories. She was becoming a realist.

When she returned to her house in London, her father took notice of her body. When he came to visit her the first time one night, he asked if she had begun menstruation. When she told him no, he continued in the way he always had. Only now, his hands hand places to grip. Felicity closed her eyes and allowed her mind to wander to better places.

When school resumed that year, Felicity was a fully developed fourteen-year-old. She was required to wear her corset at all times. Mrs. Nightwing began lecturing her class about the importance of reputation. These were all lessons Felicity already learned. She spent her class time in a different world.

Pippa had grown into the most beautiful young woman imaginable. Felicity found herself watching her friend undress at night. She enjoyed the moments when Pippa asked for help with her corset. Those short minutes were the times when Felicity could feel her fingertips on Pippa's bare shoulders. Felicity did not understand why she was so fascinated with Pippa's beauty, but she didn't care to find out. She enjoyed her secret admiration. Besides that, Felicity assumed everyone felt the same for Pippa.

Pippa was the subject of conversation no matter where she went. When Mrs. Worthington finally paid a visit to Spence in October, she was astounded by the young woman's beauty. Felicity was proud of her friend. More so, Felicity took pride in the fact that she got to be the one Pippa trusted with all her secrets—the one who held her close on stormy nights. Felicity, without even realizing it, had grown attached to her best friend. Her devotion to Pippa was something that would linger even when she was grey and old. Felicity's life would never be the same because of the girl with violet eyes.

**After having the best day, I would love some reviews to be the cherries on top :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**What can I say? I couldn't resist. I had to get to this chapter today. I hope everyone likes it :)**

Another Christmas season waited patiently on the horizon. Felicity was disappointed when news came that her break would be spent in the Worthington home with both her parents. She was eager to return to the relaxed atmosphere of Paris and the comfort of salon life. Instead, she would spend her time off locked in her house with the maids.

The only foreseeable happy event Felicity could interpret was the tea her mother was scheduled to have with Mrs. Cross. This tea meant that Felicity could see her friend during those impossibly long weeks. She desperately hoped that Mrs. Worthington would be impressed with Mrs. Cross and insist of having tea more often.

Just as Felicity expected, the first few days at home were tedious. She wandered around her house in search of some amusement. Three days before Christmas, her boredom was appeased. Lady Denby and Simon arrived unannounced for tear. Mrs. Worthington, still trying to win back favor with Lady Denby, agreed to the surprise and sent Felicity off for a wardrobe change.

Felicity searched her closet eagerly in hopes of finding the perfect dress. She had yet found the opportunity to utilize her new body on a man. This was her chance. She finally found a dress that had fit her when she was a little younger. She slid into it and asked the maid to tighten her corset as tight as she could. The final result was a low neckline and a bulging chest. Felicity smiled at her image in the mirror before making her way to the sitting parlor.

Simon was even taller than Felicity remembered him. His once lanky frame had filled out into that of a man's. Felicity stared boldly at her old friend. He gaped back at her. Something in his eyes caused Felicity to smile. She was gaining the upper hand without even trying.

"Felicity dear," Mrs. Worthington said with her fake smile. "Miss. Jameson will chaperone you and Mr. Middleton if you would prefer to take your tea elsewhere." Felicity peered through a stray strand of hair at Lady Denby to make sure this was in fact the case. Lady Denby did not object so Felicity agreed.

She led Simon and Miss. Jameson upstairs to her father's sitting room. Simon immediately began racking up a game of pool. Felicity made her way to one of the couches. "Miss. Jameson," she began, once comfortably perched. "I hear Mr. Canton means to court you." Simon looked up from the pool table with a twinkle in his eye.

"I heard that as well," the shy maid responded. She was new at the house and did not know how to talk to Felicity. The others had warned her about Felicity's mind games.

"I saw you speaking with him this morning by the barn."

"I brought him breakfast," Miss. Jameson responded. Her tone suggested that she was scared Felicity was going to punish her.

"I saw you kiss him," Felicity prodded. Simon now stood up straight, leaning on his cue. He was intrigued. Miss. Jameson opened her mouth to make an excuse, but was cut off by Felicity's mock-innocent voice. "I think the two of you would make a lovely couple."

"Do you really?"

"I do. And I overheard him talking about you with one of the other drivers today."

"You did?" she exclaimed.

"Yes. He mentioned his desire to spend the afternoon with you." Felicity paused dramatically before lighting her face up as if she just had a brilliant idea. "Oh, I know! Why don't you go surprise him now?"

"Well, now. I can't do that Miss. Worthington. I'm under strict orders to chaperone the two of you."

"Us?" Felicity laughed. "Simon and I have been dear friends for years. There's no need to watch us. He's like a brother to me."

"I really shouldn't," Miss. Jameson quivered.

"Alright," Felicity responded with a head shake. She was portraying the innocent bystander so well that Miss. Jameson found herself trusting this blonde girl with amiable eyes. "I'm sure he will still want you tomorrow."

"Are you sure the two of you will behave?"

"Positively," Felicity promised. She sounded sincere enough to convince a fish to fly. It was all part of the charm that Felicity had spent years perfecting. She was an actress with the world as a stage.

"Alright," Miss. Jameson said. "I will be back later. Do not get caught."

"We won't!" Felicity watched as the maid hurried out the door.

"Well that was quite impressive," Simon mused from his spot near the pool table. "You are exactly what I thought you would grow to be."

"And what's that?" Felicity picked up a cue of her own and chalked the tip.

"Extraordinarily beautiful. Charming. A little manipulative."

"You would not think me to be beautiful had you met my friend, Pippa."

"Maybe that is so," Simon admitted as he broke. "But is this Pippa charming and manipulative?"

"Most definitely not." Felicity leaned over the table and sunk three stripes. She had spent many years practicing pool. Simon whistled quietly and waited for her to take her next move. She missed.

"Time has treated you well," Simon boldly stated as his eyes raked over Felicity's body. She stood taller and smiled to herself. "You filled out nicely."

"I could say the same about you," Felicity responded. "But I'm not going to."

Simon's laugh was hearty and honest. He was fascinated by the woman Felicity had become. For once, he was at a loss for words. The pair finished the game in silence. "Now what?" Simon asked as he put both their cues away.

"I could show you more of the house." Felicity deliberately bit her bottom lip and focused her eyes on Simon's. He gulped and nodded once. Felicity reached out and took his large hand in her own. She led him down the hall. He stopped in front of her open bedroom door.

"Is this your room?"

"It is," she admitted.

"Can we go in?"

Felicity did not want Simon anywhere near her bed. Really, she did not want him in the room at all. She longed for an escape from the mental images in her mind—not a reminder. "No. I want to show you a different room." She led him up another flight of stairs to the servants' bedrooms. Toward the end of the hall was Miss. Jameson's small room. Felicity opened the door and pulled Simon in behind her.

Making sure to shut the door behind her, Felicity took a seat on the bed. Simon followed her lead and sat too. It only took a second for the two of them to gain the courage to kiss. Their lips crashed together in a hectic frenzy. Felicity felt his tongue slide into her mouth and his hands tug at the strings of her corset.

Regaining control, Felicity pushed her body on top of his. They fell back onto the bed and continued to kiss. Simon's hands were slowly loosening the ties that held Felicity into the ideal woman standard. She allowed him to remove the corset because the act alone was enough to fill her head with power.

Simon was breathing heavy as they kissed each other's lips and necks. Though Felicity's body reacted positively to his touch, she was acutely aware of the similarities of his touch to that of her father's. It sickened her so she pushed the thoughts away.

Felicity unbuttoned Simon's shirt and pulled it off when he sat up to tug her dress off. She looked at his toned body but felt nothing but dread. The hard creases on his stomach and bulging arms felt all too familiar.

Soon the pair had removed every article of clothing. Simon looked at Felicity with a mixture of awe and fear. Felicity was confident. She knew exactly what she was doing because unlike Simon, she had experience. She slid her body over his watched his expression turn to mush.

Felicity felt in control on top of Simon. She was in charge of the movements. She carefully placed herself how she wanted. She moved her hips in the manner that suited her own desires. And Simon grunted in his own ecstasy. This was everything and more than he could have ever imagined.

He finished much faster than Felicity's father ever had. She rolled off his sweaty body and began to dress. Simon sat up from the bed and watched as she hurried to find her clothes. "That was…wonderful," Simon finally admitted.

Felicity made eye contact with her friend and was surprised to see the adoration in his eyes. Her breath caught and she was at a loss for words. Finally, she mumbled, "I enjoyed it too." She finished dressing and turned to Simon when she needed the corset tied.

"I will tell my mother that I intend to marry you as soon as you are of age."

Felicity closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had no clue how to tell Simon that she would not marry him—that she could not marry him. Felicity decided while they were having sex that she could never be with a man who reminded her of her father. She knew that she needed to love someone vastly different. She also was aware that Simon was in love with her. "I love you, Felicity," he confirmed.

"Simon," Felicity began as she turned to look at him. He was still naked on the edge of the bed. "I can't marry you."

"Why not?" he asked sounding hurt.

"We would never work. We're too different."

"No we are not!"

"Simon," she whispered. Her hand gripped some of his hair and pulled him in for a hug. She felt terrible for doing this because she would always love Simon. But she could not love him the right way. She had to let him go so he could find someone who would treat him right. "I'm sorry."

His shoulders shook as he tried to hold back the tears that were brimming. Felicity closed her eyes tight to try and hold back her own little trails of weakness. She never thought it would be hard giving up Simon, but she never thought she would have to. "Why?" Simon sobbed as his arms pulled her closer.

"I can't be the girl you need," Felicity croaked. "I'm so, so sorry." A solitary tear dripped off her chin onto Simon's perfectly tousled brown hair. "I have to go," Felicity whispered before pulling away from the man she knew belonged to her. She ran to the door and took one last look at Simon's azure eyes before running as fast as she could to her room. Felicity Worthington spent the rest of the day crying into her pillow. She mourned the loss of her childhood. She grieved for the simpler times.

**If you have an opinion, I would love to know what it is. And let's face it, if you have made it to chapter 17, you have an opinion.**


	18. Chapter 18

**It's a short one. Thus, another one tonight is likely. I hope you like it.**

"You did what?" Pippa exclaimed. Felicity rolled her eyes and looked over to her friend. Pippa was perched on the edge of the bed. Felicity was lying on the floor—her favorite place to lounge.

"It's not that big of a deal," Felicity replied. "It was only sex."

"Only sex!" Pippa slid off the bed onto the floor. Her back remained against the bed, but now she could look at her nonchalant friend. "If this is a joke, it's not very funny."

"I'm not kidding. It really happened."

"What about your chastity?"

"What about it?"

"You lost your virginity!"

"That's been gone for a long time." The second the words escaped Felicity's mouth, she regretted them. She had not meant to say it. But she did. And she had no idea how to back-track.

"Wait!" Pippa bellowed. "Who? When?"

"No one," Felicity responded quickly.

"Have you been keeping secrets?"

"Yes," Felicity affirmed. "I have."

"Why wouldn't you tell me?" Pippa sounded broken hearted, but Felicity couldn't find it in her to care. She wanted desperately to forget the whole conversation.

"Don't act like you don't have your own secrets!"

"I tell you everything!"

"Oh really?" Felicity sat up and turned toward her lying friend. "Don't lie to me," she growled.

Pippa's violet eyes brimmed with tears. Felicity didn't soften her glare. She was angry beyond belief. "What do you want to know? What is so important that I am hiding from you?" A tear escaped.

"Where do you go when you have a headache? Why do you disappear for hours at a time?" Felicity was softening. It was a common reaction to Pippa's tears. Pippa was the one person that could control Felicity's emotion with her own.

"I can't tell you," Pippa whispered. "It's too embarrassing." Felicity placed her hand over Pippa's and squeezed gently in encouragement. Pippa wiped a tear off her cheek before whispering, "I'm damaged."

"Pip, you're perfect."

"No! I'm not. Why do you think my parents want to marry me off so quickly?"

"You're father has debts," Felicity answered. She was suddenly unsure of how much she really knew about her friend. Had Pippa lied about that too?

"That's only part of it."

"And what's the other part?"

Pippa sniffled once as she gathered the strength to say the words she had never said out loud. "I have epilepsy."

Whatever Pippa was expecting, what she got was vastly different. Felicity did not judge her friend. She didn't even see her any different. Instead, Felicity pulled Pippa into a warm embrace. Pippa's arms laced around Felicity's shoulders and the sobbing started. The pair remained in this tearful embrace until it was time for Pippa to return home with her mother. But as soon as Pippa was gone, Felicity knew she had to talk about what happened to her as a child. It was only fair that Pip know her biggest secret.

**Reviews and/or criticism. Hell, I will even take some suggestions.**


	19. Chapter 19

**So I absolutely loved writing this one. I only hope it came out in words as wonderfully as I pictured it in my head. **

Once back in the comfort of Spence, Felicity began preparations for telling Pippa her secret. She knew it would be one of the most difficult things she had ever done, but she assumed it would go better than when she told her mother. Pippa had been overwhelmingly kind. Not once had she brought up that day. Somehow Felicity knew Pippa was waiting though. She was curious.

A week after their return Felicity gathered enough courage to bring it up. It was night and they really should have been asleep at that hour. Felicity lay on her back lost somewhere in the pretend conversations in her head. Pippa was half asleep on her side.

"Hey Pip," Felicity whispered when she mustered up some courage.

"Mmmm?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Mmhmm."

"I'm damaged too." Felicity glanced over to see if Pippa was even awake enough to process her words. She was startled when the violet eyes shot open. Instinctively, Felicity rolled to her side so they were facing each other.

"Are you sick?"

"No." Felicity inhaled the musty air and regained her composure. "I'm damaged in here," she said as her hand slid over her heart. "And here." Her hand slid up to her forehead. "But mostly, I'm all broken here." Felicity's hand slipped down to her lower stomach. It continued a little lower. The hand only stopped when recognition painted Pippa's eyes bright.

"Were you…" She didn't have to finish the question. Felicity's intent eyes told everything that would never come out of her mouth. "But who?"

"You can't tell."

"I swear on my life," Pippa said devoutly.

Felicity squeezed her eyes shut and blocked out the world. These words were going to damn him in the eyes of her friend. Was she willing to allow his reputation to waver? "My father," she finally mumbled. Pippa gasped and shot up from the sheets.

"Oh Felicity!" she whined. "That's terrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you!"

"I don't want your pity," Felicity replied softly.

"Very well," Pippa responded. "But can I at least hug you?"

Felicity felt a smile pull at her cheeks. "Of course." Pippa bounded over to Felicity's bedside and fell into her waiting arms. Felicity pulled her beautiful friend into her sheets and held her close. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For this." Felicity dug her face into the dark ringlets. She inhaled the sweet smell of the only person that really knew her. She felt alive—stable—for the first time in a very long time.

"Someday you will find the right man for you," Pippa sighed.

Felicity wanted to believe her. But she couldn't convince herself. Felicity was beginning to see that there would never be a man she could give her heart to. She would steal theirs, but never the other way around. "Maybe so," she whispered to appease Pippa's wishes. "But for now, I am perfectly content with you."

Pippa placed her hand arm over the arm Felicity had wrapped around her waist. They were both comfortable where they were. Felicity slept at ease that night.

**Coming up soon is another time jump. I'm getting really close to the arrival of Gemma in the story. Are you excited? I am. I will remind you again, only because I like to be persistent. Please review.**


	20. Chapter 20

Felicity's unstable life became much more stable in the following two years. She spent most of her time at Spence learning how to become a "proper" woman. Felicity had a completely different word for what Mrs. Nightwing and the others were trying to mold her into. Her Christmas's and summer vacations were spent in the cold, lonely Worthington home. Her mother had not returned home since the Christmas where Pippa had confessed her illness.

Once Felicity began menstruating, the visits from her father stopped. She was relieved to see the era of his touch end, but it had its pitfalls too. Admiral Worthington now stayed away at sea more often. Felicity found herself lonely when she wasn't at school. Whenever she wrote to Mrs. Worthington about spending time in Paris, she was denied permission.

Simon had visited once the following Christmas. He looked Felicity in her cold eyes and promised her the world if only she would reconsider. Her refusal was a blow that Simon would never recover from. He felt inadequate and lost without the woman he loved. When he left her house that day, he promised himself to never allow himself to fall in love again. Felicity, likewise, vowed to avoid love at all costs because it only hurt people in the end.

The summer of 1895 was in the midst of a heat wave. Felicity spent most of her days in her garden with a book. She wanted to spend time with Pippa, but she was always busy with one thing or another. Her parents were investing everything they had in new dresses and the latest fashions for Pip. They were prepping her for her new suitor, Mr. Bumble.

Pippa could not stand the man. Really, she was disappointed with all the men her parents flaunted before her eyes. She was in search of a young, handsome prince. Her parents were looking for wealth. Sadly for Pippa, the parents always win. Felicity knew that Mr. Bumble was likely to be the one Pippa ends up with. She would never say it out loud though. Felicity was not cruel.

School started back up in late July. Felicity was overwhelmingly bored with her friends. She was ready for something new—something better. She searched for an opportunity to have fun. Her hunt resulted in Ithal—a gypsy man in which she began a flirtatious tryst with.

The pair met up in secret whenever possible. Pippa knew Felicity was hiding something. She begged and moaned whenever Felicity denied the accusations. As a result, a crevice emerged between the girls. They slept in the same room, but they might as well have been in different countries. Neither would admit exactly how much they were hurt by the fracture in their relationship so it continued to break.

Ithal was infatuated with Felicity. Felicity was obsessed with his infatuation. She fell in love with his admiration of her. She was in control because she was superior by class. Ithal didn't seem to mind. Although, as time went on, he became more and more attached. Felicity had to make a choice quickly. Did she continue this relationship for her own pleasure? Or did she end it now and possibly save both time and reputation?

The night she spent considering her options in her little fort was the night that Spence would change forever. Mrs. Nightwing entered the sitting room looking as dreary as usual. "Ladies, ladies. I have an announcement," she began. Pippa poked her head out of the scarves and made eye contact with Nightwing. "Miss. Cross, will you please come out of there? Miss. Worthington, Miss. Poole, Miss. Temple, and Miss. Hawthorne, I want all of you out here as well."

The girls scurried out of their safe haven and stood to listen. Felicity braced herself for a long pointless speech. "We have a new student arriving tomorrow night. I will explain more during that time, but I want each of you to be on your best behavior when she arrives. Remember ladies, grace, charm, beauty."

"I'm astounded," Felicity mused when Nightwing had left the room. "That was, by far, the shortest speech I have ever heard from her." The other girls laughed and resumed their spots in the sitting space.

"Who do you think will be joining us?" Cicely wondered as she ate one of the chocolate's Felicity's mother sent.

"Probably another little one. Why would someone our age just now start school?" Felicity responded dryly. She was bored—as usual.

"Maybe she will have a handsome brother," Pippa fantasized to the group. Felicity roller her eyes and laid back. This was going to be another long night.

**Finally, we have made it to the arrival of Gemma. I'm excited for upcoming chapters. I hope you all are too. Reviews are beautiful little creations that bring a smile to my face.**


	21. Chapter 21

**If there is any chapter that I absolutely want feedback on, it is this one. I'm not feeling too confidant about it. Tell me what you all think. Please!**

All of Spence was buzzing with excitement that day Gemma Doyle was to arrive. The youngest of the girls were delighted at a prospect of a new friend. Some of the older girls were hoping to find a distant relative of the Queen. The first class group was hopeful that the new girl would have a handsome brother. All except Felicity, who could care less about the new student. Felicity's only concern was her standing in the school. The last thing she wanted was for some new girl to come and knock her off the social hierarchy.

Shortly before vespers rumors started to circulate that the new girl had arrived. Felicity feigned disinterestedness and went about preparations for vespers as usual.

"I heard she has a brother," Pippa mused as she tied her cloak.

"I suppose it could be true."

"Do you think he is handsome?"

"I would have to see him to decide." Felicity slid her cloak over her shoulders and turned to her waiting friend. Pippa's obvious excitement shone through her eyes causing them to sparkle like the most expensive jewel. "You look exquisite today," Felicity complimented. She was trying to bridge the gap that had been forming between the pair since school started.

Pippa's smile was enough to reaffirm Felicity's companionship for this girl. She knew she had to end it with Ithal if she and Pippa were to ever be close friends again. Telling Pip was not an option. "Let's go," Pip sighed as she opened their bedroom door.

Felicity followed her down the stairs to the parlor. Cicely, Martha, and Elizabeth were already waiting at the front of the group. "Did you hear?" Cicely asked as soon as Felicity reached their little group.

"Hear what?"

"The new girl is here."

"And she has a brother," Elizabeth chimed.

"So I've been told," Felicity responded dryly.

"I bet he is handsome," Martha sighed. "And rich too."

"Pippa, I bet he notices you first," Cicely said with a hint of jealousy seeping into her voice.

"Well he certainly wouldn't look at you first," Pippa responded. Felicity could not contain her joy at Pippa's small jab. Everyone laughed, but Felicity bellowed. Pippa had learned well.

A clapping from further back in the room interrupted the girls from their mockery of one another. "Girls," Mrs. Nightwing began. "I'd like you to meet the new student of Spence Academy. This is Gemma Doyle. Miss. Doyle is joining us from Shropshire and will be in the first class." Mrs. Nightwing continued her speech, but Felicity heard none of it.

Her eyes were focused on the new girl. Felicity noticed first that the girl was tall with thick auburn hair. Her green eyes were a little unsettling. Felicity also noted her obvious discomfort at being the center of attention. Thus, Felicity assessed that the girl was not a threat. She yawned and focused her attention back on Cicely, who was more interested in Gemma than the insult she had just been hit with.

"She looks bland," Felicity mused to regain the attention of her group.

"She's awfully tall," Pippa added as she began the walk out the doors. It was cold and windy outside, but nothing new to the girls. They had all grown accustomed to English nighttime weather.

"She is rooming with Ann, it seems," Cicely commented with her head turned toward the back of the group.

"Poor girl," Martha sighed. She was always a little too soft for Felicity's liking.

"Poor Ann," Cicely replied. "She's rooming with a giant. I guess it's fitting though. The piggy and the beast under one roof."

"Would you give it a rest?" Felicity snarled. She was sick of Cicely's need to be rude for attention. They knew nothing about the new girl and had no right to automatically make assumptions about her.

"Oh, come on, Fee. I'm just having a little fun. And it's not like you don't do your fair share of teases Ann."

"You're right," Felicity replied. "I do tease Ann. But she is a scholarship student. This new girl is not. Stop teasing her until I determine if she needs to be put in her place." Cicely was stunned into silence. Felicity often had to remind her of her own place in the group. "Now, Pippa. We have some work to do. Follow me."

Felicity led Pippa off into the woods where they could not be seen. They watched and listened from a secure spot behind the trees. Most of the chatter was about the new girl. Many of the younger girls were disappointed that Gemma was not in their class. When most of the girls had passed, Felicity could hear Ann and Gemma working their way up the hill.

They were talking about Felicity and Pippa. Felicity smiled in spite of herself when Gemma made a witty comment about Ann's warning. It was time for Felicity to make her entrance though. She was always one to make her presence known in the opportune moment.

Felicity stepped out onto the road directly behind the girls. "Talking too much again, Ann? Don't you know that's the most unbecoming trait?" Pippa laughed heartily and whispered a snide comment that only Felicity could hear. "You're the new girl, aren't you?" Felicity remarked in order to make it clear who she was.

"Gemma Doyle," the redhead responded. Felicity recognized the trick. She was trying to show that she was not scared. Felicity would not admit it, but she was impressed.

Rather than continue on with Gemma, Felicity decided to focus on Ann. She knew there was no better way to intimidate the new girl than to belittle someone in front of her. "Gossip is a very bad habit. We don't indulge bad habits here at Spence, Mademoiselle Scholarship. You have been warned." Felicity proceeded to link her arm around Pip's and escort her off. "Nice to meet you, Miss. Doily," she added before gliding past.

Pippa ran into her on the way past causing a round of giggles from both Pippa and Felicity. The blonde felt good about herself. She felt that she had made her point very clear. Felicity was going to do whatever it took to make sure that Gemma knew how things went at Spence—even if it meant a few weeks of torture.


	22. Chapter 22

**Here's a long one. I hope you enjoy it. **

Felicity was nervous about the new girl. She spent all of her dinner hour devising a plan to force Gemma into submission. Unfortunately for Ann, Felicity could only come up with one plan that was guaranteed to work as she wanted. That one plan was destined to destroy Ann's feeble reputation.

Dinner ended and the girls made their way to their usual spot in the great hall. Felicity sat in her corner of the tent of scarves and waited patiently for her companions to resume their seats as well. Martha and Elizabeth were gossiping about some woman their mother's had wrote about. Cicely picked at her dress. Pippa waited on Felicity because she could sense the plan forming in her friend's mind.

"I have a plan," Felicity announced when everyone was comfortable. "I will need all of your help though."

"A plan to embarrass that Gemma girl?" Cicely asked, her eyes dancing with hope.

"Cicely, my plan is even better then that," Felicity replied with the same eager grin. "We are finally going to rid of Ann Bradshaw for good." The girls in the tent squealed in delight—all except Pippa.

"That's hardly fair, Fee," she whispered.

"Don't worry so much, Pip. I've got it all under control." Felicity was confidant that Gemma would stand up for Ann when the plan was enacted. She intended to test her. If Gemma could defend Ann successfully, Felicity was willing to give her a chance to prove herself. "The plan is simple really," Felicity began. "Pip, I need to you go convince Ann to come in here. Do not, under any circumstance, invite Gemma. Anyway, tell Ann about the chocolates and that we are sorry."

"What if she won't come?" Pippa asked.

"Then turn on some of the charm I know you have. It shouldn't be hard." Felicity made eye contact with Pippa and nodded once in encouragement. She knew Pippa would do anything for her with a little prodding. "Anyway, once she is in here, we need to make small talk with her. I want everyone to be as polite as possible. Once she is comfortable, we will have her trapped."

"What are we going to do?" Cicely shrieked.

"It's not polite to interrupt," Felicity growled. "Martha, you're job is to drop this into Ann's basket." Felicity tugged the blue sapphire ring her father gave her off her thin finger. "From there just follow my lead."

"You're brilliant!" Elizabeth squawked.

"And terrible," Pippa added with a grin. "When should I go?"

"Now." Pippa pulled back the scarves that blocked the entrance and slid out. Cicely and the others were laughing heartily, but Felicity was stern and focused. "Shut up, will you?" she commanded when their giggles grew too loud. Cicely shot Felicity an unnoticed glare and quieted herself obediently.

Felicity was enthralled with how well Pippa's beauty worked in a situation like the one they were in. Ann was putty in the capable hands of the brunette. Gemma showed no interest in the goings-on of the tent. Soon enough, Ann was seated between Felicity and Pippa in their private hut.

"Chocolate, Ann?" Felicity offered with her most sincere smile. Ann hesitated, but reached for one nevertheless. "I wanted to apologize to you first hand for my behavior earlier."

"It's ok," Ann replied with a ripe grin full of joy. "I forgive you."

"How very Christian of you," Cicely remarked under her breath. Her sarcasm was enough to anger Felicity.

"Cicely, would you like to leave my tent?"

"Excuse me?"

"If you can't be civil to my friends, then I want you to leave." Cicely ducked her head down and suffered the embarrassment of being singled out by Felicity. No one ever wanted to be in that place. "Now, apologize to Ann." Felicity's tone was severe. She meant every word.

"I'm sorry, Ann," Cicely mumbled.

"I forgive you," Ann said with a shy smile. Felicity couldn't help but internally gag at her weakness. With a sigh, Felicity made eye contact with Martha. While Ann was distracted by the silence, Martha dropped the ring in the purse. Felicity's trap had been set.

Felicity only wasted a few more minutes making small talk with Ann before the accusations began. "My ring!" she exclaimed suddenly. "My ring is gone!"

"You were wearing it earlier," Pippa exclaimed, catching on quickly.

"My ring!" Felicity screeched loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. "What have you done with my ring?" Her stare was deadly. Ann backed out of the tent slowly, her body trembling. Felicity felt a pang of guilt, but continued her mission. "Where is it? Tell me this instant!"

"I d-d-don't have it. I d-d-didn't do anything."

"You d-d-didn't? Why d-d-don't I believe you? I invite you to sit with us and this is how you repay my kindness? By stealing the ring my father gave to me? I should have expected something like that from a girl like you." Felicity knew she was being hateful. But she also knew that she had to be convincing.

"What's going on?" Miss. Moore asked as she swept through the room.

"Oh, Miss. Moore! Ann has stolen Felicity's sapphire ring," Pippa exclaims at the perfect moment.

"I had it earlier," Felicity announced with shock in her eyes. "And noticed it missing just after she came in."

Felicity waited for Miss. Moore's response. She liked Miss. Moore because she seemed different than the other teachers. More than anything, Felicity longed for Miss. Moore to be sympathetic to Ann. She needed a chance to open up for Gemma to step in. Just as she expected, Miss Moore asked everyone to look around for the ring.

"It's not here," Cicely announced after digging for a minute.

Felicity saw Miss Moore's face soften and knew that she was hoping the accusations were wrong. "Miss Bradshaw, did you take the ring? If you admit it, the penalty will be less severe."

"N-n-no, mum. I d-d-didn't take it."

"That's what happens when you let her class into a school like Spence. We'll all be victims of her jealousy."

"That will be quite enough, Miss Worthington."

Felicity exerted her need to be in power when Miss Moore reprimanded her. She wanted to win this little battle with the art teacher. "That ring was given to me by my father for my sixteenth birthday. I'm sure he would be most unhappy to hear that it had come to be stolen and no one was doing anything about it." She hated using her father to get what she wanted, but sometimes it was a necessary evil. Just as she had predicted, Miss Moore asked Ann for her knitting basket.

Miss Moore pulled the ring out of the basket and frowned briefly. The expression did not go unnoted to Felicity. She saw the way Miss Moore had wanted Felicity to be wrong. "Well, Miss Bradshaw, what do you have to say for yourself?" Felicity couldn't help it. She glanced to Pippa and found her mirroring the same ripe grin. "We'd best go see Mrs. Nightwing."

Felicity knew what was coming next. When Gemma stood up and defended Ann, Felicity was ready. Gemma's story of what happened with the ring was clever, but Felicity was just as quick. "Why didn't she return it right away, then?" Felicity challenged as she stepped closer.

Gemma's story was too good. Felicity found herself staring angrily at this new girl who had made a debauchery of her in front of everyone. Ann confirmed the story which left Felicity in the position of the bad guy. She was astounded and angry. But mostly, Felicity felt admiration for Gemma. She had never been stood up to, much less beat at her own game.

"I'm glad that's settled, Miss…?"

"Doyle. Gemma Doyle."

"Well, Miss Gemma Doyle, it would seem that we are in your debt. I'm sure Miss Worthington would like to thank you both for retrieving her lost ring, wouldn't you?"

Felicity noticed the corners of Miss Moore's lips fighting to stay flat. "She could have come forward sooner and not frightened us all so," Felicity remarked coldly.

"Grace, charm and beauty, Miss Worthington," Miss Moore admonished with a finger wave that left Felicity seething. She did not like being treated like a child.

Felicity composed herself quickly and turned to Gemma. "It would seem that I am in your debt, Gemma."

"Not at all, Felicity."

For the second time that night, Felicity prepared to use her father as a means to an end. "This ring was a gift from my father, Admiral Worthington. Perhaps you've heard of him?"

"No, I can't say that I have," Gemma replied. Felicity knew she was lying, but still felt the need to redeem herself.

"He's very famous. He sends me all sorts of things from his travels. My mother runs a salon in Paris, and when Pippa and I are graduated, we're going to Paris, where Mama will have us outfitted by the finest couturiers in France. Perhaps we'll take you along as well." Felicity had not meant to say so much, but she couldn't help it. Something about Gemma unsettled her.

When Gemma did not enthusiastically respond, Felicity watched as her mouth started talking again. "It's going to be a wonderful season, though Pippa will probably get the lion's share of attention. You and I will simply have to be good sports about it."

"And Ann," Gemma said, surprising Felicity. She had never met someone so keen on including the help.

"Yes, and Ann, of course," Felicity played along. "Dear Ann." A quick kiss on Ann's cheek washed away any resentment Ann might have felt. Gemma didn't seem so easily persuaded. Felicity felt a little relief when the clock struck ten and Nightwing announced bed time. She needed a moment to figure out what to do.

Felicity racked her mind for a solution, but only came up with one. She knew she would have to allow Gemma into the group. But she also knew that she could taunt her a little more in the time being.

"Pip," Felicity said as they climbed the stairs, arm-in-arm. "Go distract Ann. I need to talk to Gemma." Pippa did not respond. She would always do what Felicity asked even if she didn't understand.

When Pippa had slowed Ann down, Felicity slid in beside Gemma. "I will have to think of a way to repay you for finding my ring tonight," Felicity whispered so quiet that only Gemma could hear. "We have a bit of a private club, Pippa, Cicely, Elizabeth, and I, but there might be room for you."

"Aren't I the lucky one? I'll rush right out and buy a new bonnet for the occasion."

Felicity was not pleased by Gemma's sarcasm. "There are girls who would give their eyeteeth to be in your position."

"Fine. Then ask them."

The anger in Felicity's stomach turned to rage. She had never been denied before. "See here, I'm offering you a chance to get on at Spence. To be part of something and have other girls look up to you. You might do well to think about it." Felicity kept her tone under control, but she wanted to deck Gemma for not caring at all.

"To be part of something the way you made Ann part of something tonight?" Gemma replied. Suddenly it made sense to Felicity. Gemma had a heart—the kind of heart that Felicity might have had if her life were more normal, if she had been better.

Felicity softened before her reply. "It's not that we don't want Ann involved. It's just that her life isn't going to be like ours. You think you're being so kind to her when you know very well that you can't be friends with her on the outside. It's much crueler to make her think otherwise, to lead her on." This was the most honest answer Felicity could offer.

"If I were interested in joining—which I'm not saying that I am—but if I were, what would I have to do?"

Felicity knew she had won. Like Ann, Gemma was now falling into her trap too. The only difference was that Felicity had no intentions of destroying Gemma. She actually really liked her. "Nothing yet. Don't worry—we'll come to you." And with that, Felicity lifted her skirts and ran off to her bedroom.

**Review? **


	23. Chapter 23

**Two for today even when I had a lot of homework. Your welcome readers. You can always repay me with reviews.**

"Should I even bother asking what you had to say to Gemma in private?" Pippa asked from behind her dressing screen. "Or are you going to shut me out of that information like you have been shutting me out about everything lately?"

The words were a slap on the face. Felicity had no desire to hurt Pippa, but was always managing to do just that. "How would you like to treat Gemma to the same initiation that the two of us received years back?"

Pippa's anger vanished into the air with this new news. She burst out from her dressing screen with her nightgown only pulled down enough to hide her breasts. Felicity's eyes noticed the small curve directly above Pippa's hip bones. Her face flushed briefly just as Pippa yanked her into a joyous hug.

"I hadn't realized you hated her this much," Felicity said with a laugh.

"I'm just happy that someone else has to experience what he had to."

"But you do hate her?"

"Hate might be a tad too strong a word," Pippa mused. "I'm indifferent to her existence." Felicity laughed because she knew that Gemma was anything but ignored. She was the talk of the school.

"Put your clothes back on and tell the others," Felicity said after a moment of silent thought.

"Should we tell Martha?"

"No." Pippa left the room as soon as she dressed. With Pippa gone, Felicity was left alone to plan. She needed to decide what to do about her group. She couldn't very well allow all of the girls to commune in her tent. She knew there wasn't enough space for that. Besides the room issue, Felicity was keenly aware that to be a leader, one must have adoring admirers. She was going to have to cut someone out of the group if Gemma managed to get the wine.

When Pippa returned the girls resumed their usual nighttime conversations about plans for Paris. Pippa absolutely adored when Felicity promised her that men would come to her by the barrel. Felicity, in turn, loved the conversations because it offered the girls hope. Felicity rarely felt a genuine hope for a better life because her scars were too deep. Pippa somehow healed those scars just by being her friend.

A few minutes before midnight, Felicity sent Pippa downstairs to wait. As Pippa wondered off toward the stairs, Felicity walked the opposite direction toward the boarder room on the floor. Outside Gemma's door the floor creaked loudly. Felicity waited briefly before opening the door and sneaking in.

The last thing Felicity wanted to happen was for Gemma to scream. Surely Brigid would come running if that were to happen. To avoid this prospect, Felicity stayed as far from the moonlight streaming in as possible. She tiptoed across the floor as quietly as possible. Just as she reached out to touch Gemma, the girl lurched up and smashed her head into the overhang above her bed.

Felicity muffled the sounds of Gemma's pain with one hand. "Do you want to wake the whole bloody school?" Felicity hissed as she leaned into the moonlight for Gemma's sake.

"What are you doing here?"

"I told you we'd come for you."

"You didn't say it would be in the middle of the bloody night."

Felicity grinned at Gemma's word choice. "Come on. I want to show you something."

"What?" Gemma jeered.

"Follow me and I'll show you."

"Come back in the morning."

Felicity considered turning and leaving Gemma's side forever. Something stopped her though. Somehow, Felicity sensed that Gemma would make a great improvement to her group. She needed her somehow. "I won't make this offer again," Felicity warned. "It's now or never."

"All right, then. I'm up. But this had better be good." Felicity's mischievous grin colored her face as she promised Gemma that it would be well worth her time. Gemma followed Felicity down the hallway and to the stairs without hesitation. Only when they reached the curving steps, did Gemma raise a concern about Nightwing. Felicity reassured her that they would not get caught and continued moving.

Pippa waited quietly at the bottom of the stairs. Small talk was made between the girls as they waited for Cicely and Elizabeth. The arrival of the final two resulted in a few scowls on Cicely's part. Felicity could not understand why Cicely was always so unpleasant.

The group went slowly up the hill toward the chapel and explained Gemma's task on the walk up. Elizabeth and Cicely had never done the initiation, but knew what it was because both Pippa and Felicity liked to tell their stories. Of course, Pippa never admitted that Felicity rescued her. Felicity didn't mind lying for her friend either. Besides that, neither Felicity nor Pippa admitted that they were required to steal wine. They were always sworn to secrecy by Minnie. Their story was that they were locked in the church for the night.

When Felicity announced that Gemma was to steal the wine, the group erupted in nervous laughter. Even Cicely was hesitant about the idea. Felicity, always the leader, got her way. With the help of Pippa, she thrust Gemma into the church and closed the door behind her. Cicely and Elizabeth giggled in the same nervous tones as before. Pippa smiled wide at Felicity's pale exterior that glowed in the moonlight.

"Now what?" Cicely asked in between giggles.

"We leave," Felicity answered. She turned on her heel and started back toward the school.

"What about Gemma?" Elizabeth posed as she tried to catch up with Felicity. Pippa was already linked to Felicity's sturdy arm.

"She can find her way back."

"At night?" Elizabeth continued. She was nervous.

"We did it," Pippa shot back.

"Elizabeth, do be quiet," Cicely said as she joined the group. "That dreadful oaf deserves to wander back on her own. You saw the way she defended Ann today." Elizabeth nodded in agreement, but glanced back once.

Felicity led her friends back into the school and up the stairs. Once safely back in the safety of her room, she began to laugh heartily. "What's so funny?" Pippa exclaimed with a smile too.

"I don't know what the best part of tonight was," Felicity admitted. "Cicely's shock at sacrilege or Gemma's terror at entering the church."

Pippa began to laugh too. Soon the pair were doubled over and worn out. Felicity's stomach ached and her jaw throbbed. She was exhausted. Pippa hid behind her dressing screen as she stripped down. Felicity changed in the open, which was nothing new. She was not nervous. When both girls were outfitted in their loose nightgowns, they slid into their respective beds and slept soundly.


	24. Chapter 24

**First off, I don't speak French. The French I use in this chapter is from an online translator. If someone does speak French and sees something wrong with it, feel free to correct me. I apologize in advance if I butchered it. Secondly, thanks for bearing with me this long. I think it's great that people are still reading.**

The following morning was a bright and beautiful one. Felicity woke feeling particularly good. She sat up and stretched before standing. As she tucked the corners of her sheets back where they belonged, she stole a quick glance at her still sleeping friend.

The sheet was pulled awkwardly over Pippa so that one leg stuck out from its coverage. Felicity noted the way the sheet coiled around her friend's pale, perfect body. Pippa's hair was in disarray; yet, it was still beautiful all the same. She was angel. The sunbeams illuminated her soft cheek just enough to make her truly glow. Felicity gulped down whatever strange fluttering sensation was in her stomach.

Once her bed was smoothed down, Felicity began to dress for the day. She tugged her nightgown up over her head and dropped it on the cold floor. She then proceeded to adjust her chemise and tie her corset. Like so many mornings before, Felicity prepared to wake Pippa for help. When she turned around, she found that Pippa's violet eyes were already wide-open and staring.

"Good morning, Pip. Did you sleep well?" Felicity asked cheerfully.

"Splendidly," she replied as she rubbed her still-tired eyes. With a sigh, Pippa pulled herself up from the covers and stood before her friend. "Turn around," she commanded gently.

Felicity did as she was told. With her arms braced against the wall, Felicity awaited the pain that was to come. Pippa pulled hard at the strings, but not too hard. Many years of tying each others' corsets had taught them exactly the right amount of tug the other preferred. When Pippa had finished, Felicity sat down at her desk and began trying to tame her white-blonde locks.

Pippa slid behind her dressing screen and only emerged when it was time for Felicity to repay the favor. Felicity stood, her hair still not calm enough to pull into a bun, and paced the floor to Pippa's side. She couldn't help herself. Her hand reached out instinctively and brushed gently across the smooth skin on Pippa's exposed back. Pippa tensed the tiniest bit, but did not object to the touch.

"Does that feel good?" Felicity whispered, almost too scared to know the answer. She did not understand why she was doing this. She was scared to know that answer.

"Yes," Pippa replied honestly. "More than it should." And that was enough to frighten Felicity enough to stop. She removed her fingertips and began tying the strings without another word. Both girls were confused by what had happened.

Breakfast was a quiet one. Cicely and Elizabeth seemed too tired to function. Felicity was still brooding over the encounter she and Pippa had. And Pippa was following Felicity's lead. Martha attempted to make conversation, but was quickly shut down.

When breakfast had ended, Felicity returned to her room to grab the books she would need for the day. Pippa was already seated at her desk, rummaging through a drawer for something. "Did you see that Gemma wasn't at breakfast?"

"I noticed," Felicity replied.

"Maybe she is still in the chapel."

"Ann looked at ease. Nightwing would already know if Gemma had not returned last night."

"So, you think she overslept?" Pippa asked, sounding a little more disappointed than she should have.

"I would presume so." Just then, Pippa found her book. "Ready?" Pippa nodded once. Her eyes met briefly with Felicity's, but pulled away quickly. Felicity bit her lip before exiting the room with Pippa on her heels. She wondered silently why her stomach was in knots.

Once in the French classroom, Felicity took her usual seat in the back of the room. Pippa sat down on her right—the place where Pippa always was whenever they were seated. Cicely, Martha, Elizabeth, and Ann were already seated when they arrived. Felicity waited patiently for the arrival of Gemma.

When Gemma entered the room, Felicity stuck her foot out and blocked her way. "Sleep well?" she taunted.

"Quite," Gemma answered with mock-cheer.

"However did you manage it? Getting out, I mean?" Cicely posed.

"I have hidden powers."

"I have hidden powers," Martha mocked in an attempt to be part of the group. Felicity shot Martha her favorite get-out-of-my-face looks and readied herself for some bitter reply.

Her annoyed glare was interrupted when Gemma said, "By the way, I did secure the object you requested."

Felicity's head snapped back toward Gemma. "Really? Where do you have it hidden?" she asked, doubting the girl, but hoping it was true.

"Oh, I didn't think it was wise to hide it. Might not be able to find it again," Gemma replied cheerfully. Felicity focused her gaze and waited to hear the rest. "It's sitting in plain view on your chair in the great hall. I do hope that was the best place for it."

Felicity felt her mouth drop to the floor. Someone she managed to refrain from cursing out loud, but in the safe-haven of her mind, Felicity was unleashing all of the words she was never to say in public. Gemma kicked Felicity's still foot out of the way before finding her own seat. Felicity was still in shock. She told herself to get it together before Mademoiselle LeFarge showed up and asked.

"What are you going to do?" Pippa whispered. Her voice was husky and small due to excessive fear.

"I'm going to go get it," Felicity responded as confidently as she could.

"What if someone finds it?" Cicely asked as she imagined a slew of terrible outcomes that would result. Before Felicity could answer, Mademoiselle LeFarge swept through the room in her usual cheerful manner.

Felicity tried her best to focus on the lesson, but her mind was elsewhere. She did hear enough to find great amusement in Gemma's obvious embarrassment in front of the class. When her laughter increased to a volume that Mademoiselle LeFarge thought offensive, she was singled out as well.

"Mademoiselle Worthington, trouvez-vous quelque chose que j'ai dit d'être drôle?"

"Naturellement pas, Mademoiselle. J'ai seulement des mots aimables pour une femme de votre excellence," Felicity replied, exercising her brilliant French. LeFarge seemed content with Felicity's answer and moved on from the subject. Felicity picked at the loose strings on her skirt in an attempt to distract herself from the realization that she might be in huge trouble very soon.

Class dragged on for what seemed like ever before Mademoiselle LeFarge finally dismissed. Felicity snatched up her books and prepared to sprint out of the cluttered room. "Mademoiselle Felicity! There's no need to hurry!" LeFarge reprimanded.

"Pardon, Mademoiselle LeFarge," Felicity responded. "I've just remembered that I need to retrieve something important before my next class." She slowed her pace until she was clearly out of sight and then took off running full speed.

In the great hall, Felicity found the glass bottle exactly where Gemma had promised it would be. No one was in sight so Felicity tucked it as best as she could between her books and right hip. She decided that running to her room would result in more suspicion if she were caught, so she sauntered slowly toward her room.

The walk seemed to take forever. Just as she rounded the corner of the hallway her room was in, Brigid popped out from what seemed to be thin air. Felicity took a deep breath and walked as inconspicuously as possible toward her door.

"Miss Worthington, what are you doin' in these parts? Don't you 'ave class?" Brigid asked when Felicity was only as few steps from the safety of her bedroom.

"I forgot a book," Felicity mumbled as she took those last three steps.

"What you 'ave there? Under that book?"

Felicity felt her whole body go tense. For the first time in her life she thought she was genuinely going to be in trouble. Her mind was a blank slate. No lies seemed good enough. Suddenly, a scream broke the silence. Brigid looked toward the sound and back at Felicity. Curiosity and worry got the better of her. Brigid hurried toward the sound. Felicity slipped into her room and tucked the glass bottle in one of her trunks inside the wardrobe.

Felicity was much too clever to get caught again. Before leaving her room, she scooped up another book that was in her stack. At the top of the stairs, Pippa sat with tears running down her perfect cheeks. Felicity ran over to her as soon as she saw who it was. Brigid was looking over her petite ankle.

"Nothing seems to be 'rong 'ere," Brigid commented.

Pippa, having noticed that Felicity had made it, wiped the tears from her eyes. "It doesn't hurt anymore. Thank you, Brigid." She stood up without any trouble at all.

"Take it easy up these stairs 'ere next time. No need to 'urry up," Brigid reprimanded. "Take it easy girls and go to class."

Felicity picked up the books Pippa had dropped and carried them down the stairs behind Pippa. "Did you really fall?" Felicity asked when they were out of hearing range. She suspected that it was a hoax, but needed to be sure.

"Of course not," Pippa replied. "I was coming to see that you made it back safely when I heard Brigid ask what you were hiding. I assumed it was the bottle, so I did what I had to do."

Felicity had never been so grateful for Pippa's friendship. "It seems I am in your debt," Felicity said honestly.

"No," Pippa responded. "I know you would do the same for me. That's what friends are for, right?"

Felicity's grin was enough to make Pip smile too. The pair pulled each other into a quick, friendly embrace before hurrying off to music class.

**Reviews are rad.**


	25. Chapter 25

**I have no idea how I am getting this all done, but I am. A great way to show your appreciation for me hurrying up and writing is by reviewing. **

Felicity knew she had put Ithal off too long. It had been a week since she last visited him at the boathouse. She couldn't avoid him any longer. She needed to go and tell him the truth. And the truth was simple really: she couldn't be with him because he was a Gypsy and she was a lady. At least, that is the truth Felicity kept repeating in her head as she stole away from Pippa's claustrophobic grip.

Felicity walked quickly through the thick trees until she reached the small clearing before the lake. Ithal was already leaned up against the far side of the small building. When he saw her, he stood up straighter and nodded. His face betrayed the cool reserve he was trying to keep. He was angry.

"Ithal," Felicity began when she was near. "Sorry it has been so long."

"Why didn't you come?" he asked, obviously hurt. "I almost came for you."

"You know that wouldn't have been a good idea."

"You're embarrassed to be seen with me." It was not a question. Ithal knew it was true.

"I'm not embarrassed," Felicity responded honestly. "I cannot be with you. Not out there."

"Then we will be together in secret. I will take you away." Felicity could not resist the laugh forming in her throat. Ithal always had a way of giving her what she needed at the moment. And on this day, Felicity needed more than anything to prove to herself that she could love a man—that what she was feeling for Pippa was a normal feeling that all girls have for their closest friend.

"Where will we go?" she asked, humoring him.

"Anywhere. Everywhere." Ithal's big hand slid up Felicity's slender back. "I can take you home to meet my family. And we can meet yours." Felicity couldn't hold in the hearty laugh this time. She knew he would never meet her family.

"I will marry you," he added, causing another giggle to escape Felicity's open mouth. "And I will consummate the marriage in a real bed." His hands began to trace small circles over the exposed skin on Felicity's neck. With a push, Ithal had Felicity pinned against the wall of the boathouse. "Not that I object to doing it now, against this wall."

Felicity longed desperately to feel something other than disgust at these words. She violently forced her lips onto his. She kissed with everything she had, but felt nothing. There wasn't a tightening of the stomach, or even a fluttering inside her core. She was numb and devoid of all passion.

The kiss was interrupted when Gemma burst out from a bush. Felicity pushed Ithal away from her and screamed in genuine fear. Gemma answered with a scream of her own. For a reason Felicity later wondered about, Felicity shrieked a second time.

"What…what are you doing here?" Felicity gasped when she realized who it was.

"I might ask you the same question," Gemma replied. Felicity suddenly realized that she could no longer outcast Gemma even though she was still angry about the wine. Gemma knew one of her secrets and as a result, was now a dear friend.

Felicity listened as Ithal introduced himself. "Don't tell her anything," she snapped. The last thing she needed was him telling Gemma everything they had done out here in the past.

Fear rocked through Felicity's body when she heard Mrs. Nightwing's voice approaching. "Dear God, she can't find us."

"Bater. Let them find us. I am not liking this hiding." Felicity considered her options quickly. She wanted to kick Ithal in the tenderest of places for his stupidity. "Stop it! Are you mad? I can't be found with you. You've got to go back."

"Come with me," Ithal commanded with a tug on her arm. Felicity held her place. "Don't you understand? I can't go with you."

Seeing no way to get rid of him on her own, she turned toward the still shocked Gemma. "You have to help me."

"Is this a request from the girl who locked me in the chapel last night?" Felicity felt a pang in her gut. This was not the time to hold a vendetta.

Ithal wrapped his arm around Felicity only to be pushed away. "I didn't mean anything by last night. It was just a laugh, that's all. Please Gemma. I'll give you whatever you want. My pen set. My gloves. My sapphire ring!" Felicity pulled at the ring, but was stopped by Gemma's own hand.

"You'll be in my debt," Gemma said sternly.

"Understood." Before Felicity could understand what was happening, Gemma shoved her hard toward the lake. "What are you doing?"

"Saving you." The words were cut off by the cold water pulling Felicity under. She stood up and shook her head. Water dripped out of her ears and she spit a lot out of her mouth. When she opened her eyes Ithal was gone.

"Here, take my hand," Gemma said. Felicity felt herself being helped out of the lake.

"What did you do that for?" Felicity shrieked when she was back on land.

"What's going on here?" Mrs. Nightwing asked frantically as she appeared out of the cover of trees. "What was all the screaming about?"

"Oh, Mrs. Nightwing! Felicity and I decided to take the boat out on the lake and she fell in quite by accident. It was terrible foolish of us and we're dreadfully sorry to have frightened everyone." Gemma's explanation stunned Felicity into silence. She was in awe because it seemed she had finally met her match. A sneeze scattered Felicity's overwhelmed thoughts.

"Miss Doyle, put your cape around Miss Worthington before she catches her death. We shall all go back to the school. This is not a suitable place for young ladies. There are sometimes Gypsies in the woods. I shudder to think what might have happened."

Felicity glanced up to see numerous heads poking out from the woods. Almost every Spence girl followed Nightwing out to see first-hand what had happened. For some reason, Felicity was amused. She nudged Gemma in the ribs lightly before humoring Mrs. Nightwing. "Yes. That's a sobering thought indeed, Mrs. Nightwing. I'm sure we're both grateful for your good advice."

Yes, well, see that you're careful in the future." Mrs. Nightwing admonished. When she had turned back toward all the watching girls, she added, "All right girls, back to the school. There's still daylight and work to be done."

As the girls dispensed, Gemma tossed her cape over Felicity's soaking wet body. "That was a bit melodramatic, wasn't it? 'We're both grateful for your good advice'?" Gemma mocked.

"It worked didn't it?" Felicity snapped back. Softening her tone, she continued, "If you tell them what they want to hear, they don't bother to try and see." Before Felicity could continue, Pippa appeared. "Good heavens, what really happened?" she exclaimed, breathless. "You must tell me before I die of curiosity!"

Felicity noticed Ann's appearance at the scene, but did nothing to show her observation. "It's just as Gemma said," she lied. "I fell in the water and she pulled me out."

Felicity watched Pippa's smile disappear. "That's it?" she asked.

"Yes, that is all." Felicity felt terrible for lying to Pippa again. She was always disappointing the one person she really cared for.

"There's nothing more?" Pippa was prodding for information.

"Isn't it enough that I nearly drowned today?" Felicity immediately regretted her words. There was no way to ignore the effect those simple words had on her friend. Pippa looked as if she had just been kicked by a horse.

"What were you doing with _her_?" she whispered in an attempt to regain the lost affections.

Felicity scoffed at her friend. Even with all the love she felt for Pippa, Felicity could not deny that the girl was childish and annoying sometimes. "I do believe that one headmistress is enough," she chided. "Really, your imagination is so brilliant you should put it to use as a novelist someday." Felicity turned from the disheveled brunette and said curtly, "Gemma, walk with me."

Felicity looped her arm in Gemma's and pushed past Pippa. It was rude, but she was not happy with Pippa's attitude. Even the closest of friends sometimes need a break. Felicity was ready for that break. "Sometimes she is such a child," Felicity stated when they were out of hearing range.

"I thought you were the best of friends." Gemma's tone was icy and sarcastic.

"I adore Pippa. Really. But she's very sheltered. There are things I could never tell her. Like Ithal. But you understand. I can tell that you do. I think we're going to be great friends, Gemma." Every word out of Felicity's mouth was true.

"Would we still be great friends if I didn't hold a secret over your head?"

Felicity considered the question. After a moment's thought she realized that she had no answer. She knew full well that she might not ever have given Gemma the chance if it weren't for what she had seen. "Don't friends always share secrets?" Felicity asked to change the subject.

Up ahead, Miss Moore called for the girls to not dawdle.

"Dawdle? I can barely breathe from trudging up this hill at a gallop!" Felicity sniffled in hopes of dropping the conversation altogether. It worked.

"How long has Miss Moore worked at Spence?" Gemma asked.

"She arrived this past summer. She's a breath of fresh air in this staid old place, I can tell you that." Felicity did not bother mentioning that Miss Moore seemed to have a personal vendetta against her. She slid her icy hands into the pocket of Gemma's cloak and pulled out a muddy piece of clothe. "Oh, what's this?"

"What's what?"

"This remnant in your bodice. Bit torn. Ugh, and muddy. If you need a proper handkerchief, you only have to ask. I've got scads of them." Felicity handed the disgusting clothe to Gemma. Suddenly, Gemma's face paled and her body almost gave out. "What's the matter?" Felicity asked, concerned.

"Nothing."

"It's as if you've seen a ghost," Felicity mused. She gave Gemma a moment to breathe. The color returned to her face little-by-little. When most had returned, Felicity pulled on Gemma's hand. "Don't be so slow," she commanded.

"I'm coming," Gemma promised. The two hurried back to Spence.


	26. Chapter 26

**So this one is really short, but needed. **

Felicity did not even try to make amends with Pippa. She assumed the fight would blow over in time. For the time being, Felicity wanted to focus on gaining the trust of Gemma. Gemma was the first person she had longed to be real friends with since Pippa. Felicity knew that she now had to prove herself if Gemma were ever to see her as more than someone to fear.

An idea was forming in Felicity's mind as she undressed for bed later that night. Pippa was giving Felicity the cold shoulder in hopes of drawing out guilt. It was not working.

Felicity decided that she wanted to form a club at Spence. In order to do so, she would need to convince the girls to meet up sometime at night in a secret place. Suddenly, a brilliant idea seized Felicity's attention. She leaped up from her desk and threw open the doors to her wardrobe. With a tug she pulled the wine out of its hiding place.

Felicity carried the glass bottle into the light and read the label. She felt her mouth drop open when she read the label. Pulling to cork, Felicity allowed the scent to permeate her pores. The smell alone confirmed that it was not mislabeled.

"What are you doing?" Pippa asked, breaking the silence.

"Planning." Felicity returned the cork into its rightful spot and placed the bottle back in the trunk.

"Do you care to explain?"

"No."

"Fine," Pippa groaned, defeated. "I'm going to bed if you aren't going to be civil."

"Goodnight," Felicity replied coldly. She was not ready to give in yet. With a defiant sigh, Felicity blew out her candle and crawled into bed. She knew that tomorrow was a new day and she could repair things then.


	27. Chapter 27

**Here is a very long one. It took me most of the day so don't expect any more tonight. Reviews would be epic at this point.**

The following day Felicity chewed on the idea forming in her head all morning. She still hadn't made up with Pippa so she had a lot of quiet time to think things through. The only problem with her master plan was that she could not think of a safe place for the club to meet.

By the time art rolled around, Felicity had all but given up on her pipe dream. That is, until Miss Moore made good on her promise and took the girls to the caves. It was in these dark, musty holes that Felicity found a place to truly live. She did not take lightly the story of The Lady of Shalott. She intended to paddle through life.

Felicity was pleased to see that Gemma was just as interested in the primitive drawings on the cave walls as she was. More and more, Gemma was proving herself to be an asset in Felicity's life. She was relatable and a breath of fresh air. Felicity found herself longing to win the still-hesitant Gemma over.

Her opportunity arose when Cicely and Elizabeth refused to allow Ann to join the club. Ann was Gemma's one condition. Though Felicity would rather not include the chubby scholarship student, she saw that sometimes sacrifices must be made to get what one really wants. Therefore, she said goodbye to Cicely and Elizabeth without even a moment's regret.

In that short time, she also managed to end her relationship with Ithal for once and for all. Felicity did not bother to even look back after stomping on both his flower and heart. She was convincing and cruel. But, like most things Felicity did, her malice was appropriate in her own mind.

Later that evening Felicity decided she needed to finally work through the issues she had with Pippa. She was not willing to apologize, but she would be charming enough to persuade her friend. Just as Felicity suspected, it only took a moments attention to soften Pippa's heart enough to sway her decisions.

"But what about Cicely and Elizabeth?" Pippa asked when Felicity had told her who all was going. "And why is Ann invited?"

"Cicely has gotten on my nerves too much lately. She and Elizabeth need to learn a lesson about how they treat me and my friends." A frown appeared on Pippa's red lips when she realized the Felicity meant Gemma instead of herself. "And I am sick of treating Ann like a criminal or pervert or something. Gemma says she is a lovely girl." Gemma had said no such thing, but Felicity couldn't very well tell Pippa that she owed Gemma a favor.

"So, we are going to the caves? At midnight?" Pippa asked, changing the subject.

"Are you scared?"

"Of course not," Pippa answered unconvincingly. "I just wonder about the Gypsies."

"They'll leave us alone as long as we don't bother them."

"How can you be sure?"

"I just am!" Felicity snapped back. Pippa scoffed openly and left to talk with Cicely and the others. Felicity decided to retire early to her room. The hours of waiting were enough to unsettle even the hardest of nerves. Pippa's constant complaints didn't help Felicity relax either. Just before midnight, Felicity found the bottle of whiskey and hid it tightly in her bag.

The group of four met at the bottom of the stairs and made their way into the cold night. Pippa's complaints did not end until the four were all seated comfortably in the cave. Felicity was overeager to get started with the alcohol. When Pippa reached for the apple Ann had offered, Felicity incepted it. "Not yet. We have to do this properly. With a toast."

Felicity reached into her bag and pulled the heavy bottle out. As soon as Pippa realized what she had, she leaped into Felicity's sturdy arms. "Oh, Fee, you're brilliant!"

"Yes, I am rather, aren't I?"

"What's that?" Ann asked as she leaned forward to get a closer look.

"Cod-liver oil," Felicity said sarcastically. "What do you think it is?"

The color faded from Ann's face when she realized exactly what she had managed to get into. "It's not spirits, is it?" Her voice was meek and scared.

"Heavens, no!" Pippa mocked. She was still giggling with excitement. Felicity glanced at Gemma to see her reaction. She looked to be rather amused at Ann's reaction.

"Ladies don't drink spirits," Ann suddenly intoned sounding just like Mrs. Nightwing. The girls couldn't help themselves. They all fell back laughing, their giggles echoing through the cave like a chorus of chirping birds. Ann, realizing she finally said something right, repeated herself a few more times only to be reprimanded by an annoyed Felicity.

"Mrs. Nightwing never misses her sherry at night. Oh, they're all such hypocrites," Pippa remarked bitterly. "Cheers." Felicity watched as Pippa pulled the bottle to her lips. She looked a little surprised having realized that the contents inside were not wine, but she didn't object. When Pippa was done with her serving, she passed it to Ann.

Ann hesitated, looking terrified. "Go on, then, it won't bite you," Felicity encouraged.

"I've never had a drink before," Ann confessed.

"Really? I'm shocked," Pippa mocked. Felicity watched Gemma's eyes narrow and wondered if she would ever be able to make Pippa and Gemma get along.

Ann, too scared to drink, tried to hand the bottle back to Felicity. She was having none of that though. If Ann was going to be there, Felicity was going to make sure she did everything they did. "It's not a request," she began. "Drink or you're out of the club. You can make your way back to Spence by yourself."

"Let her alone, Felicity," Gemma stated from her corner of the cave. Felicity realized she was going to have to get used to someone just as strong-willed as herself.

"You're the one who wanted her to come—not us. No more favors. If she wants in, she has to drink. The same goes for you."

Gemma did not even hesitate. "Fine, then. Hand it over." Ann, glad to be rid of the bottle, placed it in Gemma's waiting hands.

"And no spitting it back in," Felicity taunted. Gemma lifted the bottle to her lips and took a hefty sized swig. Immediately she began to cough and sputter about. Felicity chuckled and exclaimed, "Ah, the vine of life."

"What is this?" Gemma croaked.

"Whiskey. You accidentally took Reverend Waite's private collection." Gemma scowled once before passing the bottle to Ann. This time Ann took a drink like a good girl. Felicity then snatched the bottle away and took her own large gulp. It burned her throat on the way down, but once it had settled in her stomach, she felt warm and relaxed.

The bottle went around another four times. With each new dose, Felicity felt her body slide further and further into oblivion. She was floating around a cruel world, but untouched by the brutality. She knew that somewhere out there evil existed. Somewhere out there her dad floated away on a ship. Felicity wondered if they felt the same. She pondered the idea that out on the open seas he was floating along without a care in the world too.

Her thoughts broke when she glanced toward her friends. Pippa was smiling—her teeth pearly white against the darkness behind her. Ann looked as if she wanted to throw up. When Felicity made it to Gemma, she was shocked to see the girl's face soaked in tears. "Gemma? Are you alright?" she asked, sitting up too quickly. Felicity's head spun around a few times before settling back into normal position.

"It's nothing," Gemma responded as she wiped at her tear stained face.

"Don't tell me you're going to be one of those maudlin drunks," Felicity joked. It only caused a new batch of tears to burst forth. "No more for you, then." She said as she placed the bottle behind a rock. The last thing she needed was for Gemma to ruin the fun with her sobbing. "Here, have something to eat." Gemma took the apple without hesitation. "This party is getting very dull. Who's got a clever idea for us?"

"If this is a club," Pippa began. "Shouldn't we have a proper name?"

"How about the Young Ladies of Spence?" Ann suggested.

Felicity scowled at the terrible proposal. "Makes us sound like spinsters with bad teeth." The words came out without Felicity's approval. She made a mental note to be more careful or else she might say something bad.

"It was just my first thought!" Ann snapped.

"Don't get prickly on us," Felicity shot back. "Here, have another go," Felicity commanded in hopes of relaxing Ann more. She didn't want the scholarship student yelling at her all night.

"I know!" Pippa suddenly exclaimed. "Let's call ourselves the Ladies of Shalott!"

"Does that mean we are all going to die?" Gemma asked between a fit of giggles. Her laughter was contagious. Soon all the girls were giggling uncontrollably. They threw out the first names they could think of. Each new idea was more ridiculous than the last.

When the laughter died back down, Gemma's voice arouse out of the quiet. "Why not call ourselves the Order?"

Felicity's body reacted too quickly for her mind to catch up. She was suddenly sitting upright with a crooked smile etched on her pale cheeks. "How absolutely perfect! Gemma, you are a genius!" Felicity's lips were not the only thing loose that night. She suddenly had an overwhelming urge to kiss Gemma.

Felicity tried to restrain herself by biting into the still uneaten apple in Gemma's hands, but the sweet juices only made the urge deepen. Without hesitation, Felicity felt her body lean forward. Her lips smashed against Gemma's with more force than necessary. Felicity's tongue reached out and sampled Gemma's lower lip before her mind could send out the red flags. Felicity pulled away urgently and searched for a cover.

With Gemma's arm raised with her own, Felicity announced, "Ladies, I give you the Order, reborn!" Felicity was pleased with the way the evening was going. She was giddy and childish under the influence of the alcohol. Even Ann was no longer an annoyance to her.

When Gemma pulled out the diary of Mary Dowd, Felicity's senses perked. She wanted to know as much as she could about these two girls even if it was all just a fairy tale. The more the girls read, the more Felicity longed for it to be true. She needed an escape and this imaginary world seemed to be her way out. Felicity knew it was childish to believe the stories, but she tucked them deep down in her heart for safe-keeping.

Felicity's good mood was only broke when Gemma, in her ignorance, made a comment about Felicity's family. For a reason she would never understand, Felicity was easily angered when people passed judgment on her family. The alcohol only made her more upset about the situation. She was grateful when Pippa changed the subject.

Pippa began to complain about the way her mother treated her. Felicity felt a pang because she had seen this behavior first-hand. She could not understand why Mrs. Cross would ever try and change her daughter. Pippa was perfect in every way. No man would have the audacity to turn her down.

Felicity's thoughts scattered when Gemma asked who Mr. Bumble was. "Pippa's paramour," Felicity announced.

"He is _not_ my paramour," Pippa screeched.

"No, but he wants to be. Why else would he keep paying his visits?" Felicity knew that the smart decision would be to tell Pippa what she wanted to hear. But, Felicity just couldn't. She didn't want to delude her friend further.

"He must be fifty if he's a day!"

"And very rich or your mother wouldn't be throwing him at you."

"Mother lives for money," Pippa sighed. "She doesn't like the way Father gambles. She's afraid he's going to lose all our money. That's why she's so desperate to marry me off to a wealthy man." Felicity already knew all of this.

"She'll probably find you someone with a clubfoot and twelve children, all older than you are." Felicity laughed, but knew she was being cruel.

"You should see some of the men she's paraded in front of me. One was four feet tall."

"You can't be serious!" Gemma blurted. Her words slurred together into one long one.

"Well, he might have been five feet." Pippa's laugh rung in Felicity's ears. Her body went frigid as she tried to keep herself from making a huge mistake. "Another time, she introduced me to a man who kept pinching my bottom when we were dancing. Can you imagine? 'Oh, lovely waltz.' Pinch, pinch. 'Shall we have some punch?' Pinch, pinch. I was bruised for a week."

Felicity joined in the rambunctious giggles that everyone else was slaves to. Her laughter seemed to pore out from her on its own accord. Everything felt right for this one moment. Felicity hoped it would never end.

But the laughter did die down. A breeze wafted into the cave causing Felicity to shiver. Pippa's tone is deadly, cold. "Ann, Gemma. You don't have to worry about such things as impossible mothers trying to control your every waking moment. How lucky you."

Felicity glanced over to see that both Ann and Gemma wore saddened expressions. Her foot reached out and kicked Pippa's leg hard enough to leave a bruise. "Well, that wasn't very nice, was it?" Pippa croaked.

"Don't be so touchy," Felicity remarked with her eyes locked on Gemma's. She was embarrassed by Pippa's rude behavior.

"How revolting!" Ann abruptly shouted. Her hands held a loose page that came out of the journal.

"What is it?" Pippa shouted as she ran over to Ann's stunned body. Felicity and Gemma leaned in close to see the picture as well. Felicity ran her eyes over the picture of a man and woman interlocked in a passionate moment. It was nothing new to her. She had come across pictures like this in her studies back in Paris. What disturbed Felicity was the title: _The Rites of Spring by Sarah Rees-Toome_.

"Methinks he's already sprung," Gemma said, giggling like a child.

"What are they doing?" Ann asked as she turned her head away from the picture.

"She's lying back and thinking of England!" Pippa shrieked with a smile big enough to send every man in the world out buying diamonds and gems. Felicity pictured her times with her father. Even though she could not know for sure what she looked like when those nights occurred, Felicity did know that she never looked like the girl in the picture. Even with Simon, Felicity had not felt whatever it was the pictured woman felt.

"Ann, don't tell me you don't know what men and women do when they're together. Shall I show you?" The drunken boldness was returning quickly. Felicity crawled seductively across the cave to Ann's shaking body.

"No, thank you," Ann whispered. Felicity looked into her plain eyes for one long second before licking the full of Ann's cheek in one long slide. Horrified, Ann rubbed her cheek as hard as she could. Felicity began to laugh as she returned to her spot. She stretched once and allowed her mind to say whatever it wanted.

"I'm going to have many men."

Pippa made this odd sound somewhere between a gasp and a giggle before half-heartedly scolding her bold friend. "Felicity, that's shocking!"

Felicity's admittance of her plans seemed to make it true. She felt strong in this announcement. "I am. Hordes of men! Members of Parliament and stable boys. Moors and Irishmen. Disgraced dukes! Kings!" The more Felicity talked, the more it seemed to come true.

"No! Don't tell me anymore!" Pippa shrieked, her hands clamped tightly over her ears. But Felicity knew that Pippa wanted nothing more than for her to continue. She always wanted Felicity to shock and awe.

Felicity leaped up and began twirling in circles around the cave. "I'm going to have presidents and captains of industry! Actors and Gypsies! Poets and artists and men who will die just to touch the hem of my dress!"

"You forgot princes!" Ann shouted in glee.

"Princes!" Felicity affirmed as she took Ann by the hand and began twirling her in dance too.

"And troubadours!" Pippa screeched as she too joined the whirling circle.

"And troubadours who sing about the sapphires of my eyes!"

Gemma leaped up from her spot on the ground and joined the primal dance. "Don't forget jugglers and acrobats and admirals!"

Felicity's dream world crashed down around her. It felt as if someone had kicked her in the gut. All dancing stopped abruptly. "No. No admirals," she stated coldly. Pippa's hand reached out and squeezed Felicity's encouragingly. She understood even if no one else ever would.

"I'm sorry, Felicity. I didn't mean anything by it," Gemma apologized awkwardly. Felicity pulled away fro Pippa and snatched the bottle back up. She took one hard draw that left her doubled over. The whiskey was strong enough to knock the terrible thoughts out of Felicity's minds.

"Let's have a ritual, shall we?" The idea was forming quickly in the place of those thoughts she was avoiding. She wanted to trust these girls—yes, Felicity even wanted to trust Ann. But she couldn't be sure unless they made the right kind of promise.

"Wh-wh-what sort of r-r-ritual?" Ann's fear returned like a tidal wave when she saw the glint in Felicity's eyes.

"I know—we could make up an oath!" The smile on Pippa's rosy cheeks proved exactly how proud of herself she really was.

"It needs to be more than that," Felicity said. She was staring off toward the paintings on the walls. Blood lasted; she longed for something that would never fade. "Promises can be forgotten. Let's do a blood ritual. We need something sharp." Felicity glanced around the cave hopefully. Her eyes stopped on the large necklace that hung around Gemma's neck. "That would do nicely. I think."

"What are you going to do?"

Felicity sighed in exasperation. Why was everyone always such ninnies? "I'm going to eviscerate you and leave your organs on a pike in the yard as a warning to those who wear large jewelry."

"It was my mother's," Gemma said. Her will was defeated by the waiting eyes of all her friends. She pulled it off and dropped it gently in Felicity's outstretched hand.

"Merci." Felicity gripped the amulet tightly before bringing the sharp end down on her fingertip. A shock of pain flew up her arm, but Felicity didn't flinch. Blood bubbled up instantly.

"Here," she said as she rubbed the bloodied finger in a line across both Gemmas' cheeks. "We'll mark one another. Form a pact." When finished, Felicity tossed the necklace to Pippa.

"I can't believe you want me to do this. It's so animalistic. I hate the sight of blood."

"Fine, I'll do it for you, then. Shut your eyes." Felicity concentrated intently as she brought the sharp end down on Pippa's flawless skin. As soon as the skin broke, Pippa screamed as if she was mortally wounded. "Good heavens, you're still breathing, aren't you? Don't be such a ninny." Felicity pulled Pip by the hand and rubbed the blood on Ann's cheeks.

Ann did not need any help. Soon she had rubbed the blood on Pippa's porcelain skin. Pippa made one comment about feeling skin, but Felicity ignored it. "Go on, then," Felicity urged Gemma when she hesitated. "Don't tell me I'll have to do you too."

"No," Gemma said as she plunged the amulet into her skin. Felicity closed her eyes and felt the warm blood slide gently over her cheek bones.

"There," she said as she looked at the bloodied faces of her Order. "Put your hands out." Felicity felt three other hands fold over on top of hers. "We swear loyalty to each other, the keep the secret rites of our Order, to taste freedom and let no one betray us. No one." Her eyes met Gemma's at this point. "This is our sanctuary. And as long as we're here, we will speak only the truth. Swear it."

"We swear," the others chimed.

Another idea captured Felicity's thoughts. She picked up the candle and skid it into the center of the circle. "Let each girl tell her heart's desire over this candle and make it so."

Pippa reached for the candle first. "To find true love." Normally, Felicity would have rolled her eyes, but for the time being, she felt deeply for her friend because she too wanted to find someone to love.

"This is silly," Ann said when the candle was passed to her.

"Your heart's desire, Ann," Felicity said.

"To be beautiful," Ann whispered without looking at any of us.

Felicity took the candle in her hands and held it tight. The searing wax felt good on her numb exterior. "I wish to be too powerful to ignore."

Felicity handed Gemma the candle and waited to hear what she had to say. Gemma thought briefly before giving an answer that Felicity understood well. "To understand myself."

Felicity, satisfied with the festivities of their night, intoned, "O great goddesses on these walls, grant us our heart's desires." A breeze ripped through the cave, snuffing out the candle as it passed by.

"I think they heard us," Gemma whispered. Felicity silently prayed that they—whoever they were—did.

"It's a sign," Pippa added.

Felicity picked up the bottle and passed it around one last time. "It seems the goddesses have answered us. To our new life. Drink up. The first meeting of the Order has come to a close. Let's get back while our candles hold."

Felicity followed slowly behind Ann and Gemma as they climbed back up the ravine toward the school. Pippa was tripping over herself and had to lean fully on Felicity just to make it back. It didn't take long for Gemma and Ann to disappear completely into the night.

"Pippa," Felicity laughed. "You are a terrible light-weight. I'm practically carrying you."

"I can't help it," she whined as a reply. Just then her foot caught on a tree root. Her body launched forward. Felicity reached out and grabbed her arm before Pippa could hit the ground. The extra weight of Pippa's body forced Felicity onto the ground. Pippa came tumbling down on Felicity's body.

Pippa erupted in a fit of giggles. Felicity groaned and tried to move off of the pointed rock that was jammed into her back. "You think that's funny, do you?" Felicity teased when she realized that Pippa was still laughing vigorously.

"You saved me!" Pippa exclaimed.

"And nearly killed myself in the process," Felicity remarked as she pushed her body of the rock. The movement caused Pippa's body to roll the tiniest bit. Before either girl knew what was happening, Pippa had Felicity pinned against the cold earth. Felicity's breath caught in her throat.

Pippa's violet eyes met with Felicity's pale grey ones. Neither girl moved. The only sound was the chilly breeze breaking in and out through the trees. "Why did you kiss Gemma?" Pippa suddenly whispered. The feeling of Gemma's lips bubbled up into Felicity's mind. She felt her cheeks burn. "And you licked Ann," Pippa added softly.

Felicity struggled to find an answer. She had no idea why she did these things. They just happened. "Why not me?" Pippa's voice shook when she asked. She was so quiet that Felicity did not know if she heard right until she saw the hurt in Pippa's eyes.

"Do you want me to kiss you?" Felicity asked, clearly puzzled.

"Am I not beautiful enough for you?" A solitary tear fell out of Pippa's beautiful eye and landed right on Felicity's lip. She ran her tongue over the spot, tasting the saltiness of her one true friend.

"You're beautiful," she whispered after a moment.

"But you replaced me," Pippa sighed. "With Gemma."

"I could never replace you," Felicity exclaimed as she rolled Pippa off. Now it was Pippa on her back and Felicity leaning over her milky body. "You mean more to me that anyone else in the whole world."

"Prove it," Pippa whispered. Felicity did not know exactly what Pippa wanted, so she did the only thing that felt right in the moment. Felicity leaned down, close enough to taste the remnants of the whisky one Pippa's breath. She placed her forehead on top of Pippa's. Her lips dropped dangerously close to Pip's, but didn't actually touch them. Felicity's whole body was telling her to kiss her friend—to give Pippa what she obviously wanted. But, Felicity did have a heart. And Felicity's heart knew that this was not the time or place.

With a sigh, Felicity moved her lips up to Pippa's forehead. They touched the warm skin near her hairline and lingered briefly before Felicity pulled back. "You're drunk, Pip," she stated as she stood. "If you still want me to kiss you when you're sober, I will. But not now. Not like this."

Felicity offered Pippa her hand to take. Pippa used the support to pull herself up, but did not let go. The pair walked back to the school with their fingers intertwined.


	28. Chapter 28

**There could possibly be another chapter tonight since this one is so short. But, I can't promise anything since I have to study for a final I have tomorrow. Sorry this one is so short. In a couple weeks I will be able to give this story my full attention. Bear with me until then.**

Felicity's eyes were heavy the following morning. She sat up slowly; her body ached. A groan escaped her mouth as her stomach lurched. She was familiar with this feeling from the few times she got bored enough at home to sneak her father's drinks. This was not the worst she had ever felt.

Glancing at the clock, Felicity realized that she needed to wake Pippa now if they were to arrive at breakfast on time. She pulled her heavy body out of the warm sheets and wandered to Pippa's bedside. Suddenly a vision from the previous night ripped through her core. She almost kissed Pippa. But that realization is not what caused Felicity to jump back from Pippa's bedside. Felicity lurched away because the urge lingered.

A few deep breaths were all that Felicity needed. Her head cleared and she once again leaned over Pippa's sleeping frame. "Pip," Felicity whispered, her voice hoarse. "Pippa, it's time to get up." Pippa groaned and rolled away from Felicity's touch. "Come on. You need to get up now."

Felicity took a seat on the edge of the bed and began stroking Pippa's hair. "Why are you shouting?" Pippa finally groaned. She rolled back over to face Felicity. "I feel absolutely terrible."

"You don't look so great either," Felicity laughed. Pippa jumped out of bed and ran to her mirror. The movement was too fast. Felicity watched as Pippa doubled over and dry heaved. "Take it easy, Pip. Your body can't take too much right now."

Pippa stood back up straight and looked in her mirror. Felicity watched as the reflection frowned deeply. "I look like a drunkard," Pippa squealed.

"Nonsense," Felicity replied as she stood. "You just look like you had a rough night." In one fluid motion Felicity had removed her nightgown. Pippa gasped and whipped around to face Felicity's turned back.

"What happened?" Pippa exclaimed.

Felicity covered her exposed breasts before turning to look at her melodramatic friend. "What's the problem?"

"Your back! Turn back around!"

Felicity did as she was told. A shock pierced through her body when two icy fingers slid across her spine. Felicity was embarrassed to hear herself sigh. "Wh-what's wrong?" she gulped with her eyes squeezed close.

"You have a terrible bruise," Pippa answered. "Does it hurt?"

Felicity thought for a second. She now remembered getting the bruise, but had no idea if Pippa even remembered the incident. "Not really."

"Where did it come from?"

"You don't remember," Felicity said, her voice twanged with a tiny bit of sadness.

Felicity listened to Pippa's labored breaths. Finally, the breathing stopped all together. "Oh my!"

"So, you do remember after all."

"I almost," Pippa whispered. "I almost made you kiss me."

Felicity smiled at the thought of Pippa forcing her into anything. "Do you remember the promise I made?"

Pippa's fingers continued to rub small circles up and down the soft skin of Felicity's back. Felicity bit her lip just to muffle all the sounds that were trying to break free. "Yes," Pippa whispered, so quiet that Felicity almost missed it.

"I intend to make good on that promise. All you have to do is ask." Pippa's hand dropped down to her side. Felicity felt a chill run up her back. The absence of those delicate fingers somehow felt wrong. But Felicity could see no way to take back what was said. She knew she had frightened Pippa. With no further words, Felicity finished changing behind her dressing screen. When she re-emerged, Pippa was already dressed.

"I'm sorry," Felicity whispered.

"For what?"

"Everything." And with that Felicity hurried out of the room so she could hide the wetness in her eyes. She couldn't help but wonder if she had missed her chance for good.


	29. Chapter 29

**Happy Friday Everyone! Here's another chapter because I love you all so very much. Plus I love Felicity.**

Felicity thought she was done for in French when Mademoiselle LeFarge asked Gemma up to the front of the room. When Gemma's lie worked, Felicity made a mental note to destroy Cicely someday for her betrayal. She made a second mental note to thank Gemma for all the secrets she seemed to be keeping.

When Pippa, jealous Pippa, decided to insult Gemma, Felicity actually felt resentment toward her immature friend. She wanted nothing more than for the two of them to get along. But, more than that trivial wish, Felicity wanted Pippa to suffer a punishment for insulting Felicity's new friend. As a result, she gave Gemma the note and allowed Pippa to suffer some.

Of course, Felicity could not stay angry at the beautiful girl for long, especially when Mr. Bumble came unannounced. Felicity hated the man for the way he looked at Pippa. As she spied on the pair walking through the gardens, she couldn't help but wonder why there was no justice in the world. Felicity knew that in an ideal world Pippa would find someone who saw her for more than aesthetic beauty. It was staring through that window that Felicity realized she would always choose Pippa. But she also recognized that only in an ideal world would Pippa choose her.

Felicity was not one to sit around and wallow in misery. Putting on the mask of bravery was just as simple and routine as getting dressed in the morning. She hid behind a carefully constructed mask at all times. And sometimes she wondered if she would ever feel comfortable enough to take it off.

After Pippa's call from Mr. Bumble, Felicity tried to cheer her melancholy friend up. She sported one of Pippa's new gloves because it brought a smile to her stunning lips. Felicity knew that the simple gesture was a reminder to Pippa that she belonged to her—that for the time being, Felicity was still favoring her best. What Pippa could not know was that Felicity had come to favor her differently than anyone else. Gemma offered Felicity a friendship that she had never tasted before. Pippa, on the other hand, offered a glimpse into the person Felicity could have been if her innocence wasn't stolen from her. Pippa single-handedly had the ability to strip Felicity of the mask she buried herself behind.

That evening, Felicity felt more at ease in the caves. The reading of the diary, like the previous night, excited Felicity in ways she wouldn't allow herself to admit. She began to wonder if these girls, Sarah and Mary, were more like her than the others realized. Moreover, Felicity began to wonder if the diary was true.

When Mary described the power of the Runes of the Oracle, Felicity immediately assumed that the girls were Sapphists. It seemed like the perfect time to bring the subject up. She had been waiting patiently for a chance to mention Sappho to Pippa. The opportunity arose, and Felicity met it.

Pippa's reaction was altogether amusing for Felicity. She wondered if she had looked as shocked and bewildered when she had learned. The blush on Pippa's pale cheeks only made her more appealing to Felicity. She had to fight the urge to kiss her right then. Luckily Gemma asked to continue reading. The uncomfortable urges settled back down into the back of Felicity's mind.

The contents of the diary left Felicity feeling a little uneasy. She felt a deep connection to Sarah. She understood why Sarah would feel the need to regain some power. Felicity wondered if she would make the same choice in that situation. She decided that she would not—that she was strong enough on her own without the help of a sacrifice.

And those were the thoughts that commanded her attention when Pippa suggested they join hands and try to summon some magic themselves. Felicity thought it to be a joke, but she was willing to try. She could not shake the feeling that maybe some real magic did exist—that maybe there really was justice somewhere.

With her eyes squeezed shut and her mind wishing with all its might, she felt something. There was a tingle first in her fingertips, but it quickly advanced up her arm. And when it happened, Felicity felt something more. Somehow she could sense Gemma's thoughts and intentions. All too quickly though, Gemma broke the contact.

Felicity wondered what it could have been. When Pippa and Ann admitted that they felt it too, Felicity looked to Gemma. But Gemma denied feeling anything. That's when Felicity knew. She made a snide comment that Gemma lacked magic, but knew full well that Gemma was the source of the magic. And Felicity could not help but secretly resent her for whatever power she possessed. But, Felicity was not one to judge prematurely. She shoved those bad thoughts away and led her friends into the dark night.

Felicity immediately felt better once out of the musty caves and into the cool air. More and more as she got older she felt that she belonged to the night. Even in the cold air, Felicity was still dripping in her own sweat. Her corset was too restricting. She didn't like being barred into anything.

In the cold lake water Felicity felt truly free. Here, in this moment, she was in the present. The past didn't matter. And neither did the future. All she cared about was her friends. Even Ann was growing on her. Felicity didn't care that she was being immodest; or, that she was forcing both Pippa and Gemma to as well. She was satisfied to be alive—to be herself.

But all great moments end. The appearance of a dark haired Gypsy broke her melodious joy. If it were any other night she probably would have looked the other way. But too much happened in under a second.

The first thing Felicity noticed was Pippa scurrying for her clothes; the moonlight combined with the moisture of her white chemise left very little to the imagination. Felicity only had a moment to dwell on this realization before the Gypsy stepped out from the woods. His eyes glanced at Pippa, but lingered too long for Felicity's liking. She noticed the way they seemed to darken. It sickened her to see anyone look at her Pippa that way.

Felicity was surprised at her reaction. But she meant every word. She would put his eyes out the next time she saw him. She wanted to in that moment. She longed to chase him down and kill him. But her reason why wasn't because he saw Pippa. Her reasoning was because of the look in Pippa's violet eyes. Felicity had noticed that too. And no matter how hard she tried to erase the image, there was no denying that underneath all the fear and shock on her face, there was also a curiosity for him—a longing to be touched by a man that was young and handsome.

The Gypsy ran off. But Felicity could not shake it. She dressed quietly and pretended not to care. But there was no denying that Pippa wasn't secretly gloating because she was beautiful enough to stop a Gypsy in his tracks. Felicity wished she could take the whole night back. All except that one moment, that one tingling moment of ecstasy—of hope.

**Reviews :)**


	30. Chapter 30

**So I hope all you readers love this chapter as much as I do. I worked extremely hard on this one and consider it one of my best. Please review to amke me feel good about myself. Or, if you like to tear people down, tear me down. I'm always down for some constructive criticism.**

The following morning was much like every other morning at Spence except for Felicity's attitude. She hadn't slept well the night before and awoke bitter and quick to anger. All morning she had spent trying to hold her tongue from reacting harshly to Pippa. But, as usual, Pippa was trying too hard for Felicity's attention.

When it was time for dance lessons with Mrs. Nightwing, Felicity was avoiding Pippa altogether. As a result, Pip was trying harder. Felicity attempted to distract herself by prying into Gemma for more news. "I know you don't believe anything happened last night, but I think we should try to contact the other world again."

"I don't think that's a very good idea," Gemma responded. Felicity noted the way her eyes searched the room frantically.

"Why not? Are your feelings hurt that you didn't feel what the rest of us did?" Felicity asked as innocently as possible.

"Don't be ridiculous."

"What then?"

"I happen to find it dull," Gemma replied. "That's all."

"Dull?" Felicity could barely manage not to laugh. That was, by far, the worst excuse she had ever heard. "You call that dull? Dull is what we're going to experience in a moment." Out of the corner of her eye, Felicity could see Pippa waving her hand in an attempt to gain her attention.

"Fee, come stand over here with us," Pippa pleaded when Felicity pretended not to see. "Mrs. Nightwing's about to pair us off."

Gemma muttered something under her breath that Felicity couldn't exactly hear. Regardless of what was said, Felicity understood that Gemma was jealous just like Pippa. For the benefit of Gemma, Felicity made a point of turning her back on Pippa and Cicely. Gemma grinned stupidly to herself.

"Ladies, may I have your attention, please?" Mrs. Nightwing's voice echoed throughout the room as she made her way around the girls. "Today we are going to practice our waltzing. Remember: posture is paramount. You must pretend your spine is on a string pulled by God himself."

"Makes it sound as if we're God's puppets," Ann muttered in response.

"We are, if you believe Reverend Waite and Mrs. Nightwing," Felicity replied with a wink. She couldn't bring herself to believe in a god—especially not the one that all the hypocrites claimed existed.

"Is there something you wish to share with us all, Miss Worthington?"

Felicity made a showing out of her apology. "No, Mrs. Nightwing. Forgive me."

Mrs. Nightwing took a moment, allowing Felicity time to situate herself as far from Pippa as possible. "Miss Worthington, you shall partner with Miss Bradshaw." Felicity turned to her partner immediately, ignoring the rest of Mrs. Nightwing's pairings. Ann looked at Felicity with obvious fear in her eyes. Felicity decided to be extra nice today because she was pleased to not be dancing with Pip.

Felicity's thoughts were broke when Pippa made a scene about being the woman. Gemma looked ready to roast Pip on a stake. "We shall take turns leading and being led. Everyone shall have a chance."

"I can lead first if you want," Ann mumbled, afraid to make eye contact.

"I shall lead." Felicity placed her hand on Ann's waist and waited for the music.

"Now then, ladies," Mrs. Nightwing commanded. "Arms held high. Do not let your elbows droop. Posture, always posture. Many a lady's chances of securing a good marriage prospect have rested on her perfect carriage."

Felicity rolled her eyes and joked, "Especially if it's a private carriage attached to a good deal of money."

"Miss Worthington…"

Felicity heeded the warning. She straightened her body and danced with a little extra fervor. Mrs. Nightwing, satisfied, placed the needle onto the disc without further words. And so the dance began. "And one, two, three, one two, three. Feel the music! Miss Doyle! Watch your feet! Small, ladylike steps. You are a gazelle, not an elephant." Felicity chuckled at the insult. "Ladies, hold yourself erect! You'll never find a husband looking down at the floor!" That small jibe was directed at Ann who could not look into Felicity's icy grey eyes without flinching.

"She's obviously never seen some of those men after a few brandies," Felicity whispered to Gemma as she spun on by.

"There is to be no talking. Men do not find chatty women attractive. Count the music aloud, please. One, two, three, one two, three. And switch leads, one, two, three." Felicity gracefully moved her hand onto Ann's shoulder. Somehow, they managed not to get their feet tangled—that is, until Elizabeth and Cicely sent Pippa and Gemma flying directly into them.

The music died sharply. "If you dance with so little grace, your season will be over before it begins. May I remind you, ladies, that this is not a game? The London season is very serious business. It is your chance to prove yourselves worthy of the duties that will be imposed upon you as wives and mothers. And more importantly, your conduct is a reflection upon the very soul of Spence." A knock on the door ended Nightwing's lecture. When she excused herself, the girls all stood up and wiped off their skirts.

"Spence has a soul?" Gemma joked too soon.

"It's not funny!" Pippa responded. Felicity, for what felt like the hundredth time in that day alone, rolled her eyes. "Some of us want to better ourselves. I've heard you're silently graded from the moment you walk in the door of your first ball. I don't want to be gossiped about as _that girl who can't dance_."

"Do relax, Pippa," Felicity chided. "You will do just fine. You're not going to be left a spinster. Surely Mr. Bumble will see to that."

"I don't believe I said I would be marrying Mr. Bumble, did I? After all, I might meet someone very special at a ball." Felicity's gut turned. She was sick of these deluded fantasies.

"Like a duke or a lord," Elizabeth encouraged. "That's what I'd want."

"Exactly." Pippa smiled at Felicity with a newfound sense of superiority. It was enough to send Felicity over the edge.

"Dear Pip, you're not starting in on that fantasy again, are you?"

"What fantasy?" Pippa played innocent.

Felicity wanted to be cruel. She longed to knock the stupid ideas out of Pippa's head once and for all. "The one currently floating through your head on gossamer wings. The one where your true love is a prince looking for his princess and you just happen to have the dress in your wardrobe, neatly pressed."

"Well, a woman should always set her sights higher."

"That's high talk from a merchant's daughter." Felicity stood taller and waited for Pippa to back down. She was livid. Pippa had never stood up to her this way.

"You're not exactly in the position to be giving advice, are you? With your family history?"

Felicity could not decide where Pippa was heading with this argument. But she knew it couldn't be good. It was past the point of return though. Felicity leveled her voice and asked, coldly, "What are you implying?" She was daring Pippa to defy her—to ruin her.

"I'm not implying anything," Pippa began, just as boldly as before. "I'm stating a fact. For whatever else my parents may be, at least my mother isn't…"

Felicity knew full well what word would come if she pressed the issue. Yet, she couldn't bear to walk away now. It was time Pippa learned a lesson. "Isn't what?" Felicity snarled.

"I think I hear Mrs. Nightwing coming," Ann said nervously.

"Yes, could we please stop all this bickering?" Cicely added. She reached out and grabbed Felicity's arm. But Felicity did not budge. She didn't even glance away from Pippa's eyes once.

Felicity took a long step toward Pippa. They were now close enough to feel each other's breath on their own faces. Neither girl backed down. "No, if Pippa has something to say about my character, I, for one, would like to hear it. At least your mother isn't a what?"

"At least my mother isn't a whore."

Felicity's hand reacted faster than her mind could comprehend. It tore across the electric air in a blur. The sound of the smack echoed across the whole room. Felicity felt the sting all the way down to her toes. "You take that back!" she growled through her teeth as Pippa's eyes began to fill with tears.

"I won't!" Pippa cried, her hand still covering her cheek. "You know it's true. Your mother is a courtesan and a consort. She left your father for an artist. She ran away to France to be with him."

Every word Pippa had said was true, but Felicity couldn't let Pippa get away with exposing the secret. "It isn't true!"

"It is! She ran away and left you behind!"

Felicity laughed, the only reaction she could come up with. "She'll send for me when I graduate. I'll go to Paris and have my portrait painted by a famous artist. And then you'll be sorry for doubting me." The lie sounded hollow even to Felicity. She knew her mother had grown bored of her. Her mother would never call again.

"You still think she's going to send for you? How many times have you seen her since you've been here? I shall tell you—none."

"She will send for me," Felicity repeated, trying to convince herself as much as Pippa.

"She couldn't even be bothered to send anything for your birthday."

"I hate you." The words rang truer than anything Felicity had said all day.

"It's not me you hate, Fee. It's not me," Pippa replied softly. She hit the nerve. Felicity did hate someone, but it wasn't Pippa. It could never be Pippa.

Mrs. Nightwing hurried back into the room and read the tension like an open book. "What's going on here?"

"Nothing," the girls sing-songed as they broke apart.

"Then let's continue." Felicity reached for Ann's hand as soon as the music started. If Ann couldn't look at Felicity before, now it was even worse. Both girls were silent as they waltzed around just as gracefully as before. And then Felicity caught a glimpse of something so terrible that it stopped her dead in her tracks.

Gemma and Pippa had stopped dancing altogether. Pippa's eyes rolled back in her head just before her arm shot out and violently knocked Gemma in the face. Felicity watched the scene unfold before her. She had never seen a fit; she had imagined what Pippa was like in that state, but somehow this was worse. Watching her friend—her love—thrash about the ground was worse than anything she had ever experienced.

Felicity's legs, acting without permission from her mind, began to move. She couldn't bear to look so she ran from the sight. Felicity sprinted through toe door and out the main hall. She didn't stop her frantic escape until she could not longer breathe at all. Felicity fell to the ground on the cold forest floor; her heart was too heavy to hold.

Felicity was not one to cry, but that afternoon, she wept for everything she had been holding in for so long. She sobbed for her lost youth, her father's touch, her mother's betrayal, her inability to love Simon. She buckled under the weight of her inferiority in the face of the world—her complete lack of power. And when she was done crying for all these things, Felicity allowed herself to cross that line and weep for Pippa.

She felt completely alone in the world for those heart-breaking hours. Felicity thought she was some kind a pervert—some disgusting ghost of a girl stuck between two worlds. She wondered if she would ever find happiness, or if it was just another illusion meant to fool human kind. And after all these questions were thoroughly pondered, Felicity allowed herself to ask the simplest question of them all: Will Pippa ever forgive me?

Those hours spent on the forest floor were all it took for Felicity to sort out what she wanted. She stood, wiped of her skirts, and walked—chin up—back to the school. She was a changed woman after that day. Felicity vowed to never again hurt Pippa, even if it meant hurting herself in the process.


	31. Chapter 31

**Happy Saturday to all my American readers. I hope you are having a marvelous day because I am. Here's another chapter for you :)**

Felicity returned to Spence just in time for dinner. She pretended that nothing was wrong, but there was no denying the tension in the room. Every eye was on her as she made her way to an empty seat. Cicely took the seat directly across and opened her mouth to make a snide comment.

"Leave," Felicity growled before a sound could escape Cicely's arrogant lips.

"That was rather unladylike," Cicely responded smugly.

"Haven't you heard?" Felicity's tone was angry, and bitter. "I'm not a lady. I'm the daughter of a whore. And I will do and say as I please."

A group of younger girls gawked at Felicity's brash words. Cicely narrowed her little beady eyes and tried to come up with a response. Something in Felicity's eyes made her choose otherwise. Defeated, she stood abruptly and wandered off to find Elizabeth and Martha.

"C-C-Can I sit here?" a small voice muttered from Felicity's left just as she was about to resume eating.

"That depends. Can you eat with me without staring at me like I'm a leper?" Felicity's tone was significantly softer than it was with Cicely, but Ann still gulped and looked around nervously. "Good grief! Sit down, Ann," she commanded with a laugh.

Ann took her seat and immediately began in on her food. "Ann, are you scared of me?" Felicity asked after a few minutes of silence.

"I-I-I don't know," Ann stuttered, not knowing how to answer. "I suppose so," she admitted finally.

"Don't be."

"It's not that easy," Ann stated boldly. Immediately, she tried to take it back. "Wh-What I mean is that you're just so…"

"Intimidating?" Felicity interrupted. "Rude? Unchristian? Arrogant? What's your adjective of choice?"

Ann pulled her eyebrows together. She read curiosity on Felicity's face—not malice. "Confident."

A laugh not only startled Ann, but the rest of the girls in hearing distance. "Oh, Ann! If only you knew!" Felicity exclaimed. Ann took another bite of her food to hide the blush forming on her ruddy cheeks. Felicity's lips remained slightly upturned as she finished her meal in silence. Before Ann had finished, she stood and left. She wanted to see Pippa.

Felicity hurried up the stairs to her bedroom. She assumed Pippa would be resting in there. But two voices stopped her from entering. With her cheek against the cool wood, Felicity listened to the voice she recognized as Gemma's. She could not make out exact words, but she knew the conversation was about the Order—the magic. Once again, Felicity got the feeling that Gemma was hiding something.

While Felicity pondered this, she heard Gemma stand to leave. Quickly, Felicity darted around the corner. She watched as Gemma walked out of the room; her face was puffy and red. Felicity could tell she had been crying. Why? Felicity could not figure out.

Once Gemma was out of sight, she emerged from her hiding spot and made her way to the room. She wanted to know who the other voice was; though she suspected it was Miss Moore. Her suspicions were confirmed when she opened the bedroom door.

Miss Moore sat perched over Pippa's sleeping body on a small wooden chair. The other chair was directly next to it—still warm from Gemma's body heat. "Miss Worthington," Miss Moore said when she saw who it was. "How are you?" her voice was soft, sincere.

"How is she?" Felicity responded, nodding her head toward the beauty on the sheets.

"She'll be fine. She just needs some sleep." Felicity nodded once. She was still standing in the doorway, awkwardly staring at anything but Pippa. "I suppose this is your room too. I'll leave if you want to be alone with her."

Felicity did not want to be alone. She had been alone all day. "Stay," she commanded with no force at all. "I mean…"

"You mean that you want me here?" Miss Moore asked with a smile that washed away all the nervousness. "You can sit down if you want. I would say make yourself at home, but it seems I have already done just that in your home."

Felicity walked over to the other side of Pippa's bed with a small smile for Miss Moore's joke. Without ruffling the covers at all, Felicity sat down gently on the edge of the bed so she could be close to her friend.

"How long have you known?" Miss Moore asked quietly.

"Much too long," Felicity admitted. "I don't know how she hid it so well from me. That was the first time I have ever seen it happen."

"This must be very difficult for you."

"How so?" Felicity asked, looking up from Pippa's peaceful face.

"I was your age once too, you know. I had a best friend too." Felicity could not comprehend where Miss Moore was headed with this conversation. "I can't imagine what it would have been like to see something like that happen to a person so dear to me."

"You're not making this any easier," Felicity said wryly.

Miss Moore chuckled before saying, "I suppose I am all out of encouraging words for today." Felicity smiled in spite of herself. The room fell silent again.

Suddenly, Pippa sighed heavy and lifted her hand into the air. Her lips parted and there was no mistaking what word fell out. "Felicity."

Felicity's hand reached out and caught Pippa's searching one without any hesitation at all. When Miss Moore glanced to Felicity's face, she could see the wetness in her eyes. "Mrs. Nightwing is having tea downstairs in a few minutes. I'm going to go join her."

"I'll be down in a minute," Felicity responded, the lump in her throat audible.

"Take your time," Miss Moore responded. "I understand completely." Something about the tone in Miss Moore's voice caused Felicity's breath to hitch. When she turned around to respond, the teacher was already gone. Shaking the suspicion out of her mind, Felicity brought her eyes back to Pippa's still face.

"I love you, Pip," she whispered. "And I am sorry." Felicity leaned over the sleeping beauty. With her eyes squeezed tight, fighting the tears, she placed her lips on the smooth skin of Pippa's forehead. When she pulled away from the connection, Pippa's violet eyes were open. Felicity tried to find the words to say, but Pippa was already falling back into the grip of sleep. Her eyelids were too heavy. They hid tucked the violet away again. "Felicity," Pippa's mouth sighed one more time, before her breathing leveled out again.

"Pippa," Felicity sighed in return. She knew then that Pippa would forgive her. Felicity left the room confident that she had another chance to make things right.

**Review? **


	32. Chapter 32

**Sorry it is so short, but I have had a long day. If I get a burst of energy I will write more tonight. If not, I will definitely write tomorrow.**

Felicity was upset when after tea Cicely, Martha, and Elizabeth excused themselves because it meant that she could not leave without appearing rude. After the long day Felicity had had, she could not find any polite conversation topics inside her dreary head. She was tired; the lack of sleep was finally taking its toll.

"Mrs. Nightwing," Gemma broke the silence. "It's a curious thing…in the hall, there's no class photograph from 1871."

Felicity glanced over to see their headmistress's reaction. Of course, Felicity had noticed this too, but never thought it all that interesting. "No, there is not."

"I was wondering why not."

"That was the year of the great fire in the East Wing. There was no photograph. Out of respect for the dead." Felicity felt her body go cold. There had always been rumors that people died during the final, but she had always believed they were just that: rumors.

"For the dead?" Gemma repeated.

"The two girls we lost in the fire."

"The two girls who died…what were their names?" Felicity wondered what Gemma was getting at with all the questions, but she too was curious.

"Must we discuss so unpleasant a topic after such a long and trying day?" Mrs. Nightwing asked desperately. She had tired bags under her eyes too.

"I'm sorry." Felicity brought the teacup to her lips as she listened. "I simply wondered about their names."

Mrs. Nightwing sighed, defeated. "Sarah and Mary," she stated at last.

Felicity inhaled sharply causing the last bite of her custard to lodge itself in her throat. "I beg your pardon?" she croaked.

"Sarah Rees-Toome and Mary Dowd," Mrs. Nightwing repeated slowly. A shiver ran up Felicity's back. She glanced to Gemma only to find that she too was staring back. Both girls looked to Ann next; she was pale as a ghost.


	33. Chapter 33

**Well, it has been a long day. I had a huge paper to write for one of my classes. Therefore, bear with me. I'm not exactly in the mood to write too much more. I might get to the next chapter tonight, but maybe not. I can't make any promises. As always, please review :)**

Felicity could see clear as day that Gemma wanted more information on the deaths of Sarah and Mary. To be completely honest, she was curious too. Something about the idea of reading the diary of a dead girl excited her. Even as was perched on the edge of her seat in want of more.

Felicity, with the help of Gemma, got as much information out of Nightwing as possible. When Nightwing left, she saw an opportunity to retrieve even more. Felicity had learned fast that the help always know more then they openly admit. Gemma caught on quick and encouraged Brigid to tell what she knew.

Soon the girls had even more news to chew over. Felicity could not decide if she was more interested in Sarah and Mary because of the magic and their deaths or because they clearly were Sapphists. Either way, Felicity knew that she needed to discuss everything with Mother Elena if they were to learn anything more. After a little encouraging, Felicity had convinced both Gemma and Ann to accompany her to the Gypsy camp. And she was secretly grateful that Pippa wouldn't be around to encourage the men any more than they already would be.

Felicity, after discussing the plans, wandered back up to her room. Pippa was still asleep when she opened the door. The chairs Miss Moore had set out had been returned to their spots at each of the vanities. Felicity closed the door behind her and went to sit on the edge of Pip's bed.

Pippa's hand was warm in Felicity's. If she hadn't seen what happened earlier, Felicity would have thought Pippa was just asleep after a long day of balls and teas. But Felicity had seen it. The memory still scorched the inside of her eyes.

A gurgle from Pippa's throat scattered all the bad thoughts from Felicity's mind. She looked down to see Pippa staring back up. "Wh-What happened?" she croaked, her voice husky and dry.

"You had a fit," Felicity whispered. "Do you want something to drink? Your voice sounds dry." Pippa nodded once and waited patiently while Felicity poured some water from the pitcher that was left at her bedside. When the cup was full, Felicity tried to place it in the limp little hands, but found that they could not grip it.

"You have to help me," Pippa said. Felicity watched a small blush form just under Pippa's violet eyes.

"Of course," Felicity replied. She placed the cup gently between the two crimson lips and poured a small amount of water in Pippa's mouth. Pippa drank almost all of the water before it started to just drip down the corners of her mouth because she was done. "Oh, my. I'm sorry. I'm making a mess."

Felicity's fingers slid slowly across Pippa's small chin, picking up the moisture as they went. The soft pads of her fingertips continued up until rested gently on top the scarlet lips. The nerve endings in Felicity's fingers tingled as she glided them over each lip slowly.

The room was silent apart from the heavy breaths from each of the girls. Felicity swore Pippa could hear her heart racing, but Pippa could only focus on her own labored breaths. Just as Felicity was going to remove her hand, Pippa's lips puckered out leaving a kiss on the small tips. "Forgive me," she whispered against the fingers. "I should not have said those things."

Felicity's eyes welled up with tears. She tried to push them away, but could not. One drop escaped before Felicity could tuck the feelings back deep inside her. "No harm done," Felicity promised as she pulled her hand away. "But it is time for you to sleep again. I'm sure tomorrow I will have a lot to tell you."

"Night," Pippa sighed, but her eyes were already beginning to close again.

Felicity stood up and brushed off her skirts. It was almost time to go to the Gypsy camp. She was excited but a little nervous. Before she left, she remembered to tuck a small knife that she had stolen from her father in her shoe. And just like that, she felt ready.


	34. Chapter 34

**Finals week has officially begun. I will do my best to update fairly often, but I can't guarantee anything. Bear with me this week. I'm doing my best. Oh, and enjoy. **

Felicity led the way through the brambles all the way to the Gypsy camp. The night was turning cold. Felicity could see little white puffs in the air each time she exhaled. Each breath was short and painful. This small setback did not slow her down. Felicity was on a mission and no weather was going to stop her.

Felicity stopped abruptly at the edge of the Gypsy camp as soon as she saw the dogs waiting near by. The odds of finding Mother Elena without drawing the attention of the men at the campsite were little to none. Felicity took in her surroundings and tried to devise a plan. She caught Gemma's eye which pointed toward Ithal. He was seated around the fire with the other men.

"What is it?" Ann whispered when she saw the direction her friends were looking toward.

"A change of plans. We'll have to come back tomorrow, during the day," Gemma said as she turned to leave. Felicity reached out to stop her, but it was too late. A twig broke under the weight of Gemma's clumsy step. Felicity glanced over to see that Ithal was already standing, dagger in hand.

"Bravo," Felicity snapped. She could hit Gemma for her stupidity.

"Don't blame me. Take it up with the forest."

Before Felicity could respond, Ithal broke his silence. "Who's there?"

"We're done for," Ann whispered, petrified.

Felicity assessed the situation quickly and knew what she must do. She hoped she wouldn't regret her decision, but it was really her only option. "Not quite," she replied to Ann right before stepping out from the cover of darkness.

"What are you doing?" Ann panicked. Felicity ignored her protests and continued walking. She could see each of the men's faces turn from shock to awe. Ithal licked his lips and broke out into a wolfish grin. He bowed to his lady before whistling at Gemma and Ann.

"I knew you could not stay away," Ithal teased just as Felicity felt Gemma's body heat arrive next to her. She sighed inwardly; thankful that Gemma and Ann hadn't ran off without her.

"You knew nothing of the sort," she replied trying her hardest to sound brave. She was mostly confidant that Ithal would not hurt her—it was the others she worried about. "As I recall, I left you standing on the other side of the wall the other day. That's where you will always belong—on the other side of things."

Felicity watched as Ithal stepped closer. She could taste his breath on her tongue as he fiddled with the ribbon of her cape. His fingers were hot, but gentle. "I'm not on that side of the wall tonight."

"Please," Ann croaked. "We've only come to see Mother Elena."

"Mother is not here right now." Felicity glanced to see who was speaking, but could only make out a dark figure moving closer. She tried to turn her face to look closer, but Ithal grabbed her chin and held her in place. His hand slid longingly down her throat and stopped just over her heart.

"I demand to see Mother Elena." Felicity hoped that no one else heard the slight tremor in her voice.

"What's going on?" A husky voice asked from Felicity's left. This time Ithal allowed her to look over. She glanced over just in time to see the Gypsy boy from the other night make eye contact with Gemma.

"Please, we need to see Mother Elena," Gemma said desperately. There was no denying that Gemma knew this boy better than any of the others. Felicity immediately wondered if Gemma had a secret much like her own.

"Ah…this _gadje_ is yours. I apologize, friend," Ithal said, his palm raised to point to Gemma. Felicity did not know what the term meant, but she knew it was probably offensive. She thought about objecting, but decided silence would be better suited at the present.

"She's not…Yes, she is mine," Kartik said as he took Gemma's hand in his own. Felicity turned to follow his lead, but was stopped by Ithal's grip on her arm. At the same time Ithal laced his fingers around her elbow, a Gypsy boy with a big nose grabbed hold of Gemma's wrist.

"How do we know she's yours? She does not seem so willing," the boy teased. "Perhaps she will come with me instead."

A moment passed with no sound but the wind. It was long enough to raise the suspicions of the men around the fire. Felicity's body went cold. She prepared herself to run if need be. Just as she was lifting her foot to grab for the knife, Gemma threw herself onto the Gypsy with curly hair. Her lips crashed against his awkwardly. But as the second passed slowly, Felicity saw the kiss mold into something more. His lips parted hers and his tongue slipped inside. Gemma jumped back—obviously unprepared.

"I see she is yours after all!" A burley man boomed. Felicity could not take her eyes off Gemma. Gemma was the opposite. She stared only at the ground.

"Yes," Kartik croaked in response. His hand laced around Gemma's. "I'll take them to Mother Elena to have their fortunes told. Get back to drinking. It's their money we need, not their trouble."

Felicity looked into Ithal's face with pleading eyes. He still had hold of her arm. He must have seen something in her face to make him let go because he dropped his hand and turned away without a fight. Felicity grabbed Ann's ice cold hand and pulled her along.

"It is just ahead," Kartik said as he pointed the way. Felicity took the lead with Ann. She could not help but steal glances at Gemma and the boy as they walked a few paces behind. Gemma would not give in though and Felicity gave up.

When they reached the tent, the Gypsy held up the tent flap for Ann and Felicity. Immediately, Felicity took in her surroundings. The tent was small, but comfortable. Mother Elena sat at a small table in the center of the confined space. "Come my ladies," she said with a big smile. "It has been many years since I have seen some Spence girls come for their fortune. Two girls about your age used to come on a regular basis."

"Oh really," Felicity grinned as she took her seat. She thought about asking more, but suddenly it occurred to her that Gemma was no where to be found. "Well I muss confess that we have broken some rules by coming."

Mother Elena's smile increased in size. "So what will it be? The cards or palm?" She looked directly at Ann when she asked. For a reason Felicity could not comprehend, she felt it was better to leave her fortune unknown. She didn't trust what would be revealed.

"My friend, Ann, here will have her palm read," Felicity responded. Mother Elena held out a small tin can and waited silently. Felicity dug into her purse and pulled out a few pence. They clinked loudly as they fell to the bottom of their new home.

"Give me your hand." Ann obeyed silently. Felicity watched as Mother Elena traced the small lines on the skin. Her brows furrowed as if she was trying to decipher an especially difficult story. "Your life line is long and very strong. You are healthy and will be most of your life. This here is your love line," she announced. "I see that you will grow to be very beautiful. You will grow to have many admirers.

Felicity watched as Ann's face lit up. She figured it was all a hoax, but did not say or do anything to dampen Ann's joy. Suddenly Gemma bustled into the tent, interrupting the fortune. "There you are," Felicity called. "Mother Elena was just telling us the most interesting story about Ann becoming a great beauty."

"She told me I'm going to have many admirers," Ann interrupted, excited.

Mother Elena crooked a finger. "Come close, child. Mother Elena will tell you your future."

Gemma walked slowly through the tent, her eyes examining the surroundings. When she reached the table, she took the seat on the other side of Felicity. Mother Elena lifted the tin basket and placed it directly in front of Gemma. Gemma only stared at it incredulously. "Giver her a few pence," Felicity whispered because she was not willing to pay for Gemma as well.

"But then I'll have nothing till my family's visit on Assembly day."

"Give. Her. The pence." Gemma sighed heavy and dropped a couple pence in the basket. Mother Elena gave the basket a shake and smiled at the sound. She pulled out a small coin purse and emptied the basket into it before turning back to her guests.

"Now, what will it be? The cards? The palm?"

"Mother Elena, I think our friend would be very interested in the story you were telling us—about the two girls from Spence?" Felicity said, obviously prodding.

"Yes, yes, yes. But not with Carolina in the room. Carolina, fetch some water now." Felicity glanced around to see if there was anyone around, but was not altogether surprised when there was not. Suddenly, Mother Elena tilted her head, as if listening to a far off sound. When she turned back to Gemma, her expression had changed to warm affection.

"Ah, Mary, what a nice surprise. What is it Mother Elena can do for you today? I've got lovely honey cakes, sweet as can be. Come now." Felicity watched in amusement as she placed imaginary cakes on a fake tray. When she offered them to Gemma, Felicity had to stifle laughter. "Mary, dear, don't be shy. Have a sweet. You're wearing your hair differently. It suits you." Felicity did not know exactly what was going on, but she shot an encouraging nod toward Gemma.

"Thank you, Mother," Gemma replied as she took one of the invisible cakes.

"Now, where is our lively Sarah today?"

"Or Sarah?" Gemma asked, faltering.

"She's off practicing the magic you taught her," Felicity interrupted. She immediately regretted her words due to the deep frown on Mother's wrinkled face.

"That I taught? Mother doesn't dabble in such things. Only the herbs and the charms for love and protection. You mean them."

"Them?" Gemma repeated.

"The women who come to the woods. Teaching you their craft. _The Order_. No good can come of it, Mary, you mark my words." Her voice was serious and husky.

"How do you know what sorts of things they teach us?" Gemma asked, pulling the question right out of Felicity's mouth.

"Mother knows. Mother sees. They see the future and the past. They shape it. They see the spirit world." Felicity instinctively leaned closer to hear the whispered exchange. Ann was doing the same.

"Do you mean the realms?" Gemma murmured. Mother nodded an affirmative. "Can you enter the realms, then, Mother?"

"Oh, no. Only glimpse it. But you and Sarah have gone, Mary. My Carolina has told me you brought her sweet heather and myrtle from the garden. But there are other places. The Winterlands. Oh, Mary, I'm afraid of what lives there…afraid for you and Sarah…"

"Yes, what about Sarah…" Felicity interjected when Mother hesitated.

"Sarah is a hungry one," Mother said sadly. "She wants more than knowledge. She wants power, that one. We must keep her from the wrong path, Mary. Keep her from the Winterlands and the dark things that live there. I fear she will call them, bind one to her. And it will corrupt her mind." The more Mother said the more Felicity began to feel disinterested. It seemed to her that this part was all a big joke.

"What…dark things?" Gemma asked, hanging tight to every word.

"Wounded spirits of such rage and hate. They want to come back to this world. They will find your weakness and exploit it." Felicity made a silly face in hopes of convincing Gemma how absurd the whole story is.

"How could she call such a thing to her?" Gemma asked just as serious as before. Felicity sighed and gave up.

"A sacrifice is what it wants, and then the power is hers. But she'll be forever bound to the dark."

"What sort of sacrifice?" Gemma croaked. Felicity watched as Mother Elena's eyes glazed over. She seemed to be fighting some long lost memory—trying to keep it out of her mind. "What sort of sacrifice?" Gemma repeated, much more firmly.

"Don't get so carried away…_Mary_," Ann said quietly through gritted teeth.

Mother's far away look evaporated into thin air. She glanced around at the girls quickly, as if terrified. "Who are you?" she demanded.

"It's your Mary, Mother Elena. Don't you remember?" Felicity said in an attempt to get her back.

Mother whimpered. "Where is Carolina with the water? Carolina, don't be naughty. Come to me."

"Mary can take you to her," Felicity insisted.

"Stop it!" Gemma shouted. Felicity looked to see pure fear in Gemma's green eyes.

"Mary, is it you come back to me after all this time?" Mother said as she cupped Gemma's face.

"I'm Gemma. Gemma, not Mary. I'm sorry, Mother." Suddenly Mother Elena began to walk backward hastily. "You," she shouted. "You brought it on us."

"I think we had best leave," Ann warned. Felicity wanted to stay a little longer, but Gemma was already backing toward the entrance.

"You destroyed us. Lost it all…"

Felicity reached into her purse and pulled out one more shilling. "Thank you, Mother. You've been the most helpful. The honey cakes were delicious." Felicity tossed the coin onto the table and turned to run out. When she fell out of the opening she ran into Ann.

"Bloody hell, Ann!" she moaned. "Why did you stop right in front of the door?"

"Gemma is already gone," she whispered, staring off into the dark woods.

"It was you!" Mother shouted one last time, louder than ever.

"Well, come on then!" Felicity encouraged, grabbing onto Ann's cold fingers. With a strong tug she too took off running toward the dark, encompassing cover of trees. Felicity dashed through the woods like a predator lost in the electricity of the hunt. She could hear Ann's labored breathing and feel her clumsy feet, but it didn't slow her down. She could see the gleam of white—Gemma—in the distance.

"Leave me alone!" Gemma shouted as Felicity burst into view.

"Well, that's a fine way to treat us," Felicity responded in between short breaths. "What the devil got into you back there?"

"I—I just got spooked."

"Mother Elena may be mad, but she's harmless. Or perhaps she's not mad at all. Perhaps if you hadn't run off, her little performance would have ended and we could have had our fortunes told instead of wasting five pence for nothing."

"I'm s-sorry," Gemma stammered.

"What an evening," Felicity muttered as she walked ahead leaving Gemma on her knees and Ann watching from the side. As she wandered back to the school alone, Felicity allowed herself to try and believe if anything Mother had said could be true. She knew for certain that she did not believe in the evil part of it all. But, somehow she knew even then that there was more—that not everything could be made up.

She was now beyond a doubt sure that Gemma knew more than what she was telling. Felicity also knew that there was no way the diary had come from the library. But where else could she have gotten it? Felicity couldn't figure that one out.

**A review right now would make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :)**


	35. Chapter 35

**Instead of writing a paper for one of my classes, i wrote this. Maybe now that I got the creative juices flowing, I will be able to write my paper. **

Felicity woke up on Sunday morning to a tapping knock on the door. At first she thought she had imagined it and made an effort to fall back into the comfort of dreams, but the sound came again. With a sigh, Felicity tossed her sheets away from her body and scurried to the door. She only opened it a crack to look out since she was dressed immodestly.

Mrs. Nightwing stood in front of a tall man with a silly looking mustache. "Miss Worthington, good morning. Dr. Thomas and I would like to have a look at Miss Cross. Are you decent?"

"Good morning," she responded, stifling a yawn. "Give me just a few minutes to get dressed and I will let you in."

"Very well, we will wait." Felicity shut the door softly and ran behind her dressing screen. Her clothes were in a heap after she had thrown them off the previous night. She pulled them on as fast as she could, but could not tie her corset effectively. After trying and failing three times, Felicity gave up and left it much too loose.

"Come in," she said as she opened the door up for the older man and Mrs. Nightwing. Dr. Thomas brushed right by Felicity without even a glance. Mrs. Nightwing, on the other hand, raked up Felicity's body to make sure she looked proper. Suddenly, Felicity realized that she had forgotten to put her hair back up.

"Miss Worthington," Mrs. Nightwing whispered. "Your corset is much too loose. Come behind your screen and I will tighten it up for you. I would presume Miss Cross usually gives you a hand. But you cannot go to church dressed like that."

"Thank you, Mrs. Nightwing." Felicity wasn't actually grateful at all—not when Nightwing pulled the strings as tight as they could possibly go. Felicity gasped, trying to find a way to breathe evenly.

"A young lady must always look her best Miss Worthington," Mrs. Nightwing lectured when Felicity shot her daggers through her eyes. "I will forgive you for your appearance this morning, but it would do you some good to wake up early enough to be presentable when Miss Cross is sick."

"Yes, Mrs. Nightwing."

"Very good," Mrs. Nightwing chimed as she disappeared back into the room. Felicity took a sharp breathe and tried to bend in any direction. The sharp points of the corset dug into her skin that resulted in shooting pains in her back. With a sigh, she returned to the openness of her bedroom.

"How do you feel, Miss Cross," Dr. Thomas asked. Felicity took a seat on the edge of her bed and watched as Pippa looked around the room as if in a daze.

"Much better," she replied with a small smile. Felicity could tell that Pip was putting on a brave face.

"Does your head hurt at all?"

"No, Sir."

"Nausea?"

"No."

"Very well then." Dr. Thomas straightened up and looked directly at Nightwing who was perched near Pip's desk. "She is fully recovered. She is free to return to daily activities. I just ask that she take it easy on the future—don't get so riled up."

"Thank you, Dr. Thomas. I will make sure that she does not get overly excited. Your assistance was much appreciated again. I will walk you out."

Nightwing glanced once more to Pippa before exiting the room behind Dr. Thomas. Felicity immediately stood and walked over to Pippa's bedside. "I was so worried."

"I'm sorry," Pippa replied.

"For what?"

"Worrying you."

"Don't apologize for something you can't help," Felicity commanded softly. "Do you remember anything?"

"It's all kind of blurry," she admitted. "Last I remember was…" Pippa trailed off and her cheeks colored themselves crimson.

"I should not have hit you. I will not ever do it again."

"I deserved it."

"No, Pippa, you did not. The only person in this school that deserves to be hit is Cicely. You of all people do not."

"Well next time maybe you should aim for Cicely."

"Oh, I will," Felicity joked. "Next time you infuriate me, I will stomp right over to Cicely and put my boot into her gut."

"You're dreadful!" Pippa squealed as she laughed. Felicity was relieved to hear that laugh again. It had been much too long since she last heard the soft ringing. "But I would pay to see that."

"You are no less dreadful than I am, then."

"You're right!" Pippa giggled. "You are just a terrible influence on me."

"I won't deny it." Felicity had often wondered if she was turning Pippa into a less lady-like girl with her constant games. Sometimes she even felt guilty. "But on a heavier note, I have news."

"About what?"

"The Order. Sarah and Mary."

"Tell me!" Pippa squeaked as she sat up in bed. Felicity immediately recounted everything that had happened the night before. When she was done telling it all, Pippa broke out into a full-toothed grin. "Do you think it all might actually be true?"

"I'm starting to believe it against my better judgment," Felicity admitted.

"I hope it is. I know I felt a tingle when we tried."

"I know. I did too."

"Poor Gemma. She didn't feel anything at all." Felicity considered telling her friend of her suspicions, but decided to leave it be. The last thing Felicity wanted was to be wrong and look like a fool. "What do you make of Sarah and Mary? I can't believe Brigid caught them kissing! Maybe they are Sapphists, after all."

"It is possible," Felicity mused. "Or maybe Sarah just loved Mary…more than anyone else in the world."

"What do you mean?" Pippa asked her eyes full of curiosity.

"Maybe Sarah did not have any other real friends. Maybe Mary was the only person she could trust. Mary might have been Sarah's closest friend and dearest confidant. Maybe she fell in love with Mary because Mary was different than anyone else." Felicity knew that she was not talking about Sarah anymore. Her own honesty startled her.

"But what about Mary's feelings? Do you think Mary felt the same?"

"I would hope so," Felicity replied. "For the sake of Sarah."

"I don't think she did," Pippa answered. "I think she was afraid of Sarah's need for power." The words cut a hole through Felicity's heart. She tried to inhale, but could not. Whether she couldn't breathe from the corset or her own breaking heart, Felicity did not know.

"Will you loosen my corset?" Felicity growled. "Bloody Nightwing is trying to kill me." Felicity felt her body expand as Pippa allowed the strings some room. It felt like waking from a nightmare. "Thank you," she sighed once she inhaled deeply and felt her lungs expand correctly.

"I suppose I need to get up and get ready for church. I am famished and don't want to miss breakfast."

"God forbid you do. Or else you will eat all my chocolates," Felicity joked. It felt great to laugh with Pippa again after all the fighting they had been doing. Felicity smiled to herself and hoped that the future would be better.

**Review Review Review, my friends.**


	36. Chapter 36

**I will try and get to the next chapter tonight, but I cannot make promises. Anywho, I hope everyone had a pleasant day and is excited to read this. I was excited to write it. Reviews are like the the cherry on top of a perfect ice cream sunday-not needed to be good, but definitely wanted.**

Felicity was sitting on her bed with a book when Pippa came slipping through the door, soaked head to foot. There was terror in her eyes. "Thank heavens I made it here without Nightwing seeing!" she sighed. "She would probably have given me fifty bad conduct points for blatantly disobeying doctor's commands."

Felicity looked up from her book only to snicker at her friend's damp appearance. "It is not funny!" Pippa shrieked. "How would you like a little taste of your own medicine?"

"I'd like to see you try," Felicity mocked. Pippa's violet eyes slid into slits. Without warning she bounded across the room and onto Felicity's surprised body. "What are you doing?" Felicity giggled as Pippa wiped her wet clothes all over Felicity's. "Your skin is freezing!"

"Revenge is a dish best sold cold," Pippa teased as she pulled her hair out of the proper bun. It fell down around her in perfect ringlets even when wet. With a push she nuzzled those dark rings all over Felicity's face. Felicity continued to laugh, but she couldn't move without possibly hurting Pip. Finally Pippa stopped her frenzy. Her eyes looked up from under dark lashes causing Felicity's stomach to tighten. Suddenly it became very clear just how close the two were in proximity to one another. "Consider us even," Pippa whispered.

"Even," Felicity repeated, trying to clear the clouds from her mind.

"Are you alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Felicity asked, but her voice caught in her throat.

"You're very pale."

"I'm always pale."

"Not like this," Pippa mused. Her small fingers reached up and brushed along the skin of Felicity's cheekbones. Her eyes closed softly at the touch. "Do you feel sick?"

"A little," Felicity answered. "My stomach has come down with a bad case of the butterflies."

"Why are you nervous?" Pippa asked, astonished that Felicity ever got nervous about anything.

"I guess it has something to do with the Spiritualist meeting tonight. I realized that I have no idea how to ensure Gemma gets on stage without earning myself quite a few bad conduct marks."

"Since when do you care about your bad conduct marks?"

"Assembly Day is coming. If my father comes, I don't want him to think I am a deviant child."

"Why do you care what he thinks?" Pippa sat up now, finally giving Felicity the space needed to breathe correctly.

"Because he is my father…And I love him."

"But what he did was..."

Felicity cut Pippa off before she could finish. "What he did was my fault. I was too beautiful. He couldn't control himself."

"It was most definitely not your fault! What he did was wrong!" Pippa's eyes were furious.

"Look, Pip," Felicity softened. "That's just how men are. I've never told you this because I didn't want to corrupt your naïve innocence. But men are constantly subject to the desires of their sex. They cannot control themselves. Why do you think prostitution still exists? Why is it the oldest profession?"

"Not all men are that way," Pippa replied. She sounded like she was convincing herself more than Felicity. "I will find one who isn't. And you will see."

"I do hope you prove me wrong," Felicity said in all honesty. She would do anything to find the perfect man for Pippa, but more and more Felicity knew it was an unrealistic dream. There was no man who could ever love Pippa that way Felicity did.

"I will." The conversation ended there. Pippa removed herself from Felicity's side and begin searching her wardrobe for an appropriate dress for the night. When Felicity saw that the conversation was definitely over, she began getting ready as well.


	37. Chapter 37

**It's short and I'm sorry. But I'm having a hard time focusing tonight. Tomorrow I will be fresh and new.**

Felicity was excited for the Spiritualism demonstration despite her doubts that it was all just a hoax. She wanted to believe that Madame Romanoff could contact Sarah Rees-Toome, but it seemed unlikely. Her real hope was in Gemma because Felicity was no longer content turning a blind eye to all the mysterious attributes of her friend.

The London streets were busy as people dressed in their best tried to scurry into the lecture hall. Felicity was just happy to be somewhere other than Spence—dressed in something other than her school uniform. She was enjoying the moist air and accentuating dress Pippa wore for the occasion. Felicity admired her friend from afar, but frowned when she realized she was not the only one who had noticed how beautiful Pip really was.

The beginning of the séance is a bore for Felicity. Just as she predicted, everything Madame Romanoff said was contrived from the clues given by the people on stage. Even so, Felicity followed through on her promise. Her heartfelt tears and overall unladylike performance did just the trick. Once Gemma was situated on the stage, Felicity allowed herself to snicker. She stole one glance at LeFarge and was pleased to see that she was too preoccupied to care.

The whole charade with Gemma took approximately a minute. Felicity was highly disappointed when nothing seemed to happen. Instead of contacting Sarah, Madame Romanoff spewed out some poppycock about Reggie. The only person who seemed truly moved that night was Mademoiselle LeFarge. And that was a mystery Felicity had no energy to discover.

On the carriage ride back to the school Felicity succumb to the warm embrace of sleep. Her head rested gently on Pippa's slender shoulder as the carriage bumped through the road. Suddenly, an arm on her shoulder pulled her awake.

"Wh-what is it? Are we back?" she said as she rubbed the sleepiness from her eyes.

"No, not yet, Gemma whispered. "I need to call a meeting of the Order."

"Yes lovely. Tomorrow, then" Felicity shut her eyes again.

"No, it's important. Tonight. We must meet tonight." Something in Gemma's tone cleared all drowsiness from Felicity's mind. She immediately sat up and prepared herself for the night. A small glimmer of hope was now in Felicity's field of vision. She allowed herself to imagine that her dreams could come true.


	38. Chapter 38

**So first I should apologize for the long wait. I have been ridiculously busy moving out of my dorm room and trying to get re-settled at my parents' house for the summer. I hope you have had a pleasant weekend and haven't been too upset with me. Here is the chapter I promised on Thursday. I will try and update ASAP, but I won't make any promises. **

"Must we really meet tonight?" Pippa complained as she lit a fresh candle. "I am dreadfully tired."

"Gemma says it's important. Let's just hope she isn't lying." Felicity slid her tired arms into her cloak and peered at her tall figure in the mirror. There were large black rings under her eyes. The lack of sleep was getting to her. "Let's go."

Pippa and Felicity met Gemma and Ann at the bottom of the stairs. Ann seemed just as tired and begrudging as Pip, but something in Gemma's eyes had changed. She looked excited, and eager…and terrified.

Without a word the friends disappeared into the night. The rain had stopped falling, leaving behind a sticky layer in the hot air. In under a minute Felicity could feel the sweat breaking out on her forehead and underarms. Deciding it was much too hot for a cloak, she pulled hers off and carried it the rest of the way.

Once in the cave the girls all took their seats in the usual spots. Felicity pulled the diary out and yet a passage, but it was bland and unimportant. She could hardly focus on what the words meant because sleep had found her eyes. The pale lids drooped low and stayed shut much too long with each blink. By the time she had finished, Felicity was practically sleep walking.

"All right, then, what's all this about?" she asked after a long yawn.

"Yes. Why couldn't this wait till tomorrow?" Pippa said sullenly.

"Because it couldn't." Gemma paused, prolonging the moment. "What if I told you the Order was real? That the realms are real…And that I know how to get there?"

"You pulled me out into this horrible muddy night for a joke?" Pippa sighed with an eye roll. Ann, quick to have anew friend, snorted and nodded at Pip. But Felicity stole a glance into Gemma's green eyes and knew everything she had said was true. Suddenly, the night was young and the thoughts of sleep were trivial.

"I don' think Gemma is joking," Felicity whispered.

"I have a secret. There's something I need to tell you."

Felicity listened patiently as Gemma recounted everything that had happened since her birthday. She assumed there was a small part she was leaving out, particularly the involvement with the Gypsy boy, but she didn't ask. She waited until the story was completely done before saying what it was she had wanted to say since Gemma had begun. "You have to take us." It wasn't a question, or a suggestion. This was a command.

"I'm not certain what we'll find there. I'm not certain of anything, not anymore."

"I'm willing to risk it," Felicity replied with her hand outstretched. She had been waiting her whole life for something to give her hope—to give her peace within; now was her chance.

Gemma grabbed Felicity's confident hand. "Let's go." Felicity does not let go of Gemma's sticky hand while she helps organize the candles in the center of the circle. Pippa laced her delicate fingers in Felicity's free hand. Ann then took her spot between Pip and Gemma. "What do we do now?" Felicity asked.

"I've only been able to control it the one time, when I tried to get back tonight."

"Sounds a bit dodgy to me," Pippa announced. "Perhaps we shouldn't attempt this." Felicity suddenly got a strange feeling—and odd, haunting thought. She couldn't shake the feeling that she would forever be stuck in between Pippa and Gemma—forever disappointing one of them. "Don't you agree, Ann?" Surprisingly, Ann did not take Pip's side. "Oh, all right, then. But when it turns out to be some elaborate hoax, I shall say I told you so and not feel one bit of sympathy for you."

"Pay her no attention," Felicity said specifically to Gemma.

"My mother said that I should concentrate on the image of a door…"

"What kind of door? A red door, a wooden door, large, small…" Ann mused.

Pippa sighed. "Best tell her the kind, or she won't be able to concentrate. You know she needs to know the rules before we start anything."

"A door of light," Gemma answered. Felicity began to picture it immediately. "Close your eyes." Felicity obeyed her red-haired friend's wishes. With her eyes squeezed tight she focused all her might into the image of a bright door composed entirely of sunlight. "I choose this," Gemma said confidently.

Whispers grew in the corners of the caves. They swelled into an audible hum. Felicity's body tensed when she felt the world drop out from under her. And then the tingling came; Felicity felt it first in the hand that connected her to Gemma, but it ran quickly through her whole body. It met the tingles in Pippa's hand once it had traced down the other arm. The humming sounds stopped and all that could be heard was a shudder that seemed to pour out of Gemma's body. And then, all was silent.

Felicity opened her eyes, one at a time. But it was there; a door made solely of light stood in the middle of their circle as if it had been there for centuries.

"Criminy…" Ann whispered.

"Do you see that?" Pippa wondered.

Felicity immediately reached out to open it, but her hand slid right through the light to the other side of the cave. "Gemma, you try," she said, knowing that Gemma could get it open if she could not.

Felicity watched as Gemma reached out slowly, cautiously. Her hand on the knob forced a symbol to appear in the center of the door. It matched the necklace Gemma had around her neck, the amulet that was now glowing. Gemma turned the knob and the door opened easily.

"You did it," Ann said.

"Yes, I did, didn't I?" Gemma responded triumphant.

Felicity stepped through the door directly behind Gemma. At first the colors were so vivid that it burned Felicity's pale eyes. Once they had adjusted to the bright colors, Felicity began take in everything around her. The sky, stuck in an eternal sunset, was enough to bring tears of joy to her eyes. But there was so much more to look at—trees, flowers, a river, and the blossoms that were falling from the skies and bathing the girls in sparkles.

"Oh, it's all so beautiful," Pippa said after she turned a leaf into a butterfly with just one touch.

"Extraordinary," Ann agreed.

"It's real! It's all real!" Felicity gasped as she danced around in a giddy twirl. And then she smelled it. She stopped dead in her tracks. "Do you smell that?"

"Yes," Gemma responded as she inhaled through her nose.

"Hot cross buns. We had them every Sunday. And sea air. I used to smell it on my father's uniforms when he returned from a voyage. When he used to come home." Felicity did not add the one other distinct smell. It was hidden behind the others, but still recognizable. She would be able to recognize that smell from anywhere. It was the scent of Pippa's skin—her hair. It was what their bedroom smelled like when a breeze caught Pip's hair and spread the scent throughout the room. It was the scent of Pip's sheets. It was a smell Felicity had never realized she cared for until now.

"No, you're wrong. It's lilac. Like the sprigs I kept in my room from our garden." Pippa was puzzled at how someone could mix up the scent so easily. "What is it?" Pippa asked when a song drifted up from a valley below. "Wait a minute, where are you going?" Gemma was already running toward the sound.

"I'll be right back!" she replied before continuing her quest.

"She's rather strange, isn't she?" Pippa asked as they watched Gemma disappear.

"She's bloody brilliant," Felicity responded with a genuine joyful grin.

"Look at this!" Ann exclaimed. She was holding a small rabbit in her hands. "I picked the grass and it turned into this!"

"Let me try!" Pip squealed. She reached down and pulled up some of the green blades. With her eyes closed, she focused all her might. Suddenly bottle of perfume sat in her small fingers. She squirted a bit and smelled the air. Felicity leaned in and smelled some too. It was better than any perfume she had ever smelled.

"My turn," Felicity announced. Instead of using grass, she peeled a long piece of bark from a tree. Her fingers laced around it and she focused on turning it into what was in her mind. When she opened her eyes she was looking at a small marble figuring of a naked man caught in an improper situation.

"That's terrible!" Pippa chided with squeals of delight. Ann blushed deeply, but laughed as well.

"We shall call him Zeus," Felicity responded as she set him down on the ground. "I wonder what else can be done."

"Anything!" Pippa responded.

"Imagine if that toad Cicely could see us now."

"I would love to take this magic back to our world," Ann replied. "I would give her some of her own medicine."

"I really wish you would, Ann," Felicity said honestly. "She treats you like a leper."

"Didn't you teach her everything she knows?" Ann asked with boldness that only the realms could encourage.

Felicity felt as if someone had punched her in the gut. She knew taunting Ann would come back to haunt her one day. "Cicely is an arrogant brat all by herself. But I do apologize for encouraging her behavior for so long."

Ann's ruddy cheeks turned crimson at Felicity's charm. "I forgive you," she replied whole-heartedly.

"Well, that was so very charming," Pippa said sarcastically. "But I want to return to playing with all this magic."

The girls went back to their giddy rounds of playing. Felicity wanted to try everything. She watched as her fingers created some of the most intricate designs and gadgets out of nothing. When Gemma returned, Felicity was experimenting color change with the tree bark. Pippa had made herself a hammock and Ann was at the river playing with the water.

"We simply must come again tomorrow," Felicity said with her arm around Gemma's shoulders. "Can you imagine if that prig Cicely could see us now? She'd be sorry she didn't want to join up."

"Don't!" Gemma shouted as her hand slapped a few berries out of Pippa's hand. Felicity only stood in awe.

"Why not?"

"If you eat them, you have to stay here forever."

"No wonder they look so tempting." Felicity made a mental note not to eat anything here as she continued walking toward the door. When the girls stepped back into the cave they were greeted by the moist, hot air. It felt dreadful after the perfect weather inside the realms.

"That was unbelievable," Ann sighed as she picked up her cloak and candle.

"I'm afraid that if I go to sleep tonight, it will all have just been a dream," Pippa replied. Felicity felt the same. She would not let this night be a figment of her imagination. She would return if it were the last thing she ever did.


	39. Chapter 39

**It's a short one. But lucky for you, readers, I love you so much that I am uploading another chapter today. Enjoy these two chapters. **

The morning after that first taste of freedom in the realms burst forth with an energy that the sun could not even compete with. Felicity awoke to a soft, black curl rested on her bare shoulder. "Good morning," Pippa exclaimed as soon as Felicity's eyes opened long enough to focus on her surroundings. At first Felicity was confused, but the memories wiped all bafflement free.

"Good morning!" she replied as she sat up heartily. "You're up early!"

"Why would I sleep when I have so much to live for?"

"Last night was…I can't find a proper word to describe how I feel."

Pippa laughed and scooted off Felicity's bed. "It was perfect."

"I wish we could go back now."

"I fear today shall never end."

"I won't be able to focus," Felicity admitted with a grin.

"It's not like these spinster teachers have anything worth teaching us."

The conversation continued on in its giddy state until the girls had to get ready for the brimming day. All through the morning classes, Felicity was elsewhere. Her mind twirled through the beautiful garden that she now knew existed outside her mind. Felicity was not the only one with a wandering mind. Ann, Gemma, and Pippa were all smiling sheepishly all day. So much so, that Cecily was visibly upset with them.

Art, as usual, was the only intriguing class. With the combined effort of Felicity and Gemma, Miss Moore allowed the girls to have a free-period. Felicity sculpted a miniature figurine of a naval ship. It was a perfect representation of her father's life—of the life he would rather live than one Felicity was a part of.

More and more, Felicity began to appreciate Miss Moore's lessons. It was as if Miss Moore was cryptically teaching the girls about life, and more importantly, about change. Felicity was learning that change happens first by choice. One has to choose to be different. Suddenly, Abrial-Jolie's refusal to wear women dress seemed like a bold step toward change.

Miss Moore shocked Felicity again when she described that no choices are safe. It occurred to Felicity that everything has a consequence, but not all consequences are bad. She chose to carry on with Ithal, and as a result, she and Gemma became friends. Her father chose to passionately love her which resulted in a strong, confident young woman. But what about Felicity? She wondered if she had a choice when her father came to her. Could she have stopped it? Should she have stopped it?

She decided finally that her father had chosen to take her choice away. But Felicity also knew that this is what society was always trying to do. Women were suppressed and stripped of choice. And that is how they remained in the state they were in. Felicity vowed to make better choices in the future.


	40. Chapter 40

**This one is longer. I hope you all enjoy the read. Reviews would be great, but I understand if you are too busy. I'm pretty busy these days too. **

Felicity's excitement over returning to the realms leaked from her pores on the way to the caves. When she usually would be too tired to function properly, she was alive with the promise of a future worth living. She felt that nothing could go wrong. She was prepared to face the harsh realities of her life; and more so, Felicity was ready to make a change. She marveled in the plans of her future.

Once in the caves, the girls circled up just as they had done the night before. Felicity was not nearly as shocked at the sensations of Gemma's magic as she was the previous night. In fact, the girls were already memorizing every movement under their feet—every shock bursting from the fingers of their friends' hands. The magic was soon to be a craving that's pull was stronger than the lure of alcohol to a drunkard.

The door appeared before the girls just as sure and bright as previously. This time, Gemma opened it without hesitation. Felicity stepped through the archway and inhaled deeply the scents that reminded her of what she missed from her youth.

"Follow me," Gemma said as she led the way to the grotto that she had explored with her mother the previous night.

"Where is she?" Ann asked. Felicity wondered if maybe Gemma had imagined the whole encounter with her mother. She knew how easily it was to mix up what is real from what one longs to be real.

"Mother?" No answer drifted out from the trees.

Pippa, looking apprehensive, leaned in so close to Felicity that she could smell the musky scent on Fee's hair. "What if her mother was never here?" she whispered so only Felicity could hear the accusation.

"Maybe you dreamed it?" Felicity suggested simply.

"She was here! I spoke with her!" Felicity could see the panic in Gemma's green eyes.

"Well, she isn't here now," Ann commented softly.

"Come with us," Pippa encouraged. She reached for Gemma's hand as she added, "We'll have a jolly time. I promise."

Gemma was having none of it. She snatched her hand out of Pippa's grip. "No!"

"Looking for me?" A woman with the same red hair and green eyes as Gemma asked as she strode into view. Her light blue dress was ripped at the bottom, but other than that, Gemma's mother looked completely healthy—and definitely alive.

"Felicity, Pippa, Ann…may I present Virginia Doyle, my mother." Felicity could hear the pride in Gemma's voice. She wondered if she would ever take pride in her own mother. It seemed that she would always be subject to her father's name, but what of her mother. Was she proud to share the same facial features as her mother?

"How do you do?" Felicity responded at the same time as the others.

"I am so very pleased to meet you. What beautiful girls you are." Felicity watched the blushes form on both Pippa and Ann's cheeks. She was not so easily flattered by compliments. Even so, Felicity could not help feeling warmth around Mrs. Doyle. It was some innate maternal quality that Felicity had never realized she missed until she felt it from someone else's mother. "Will you take a stroll with me?"

Pippa instinctively latched onto Felicity's arm as they wandered out into the garden. So tell me about Spence," Mrs. Doyle said simply.

"It's a dreadfully boring place," Felicity answered, honestly. "Especially in comparison to this place."

"I don't mind Spence so much," Ann stated so sure of herself. "It has been home to me. Mrs. Nightwing has treated me very well."

"What about you, Pippa. How do you feel about your school?"

Pippa knitted her eyebrows together in thought. Felicity knew she was trying to come up with a polite way to insult the school. "I will be pleased when I debut," she finally answered. Mrs. Doyle's laugh rang through the trees like music.

"I would much rather be in Paris with my mother." Felicity was showing off, competing for the attention of a woman who actually seemed to care how the girls felt. "Pippa and I shall travel to Paris once school is out. My mother runs a salon."

"Your mother must be a great woman," Mrs. Doyle mused. Felicity wanted to point out that she could not have been more wrong about Mrs. Worthington. Felicity had to fight back an urge to tell Mrs. Doyle everything about herself. She wondered why the urge was so strong. But she was pleased to see that Ann and Pippa were fighting the same battles.

"I attend Spence on scholarship, so I am not particularly excited to leave the school."

"And my mother wants to marry me off to anyone with money. I fear I will be married to some old geezer before I ever even attend any balls."

"I am sure it will all work out fine," Mrs. Doyle responded. "Shall we sit?"

Felicity sat down lightly on the fine silver blanket. Curiosity overcame her and she ran her fingertips over the thread. Each tiny thread gave off a tune so beautiful it almost hurt to hear. "Dear me!" Felicity exclaimed. "Can you hear that? Pippa, you try."

Pippa's hands ran over the spot near her and the melodies that burst through were of a higher pitch. Soon all of the girls were playing the threads like a harp. It set them all to laughing. "Isn't it marvelous? I wonder what else we can do?" Felicity mused when she could breathe evenly again.

"Anything," Mrs. Doyle promised.

"Anything?" Ann replied skeptically.

"In this realm, what you wish can be yours. You have only to know what you want." Felicity imagined everything that was possible if she could do anything. She longed to recreate herself—to erase the past.

"I'll give it a try," Ann said as she stood up. "What should I do?"

"What do you most want? No—don't tell us. Fix it in your mind. Like a wish."

Ann's eyes closed and remained that way for an uncomfortable span of time. Felicity began to look around and wonder if Ann had asked for something that would take awhile to arrive. "Nothing's happened," Felicity whispered after assessing the situation thoroughly. "Has it?"

"I don't know," Pippa answered. "Ann. Ann, are you alright?" In response, Ann began rocking back and forth on her heels. Felicity wandered if Ann had wished to go crazy for a moment. But then all thoughts vanished into thin air. Ann began to sing a melody so strong and pure that Felicity could not listen without feeling a shiver run up her spine. It was the same Ann as always, but the music transformed her into what she would be if life had dealt her a better hand. Her hair began to shine and her cheeks brightened. Soon she was almost as beautiful as Pippa.

Ann, you're beautiful!" Pippa gasped.

"Am I?" She ran over to the river and peered at her reflection. "I am!" A giddy laugh ripped through her chest and morphed into another enchanting melody.

"Incroyable!" Felicity cheered. "I want to try!"

"Me too!" Pippa cried.

Felicity closed her eyes and focused on exactly what she wanted. She pictured it in her mind as best as she could. She pictured herself as strong, transformed by might.

"I don't see him," Pippa said, breaking Felicity's concentration. She opened her eyes and waited to see what would happen next.

"Were you waiting for me, m'lady?" Felicity whipped her head around to see a knight dressed in the most gentlemanly clothing on the market. He dropped down to one knee directly in front of Pippa. "I have frightened you. Forgive me," he begged when Pippa gasped at his sudden movements.

Felicity tried to hide the distaste on her face. "I might have known," she whispered dryly to Gemma because she couldn't bear to say nothing.

Pippa looked happier than Felicity had ever seen her. It was a kick in the gut to see someone else make Pippa so giddy. "You are forgiven," she giggled.

"Where is your champion, m'lady?"

Felicity had to fight the urge to stand and answer his question. "I have no champion," Pippa answered first. Felicity felt nauseous.

"Then I shall ask to have that honor. If the lady would grant me her favor."

Pippa turned toward the others with a smile so big that Felicity could see her molars. "Please tell me that I'm not dreaming this."

"You are not dreaming," Felicity whispered back. "Or else we all are." She wished this could all be a nightmare.

"Noble knight," Pippa squealed. "I shall grant you my favor."

"My life for yours." He bowed and waited patiently. Felicity knew that Pippa had to give him something, but she was not going to be the one to tell Pip that. She enjoyed seeing the awkwardness of the situation.

"I believe you are supposed to give him something of yours, a token of affection," Gemma prompted.

A crimson blush spread across Pippa's cheeks. "Oh." She removed one of her gloves and handed it to the knight.

"M'lady," the knight said as he stood. "I am yours." Felicity watched as Pippa took his arm and was led further into the meadow.

"Any knights for you?" Gemma asked, breaking Felicity's gaze. She shook her head and glanced back to Pippa. "What did you ask for, then?"

"Sheer might," Felicity responded.

"Careful what you wish for," Mrs. Doyle warned. Felicity glanced at the woman, but was not about to take the warning seriously. She knew what she wanted and it did not matter what she had to do to get it. Suddenly and arrow whistled past the girls heads and lodged itself into a tree directly behind them. Felicity regarded it coolly.

"You might have killed us," Gemma sighed. Felicity followed her gaze. Out of the woods came a huntress wearing only a quiver carrying a bow and arrows. Felicity felt her cheeks warm as her gaze traveled up the length of the huntress's body.

"But I didn't," she responded as she walked nearer. The huntress's eyes met Felicity's for a moment, but Felicity did not break the gaze. "You're not afraid, I see."

Felicity could sense that the huntress was not only talking about the arrow now. She was testing her. And Felicity would not back down. "No," she answered as she made her way to the tree. With a hard pull, the arrow broke free. "Merely curious." Her index finger ran over the sharp point and she wondered what it would be like to shoot something that could possibly kill.

"Are you a huntress?"

"No. My father used to hunt. He said it was the sport he admired most."

"But you did not accompany him?"

A memory flashed through Felicity's mind. She remembered the time she had begged her father to take her along on a hunting trip. She was probably only five at the time, but her father was insistent that a young lady belongs in the home. "Only sons are allowed to hunt. Not daughters."

The huntress stepped closer to Felicity and snaked her fingers around Felicity's upper arm. Her grip was tight, almost painfully tight. "There is great strength in this arm. You might prove to be a very skilled huntress. Very powerful." The word _powerful_ charges the air with electricity. "Would you like to learn?" The huntress held out the bow and arrow to Felicity with an encouraging smile.

Felicity smiled and grabbed the bow without another word. She was confident that she could do this. And even if she couldn't, Felicity was prepared to do whatever it took to become a powerful huntress.

"There's a snake coiled around the limb of that tree," the huntress said with a finger outstretched.

Felicity closed one eye and focused only on the snake. She pulled the string back as far as she could get it and released. The arrow flew straight into the air and then is skidded across the ground. Felicity immediately wished that she would have waited to do this in private. Her embarrassment was erased when the huntress began to clap heartily.

"A solid effort. You might be a huntress yet. But first, you must observe." Felicity followed slowly behind the huntress as she drifted further from Gemma and Mrs. Doyle. "Now, it takes more than strength to be a huntress. You must be focused, determined, and skilled. I believe you have the skill, but I am not sure about the other traits."

"You have only to teach me, and I will learn," Felicity responded confidently.

"Very well," the huntress replied as she came to a sudden stop. "The correct way to stand is like this." Felicity observed the angle of her body, the way her hips were squared and ready to move at any moment. "When you hold the bow always aim higher than your target. How high to point is a skill that cannot be taught. You must learn for yourself. What separates a good huntress from a great one is the natural ability to read the situation."

The huntress stopped talking long enough to send an arrow buzzing toward a nearby tree. It landed exactly as aimed on a small branch near the top of the tree. How she managed to direct the arrow onto something so high up and small was a shock to Felicity. "Your turn," the huntress said as she handed the bow over. "Place the arrow in the bow like this." The huntress's cold hands directed Felicity's in the correct manner. "Now, I want you to aim at that fallen tree over there. Do you see that spot where the bark has died?" Felicity nodded. "I want you to shoot the arrow directly into the center of that spot."

Felicity closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she had relaxed, she pulled the bow up. It was just heavy enough to cause her to stumble clumsily with it for a second. When she had regained her balance, she focused her intention on the spot. Just as the huntress had shown, Felicity squared her body. She pulled the string back and aimed a little higher that her target. With another deep breath she let go of the string. The arrow ripped through the air and hit the trunk just a little too high from the target.

"Very good," the huntress applauded. "You have a lot of natural ability. Try again."

Felicity fired another four arrows before hitting her spot perfectly. When the arrow hit the target, Felicity squealed and turned to the huntress. "I did it!"

"Don't be so surprised," the huntress responded. "Confidence and courage are must haves to hunt properly. Now do as you just did at a target further away."

Felicity obeyed. Soon she had figured out which angles to focus the point of the arrow in order to hit different targets. She wasn't perfect yet, but she was learning fast. Her arm was aching by the time the huntress called it quits. "Next time you come, I will teach you how to shoot on the run."

"Am I ready for that?" Felicity asked as she handed the quiver back.

"I wouldn't teach it if I didn't see great strength in you. You are ready. Can you find your way back to your friends?"

"Yes," Felicity answered. Her eyes were already scanning their environment, searching for the direction they came from.

"Remember to always mark your trail. Getting lost can ruin a perfectly wonderful expedition."

"I know where I am," Felicity lied.

"Very well then. Until next time." Without another word the huntress disappeared. Felicity turned around and began to walk the direction she thought they had come from. It took her a little longer than expected, but soon she found some broken twigs that made a trail out to the meadow. As she walked toward her friends, she could hear Pippa's giddy exclamations.

"Have you ever heard of anything half so romantic? Can you bear it?"

"Barely," Felicity answered honestly. "That's not as easy as it looks, I can tell you. My arm will ache for a week." She moved her sore shoulder in circles, wincing with each sharp tug.

"What are those?" Ann asked when she returned. Her fingers pointed at the tall crystals arranged in a circle behind Mrs. Doyle.

"Those are the Runes of the Oracle, the heart of the realm." Gemma walked nearer to one. "Don't touch them."

"Why not?" Felicity asked.

"You must understand how the magic of the realms works first, how to control it, before you can let it live in you and use it on the other side."

"We can take this sort of power with us to our world?" Ann asked, intrigued by the idea.

"Yes, but not yet. Once the Order is reestablished they can teach you. It's not safe until then."

"Why not?" Gemma pushed.

"It's been such a long time since the magic here has been used. There's no telling what could happen. Something could get out. Or come in."

Felicity allowed the words to sink in as she moved closer. "They're humming," she mused when she was close enough to hear the sounds coming from them.

"Their energy is very powerful."

"How exactly does it work?" Gemma asked next.

"When you touch the runes, it's as if you become the magic itself. It flows through your veins. And then you are able to do in the other world what you can do here in the realms."

Felicity could not resist the urge to see for herself. Her hand moved closer to the large crystal. "Strange. It stopped humming as I got near."

Felicity watched as Gemma's hand reached out too. Her eyes fluttered shut and her hand inched toward the rune slowly. "Gemma!" Mrs. Doyle barked, breaking the hold the rune had on Gemma.

"Wh-what was that?"

"You are the conduit," Mrs. Doyle answered. "The magic flows through you."

Felicity allowed that realization to sink in. She knew that without Gemma she could do nothing—that without Gemma she was powerless. The pain of this realization was almost as hurtful as Pippa's obvious disinterestedness in Felicity. But, Felicity pushed the thoughts from her mind and focused on the power itself. She could only imagine what it would be like to have the power in the other world.

"Can you imagine it? If we had this power at Spence?" she asked as she fell back onto her elbows.

"We could do as we wish," Ann answered.

"I'd have a closest filled with the latest fashions. And bushels of money," Pippa imagined.

"I'd be invisible for a day," Felicity said as the pictures of the damage she could do to others drifted through her mind. She saw herself wreaking havoc through the halls.

"I wouldn't be," Ann responded. Felicity felt a pang knowing that Ann already was invisible.

"I could ease Father's pain," Gemma mused.

"No," Mrs. Doyle responded.

"Why not?" Gemma whined.

"We'd be careful," Pippa added.

"Yes, terribly careful," Felicity chimed, utilizing the full force of her charm. Mrs. Doyle crushed the yarn she had in her hand and flashed Felicity the kind of stare that intimidates even the strongest of people.

"Tapping into this power is not a game. It is hard work. It takes preparation, not the wild curiosity of overeager schoolgirls." Felicity's nostrils flared at the insult, but she was too frightened to respond.

Gemma, however, was not. "We are not overeager."

Felicity braced herself for the anger that was sure to come. Instead though, Mrs. Doyle placed her hand on her daughters arm and smiled warmly. "When it is time," she promised.

Silence dragged on as the fire in everyone's eyes settled. Pippa suddenly broke the tension away. "What are these markings?"

"It's an ancient language, older than Greek and Latin," Mrs. Doyle answered. Felicity glanced at the runes trying to decipher meaning from the odd shapes.

"But what does it say?" Ann asked.

"I change the world; the world changes me."

"What does that mean?" Pippa asked confused. Felicity understood completely, but waited to see what Mrs. Doyle would say.

"Everything you do comes back to you. When you affect a situation, you are also affected."

Before anyone could respond to the words of wisdom spoken by Mrs. Doyle, the knight returned. "M'lady!" Without another word, he began serenading Pippa with a lute.

"Isn't he perfection?" Pippa giggled at his song. "I think I shall die from happiness. I want to dance—come with me!" Pippa pulled Ann from the ground and dragged her toward the knight.

Felicity, seeing no way to avoid the situation, stood and brushed off her skirts. "Are you coming?" she asked Gemma before wandering off toward the others.

"I'll be there in a moment."

Felicity reached Ann and Pippa much quicker than she wanted. "Fee!" Pippa squealed; her hand reached out and caught Felicity's. "Dance with us!" Soon, Felicity was twirling and spinning along with Pippa and Ann to the music. There was no denying that he was quite good.

"Gemma!" Felicity shouted when some time had passed. "You're missing out on all the sport!" Gemma stood up after a few unheard words exchanged with her mother and wandered toward the dancing group. "It's time to dance!" Felicity shouted.

The girls danced and played while the knight serenaded the group. Soon they were all holding hands and spinning as fast as they could. The world was one giant blur of color around Felicity as she pulled tighter to the girls. Defying gravity, she leaned back and allowed the movement of their feet to hold her upright. "Whatever you do, don't let go!" she shouted happily.

At some point someone got too dizzy to hold on. Soon all four girls were sprawled out on the grass. Their laughter colored the air. The knight stood to help Pippa stand up. With a small kiss on her hand, he wished her goodbye. The blush on her cheeks did not fade until she was tucked into the comfort of her bed.

"Wasn't that marvelous?" Pip whispered into the darkness.

Felicity was almost asleep already, but she had enough energy to answer that one question. "Yes." It was one word, but honest in every way. The power of sleep overcame Felicity, blocking out whatever Pippa asked next.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41...AND 42...Have arrived. Be happy; be very happy. Just Kidding. But anyway, as always I hope my story is satisfactory to your tastes. Things are getting good. **

Felicity woke the next morning to a sunny morning with not a cloud in the sky. She sat up and was immediately drawn back down by the ache in her shoulder. It stretched all the way down her back. A wince escaped just loud enough to wake Pippa.

"Your shoulder sore?" Pippa mumbled as she sat up.

"Very much so."

"Why must we wait all day to return?"

"Because I need some time to relax the muscles in my shoulder if I am supposed to hunt again tonight," Felicity answered, actually glad that she had a whole day ahead of her to recuperate.

"But I want to see my knight." Pippa's whiny tone put Felicity in a fowl mood.

"I want to see the realms, but we must wait. Now get up. We're going to be late." Felicity pulled herself out of bed and wandered toward her dressing screen. Before removing her night clothes, she lifted her right arm into the air. The stretch was a welcome pain. She wondered why something could both hurt and feel good at the same time.

"Someone is cranky this morning," Pip mumbled as she fell out of bed. "Don't be cross, Fee." Pippa's hands braced tightly around Felicity's sore shoulder. Soon her fingers were kneading the spot where all the tension resided. Felicity gasped at the pain, but leaned back into Pip's working hands. "Does that help?"

"Yes," Felicity responded, wincing.

"Good." Pippa stopped the massage after a few minutes and laced her arms around Felicity's waist. The embrace was warm and friendly, the way it always was with Pippa. "I want you to relax. There is no need to be cross when we have so much to live for."

"Thank you," Felicity said because she could not find any other fitting response. "For the massage."

"You're welcome!" Pippa kissed Felicity's cheek quickly before scurrying to her side of the room. Felicity turned to watch her beautiful friend stumble around looking for her clothes. She was reminded of the knight and everything he could be for Pippa. It was enough to almost put her in a bad mood again, but Felicity would not stand for that. She focused on the way it felt to be hugged and loved by her friend. Even if Pippa couldn't love Felicity the same way Felicity did her, it was enough to have her in whatever way she did.


	42. Chapter 42

**So I was looking through my very worn down copy of AGATB today and realized suddenly that I am almost all the way through it with this fanfic. I can't believe how incredibly fast I have been writing (with exception of the past week). I guess it shows how passionate I am about this story. I hope everyone is feels the same warmth and dedication to these characters. I don't know what I will do with myself when I finish this story. Don't worry too much though. We still have a lot of story to be told :)**

The bright light of the realms was no longer a painful sight in contrast to the darkness of the caves. It was as if Felicity's eyes were becoming accustomed to the garden and reality was always just a little too dark to make out anything real.

As soon as the girls were through the door, they wandered off their separate ways. Gemma headed toward the grotto to find her mother; Pippa wandered off toward the sound of her knight's lute. Ann was immediately singing a melodious song that gave Felicity goose bumps. Felicity, for her part, headed toward the woods.

The huntress stepped out from behind a tree as Felicity neared. "You returned?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Is your shoulder sore?"

"A little," Felicity lied. "I can still practice today though."

"Of course you will practice," the huntress responded dryly. "A true warrior works through pain. Remember, pain is relative. It could always be worse." Felicity only nodded. "Follow me; I brought you something."

Felicity followed a few steps behind the huntress till they stopped at a tall rock, deep within the cover of trees. The huntress reached behind the rock and pulled out a quiver much like her own. "You need your own to practice. This is the one I learned on."

"You're giving this to me?" Felicity asked.

"I'm letting you borrow it. It has too much sentimental value to give to anyone."

Felicity felt the quiver in her hand. The bow weighed it down, but it was still a little lighter than the one the huntress carried. She counted the arrows and realized that it was only lighter because there were fewer arrows. "Thank you," Felicity finally managed to choke out. "I will be most careful with it."

"You're welcome." The huntress took a second to listen around her. "Today we learned how to shoot on the run. You will need to remove your clothes."

"What?" Felicity was not accustomed to going naked in public. She was not accustomed to anything but the British code of conduct in which modesty was key.

"You will not be able to keep up with me if you are weighed down by all those layers. Do not be shy in your body. Remember, we are all born naked; it is how we are meant to be. And to be an expert huntress, you must be one with nature. Nature is naked."

Felicity could not argue with the huntress's logic. That did not relieve any of her nerves though. She slowly undressed; she was relieved in the small favor that the huntress did not watch. Soon Felicity stood completely nude in front of her teacher. The huntress's eyes grazed slowly over Felicity's form. It was enough to make her uncomfortable under the inspection. "You have a strong body," the huntress finally concluded. "You will be a great huntress."

"Thank you," Felicity mumbled. She had no idea if that was the correct response to the compliment.

"Here is what we will do today: I will run and fire arrows on the go. When my arrow sticks, I will call out either right or left. Depending on where I call, you will shoot yours at that target. We will not stop running until you are out of arrows. This drill will teach you more than just shooting while running. You will have to be quick on your feet, agile, and flexible. Prepare to fall a few times. You might get a little beat up."

Felicity accepted the challenge as she pulled the quiver over her naked form. It was warm outside, but she still felt a little cold because of the draft. Her nerves were disappearing with each confident breath. Soon the huntress took off running. Felicity's legs kicked into gear directly behind her.

At first, Felicity stumbled over tree roots and rocks. Her legs were bruised and bloody, but she continued on. The huntress was very fast. Felicity tried her hardest to keep up, but was always at least ten steps behind. Felicity's arrows were rarely lodged in the correct targets. Just as she was getting the hang of how to angle her body on the run, Felicity reached back to find that she was out of arrows.

"I'm out of arrows!" she shouted out. The huntress turned suddenly and jogged back.

"We must go back and retrieve the arrows then," she replied with a smile.

Felicity's lungs felt ready to explode as her breaths puffed out in small, loud increments. The huntress had barely even broken a sweat, but Felicity was dripping. Her shoulder was no longer in pain, but her legs and everything else was. "We will walk so you can catch your breath," the huntress added. "With practice you will be able to run faster and longer without so much effort."

"How long will it take?" Felicity asked sarcastically in between breaths.

"Patience is a virtue," the huntress responded with a wry smile. "Come."

Felicity walked slowly behind the huntress as they began to retrieve the arrows. When she could breathe normally again, Felicity found the courage to ask some questions. "What is your name?" she asked first.

"I am a huntress; I have no name."

"What about when you weren't a huntress? Did you have a name then?"

The huntress closed her eyes and seemed to disappear to a different time. Felicity wondered if the huntress could even remember a time when she wasn't what she had become. "I was born with the Christian name Naomi. But at five, I began to hunt. My teacher told me that to have a name is to break away from nature. So I was no longer called by that name."

"Is that why you have never asked my name?"

"Precisely."

"What do you do when I am not here?"

"I hunt," she responded.

"All the time?"

"Well sometimes I eat. And I sleep too."

"Do you have friends?" Felicity asked as she pulled another arrow out of a tree.

"Some."

"Do they hunt with you?"

"Sometimes."

"Do you have a man to love?"

"Sometimes."

Just as Felicity was going to ask another question, a soft voice was carried through the trees. In the distance Felicity could see the knight and Pippa sitting in the grass. They seemed to be in conversation about something serious. "Are you coming?" the huntress asked when Felicity did not follow her closer to the conversation that was taking place.

"Why are we going over there?"

"Because our arrows are in that tree." She pointed at a tree just past Pippa and the knight. Felicity did not want to be seen by them, especially in her nude state.

"Is there any way not to be seen by them?"

"Of course," the huntress responded. "Just follow me silently." Felicity did as she was told. The huntress led her out further away and Pippa's voice disappeared. But soon they were creeping behind trees so close to the pair that the whole conversation could be heard.

"I just wish my parents could see me as more than a beautiful face—a product," Pippa sighed.

"It is their loss that they cannot see how virtuous you are, m'lady."

"I worry that they will marry me off to the highest bidder."

"If I could leave this place forever and go with you, I would. I would marry you before morning." Felicity imagined the reaction Pippa was surely having. Her cheeks were probably coloring beautifully and the knight probably could not even understand why she cared so much.

"I would love that," Pippa answered. Felicity dipped low behind a bush as she moved slowly behind the huntress who seemed to not even care about the conversation that was taking place.

"What about your friends? They seem to care for you."

Pippa took an extra moment to respond. "Felicity cares for me. Other than that, I am not sure."

"Felicity is the blonde, right m'lady?"

"Yes."

"Why don't the other two care for you?"

"Well, I think Ann admires me. She is jealous. And Gemma has every right to hate me."

"How could anyone hate you?" Felicity knew the answer to that question. It was easy to hate Pippa sometimes; the hard part was hating her for long periods of times.

"Because Gemma wishes to be good friends with Felicity. And I have not been very kind to her as a result."

"You don't want Felicity to have other friends?"

"I want her to like me best," Pippa responded shyly.

"Does she like you best?"

"I don't know. She certainly knows me best."

"Better than I do, m'lady?"

Felicity was having a hard time making out the rest of the conversation as they moved further out. "Better than anyone ever will," Pippa answered. She added something that Felicity could not hear. The huntress stopped suddenly and pulled both arrows out of their spots.

From the spot they were at, Felicity could see Pippa clearly, but she couldn't hear even a glimmer of the conversation taking place. The knight had Pippa's hand tightly wound in his own. Felicity did not know she was staring until the huntress interrupted her thoughts.

"Have you told her yet?"

"Told her what?" Felicity asked confused.

"How you feel."

"What do you mean?"

"Have you told her that you love her?"

"What makes you think that I love her?" Felicity wondered if she was that transparent. Could Gemma and Ann see it? Was she made of glass?

"I'm a huntress. My job is to notice everything about nature. I know when an animal is in heat. I know when a bird sings mating calls. And I know when a human loves another."

Felicity did not know how to respond. She had always thought she was so good at hiding her feelings, but obviously not. "I can't tell her how I feel," Felicity finally said.

"Why not?"

"Because it isn't right, my feelings for her. It is perverted and disgusting."

"Maybe out there it is," the huntress responded, pointing toward nothing in particular. "But here, you are free to do as you please. You can be whomever you want. And you most definitely can love whomever you want."

"I don't live here though," Felicity responded.

"That leaves you with two options then," the huntress said. "You either eat a berry and stay. Or, you can change the way things are out there."

Felicity looked at her companion and thought out her options. Neither seemed particularly appealing. "Neither of those will work if she doesn't feel the same for me."

"What makes you think she doesn't?"

"Look at her," Felicity commanded. "She is soaking up every single one of his compliments as we speak. She obviously is infatuated with him."

"Infatuation is not love," the huntress answered.

"Infatuation leads to love."

"Or disinterestedness."

"What makes you think she could ever love me?" Felicity growled.

"Why wouldn't she? From what I gather, you are her best friend. Did you not hear her talking back there? She wants you to like her best. She needs to know that you do. She deserves to know that you love her."

"And what good will that do?" Felicity cried. She was on the verge of tears.

"What harm will it do?" A tear slipped from Felicity's eyes and dropped onto the grass under her feet. A pretty flower grew in the place it landed. "The longer you hide your feelings, the more you will learn to hate yourself."

"What if she rejects me?" Felicity whimpered. She hated herself for being so weak.

"Then at least you know that you tried." The answer was too simple. Felicity knew that if Pip rejected her love, she would never recover. Her love was not something that could be forgotten at the drop of a hat. "Let's go one more time," the huntress said, softening. "I promise the hunt will relax you again."

Felicity nodded once and wiped away the tears. Soon she was running behind her teacher and friend. The huntress was right. Felicity forgot all about the pain of the conversation. All that remained was a parcel of doubt somewhere inside Felicity's stomach.

**Review if you want to make me smile :D just like that.**


	43. Chapter 43

**Another day, another chapter. There are so many chapters coming up soon that I can't wait to write. If I find time, I intend to write as much as possible as soon as possible :)**

If Felicity thought she was sore after her first lesson in archery, she must have felt on the brink of death after the second lesson. Her once pale, slender legs were spotted in black and blue. Little scrapes and cuts criss-crossed their way up her body. Her corset pulled tight on a particularly large cut, causing Felicity to be uncomfortable all day.

Even with all the pain, Felicity was content. She marveled in her aches because it meant she was doing something that was a challenge. She wouldn't trade the pain for comfort if it meant giving in. She felt like a true warrior.

When the girls spilled into the realms the following night, they were all eager to get to their normal activities. Felicity ran straight for the cover of the woods where she had left the quiver yesterday. When she reached the fallen tree with just enough space under it to hide her gear, she slipped easily out of her clothes.

"You seem much more confident today," a voice rang out as Felicity removed the last of her undergarments. She spun around to find the huntress perched in a tree nearby.

"How long have you been there?" Felicity gasped.

"Long enough to see your excitement. By the way, you look like you could use a swim."

"A swim?"

"Yes," the huntress responded cryptically. "Follow me." Felicity pulled the quiver over her head and jogged to catch up with the already moving huntress. "Shall we run?"

"Sure," Felicity mumbled. Her legs were aching, but she would not appear weak. Soon the two naked hunters were flying through the woods at full speed. Felicity felt her legs stretch the more that she pushed them. She was surprised at how good it felt to move. The air in her hair and the soil under her feet empowered her. She even kept up with the huntress.

"You've improved," the huntress said as she slowed to a walk.

"Where are we?" Felicity had never ventured this far into the woods.

"A place I like to come to think," the huntress responded. Felicity could hear the sound of running water and birds in the distance. Soon the trees became further apart and smaller. It wasn't long before they stepped out of the woods for good. "Only natives know about this place. It is one of the few safe spots to swim."

"Safe how?"

"There are no predators in this water." As she said it, Felicity turned a corner to see a large lake of crystal clear water in the distance. A massive waterfall drained into the pool at its bottom.

"How does it not overflow?" Felicity asked, seeing no place for the water to drain.

"The women of the Order once made it with the magic. The water itself soaks into the soil and returns to the top. If you climb the rocks to the top, you will see that there is no river pushing the water. It just forms from the ground."

"It's beautiful."

"Yes," the huntress responded with a smile. "Shall we swim? Or do you want to climb to the top?"

"How would we get down?" Felicity asked. She didn't see a route down other than to jump, and that option seemed a little too risky.

"We jump. It's safe; I promise."

"Let's just swim first," Felicity said. The huntress chuckled, but agreed. They walked to the shore together. The huntress pulled her quiver over her head easily and dove into the water before Felicity had even begun to remove hers.

Once Felicity was ready, she stepped into the clear depths. She was shocked when she did not reach the bottom on that first step. Her whole body sunk below the surface before she emerged back up, treading as she coughed some of the water out of her mouth. "There's no shallow water?" she spewed.

"Of course not."

"You could have warned me," she growled.

"You saw me dive in." The huntress had a valid point. Felicity rolled her eyes and began to swim. The water was warm, but not hot. It was refreshing on her sore muscles. "The water adjusts temperatures based on the swimmer," the huntress said, reading her mind. "If I were to get out now, it would probably change to what your body needs most."

Felicity smiled and dove under the blue surface. She opened her eyes under the depths and peered around her. The bottom, which was much too deep for her to ever touch, sparkled as if a million little diamonds were lining the floor. When she came back up for air, the huntress was nowhere to be found. Felicity dove back under and looked around. When she came back up she was actually frantic.

"Huntress!" she called.

"Here!" Felicity turned her head toward the voice. The huntress was already almost half way up the rocky slope leading to the top. "Come on! I want to show you something."

Felicity, seeing no way to back out of it, swam to the edge of the rocks. She could see where the huntress had stepped and held onto based on the foot and handprints that moistened the red rock. Felicity braced herself and began to climb the exact steps the huntress had taken.

"What are you doing?" Felicity shouted when the huntress began moving left instead of up.

"Just follow obediently. You will see." Felicity was confused, but continued on regardless. The huntress disappeared under the water. As Felicity neared the water soaked rock, she saw that there was a small cave behind the fold of the waterfall. "This is the tricky part," the huntress called from somewhere that Felicity couldn't see. "When you get to the edge of the fall, reach your arm out. You will find one jagged rock edge. Hold onto that with all your strength. If you let go, you will get swiped up into the waterfall."

"Will it hurt if I do?" Felicity shouted, scared for the first time since they began lessons.

"No. You will just have to climb all the way back up." Felicity took a deep breath and moved until she was at the edge. Her left arm reached out and felt around for a jagged rock. She found it and held on hard.

"Now what?"

"Move your other arm over it. There is a similar feeling rock up a little higher. You will want to have one hand on each."

Felicity had to lift her right leg onto a jut in the rock to lift her body high enough to find the other holding spot. When she had both hands gripping tightly, she yelled, "I'm holding on!"

"This is the best part," the huntress called. "Use your legs to push off the rock towards the waterfall. Do not let go until your legs are inside the cave. As long as you push hard enough, you will have enough momentum to land safely in the cave."

Felicity looked down at the clear pool of warm water and closed her eyes. With one deep breath, she launched her legs off the rocks with all her strength. She felt her legs break through the water and reach cool, dry air. With a push from her arms, she flew through the water and landed on hard rock. Her body skidded to a stop right in front of the huntress.

"You will need to work on your dismount," the huntress laughed. "But you did it. Good job."

Felicity stood up and peered at all the new scrapes and bruises that she had accumulated from this trip. Finally, giving in, she used the magic to heal all of them. "I was wondering when you were going to do that," the huntress laughed.

"I didn't want to appear weak. But I am in a lot of pain," Felicity answered.

"I do not judge. You lasted longer than most."

Felicity smiled once and looked out toward the waterfall. The scenery was beautiful. Through the clear water Felicity could see the whole woods. The sky seemed close enough to touch. Her breath caught in her throat as she peered out into the beauty. She never wanted to leave this spot.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" the huntress mused.

"Yes."

"You should bring your friend here, when you tell her."

Felicity turned her head to look at her teacher. It almost hurt to peel her eyes away from the beautiful sight through the water. "I'm not going to tell her. She is happy. I won't complicate things for her."

"You know that you are going to be the one who loses if you do this.

"If she is happy, then I don't care how I feel. I will be happy just knowing that she is."

"Self-sacrificial love, the strongest of them all."

"She deserves her knight," Felicity growled. She no longer wanted to have these conversations. They were frustrating her beyond belief.

"And who do you deserve?" the huntress asked sympathetically.

"I don't need anyone besides myself."

"You need your red-head friend."

"Gemma?" Felicity asked with a snort. "I don't need Gemma for anything."

"Except coming here," the huntress pointed out. Felicity tried to hide her frown, but was unsuccessful. "I know a way you could come here all by yourself."

"A sacrifice? I know."

"I would give you the power yourself if you made the sacrifice."

"I'm not going to kill someone," Felicity announced.

"You don't have to kill a person. An animal will do. And you are a huntress. You kill animals anyway." Felicity could not believe she was actually having this conversation. She would never turn her back on Gemma—at least, she hoped she never would. But she couldn't deny the excitement brimming under her skin at the idea of having power of her own.

"I'm not going to do," Felicity finally answered. "Now let's go hunt. How do we get down?"

"Like this." The huntress stood up and walked to the back of the cave. Her legs bounded quickly across the cave floor and launched her body through the water. Felicity leaned over the edge to see if the huntress was alright, but she could not see anything. With yet another nervous breath, Felicity did exactly as she saw.

Her body broke past the waterfall and fell-freely toward the water. Felicity knew that she should have been scared, but she felt exhilarated. As she floated through the air toward the sparkling water, she thought about the complete freedom she had in the realms. She was in love with that place. When her toes emerged in the water first, she closed her eyes and felt the warmth encompass her. Submerged completely, Felicity smiled because she now knew what living was really about.


	44. Chapter 44

**Another 2 chapter day. I hope you readers do enjoy :)**

After one round of shooting on the run, the huntress suggested that Felicity learn the basics of hand-to-hand combat. At first Felicity was skeptically, but she gave in at the persuasive hands of her teacher. Soon the pair was rolling around in the dirt, fighting and clawing at each others' skin.

The huntress was much stronger than Felicity. As a result, Felicity managed to get pinned down and beaten too many times to count. Finally, she realized that it would take some extra thought on her part to win. She began to anticipate her opponent's movements. Felicity channeled all her frustration into her fight and soon managed to win a round.

"Very good," the huntress announced. "You finally learned to use your head. To win a fight you must do more than fight harder than your opponent. You must out-think them. You must be quick and clever."

"Do you think I am both of those?"

"I think you are learning fast."

Felicity was satisfied with that answer. "Now what?"

"You return to your friends. Our lesson is over for today."

"I'll see you tomorrow then," Felicity responded as a goodbye. The huntress had already begun walking the opposite direction of the grotto. Felicity turned on her heel and sprinted to the rock where her clothes were waiting. Before slipping them back on, she used the magic to clean all the dirt and twigs off her beat up body. She did not heal her wounds this time.

When she was fully clothed, she found Gemma and Mrs. Doyle sitting on a blanket in the grotto discussing Mrs. Nightwing and the other Spence employees. Pippa was lying in her hammock with the knight. "Where's Ann?" Felicity asked as she neared the two red-heads.

"I'm right here," she answered as she appeared from behind one of the arches with a basket full of flowers in her hand.

"Are you ready to go?" Mrs. Doyle asked the group.

"Not yet!" Pippa called from her shaded place.

"Can we stay a little longer, please?" Gemma begged. Mrs. Doyle glanced around slowly. Her eyes met with the little girl in white that always seemed to be nearby. She nodded once and the girl disappeared.

"I will see you tomorrow. But it is time for you to leave."

"Fine," Gemma replied as she stood up angrily. "Tomorrow then." Her face softened when her mother stood and kissed her cheek. Felicity wondered if she could ever feel that close with her own mother.

Felicity glanced over just in time to see the knight lean down and kiss Pippa. It was a chaste kiss, but still enough to bring color to Pippa's cheeks. Felicity knew it was the first time Pippa had ever been kissed for real. And that understanding drove her mad. She knew she shouldn't feel that way, but she did.

"Are you alright, Fee?" Gemma asked with her hand on Felicity's arm.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Felicity responded as she gave Gemma one full-toothed grin.

"Let's go then," Pippa interrupted as she hurried toward the door. "Before I change my mind and stay forever."

Felicity rolled her eyes and jogged to catch up. When she reached Pip, she laced her arm through her friends and slowed their pace. "He kissed you." It was not a question; merely an observation.

"It was so romantic!" Pippa squealed. "He asked my permission first, like a true gentleman."

"That's great." The sarcasm in Felicity's tone was not missed by Pippa.

"You don't like him?"

"It's not that, Pip. It's just that I think you should maybe find someone different."

"Why? What's wrong with him?"

Felicity tried to find a polite way of saying what was on her mind. "He's not real, Pip. He's a figment of your imagination."

"He is real!" Pippa stopped walking and ripped her arm out of Felicity's grip. "Just because he can't be out there, doesn't mean he isn't any less real! He loves me!" Her voice broke and a tear escaped.

"He doesn't know you!" Felicity shouted. Immediately she regretted it.

"What's going on here?" Gemma asked as she approached. "Pippa, what happened?" Gemma's eyes darted back and forth between the blonde and brunette.

"What I meant was," Felicity softened. "He loved you before he knew you at all. He thinks your perfect no matter what you say or do."

"What is so wrong with that?"

"He loves the illusion of you—of what he imagines you to be."

Another solitary tear fell from Pippa's violet eye. "It's better than no love at all." The response was enough to completely alter Felicity's opinions. She now knew that she had to tell Pippa how she felt. The huntress was right; Pippa deserved to know that there was one person who loved her exactly as she was.

"I think you two are great for each other," Ann interjected while Felicity tried to find the words to say to her distraught friend.

"Thank you, Ann," Pippa replied with a big smile and a kiss on the cheek. "At least somebody does." Her eyes met with Felicity's for a brief second before pulling away.

Without another word exchanged the girls stepped back though the doors into the cold caves. The hurried back to school silently. It wasn't until they were hidden safely in the comfort of their rooms that Felicity found something worth saying to her angry friend.

"I'm sorry, Pippa. I meant everything I said, but maybe I shouldn't have said it. Maybe there are some things better left unsaid."

"Do you think I will ever find a man here that can love me?"

Felicity struggled to find an answer. She wasn't ready to tell Pippa how she felt yet. She knew she would eventually, but now was not the right time. "I don't think there are men here that can see past your beauty and into your soul. That being said, I know you will find love from someone other than your knight. You just have to look a little closer."

Pippa turned to look at her friend. Felicity felt those violet eyes assessing her. It was more painful and embarrassing than when the huntress had first observed her naked. "I love my knight," Pippa said. "Is that so wrong? Is it bad that I love the dream more than the reality?"

"No," Felicity responded knowing that she too loved her dream world best. "As long as you remember that it is just a dream. And all dreams end."

"I know," Pippa whispered. To Felicity, it did not sound like she meant it. A knot formed in her stomach when she realized that Pippa might choose the knight over her. She made the choice to do whatever it took to persuade her friend that she was the better choice. And for a reason Felicity did not understand, she knew that a big part of convincing Pippa that she was better was linked to being better—better than everyone; better than Gemma. Better, to Felicity, was powerful.


	45. Chapter 45

**Review Review Review**

"So, I'm not saying that I'm interested, but hypothetically, if I were…how would I make that sacrifice?" Felicity and the huntress were at the edge of the grotto, shooting of arrows at a speed and precision that impressed their audience. As a result, Felicity leaned in close and whispered her question.

"It's simple really," the huntress replied quietly, her forehead pressed against Felicity's. "You make a sacrifice, the bigger the better, and then you summon the door. Once you come in, I will give you even more power—enough power to take with you out there."

Felicity felt a fist form on the inside of her gut, as if the question alone was a betrayal of Gemma. But when she glanced to her left to find Pippa and the knight walking hand-in-hand, the feelings vanished. Her insides were as calm as the smooth lake near Spence.

"Fee," Gemma shouted from her spot on the grass. "You've become quite good."

"Thank you," she replied. For sport, Felicity lifted her bow and sent one arrow zipping past Gemma and into the tree behind her. She beamed with pride while Gemma rolled her eyes.

"I have to leave for today," the huntress said from behind Felicity's laughing body. "You have learned well. There is not much else I can teach you."

"You will still come tomorrow, right?" A ball formed in Felicity's throat and tears threatened to fall. She had grown attached to her teacher.

"If you want a hunting partner, then my answer is yes. But there is not much else I can teach you about hunting."

"But there are _other_ things you can teach, right?"

"Yes," the huntress replied solemnly. "You still have much to learn about _other _subjects. Do you want to see me tomorrow then?"

"Yes."

"I will meet you here, then." The huntress turned and wandered off before Felicity could respond. A giggle from nearby broke Felicity's curious thoughts apart. Pippa was approaching.

"Fee!" she squealed. "I have a question!"

"Well, ask it then," she replied dryly.

"My knight believes that you also hunt naked when you disappear into the cover of trees. Is it true?" Felicity's eyes met the dark blue eyes of the knight's and did not break hold as she spoke.

"It is true."

"That's dreadful! If I didn't know you better, I would say you were secretly a Sapphist and in love with the huntress!"

Felicity wanted to run and hide her embarrassment away. She knew Pippa was only joking, but her prediction was not too far off from reality. Would Pippa think it any more _dreadful_ if she knew that Felicity was secretly a Sapphist who was in love with her best friend? "Do you do anything naughty out there?" Pippa added with a giggle.

"All the time," Felicity responded, going along with the joke in order to protect her secret. "In fact, just last night, we rolled around on top of each other in the dirt. It was all very sensual."

Pippa gasped, but her laughter betrayed her attempt at the shocked British girl. "You did what?" Ann sung as she neared the group.

"Felicity was just telling us that she and the huntress like to lay back and think of England!"

"I never said anything about lying back," Felicity laughed. "I'm a tigress when making love. I like top, bottom, side…" The laughter of her friends was enough to keep Felicity going. "Sometimes I even like to lie on my stomach. And other times it's pleasant against trees."

"What in God's name have I missed over here?" Gemma gasped when she could hear past all the roaring laughter. "Who are you talking about, Fee?"

"She's talking about her escapades with the huntress!" Pippa announced.

"Would you like to join, Gemma?" Felicity asked with a wiggling of her eyebrows. "The huntress and I could teach you how to think of England in a handstand!"

This type of conversation continued on for the rest of their time in the realms that night. Felicity's bold sense of humor encouraged her friends to let loose. The knight, growing bored, left after some time. On Pippa's part, she did not even see him leave. She was captivated by her friends.

The girls finally fell to the ground, laughing too hard to continue. When they had all caught their breath, Ann broke the silence. "Was any of that true?"

It was such a simple question, but such a challenging answer. Obviously, Felicity had never done those things with the huntress. But she wondered if she would have if the huntress asked. She knew that if Pippa asked, she would. "Why Ann? Is the scandal of it all going to kill you?"

"No," Ann replied with a blush. "I was just curious."

"It's a joke, Ann. The only scandalous thing I have done with the huntress is learned how to hunt. Your reputation is still in tact." As Felicity said the words, she glanced over to Pippa. Would Pippa be ok with tarnishing her reputation? Could Pippa agree to do something that would alienate her from everyone she loves for the love of one? For Felicity, it was never a question of giving up many for one. There was only one love—there was only Pippa.


	46. Chapter 46

**Another little chapter for all you dedicated readers. There very well could be a second one up today if I manage to get enough work done around my house to satisfy the 'rents. So we will see. Review por favor :)**

If Felicity loved Pippa even at her most pompous and juvenile moments, she especially loved the Pippa that existed in those simple days when she could laugh and play in the realms. The knight had listened to her like no one had before. She, in turn, softened and even matured some. Felicity, much to her own dismay, had to admit that the knight brought out the better in Pippa—a side that Felicity could not.

"Do you ever wish I were different?" Pippa asked quietly as dug through her clothes, trying the find the perfect dress for Assembly Day.

"How do you mean?" Felicity sprawled comfortably across her bed as the minutes ticked by before they returned to the realms.

"Do you ever wish I was clever like you? Or smart like Ann? Or sarcastic like Gemma?"

"Of course not."

"But, surely, there is something you would change, if you only could."

"Why are you asking this?" Felicity asked as she sat up to look more closely at her friend. Pippa stopped digging in her wardrobe. She let her hands drop to her sides and pivoted to face her blonde friend.

"If I could change anything about Ann, I would make her more confident. And if I could change something about Gemma, I would give her a deeper understanding of people—of me. And if I could make a small change to myself, I would be bold, like you."

"And what, pray tell, would you change about me?"

Pippa, with eyes squeezed shut, sat down on the edge of her bed. One eye opened at a time before she found the courage to say what she had to get out. Felicity shuffled uneasily. "I would want you to find a reason within to love yourself."

"I don't love myself," Felicity whispered, meaning it to be a question, but failing to pose it that way.

"You blame yourself for a lot of the terrible things that have happened to you. And I think you would be a much better person if you could let it go. And realize that you are not to blame."

Felicity thought back on those nights spent under her father's sweaty body. The way his hands had forced her open. The part of him that swelled when he looked at her body. How could it not be her fault? Men are barbaric; they do what they need to. Women are supposed to hide themselves under layers of clothes in order to keep them men at bay. She had failed.

"Forgive me if I have been too bold," Pippa whispered, leaning closer.

"You're the one who wants to be bolder. Go ahead, Pip. The only person stopping you is you."

Pippa cleared her throat and looked deep into Felicity's eyes. "I demand to know what you would change about me if you could make one alteration."

"Fair enough," Felicity responded with a smile. "A couple weeks ago I would have asked that you could grow up some, mature. You were very selfish back then."

"What changed?"

"The realms have changed you. You are no longer that arrogant little girl prone to ridiculous delusions. Well," Felicity corrected. "You are no longer arrogant. You still live in the fantasy world of your own making."

"Is that what you would want to change then, now?"

"No."

"Then what?" Pippa was now perched over the edge of her bed so close that Felicity could feel her breath on her cheeks.

"I wish you would be a little more observant. I wish you could read the implicit meanings in words."

Pippa's eyebrows bunched together. "What do you mean?"

"Precisely." Felicity stood and stretched her arms over her head as Pippa contemplated the meanings of the words. "Come on; it is time."


	47. Chapter 47

**Sorry it has been awhile since I have updated. I had a crazy weekend filled with dancing, liquor, and friends. And then I have been spending a lot of time with one of my best friends before she leaves for the summer. Therefore, I cannot promise that I will write daily this week. But, thanks for waiting so patiently. I love you guys :)**

"What could I do with the magic if I had it out there?" Felicity asked as she readied her bow. Closing one eye, she took aim at a solitary leaf fluttering through the air. As the air from Felicity's lips swooshed out, the arrow was released. It ripped through the air and caught the leaf in its path.

"Very good," the huntress commented as she ate some berries from her spot on the ground. "And as far as the magic goes, you could do anything you wanted. Make yourself a princess, heal the sick, forget the past, see the future…"

Felicity allowed all of this to sink in. Would she choose to forget the past? What if she could glimpse the future? Could she make Pippa love her with that kind of power? "If I were to touch the runes, how long would the magic last?"

"That, I do not know," the huntress answered. "The runes are only accessed by the women of the Order. The magic I could give you is all I know."

"The Order doesn't wish us to use the magic from the runes."

"That is because the Order wishes to remain in power. They restrict all of the creatures here. And from what I have heard, they even restrict their own. The magic I have to offer is enough to share amongst all people."

"But the Mrs. Doyle says a sacrifice is detrimental to the health of the sacrificer. Doesn't it tie you to dark magic?"

"Do I seem like I am subject to dark magic?"

"No," Felicity answered, defeated. She knew that she would lose this argument over and over the longer she continued to have it. "I'd like to return to my friends now."

"Until tomorrow then?"

"Sure." Felicity was not sure that she would meet the huntress ever again. She did not like the way she was becoming more and more fascinated with the magic. She could feel her connection to her friends draining.

As Felicity made her way back to the garden after dressing, she could hear a hushed conversation drifting up from behind the cover of a few bushes. Felicity knew it was impolite to meddle, but she couldn't resist the urge to know what all the harsh words could mean.

She stepped into the cover of the bushes soundlessly—a trick she had learned from the huntress. Once inside the brush, she could see Mrs. Doyle arguing with the small, ghost-like child. "It's becoming too dangerous for you to be here at all."

"I cannot abandon my daughter!"

"She's strong by herself. She will figure it out."

"She is also too much like her mother at that age. She is still not grown yet."

"If you stay much longer, you run the risk of Circe finding you," the little girl pleaded.

"It's a risk I am willing to take." Felicity could not understand why this argument was taking place. Did Mrs. Doyle not trust Gemma? How did Mrs. Doyle even know so much about the realms?

"I will fight as long as I can. But each day, Circe gets closer."

"I know." Mrs. Doyle responded sadly. "Soon. I will tell Gemma soon. But you know that I cannot cross until I make things right."

"I know." The little girl had lost for now. She was too young to truly stand up for her own ideas. Though, Felicity did note that she was much too mature for a child of her age. She wondered how long the little girl had wandered these landscapes.

"You go ahead; I will follow in a minute." The little girl shook her head in distaste before leaving. Mrs. Doyle leaned against a tree and began to cry soft sobs. Felicity used the distraction to sneak out of the bush. On her way out she accidentally stepped on a large twig that snapped. Immediately, Felicity acted as if she was just now passing through.

"Oh, Mrs. Doyle! I didn't mean to interrupt!" Felicity's pretend shock seemed to fool Mrs. Doyle.

"Oh, it is no worry." Mrs. Doyle wiped away her tears and presented herself as a proper British woman should. "Did you have a good lesson today?"

"I did," Felicity answered.

"It is my understanding that you are becoming very close to the huntress."

"This is true."

"Forgive me if I am too bold, but I ask you to proceed with caution."

"Why?" Felicity stepped closer, expecting to hear some revelation about whatever Mrs. Doyle was hiding.

"It is easy to become corrupt in these woods. Sometimes members of the Order forget themselves and become obsessed with the power of the magic. I worry about you."

"You don't worry about the others?" Felicity asked without hiding the offense she took.

"I know Gemma well. She will be fine. But you remind me of a girl you have heard of. A girl who lost everything because she couldn't resist the lure of the magic."

"Sarah?" Felicity guessed.

"Yes."

"I don't think I am anything like her." Felicity remembered the illustration they had seen and the revelation that Sarah kissed Mary. Maybe there were some similarities, but Felicity wanted to believe that she would not make the same mistakes.

"Humans are often blind to their own weaknesses. I just ask that you heed my warning. Not every creature here can be trusted. And I don't want you to lose sight of what matters most. The power of friendship is worth more than any amount of magic."

"Thank you," Felicity finally said as a somewhat accurate response. She did not understand what Mrs. Doyle was suggesting about both the huntress and herself. Did she know what their private talks consisted of? Did Mrs. Doyle worry that Felicity would betray Gemma?

"You're welcome. You should return to your friends." Felicity somehow felt that the conversation was over. She needed to get away from Mrs. Doyle before the woman could read too far into the desires of her heart. Felicity wondered if Mrs. Doyle could see right past all the walls she put up to defend herself against the cruelty of the world. It was an unsettling thought.

"How was your hunt?" Pippa asked as Felicity wandered closer to her group of friends.

"Interesting," Felicity answered with a smile. She could feel the weight from the conversation with Mrs. Doyle falling away with each smile from her friends.

"We made you this," Ann said, holding out a crown of flowers. It matched the ones that each girl was already wearing.

"Thank you." Felicity set it on her head and smiled the charming grin that never failed to make others smile back. "It is dreadfully hot here. Watch this!" Felicity closed her eyes and pictured exactly what she wanted. A warm rain began to fall heavily from the perpetual sunset.

"Not fair in the least!" Pippa screamed, but her giggles were too happy to be truly mad.

"Aha! I made this! I did!" Felicity shouted triumphantly. So far, this was the most magic she had used and it felt good. Out of the corner of her eyes, Felicity saw Ann try and run toward Pippa, but she slipped in a pile of mud that was bursting forth from nowhere it seemed. With a laugh, Pippa tried to help Ann up, but ended up falling into the same heap of mud as Ann.

Felicity reached down and picked up a handful of the gunk. With a hard toss, it landed right on the Gemma's shoulder. Gemma turned with vengeance in her eyes. "You will pay for that, Felicity Worthington!"

"You'll have to catch me first!" Felicity taunted. Soon all four girls were slipping their way through the mud as they hurled as much of the liquid grime at each other. Felicity was fastest and the most light on her feet. She dodged most of the hits. At one point she ran as fast as she could toward Pippa with mud in both hands. Pippa tried to escape, but was not fast enough. Felicity tackled her to the soft earth and ran her muddy hands through Pippa's perfect hair. In the process, Felicity's left cheek got slapped with mud too.

After quite some time, the girls were too worn out to run anymore. They all stood with mud in one hand and their other hand on their heaving stomachs. "I'm a bit soggy," Pippa called when she could breathe evenly. Out of the four girls, she was the most covered.

"All right, then," Gemma responded. Felicity watched as the rain stopped and the mud cleared away. The girls were once again clean, most likely cleaner than they were when they had arrived in the realms that day.

"Wouldn't it be grand to show them all what we can all do?" Ann mused, her eyes on the runes.

"Yes, it would," Gemma answered, her hand holding onto Ann's. Felicity, exhausted from the events of the past week, fell to the ground on her back. Pippa lied down next to her and grabbed tight to her fingers. Soon Ann had taken hold of Felicity's other hand. The four girls made a circle with their heads in the center. Felicity felt more relaxed and content than she had since she was a very small child. Felicity tried to memorize the texture of Pippa's soft hands during those quite minutes. And then, someone got the bright idea to make it rain again.

As Felicity ran and played like she had never been allowed to do before, she felt truly happy. The smile on her face was upturned by true joy. She wished the moment would never end. In that one moment Felicity was happy enough that no memory, no fear, and definitely no rejection could break through.

**Reviews are pretty ridiculously awesome. **


	48. Chapter 48

**Well everyone, another day and another chapter. I feel like today has been jam packed with Libba Bray. I finished Going Bovine (which I recommend to anyone that enjoys sarcastic but touching books) and manged to write this chapter. I hope to get another chapter written tonight, but no promises. **

The next few nights spent in the realms were like many others. Felicity spent most her time under the watchful eye of the huntress who had less and less to teach each time they met. On Thursday night they went for another swim in the temperature adjusting lake. There was no more talk of the magic or berries. Instead, Felicity regaled stories of Paris and her childhood. The huntress shared adventurous tales of hunts in distant realms.

"Pippa, I need to tell you something," Felicity practiced in front of her mirror on Friday afternoon while Pippa was otherwise occupied trying to find Brigid to tailor a dress for Assembly Day. "I…I love you." Felicity shook her head and changed her tone. "I love you, Pippa," she said in a sultry voice.

"Pip, you are my best friend and I would like you to be my lover." She sighed and closed her eyes before trying again. "Pippa, you know you're beautiful. But did you know that I love you? Bloody hell! Gather yourself, Felicity!"

Swallowing the gulp in her throat, Felicity tried again. "Pippa Cross, I know you have a knight and he cares for you. But you should know that you have another option. I also care for you…as more than a friend." Felicity smiled a little knowing that at least she was getting better. She did not know when she would find the courage to actually tell Pippa how she felt, but she was confident that it would happen eventually.

"Pippa, I need to speak with you. Alone. Follow me. Do you-"

"Who are you talking to?" Pippa interrupted as she entered the room.

"Myself," Felicity answered, turning away from the mirror and praying that Pippa hadn't heard anything. "Did Brigid fix the dress?"

"Yes. It now fits perfect. My parents will be happy to see me where it tomorrow."

"What's that? In your hand?"

"Oh! I almost forgot. Brigid asked me to give this to you." Pippa held out a small envelope addressed to Felicity.

"That's odd," Felicity mused. "My mother wrote weeks ago to tell me she would not be attending Assembly Day." With another curious glance, Felicity tore open the envelope. The letter was folded once evenly.

_My Dear Daughter,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. I have received news of Assembly Day at Spence. I am pleased to inform you that I will be able to attend this year. I didn't think it would be possible, but just recently I have found a way to escape my duties in order to spend time with you. I look forward to seeing you soon. _

_Fondly, _

_Your father_

Felicity read the letter four times before actually understanding the words. Her father was coming. He would see her grown up. He would meet her friends. He would meet Pippa. Felicity's head snapped up in time to see Pippa hanging her recently adjusted dress up in her wardrobe. She was humming a quite little tune that Felicity did not recognize. When she turned around, her eyes opened wider.

"What is it, Fee?" she asked in a tone that bordered on anxious and nervous.

"My father is coming." The words tasted so new on Felicity's tongue. "He's coming here—tomorrow." Even the second time around it tasted foreign.

"That's great!" Pippa responded with a forced smile. "It will be nice to finally meet him."

Felicity knew her friend was lying through her teeth, but nothing could wipe the stupid grin off her face. Before she knew what she was doing, Felicity leaped off her bed and barraled into Pippa's arms. Pippa fell back three steps before finding her balance again. "He's coming, Pip. He's coming," Felicity cooed.

"I know," Pippa laughed as she ran her fingers through the hair directly above Felicity's neck.

"I have to tell Gemma and Ann!" Felicity pulled away forcefully.

"They're downstairs practicing their waltzing."

"I'll be right back!" Felicity was gone in a flash as she sped down the hallway and stairs. In her mind she was already planning the dress she would wear and what she would say. Somehow the simple news that her father cared enough to make an appearance at her school filled Felicity with a fresh sense of joy. More than that though, she was content knowing that he had forgiven her for everything she had done to be bad. That was enough to temporarily excite her more than any magic could.


	49. Chapter 49

**Sorry for the wait everyone. Thanks for bearing with me. I've been busy. But Here is another chapter. Review if you like it.**

Felicity woke up long before dawn on the morning of Assembly Day. She had too much to do and more than enough nerves to calm herself enough to sleep soundly. The sun had yet to rise, but Felicity could hear birds chirping—a sure sound that the day would come.

As she cleaned her body and attempted to tame her hair, Pippa's state of sleep weakened. By the time Felicity had managed to coil her hair into an elaborate bun, Pippa was sitting up and stretching her arms.

"Today's the day," Felicity mused with a broad grin.

"Your hair looks beautiful."

"Thank you." Felicity swiveled around to look at the sleep-smeared Pippa. "I need your help with my corset."

Pippa crawled out of a tangle of sheets as Felicity pulled her nightgown over her head. A cool breeze met the bare skin on Felicity's chest. The way her skin erupted in little bumps did not go unnoticed by Pippa. Pippa's cheeks darkened and Felicity covered herself more for Pip's sake then her own.

When she was ready, Felicity perched her arms on the wall and waited for Pippa's fingers to begin their work. "Pull harder," Felicity gasped when Pip was only tightening to the usual force.

"You want it tighter?"

"As tight as it goes." Pippa begun to pull the laces with enough force to elicit gasps from Felicity's lips. The blonde felt as if every rib in her chest was contracted inward, about to break. But, when Felicity looked in the mirror she saw a beautiful blonde girl with breasts that nearly fell out of her corset. She saw a woman—powerful and intense.

When Felicity was fully clothed, she turned to the stunning girl on her bed. "What do you think?"

"You look beautiful, Felicity," Pippa answered honestly.

"I can't wait for you to meet my father," Felicity changed the subject coyly before she would lose control and kiss her friend. "You will love him."

"I seriously doubt that."

"What do you have against the man?" Felicity snapped.

"I don't like what he did to you."

"I already told you, Pip. It was my fault."

"He has you so twisted up in your head. It was not your fault! He is a disgusting pig. You were a small child. And I would do anything to be able to go back in time and rescue you from that horrible experience."

Felicity softened her tone because Pippa seemed to be genuinely concerned. "I don't need you to rescue me, Pip. I can take care of myself."

"Everyone needs a hero sometimes."

"I don't," Felicity stated. She moved over and sat on the edge of her bed, close enough to feel the heat on Pippa's skin. "But I promise to always protect you. You will never have to experience anything even remotely close to what I went through."

"I love you, Fee," Pippa whispered. Her lips leaned in and touched Felicity's hot cheek for a fraction of a second. Before Felicity could process what had happened, Pippa was gone—behind her dressing screen. The moment had passed. Felicity could not tell Pippa how she felt now, but she knew it would happen soon.

"Do you have any scent?" Felicity called out as she began moving again.

"I'm out."

"Me too."

"Maybe Gemma has some," Pip suggested as she reemerged from her hiding spot. Felicity tied the laces of Pippa's corset silently. A knock on the door interrupted the girls. "I wonder who that could be."

"It's probably Gemma or Ann," Felicity responded as she made her way to the door. Before opening the door, Felicity glanced back to make sure Pippa was presentable enough to be seen. Seeing that Pippa's dress was almost completely on, Fee opened the door just enough to be seen.

"Miss Worthington," Brigid began. "Is Miss Cross ready. 'Er family is here with the handsome Mr. Bumble. They request her attention now."

"I will send her down in a minute. She isn't quite ready. But thank you, Brigid," Felicity said with a forced smile. She knew that Pippa was going to be very upset at this news.

"Aye. Have a good day, Miss Worthington."

Felicity closed the door quietly and wandered over to her friend. Pippa was doing her hair in front of her mirror. "Bad news, Pip," Felicity whispered into her ear. "Mr. Bumble is with your parents."

A frown overtook Pippa's soft features and she let her hair fall. Felicity ran the pads of her fingers through to soft ringlets and massaged Pippa's scalp gently. "Why would they bring him?"

"Look on the bright side, Pip. You can get rid of him for good today."

"I wish my knight was here."

"Do you want me to do your hair?" Felicity asked because she did not want to hear any more about the knight.

"That would be nice," Pippa answered. A small smile tugged on her red lips and Felicity had to fight the urge to kiss the little corners. To erase the thoughts, Felicity got to work on Pip's ringlets. By the time she had finished another moment had passed and Felicity felt normal again.

"You better head down there. They are waiting."

"Thank you, Fee. I can't wait to meet your father," Pippa said sounding at least a little honest. Before Felicity could respond, Pippa left the room with her head held high. Felicity smiled after her friend before making her way to Gemma and Ann's room.

Felicity did not knock; rather, she just pushed the door open and leaned against the frame suggestively, her breasts rubbing on the wood. "Bonjour, Mesdemoiselles. 'Tis I, the Queen of Sheba. You may save your genuflecting for later." Moving away from the frame, Felicity added, "What do you think, darlings? Am I not irresistible?"

"Beautiful," Gemma answered.

Felicity looked to Ann for an answer. Her cheeks were pink as she glanced at Felicity's cleavage. "Yes, beautiful," she echoed once Gemma had nudged her.

Felicity would not let their shock get to her. She was happy. No, Felicity was more than happy; she was overjoyed. "He's coming. I can't wait for him to see what a lady I've become." Felicity entered the room and began twirling in a giddy dance. "Of course, you must meet him. He'll adore you all, I'm sure of it. I want him to see tar I'm getting on well here. Does either of you have any scent?"

Both Gemma and Ann shook their heads. "No perfume at all?" Felicity sighed. "I can't go without smelling lovely!"

"Here," Gemma said as she pulled a rose from the vase by the window. Felicity watched as she crushed the petals in her hand. A sweet, sticky juice remained on Gemma's fingers. Felicity leaned forward slightly while Gemma dabbed it on her wrists and behind her ears.

Felicity inhaled the scent on her wrist and smiled at Gemma's smart thinking. "Perfect! Gemma, you are a genius!" Felicity threw her arms around Gemma and kissed her cheek.

"Where's Pip?" Ann asked when the hug had ended.

"Downstairs," Felicity answered, feeling a little sorry for Pippa. "Her parents came with Mr. Bumble. Can you imagine? Let's hope she sends him packing today." Growing bored of their company, Felicity added, "Well, adieu, les filles. I shall see you anon." With a bow, Felicity left Ann and Gemma alone.

Downstairs, many parents have already arrived. Felicity considered finding Pippa, but changed her mind. She was far too nervous to be polite around a man who wished to possess the girl she loved. Instead, Felicity went and sat in a chair to wait for her father. From her seat, she watched the happy reunions of many families. The youngest girls cried at the sight of their families. Felicity thought back to the previous Assembly Days. She had never had a visitor. This year would be different though. Felicity smiled knowing that her father was somewhere on his way.

After quite some time, Felicity grew too restless to sit there. She decided it best to wait outside where she could breathe fresh air. Grabbing a handkerchief, Felicity rubbed her nose and began to push through the crowd. On her way out, she ran into Gemma and Ann. They both looked devastated. "What is the matter? You look as if the world has ended?"

"Pippa is engaged to Mr. Bumble," Gemma answered.

For a second, Felicity forgot all about her father. "What? Oh, poor Pip."

"Has your father come?" Gemma asked, bringing back all the tingling nerves.

"Not yet. Forgive me, but I'm far too nervous to wait around here. I'm going to stay out in the garden till he comes. Are you certain I look presentable?"

"For the last time, yes," Gemma answered with an eye-roll. Felicity was too wound up to care. She nodded once before pushing through the last of the people and out the doors. A small stone bench was not yet taken in the garden. Felicity took a seat and tried to breathe evenly. After some time, she began to shake a little. And then it happened. All the excitement and joy vanished when Felicity spotted Mrs. Nightwing walking toward her with a letter in hand.

"Miss Worthington, there you are," Mrs. Nightwing began, but Felicity's eyes were already on the paper. "I have received a letter for you."

Felicity, knowing what it would say, pulled the letter from Nightwing's fingers. "Thank you," she whispered before opening because Nightwing was still standing over her. With a sad nod, Nightwing left Felicity's side.

_My dearest daughter,_

_I am sorry to tell you on such short notice but duty calls me elsewhere, and duty to the Crown is of the utmost importance, as I'm sure you would agree. Have a jolly day, and perhaps we shall see each other again at Christmastime._

_Fondly,_

_Your Father_

Felicity could not decide what was more insulting, the fact that he had cancelled, or the fact that the letter was not even in his own handwriting. All she did know was that both realizations were heart-breaking. Felicity read the letter many more times as she fought against her eyes in order to keep tears from coming. It was as if her world had stopped in the midst of everyone else's. Around her their lives went on. But Felicity was still—like a painting on the wall of a museum. She now understood what it was like to be viewed but never understood completely.

Felicity's thoughts were broken up when the familiar voice of Gemma floated from above. "I don't know about you, but I've had quite enough of this absurd show." Felicity did not even glance over, but out of the corner of her eye she could see Gemma wipe away a tear. "Has your father come yet? Did I miss him?"

The words wouldn't come. Felicity just sat, staring at her fingers as she tried to keep her emotions at bay. "Fee? What's the matter?" Without moving her eyes, Felicity handed the letter to Gemma.

"It's not even his handwriting," she said when she had given Gemma more than enough time to read it. "He couldn't even be bothered to pen his own goodbye." In the distance, Felicity could hear some of the younger girls reciting poetry, but she tuned it all out. Gemma returned the note and sat in silence with Felicity.

A small drop of rain landed on the back of Felicity's neck. "It's starting to rain," Gemma stated as she stood. Her hand extended to Felicity's, but Fee did not take it. "You'll get wet," she begged. Felicity held her ground and Gemma ran off to the shelter of school.

In the rain, Felicity felt the tears begin to fall. They mixed with the cold droplets of water and washed Felicity clean. As she sat there, in the pouring rain, Felicity wept for allowing herself to be happy over something as silly as her father. She vowed to never allow her happiness to be decided on by others.

After quite some time, Brigid came out and escorted Felicity inside the building. As she lectured about illnesses and other downfalls to sitting out in the rain, Felicity felt the fight in her disappearing. She wondered if she could ever change anything—ever make right was has been done wrong.


	50. Chapter 50

**Happy Saturday to all my readers. I'm in a good mood even though this chapter isn't very happy at all. **

Brigid escorted Felicity all the way up to her room, before leaving her to her own devices with a dry set of undergarments. Felicity held the clothes away from her wet body as she sauntered into the room that was anything but a home. Pippa was in a ball on her bed. She glanced at Felicity once, but lowered her eyes out of shame.

Felicity was too tired and worn out to care about anything anymore. She ripped the clothes off her sticky body as more tears erupted from within her. In front of the mirror Felicity examined her body. It was as if she could still see the bruises on her thighs from that first time he touched her. The scars of what she had experienced tattooed her pale skin in invisible ink. No one else could see the markings, but Felicity could feel them at her most vulnerable moments. That particular day, they burned her.

The anger spilled to the surface just as quickly as the tears came. Suddenly, Felicity was flinging her books and clothes against the walls. The smack of each different texture against other objects encouraged the rage to continue. It grew until Felicity finally collapsed on the floor in a heap.

The sobs ripped through her like an earthquake. Felicity sat there in a ball, looking only at her fists, until she felt a blanket fall over her shoulders. Pippa sat down next to her blonde friend because in that moment they were the only two people in the world. They were all that mattered. Felicity's head fell lightly on Pip's shoulder. Pippa responded by resting her own head atop Felicity's.

Seconds turned into minutes and minutes to hours. Shadows formed in the room, but the girls remained as they were. Finally, Pippa broke the silence. "Why didn't he come?"

"Duty to the Crown," Felicity spewed, a flash of anger breaking the numbness that was inside.

"Mr. Bumble proposed," Pippa whispered as her eyes glanced at the ring on her finger.

"I'm sorry."

"He kissed me too. And it was terrible—like kissing my father." Felicity's eyes moistened when a memory burst to the surface. Pippa realized what she had said. "Oh, Fee! I didn't mean it like that. I just mean that it didn't have passion or love. It was cold."

"I know, Pip." Felicity pushed the tears back down. She was done crying for that day. She had already been too weak.

"Sometimes I wish I could run away with you," Pippa whispered.

"You can," Felicity responded as an idea formed in her mind. She could take Pippa and run. They could move to America. Or they could just travel the world—see everything.

"With what money? How would we survive?"

"I'd figure it out."

"I wish I could bring the knight out of the realms. He would protect me and care for me."

Felicity flinched at the implicit meaning in Pippa's words. "I would care for you. And I would protect you too," she mumbled.

"I know," Pippa replied with a small kiss on Felicity's forehead. "But the world would never accept two women living on their own."

"I'd take that risk."

"I love you, Felicity."

Felicity smiled despite the fact that Pippa only meant as a friend loves a friend. It was enough for her to know that at least she had a real friend in the world. Felicity wondered if this was the time to finally come clean about her own intentions. But with each passing second, the moment drifted farther away until it was gone.

"We should probably get ready for vespers," Pippa said as she stood. Felicity could now see that the color in her friend's eyes had faded. She was saddened too—defeated as well.

Pippa gave Felicity her hand and helped pull her up. The blanket fell to the floor, reminding both girls of Felicity's nude state. Felicity watched Pippa's eyes slide down the curves of her body. Pippa's cheeks flared crimson, but Felicity remained sure of herself. Her nakedness was no longer something to be ashamed of.

"Y-you should get dressed," Pippa stuttered. To reach her clothes, Felicity had to lean past Pippa. The tension as Pip stiffened folded over the atmosphere of the room. Felicity considered kissing Pippa then just to see how she would react, but changed her mind out of decency. Felicity wanted the moment to be perfect when she eventually told her. Felicity knew that Pippa wanted romance, not a quick "I love you" before vespers.


	51. Chapter 51

**Sorry for the wait faithful readers. I once again have been busy. And I found a job so I might continue being busy...provided that I can keep this job. Enjoy and review please :)**

Felicity may have been in the cave with the other girls, but she was completely alone. The rain from the afternoon had yet to disperse giving the night an eerie quality often found in Grimm fairytales. Felicity was numb to the world. She sat facing the opposite way, braiding and unbraiding a piece of hair to occupy her shaky fingers.

In the background, she could hear Pippa and Ann arguing about the perils of their lives. Felicity did not have to choose a side—life was miserable for them both in its own dreadful way. Life was not fair, not even a little. Gemma had lost her mother. Pippa was going to marry a fat old man. Ann was doomed to a life of serving bratty children. And Felicity could see no real future for herself either. She knew she had two choices—tell Pippa and hope for a happily ever after, or live the rest of her life alone. On that particular night Felicity thought for sure option two would win out.

"Come on, tell us a story. Let's read from Mary Dowd's diary," Pippa insisted after a somewhat heartfelt apology to Ann. Felicity thought back on everything she knew about Mary and Sarah. Somehow it seemed so unimportant. Their fate seemed to be a warning to steer clear from hoping all together.

"Why should we bother when we know how it all ends?" Ann asked. "They die in the fire."

"Well, I want to read from the diary1" Pippa whined back. Her new fate was bringing Pippa back to the immature, pompous girl she once was.

"Pippa, can't you let it alone tonight?" Gemma sighed, obviously annoyed. "We're not in the mood."

"That's fine for you to say. You're not the one being married against your will!"

A roll of thunder crashes about the caves. Felicity, not wanting to listen to this stupid argument any longer, breaks her dull silence. "Shall I tell you a story? A new and terrible one? A ghost story?"

Felicity turned her body toward her friends as the tears began to fall. She didn't bother to stop them. Pulling her legs up to her chest, she began again. "Are you ready? Shall I begin? Once upon a time there were four girls. One was pretty." Felicity looked into the dead eyes of Pippa. "One was clever," she added, but her eyes were still on Pip's. "One charming. And one…" Felicity looked to Gemma as she contemplated which adjective fit most.

"One was mysterious. But they were all damaged, you see. Something not right about the lot of them. Bad blood. Big dreams. Oh, I left that part out. Sorry, that should have come before. They were all dreamers, these girls."

"Felicity…" Gemma interrupted. The fear in her voice only encouraged Felicity to continue.

"You wanted a story, and I'm going to give you one. One by one, night after night, the girls came together. And they sinned. Do you know what their sin was?" Felicity paused, waiting for an answer. "No one? Pippa? Ann?"

"Felicity," Pippa whispered. "Let's go back and have a nice cup of tea. It's too cold out here."

Felicity raised her voice when she continued. "Their sin was that they believed. Believed they could be different. Special. They believed they could change what they were—damaged, unloved. Cast-off things. They would be alive, adored, needed. Necessary. But it wasn't true. This is a ghost story, remember? A tragedy."

Felicity's voice cut off by a sob in her throat. She let it settle and continued. "They were misled. Betrayed by their own stupid hopes. Things couldn't be different for them, because they weren't special after all. So life took them, led them, and they went along, you see? They faded before their own eyes, till they were nothing more than living ghosts, haunting each other with what could be. What can't be."

A look at each of her friends' faces ensured her that the story had done the damage she had hoped for. "There, now. Isn't that the scariest story you've ever heard?" The tears that soaked Felicity's face were becoming a nuisance to her. She tried to suck them back in causing heart-wrenching sobs to echo through the caves. She watched each of her friends soak inside their own misery and wondered if they would ever forgive each other for not be able to make it better.

Gemma's voice, sounding oddly hopeful in all the pain-drenched commotion, broke through the silence. "There is a way to change things. I know how to ensure our survival—our happiness."

Felicity wiped the tears off her face and looked to the red-head for further explanation. "The runes will give us the magic we need to make sure we have a future worth living."

"To the realms then," Felicity said without hesitation. She could not bear to wait any longer. If Gemma was willing to disobey her mother, then Felicity would actively disobey as well.

"We can't be seen," Gemma whispered. "Get the candles ready."

"Are you sure you know how to use these runes?" Ann asked as we arranged the candles in the center of our circle.

"Of course she does! Stop trying to frighten her," Pippa snapped. "You do know, don't you?"

"No. But Mary and Sarah did it. It can't be that difficult. Mother said I simply place my hands against the runes and…and then…We'll just try it and see. That's all. Just a trial run." Felicity could see no problem with trying. She took Gemma and Ann by their hands and waited. Soon the girls were running as fast as they could toward the runes. Felicity arrived first and waited for the others.

"I didn't see anyone," Felicity panted when the others had arrived.

"Then I don't think anyone saw us," Pippa replied. Pippa spoke to soon. The huntress appeared from behind a tree.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Nothing," Gemma replied much too quickly. The huntress glanced at Felicity and a smiled pulled at the corner of her lips.

"Will you hunt today?" she finally asked.

"Not today. Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." With a small nod to Felicity, she turned and wandered toward the silver arch. Before completely disappearing, she turned back and made eye contact with Felicity. Somehow Fee knew that she was approving of what they were about to do.

"That was a close call," Ann said when she was gone.

"Yes. I think we'd best act quickly," Gemma agreed.

"What do you think will happen to us? Pippa's voice was lined with apprehension.

There's only one way to find out," Gemma answers. Felicity reached out and placed her palm on Gemma's shoulder, giving it a small squeeze in encouragement. Pippa and Ann followed suit with their own hands.

At first Felicity felt nothing when Gemma placed her hand on the runes. She could hear a hum against Gemma's skin that turned into a shudder. Gemma's body tensed underneath Felicity's hand. And then she felt it. The hum turned into a shudder that flooded into Felicity's body. She could sense Gemma underneath her. Their hearts beat together in an accelerated rate as the pillar grew brighter. For a split second, Felicity could hear Gemma's thoughts, but they were drowned out by many others. Too many words, too fast to comprehend billowed in Felicity's mind. She tried to break free, but suddenly it all stopped.

The smooth grass of the runes disappeared and in its place was the hard rock of a mountaintop. Clouds coiled and uncoiled above the four girl's heads in a speed unlike anything that ever happened in reality. Felicity felt the strong winds whipping her hair around, but felt nothing but joy. Every nerve in her body was on fire—as if she could feel her friends around her without moving.

Felicity focused her gaze on the green pigments in Gemma's eyes. The pupil grew larger until Felicity found herself falling into the black mass. She landed in her garden at her home. The colors were too bright, more like the realms than actual home. She reached to pick a flower and ended up flying over London with her friends. They all laughed in joy before Felicity found herself separated from them.

She was flying much too fast. The wind was cold against her cheeks. Her nose was freezing and then she landed softly in a winter paradise. Snow spread out the barren landscape, but she was not cold. Felicity stood, but she was sinking into the cold depths. Soon she was underwater, but not alone. Pippa's hand reached out and grabbed Felicity's they swam up to the surface and emerged on a bed.

Felicity rolled over Pippa and kissed her lips fully, feeling her stomach tighten as she melted into the red lips. And when she opened her eyes she was back on the mountain top with her friends. None of that had happened, but it felt too real. Something had changed.

Gemma's hand gripped tight around Felicity's as she found Ann's. A searing white light blinded the girls when they were once again joined. When Felicity opened her eyes again, they were back in the realms.

Everything was blurry and bright. Felicity blinked and rubbed at her eyes, but she could not focus. When she met what looked like Ann's eyes, they seemed just as confused. The girls stumbled back to the door of light in their confusion. Suddenly, Felicity was very tired.

The walk back to the school in the rain was too dark and baffling. By the time Felicity and Pippa had made it back to their rooms, they were almost asleep. Both fell into bed fully dressed and completely drunk with the sensation of the power.


	52. Chapter 52

**Good day to you all. Here's yet another chapter. We're getting so very close to some of the really good stuff. Thanks for sticking with me all this time. Reviews would be splendid. **

The following morning Felicity woke to giggling. Her eyes opened and focused on Pippa who was standing over her. Her grin was silly, childish. Felicity did not understand what could be so amusing. "What are you doing?" she mumbled, but it came out in a voice that was not gripped by sleepiness. Felicity realized that she was not even the slightest bit tired.

"Good morning, Ferdinand," Pippa replied all giggles.

"Ferdinand?"

"You have one of the most attractive beards for a man of your age, Ferdinand."

Felicity lifted her fingers up to her chin and just as Pip said felt hair, and a lot of it. With a gasp she leaped from her bed and bounded to the mirror. A long, Santa-like beard had grown over her chin and cheeks in the course of the night. "How did-?" Felicity didn't have to finish the question. She knew the answer.

"Dear, Pippa," she softened. "If you wished to make me into a man, I would have done it in complete. The breasts with a beard like this make me look more like a circus freak than a fit gentleman."

"You? Gentle?" Pippa mocked with another giggle.

Felicity smiled and focused on the magic inside her. She felt the beard disappear, but that is not all she did. With her eyes squeezed tight she imagined herself as a young man. Her hair shortened; she grew taller and broader; her clothes changed into the trousers of a man.

"Now that is what I would look like a man," Felicity announced as she looked in the mirror. She was attractive in this form—much like her father.

"I highly doubt you would be a gentleman."

"Are you mocking me, Miss Cross?" Felicity bowed once in sport. Pippa was still wearing her clothes from the night before and together the pair looked like any other flirtatious couple in London.

"Oh yes. I do say I am, Mr. Worthington."

"How's this for gentle?" With a grin, Felicity used the magic to launch Pippa across the room. Her body landed, as gentle as the touch of an infant, on Felicity's bed. Before Pippa could sit up, Felicity ran to the spot and leaned over her. Their eyes locked and the magic flooded through Felicity's veins. She could feel Pippa's heart accelerate.

"Are you going to have your way with me?"

"Do you want Ferdinand to have his way with you?" Felicity asked because this was not Felicity's battle.

"I would be lying if I said no," Pippa muttered with a blush. "But I know it's you under there."

"And you don't want Felicity to have her way with you," Felicity finished.

Pippa's eyebrows bunched together as she thought. "Do you want to have your way with me?"

"Who? Ferdinand or Felicity?"

"Both are the same."

"Ferdinand could love you differently than Felicity. They aren't the same."

Pippa continued to peer into Felicity's eyes and contemplate a choice. Felicity was growing uncomfortable bracing herself over Pippa and wanted a real answer soon. Fear was gripping her heart more than ever though. "Underneath the skin, they are the same person. Under this skin," Pippa placed her hand over Felicity's chest. "Beats the heart of Felicity Worthington—my best friend."

"And is Felicity Worthington enough?" The answer to this question was what Felicity had been waiting for.

"More than enough," Pippa answered. Her hands ran along the solid chin of Felicity's new face. "In fact, I miss her."

Felicity smiled and immediately put the magic to work. Where once was an attractive young man was now the same Felicity that Pippa had spent years with. Pippa's hand remained on Felicity's cheek as it changed back. When it was the familiar shape, Pippa smiled and rubbed her fingers over the cheekbones. "There she is," Pippa cooed. "I don't want you to ever change again."

"I won't," Felicity promised. The moment lengthened. Pippa's fingers traced down the skin on Felicity's neck before finally falling away. Felicity wondered if Pippa could sense the thoughts that ran through her mind. Did she know what happened when Felicity touched the realms the night before?

"We should probably go check on Ann and Gemma. I bet they aren't even up yet."

"You're right," Felicity answered. She was off of Pippa in a flash and back at her vanity. Using the magic she pulled her hair up into a bun. "Leave the grass stain. We can show them that the magic works."

"Good idea," Pippa answered. The pair stood and ran down the hall to the small dorm room that Gemma got stuck in because of her late attendance. Without knocking, Felicity burst into the bright room with Pip on her heels. "Look at my dress," Pippa immediately said with a grin.

"Bad luck, Pip," Gemma responded. Felicity watched Pippa close her eyes and make the magic clean the dress easily.

"You made it disappear," Ann said in wonder. Pippa continued to grin as she twirled her dress around to show it off.

"So we've done it," Gemma said. "We've taken the magic out of the realms." _And everything is fine_.

"Of course it's fine," Felicity answered the unspoken words. "Wait, did you think that?"

"Evidently we can sense each others' thoughts," Ann answered with a smile. Felicity's mind immediately flashed to what had happened. She wondered if Pippa knew what had been going on inside her mind. Pippa was still spinning like a giddy child. Felicity took a deep breath and tried to relax.

_Get dressed, Gemma_, Felicity thought.

"I was just about to."

"That's intriguing," Felicity laughed. And it was. The rest of the days the girls played openly with the magic. They used it to stop Cicely from her usual annoying charade, improve their French, enhance their singing, and play little tricks on others. All day they were giddy children. A joy that none of them had felt in a long time spread over them like a blanket of peace. No one wanted it to end.


	53. Chapter 53

**Another chapter. It's short. I'm sorry.**

"How am I supposed to get Mrs. Nightwing to leave the room? There is no way she will leave us be without a chaperone," Pippa stated later that night. The magic had drained from Felicity's body and sleep was beckoning. Even so, she needed to help Pippa plan a way to send Mr. Bumble on his way.

"I will fake illness—stomach pains."

"Appendicitis?"

"It could be," Felicity answered. "But in the meantime, you have to tell him about your epilepsy."

"What if he doesn't believe me?"

"Make him believe. Pippa, after all these years of friendship with me, you still can't lie effectively. I'm ashamed."

"I can too lie!" Pippa gasped. "I made him want me, didn't I?"

"He wants you for your looks, not personality."

"No one wants me for my personality." Pippa sounded sad, but Felicity was too tired to start that conversation on that night.

"I'm not going to pity you, Pip. You know how I hate whining."

"I know," Pippa sighed. "I guess you're right. But I don' think the stomach pains will keep Nightwing away for long."

"Exactly. That is why you must work fast."

"What if she finds out it you're faking?"

"She won't," Felicity stated confidently. "If anything she will think I have a strong case of the hysterics."

"Mother goes to the doctor once a month for her hysterics."

"Of course she does."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Pippa argued.

"Do you know how a doctor relieves one of hysterics?"

"No." Pippa, without another word, slipped behind her dressing screen to put on her nightgown. Felicity was already tucked into her bed with her arms behind her head. "What do they do?"

Felicity thought hard about to word it. She knew the basics, but not everything. "They use a certain device that massages a woman."

"So, it feels good?"

"Yes," Felicity answered with a grin because Pippa still didn't understand.

"Maybe you will get that tomorrow then."

"Dear God, I hope not. Have you seen Dr. Thomas?"

"A massage from anyone would be nice," Pippa stated not sure of herself anymore.

"Would you want Mr. Bumble's hands on you?"

"You have a point." Pippa was now tucked into her sheets too. "I'm exhausted. The magic really took its toll."

"I feel the affects of all the sleepless nights piling up. I wish I could just sleep forever."

"Only in death."

"Not even then," Felicity added. "Pip, I'm cold. Can I have one of your blankets?" She was not lying; her toes seemed to have disappeared from the ends of her feet.

"I'm cold too," Pippa said as an answer. Felicity sighed and burrowed deeper into her sheets. Her body was still shaking, but she figured sleep would find her either way. "You can come over here though if you want. Share blankets."

Felicity knew that the suggestion was an innocent one. The pair had slept together numerous times when they were children. It was never anything more than friends. But somehow, Felicity felt that tonight would be different. "Thank you," she sighed as she slid in behind Pippa.

"Welcome," Pippa sighed, the sleep already taking over. Felicity's body pressed up against Pippa's back and folded around it pleasantly. Warmth flooded every cavity of her body. The blonde waited a second before wrapping her arm around Pippa's waist because she was too scared of what might happen if it crossed some invisible line. But it didn't. Pippa only folded in closer.

Felicity's breathing measured the same beats as Pippa's as the two fell into a dreamless sleep. The moment before sleep drowned all thoughts out, Felicity's mind imagined this same scenario only without walls of clothes between their skin. That thought felt right—perfect.


	54. Chapter 54

**I better post a warning on this one. The content here is a little more "dirty" than any of the other chapters. That being said, I don't think it should be a problem. Just a heads up, if this chapter is too much for you, you might need to stop here because eventually things will get worse. That being said, thanks for reading. Reviews on this chapter could be interesting :)**

The following morning Felicity prepared herself for her performance. All morning she wandered through the school with a scowl and her hand on her stomach. A few minutes before Pippa was to be expected to meet Mr. Bumble, Felicity hurried back up to her room.

At eleven fifteen exactly Felicity began screaming out in pain. She rolled and thrashed and waited until someone would hear. Ann, who was supposed to come to her rescue, arrived after a few minutes with Brigid in toll.

"Oh my! What's 'rong Miss. Worthington?" Brigid shouted over Felicity's shrieks.

"My stomach!" Felicity cried out with tears running down her cheeks. "I think I may have appendicitis."

"I'll get Missus Nightwing."

"Oh no! Don't do that." Felicity rolled to look at Brigid with pleading eyes. "She's chaperoning Pippa and Mr. Bumble. I wouldn't want to interrupt them." Brigid paused, but Felicity filled the silence with another tortured wail.

"Missus Nightwing will know what to do. Another student will 'ave to chaperone." Felicity erupted with another cry of pain and Brigid took off running.

"You sound so convincing," Ann admired.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures." Mrs. Nightwing showed up a few minutes later with Dr. Thomas in tow. Like a mother would, she immediately took control of the room. Her hands went to Felicity's head and wiped off some of the sweat that had erupted with all the effort.

Dr. Thomas began touching her stomach over the appendices. He pushed down lightly and Felicity made sure to squeal each time. Meanwhile, Nightwing massaged Felicity's arms and tried to calm her.

"Is it serious?" Nightwing asked when Dr. Thomas had finished rubbing the spot.

"No. It's not even appendicitis," he answered. Standing up straight, he turned toward Felicity who was still moaning and rolling about. "Have you ever been overcome by a case of hysterics?"

"No," Felicity answered in between sobs.

"Well that is what I believe this is. Your stomach doesn't hurt at all. You just have a lot of pressure build up. I can cure this, but it will involve methods that may be uncomfortable to you at first."

"I don't want it then," Felicity answered. She did not want it at all and would have none of that unless Pippa needed more time. But she knew she didn't. It had been fifteen minutes—plenty of time to send Mr. Bumble packing.

"She'll have it," Mrs. Nightwing interrupted. "We don't want to have any further outbursts in the future."

"But I-"

"Miss Worthington, I know you are afraid, but I promise this operation is painless. Some women even admit to enjoy this operation. Just relax and allow Dr. Thomas to work on you. I will make sure no one comes in until you are done."

With that Nightwing left the room in a hurry to get back to Pippa and Mr. Bumble. "I will need you to relax," Dr. Thomas began as he dug in his bag. "I know this will seem odd at first, but I must ask you to pull your petticoats back so I can reach your carnal areas."

"I really don't need this," Felicity answered, not moving her dress at all and squeezing her legs tight. "I feel fine now."

"If I don't help now, you will have another outburst in the near future. I promise this won't hurt."

Felicity could not see the device he pulled out, but she knew what it was meant to do. Feeling defeated and a little angry that once again a man was going to touch her and there was nothing she could do about it, Felicity pulled back her dress. "Spread your legs please," Dr. Thomas asked quietly. Felicity did as she was told because she knew there was no way out of this. Mrs. Nightwing would insist.

The device in Dr. Thomas's hand began to make this odd sound that electric lights sometimes made. She felt his cold fingers touch the sensitive skin of her womanhood. Her eyes squeezed shut just as he placed the small, vibrating object against her most tender of places. Her body jumped instinctively, but he applied more pressure to the spot.

Felicity's anger vanished as the object picked up speed. It was now humming loudly as Dr. Thomas rubbed it over her pleasure center. All the emotions that Felicity had been hiding came pouring out her mouth with each gasp. She could not believe that she was enjoying something so obviously sexual, but she was. Her mind started to wander to far off places—places where Pippa was doing this for Dr. Thomas.

Felicity began to feel the pressure building within her. She gasped and writhed around as her body tried to release whatever was under the surface. Finally, after Felicity was soaked in sweat and moaning loud enough for the whole hall to hear, she felt the sweet release that her body had been aching to emit for a long time. Dr. Thomas slowed the vibrating object down little-by-little while Felicity caught her breath. Finally it stopped all together.

"How do you feel?" Dr. Thomas asked as he cleaned off the device and put it away.

Felicity struggled to find the words. She was tired, that much she knew. But something else was different too. "Relaxed," she settled on.

"Very good. You might be a little sore down there tomorrow, but nothing serious. I suggest you rest for a little while longer today before going back to your normal daily activities." Dr. Thomas stood and poured Felicity a glass of water. She drank it down in three gulps. "I must ask you though, Miss. Worthington. Have you been touched there before?"

"Why do you ask?" Felicity asked, panicked. She knew that if Dr. Thomas told someone her reputation would be compromised.

"You show some scarring down there. I was just wondering if you were still chaste. But in order for me to know without your words, I would have to do a full check-up down there. I won't do that because it is not what I'm here for."

"I am still chaste," Felicity lied.

"This is completely confidential, Miss Worthington. I won't tell anyone if you need to talk about it."

"I'm fine," Felicity answered. "No one has touched me down there."

"I believe you then," Dr. Thomas replied, but Felicity could tell that he did not. "I will send Mrs. Nightwing up in a few minutes to check on you. Have a good day and tell Miss Cross to call if she isn't feeling too well."

"I will," Felicity answered, relieved that he was leaving. She was still too relaxed to become upset at the conversation they had, but she was not pleased to know that he could tell something was not right down there. It was as if the scars she always knew existed were visible to others. What did that mean for her? She was damaged.

Mrs. Nightwing came in a few minutes later with a cup of tea. "How do you feel?"

"Better," Felicity responded as she sipped the tea.

"I always feel better after one of those operations as well." Felicity nearly choked on her tea as she pictured Nightwing going through what she just experienced. "You will return to your normal activities when you finish this tea. Brigid will come in and clean your sheets before tonight.

"Thank you," Felicity responded because it was the only response that seemed valid.

"You're welcome. I'll see you downstairs in a few minutes."

"Of course." Felicity finished off her tea and stood. At first her legs wobbled, but she steadied herself. Her undergarments were a little moist, but other than that she felt fine. With a sigh, she left her room in hopes of finding her friends. She wanted to know if Pippa had successfully rid of Mr. Bumble for good.


	55. Chapter 55

**Well here is a long chapter :) I hope you all enjoy it.**

In the comfort of Felicity's tent the girls were free to tell their stories of the day in private. Felicity laughed so hard tears streamed down her cheeks as Pippa and Gemma retold what had happened with Mr. Bumble. Her side and jaw hurt when they had finally exhausted all the giggles and silence folded over them.

"Oh, that's sublime," Felicity said as she wiped a tear of her face. "Let us hope that is the last we shall see of the unfortunate Mr. Bumble."

"Mrs. Bartleby Bumble." Pippa spat out the B's hard. "Can you imagine the horror of that?" Laughter filled the tent again, but died much quicker.

"Gemma, I want to go again," Felicity sighed when all was quiet.

"Me too," Ann agreed with a nod.

"It might be pressing our luck to do it again so soon."

"Do be a sport," Ann pleaded with desperate hope in her eyes.

Felicity saw an opportunity to use some of her charm and persuasion skill. "Yes, after all, nothing terrible happened. And think of how marvelous it's been having all that power at our fingertips. Perhaps your mother was simply doing what mothers do best—worrying needlessly."

"Perhaps," Gemma agreed. Felicity watched as her eyes glazed over. She was thinking—debating it in her head. The moment dragged on as the girls waited for their answer. "All right then. The caves it is."

Felicity, satisfied with the conclusion, was ready to change the subject and tell the others about her day, but Pippa did not feel the same. "Oh, honestly, I'm too tired to run off to the woods tonight."

"We could do it right now, right here," Felicity whispered as the idea formed in her head.

"Are you mad?" Pippa gasped. "With Mrs. Nightwing and all the others around us?"

Felicity lifted a piece of scarf the hid them away. All over the room girls were clumped in small groups. No one even glanced over once. "They'll never know we were gone."

"I think she's right," Gemma responded. "We'll make it quick."

"I don't think this is a good idea," Ann mumbled. She, after all, had to protect her reputation if she were to have a future.

"No one will miss us, Ann," Felicity promised, wrapping her arm around the plump girl's shoulder. Ann blushed and nodded her head, defeated.

"Come on, then," Gemma said with her hands outstretched. "We don't have much time." Felicity grabbed her sure hand while reaching for Ann's. Soon the girls were back on that mountaintop.

Felicity's dreams were not much different than the last time. Only now the urgency in the kiss with Pippa was less. She savored the sensation, but was not hungry for it. The image disappeared and in a blur the girls had made it back to the tent. Their bodies were strong enough to hold the magic this time without feeling drunk and tired.

Felicity took in her surroundings. Outside the tent everything had slowed. She moved out into the great hall and stood. Mrs. Nightwing was reading _David Copperfield_ aloud to the younger girls. Her voice was deep and slow—almost unrecognizable. Gemma reached out and touched her arm lightly. Slowly, without stopping reading, her hand scratched the spot where Gemma had touched.

Pippa yelped with joy at the realization of what was happening. "They can't see us! It's as if we aren't really here! Oh the things I'd like to do…"

"Why not do them?" Felicity replied as flashes of all the cruel things she could do overlapped in her sharp mind. She reached over and flipped the book in Nightwing's hands. It took Mrs. Nightwing a second to realize what has happened, but when she did, she was perplexed. The girls at her feet covered their mouths to stifle the laughter.

"Why is everything so slow?" Gemma asked as she placed her hand on one of the marble columns. Felicity gasped as the tiny creatures on the column began to move.

"You see things the way they really are now," a little gargoyle said. "The others think this is dreaming. But they live in the dream, not us." He spat and wiped his nose on his wing when his little speech was over.

"Ugh. Disgusting," Felicity said. "I'm tempted to squash him." With a screech the gargoyle ran further up the column, out of reach.

A glimmering fairy boy with yellow eyes peered up at Gemma. "Why don't you free us then?" His voice was a murmur, seductive. Felicity wondered if that was a good idea.

"Free you?"

"We're trapped here. Free us—just for a moment, long enough to stretch our wings."

Before Felicity could advise Gemma not to, she had done it. All of the tiny creatures scurried down the column and onto the floors. Felicity watched, slightly amused, as the room erupted in chaos. Gracious!" Pippa squealed.

Felicity watched as a tiny satyr looked up one of the younger girls dresses and howled. "So sweet and plump," her growled as he licked his lips.

"What filthy creatures," Felicity said as she laughed. "The ladies of Spence are in for a very naughty treat."

"We can't let them do this," Gemma replied with a smile. Felicity knew she was right. Those girls did not deserve to the same fate Felicity somehow kept falling into. Gemma grabbed the satyr before he could disappear under the hem of the girls dress. "Oh, no you don't," she chided, but he was already fighting back.

The little satyr bit into Gemma's hand and she dropped him. Felicity watched as the creature grew larger' so large that his head touched the ceiling.

"Let's see how you taste, sweet or sour," he hissed, looking at Felicity.

"What's happening?" Pippa shrieked. "Make it stop." The satyr glanced down at the screaming Pippa and Felicity saw the look in his eyes. He had a new target. Felicity was ready to protect.

"Stop this instant!" Gemma shouted. The satyr's eyes did not leave Pippa as he laughed.

"It isn't working! Why isn't it working?" Pippa exclaimed as she dug her hands into Gemma's arms.

"I don't know!"

"I knew this was a bad idea," Pippa chided.

"We've go to get them back on the columns," Felicity interrupted as she sought frantically for Ann. She finally found Ann hiding behind Nightwing. Not wanting to leave Pippa unprotected, Felicity grabbed tight to her hand. The satyr growled when Felicity tried to pull Pippa away. Behind all the commotion Felicity could hear Gemma torturing a gargoyle in exchange for information.

The gargoyle shouted for help, but the satyr—the leader—only laughed. "Proceed," he said. "What's one less gargoyle in the world? It should prove most amusing." His eyes locked back on Felicity as he moved in toward the girls. Pippa gripped tightly to Felicity as Fee hid her behind her own warrior body.

The satyr, hearing the gargoyle giving Gemma the words to freeze them, turned away. He began to stalk toward her. "Go on, then! Say it!" Felicity shouted when Gemma had not repeated the phrase yet.

"For your lies in marble shall you lie…" Gemma began her voice dry. Screeches from every creature in the room interrupted Gemma's thoughts. The satyr was closing in. "For a thousand years and never die!"

"Felicity watched as the satyr shrunk back down. All the creatures flew backwards through the air and stuck fast to the column. Slowly, the marble froze them back in their rightful place. Once again the room was silent.

Pippa was the first to break the silence. "I never did like this room. Now I know why."

"I think I've had enough magic for one night," Felicity responded. She was sweat-drenched and frightened.

"One last bit of fun," Ann whispered from near Cecily and Elizabeth. There was a mischievous glint in her eye that Felicity had never seen.

"What are you going to do?" Pippa asked.

"Nothing they don't deserve."

"And what, pray tell, do they deserve?" Gemma replied as she walked over to Ann.

"This," she answered. Her hands began to unlace the corset on Elizabeth's back. Felicity watched, but soon realized where she was going with this.

"We must work fast," Felicity chimed as she began to unlace Cicely's corset too. "Or else they will notice too soon."

"We are going to undress them?" Pippa squealed. Ann's answer was simple; she pulled Elizabeth's dress up over her head. Felicity already had Cecily down to her undergarments.

"I need your help, Pip," Felicity demanded. "When I lift her, pull her pants off."

"But she will be completely naked if we remove everything!" Gemma gasped.

"That's the point," Ann said confidently. "Help me, Gemma." Gemma does as she is told. Soon both girls are completely nude.

Felicity took one quick look at her handiwork and smiled. "To the tent," she commanded as she led the charge away from the naked girls. Once everyone was situated again, she focused the magic on making time move at a normal speed again. "Should be right about…now," she said, opening the scarf door in time to hear ear-piercing screams.

"Merciful heavens!" Mrs. Nightwing screeched as the four girls leaned out to see. Cicely and Elizabeth, for their part, squealed and tried to hide behind each other. "What is the meaning of this?" Mrs. Nightwing boomed, the book dropping to the floor with a thud. The room erupted in nervous laughter and pointing. Finally, Miss Moore covered them with a blanket. Mrs. Nightwing's shock wore off and she pulled them into the hall. Felicity listened with a grin as Nightwing's voice reached new heights.

"Now that was brilliant," Felicity snickered. Ann beamed at Felicity—a silent "thank you."

"Nightwing probably thinks they are Sapphists overcome by their passion," Pippa jokes. Felicity and Ann exploded in more laughs.

"Have we been set upon by hyenas?" Miss Moore interrupted. Felicity struggled to compose herself before answering.

"Forgive us, Miss Moore. We shouldn't laugh. That display was most shocking," Felicity said, her voice cracking on the word "shocking."

"Yes. Shocking. And very strange." Felicity watched as Miss Moore gazed at Gemma as if she knew. Gemma, not one to me nonchalant, looked only at the floor. "May I come in?"

"Yes, please do," Pippa answered, making room inside.

"I've never been in the inner sanctum before, Felicity. It's quite nice."

"I know another place that's far lovelier," Felicity responded, teasing the tinniest bit.

"Really? Any place I might've been?"

"Oh, I don't think so. It's a secret place. A sort of private paradise."

"Best not tell me, then. I don't know if I could be trusted in paradise." Felicity listened to the almost girlish laugh come from Miss Moore's mouth and wondered why she was always so unsettling. "What is this you're reading?" Miss Moore asked, scattering all of Felicity's thoughts. Ann reached for the diary, but Miss Moore was faster.

"It's just some silly romance. We found it in the library. After your suggestion," Felicity answered.

"Was this my suggestion?"

"Going to the library, I mean."

Miss Moore opened the diary and Felicity fidgeted uneasily. " 'The Secret Diary of Mary Dowd.' My…" A page fell on the floor. "What's this?"

Felicity's eyes settled on the illustration as it fluttered to the floor. Nearly knocking Gemma over in the process, Felicity secured the picture before Miss Moore could have a better look. "Nothing," Felicity answered the question. "Just some doodling."

"I see," Miss Moore mumbled as she turned page after page.

"We take turns reading it aloud," Ann offered when the silence was strangling.

"Perhaps tonight I shall join you. Would you indulge me?"

"Of course," Felicity croaked. She could not say no, but she worried what was in the pages. "I'll show you where we left off. We're almost to the end, I believe." Finally, finding the page, Felicity handed the diary back with a gulp. She sent a silent prayer to the skies that nothing terrible would be in that entry.

Miss Moore began reading after a moment's silence. The entry told the story of how the fire at Spence began. Mary and Sarah went into the woods, lured Caroline out, and offered her as a sacrifice. The sacrifice went sour when Mary killed Caroline. The dark creature tied itself to Sarah and Eugenia Spence sacrificed herself to save the girls. The realms were closed and Mary ran off. Sarah died.

"Please go on," Pippa whispered when Miss Moore stopped.

"I can't. There is no more. That is where our story ends, it would seem, in a dark wood." She stood and straightened her skirt. "Thank you for sharing with me, ladies. It was most interesting." Before anyone could respond, she was gone.

"I can't believe Mary killed that poor little girl," Ann said, saddened.

"Yes. Who would do such a thing?" Felicity asked the group. Somehow though she knew that she would make a sacrifice if need be. But she chose to believe that she would never sacrifice a human. An animal was all.

"A monster," Gemma answered.

"Indeed," Pippa agreed. The clock struck ten and it was time to head upstairs for bed. The girls headed to their rooms silently. The shock of the night was too much to bear. Pippa and Felicity did not even talk as they readied for bed. Felicity thought about everything that had happened to Mary and Sarah. She vowed, right before sleep overpowered her, that she would never allow her drive for power to cause her to kill a human. Along with that promise, she vowed to never leave Pippa to die like Mary did Sarah.


	56. Chapter 56

**So this one is super short, but the next is really long :)**

Felicity spent the following day trying to recover from all the sleepless nights and magic binges. Her lips were cracked and muscles sore. She barely had the energy to focus in her classes. Even so, Gemma seemed worse off—somehow more exhausted. News that Circe was Sarah-Rees Tomb set Felicity on a new mission. She wanted to learn more about the strange girl so similar to herself. But Felicity was also determined to never be like Circe. She would not make the same choices.

Now that the girls knew who Circe was, they longed to learn more about Mary. They spent most of their afternoon scouring the school for the missing class portrait from 1871. Felicity had no luck on her floor, but during the time she came to some conclusions about her life. She made a promise that she would tell Pippa of her feelings when the time arose. She figured the opportune time would be after their debut when they were supposed to travel to Paris.

Gemma did not attend dinner that night; nor did she meet the others in the tent later that night. Felicity, Ann, and Pippa agreed that they would travel to the realms that night to play in the garden like old times. Pippa enthused about her plans to tell the knight about her successful side-stepping of Mr. Bumble. Ann wanted to sing and be beautiful. Felicity only wanted one thing. She longed to talk to the huntress about the magic and how to get it.

Felicity was displeased when Gemma refused to take them to the realms that night. Even so, she knew that the next night would be better. Felicity was sure that Gemma would take them after a good night's sleep. She had to hold tight to that false belief or else she would have been miserable.


	57. Chapter 57

**Two chapters in one day! I'm on a roll. Just kidding. But yes, here is another one. It is long and took forever. Therefore, I would appreciate feedback. **

The following day was gloomy indeed. Felicity awoke to rain outside her window. Pippa was still asleep as she began preparing herself for the day. Having a full night of sleep revived Felicity of her life—her spark. She was ready to approach her day and preferably her night.

All went well that day until Pippa was pulled out of Miss Moore's art class by Mrs. Nightwing. Felicity fidgeted in her seat as Pippa left because the expression on Nightwing's face could break a mirror. "What do you think happened?" Gemma whispered to Felicity as Miss Moore showed them how to paint a perfect leaf.

"It doesn't look too promising whatever it is," Felicity responded. "Do you think her parents found out about Mr. Bumble?"

"It's possible."

"Mrs. Nightwing looked very angry," Ann stated to join the conversation.

Miss Moore stopped talking and looked toward the group of girls. "Is there something you would like to share with the class, Miss Worthington? Miss Doyle? Miss Bradshaw?"

"My apologies, Miss Moore," Felicity responded with a hint of melancholy in her voice. "We were only worried about Pippa. Do you know why Mrs. Nightwing escorted her away from your classroom?"

"I do not, Miss Worthington. Whatever the case, it's none of your business. Now can I please get back to my painting?"

"Of course," Gemma answered. The rest of the class period dragged on slowly. Felicity continued to worry when Pippa did not return to class. When she missed the following classes as well, Felicity began inventing lies in her head for any scenario. It wasn't until Mrs. Nightwing insisted that Ann, Gemma, and Felicity join her in her office that Felicity realized how much trouble she could be in.

Felicity led her friends into the office with her head held high. She would not go out without her dignity. When she entered the office her eyes immediately found Pip. Pippa gave her a look that seemed to say "I'm sorry," but Fee did not know for sure if that was the right interpretation. Her eyes left Pippa's and scanned the rest of the room. Mr. Bumble and Mr. Cross were seated off to the side. In the seat next to Pippa was an angry Mrs. Cross. There were three empty seats waiting directly across from Mrs. Nightwing.

"Have a seat, Ladies," Mrs. Nightwing encouraged when they stopped in the doorway. Felicity nodded once, swallowed her fear, and took the seat nearest to Pippa. When they were all comfortable, Mrs. Nightwing began again. "I am sure you know why you are here."

Felicity nodded once and looked to Mrs. Cross. She was peering back with hatred in her eyes. Mrs. Cross had never liked Felicity much and now was her chance to blame her instead of admitting that her own daughter was out of her control. "Your little charade with Mr. Bumble was most shocking and disgracing. I would like the three of you to apologize to him, now." Mrs. Nightwing did not break her gaze from Felicity's eyes as she spoke. Felicity knew that Nightwing blamed her as well.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Bumble," each of the girls mumbled.

"I forgive you," he responded. "But I do hope you will learn a lesson from this. I presume Mrs. Nightwing will punish each of you for your part in this debauchery of marriage."

"I will deal with their punishments later," Mrs. Nightwing assured. "For now we need to decide how to restore both of your reputations."

"I will still marry Miss Cross as long as we can do it quickly."

"I think that is for the best," Mr. Cross added. "Can we have it arranged by the end of the week?"

"I can make it work. Is that enough time for you to secure a dress, Mrs. Cross?"

"Yes," Mrs. Cross answered with no emotion in her voice. Felicity glanced at Pippa in time to see a small tear escape. She longed to reach out and wipe it away—to promise Pippa the world and more if only she ask. It was time, Felicity concluded. She would tell Pippa everything—tonight.

Felicity could not listen to Mrs. Nightwing sooth the adults in the room. She was too busy planning what would happen. She only knew the basics, but they were enough to get them through the next few days. Felicity was going to talk to the huntress first. She would find out how to obtain magic of her own. When that was settled, she would tell Pippa everything. The two would run off together the following morning. Felicity did not have much money with her, but it was enough to get them through a few days. Ithal would help them get away from Spence. At some point Felicity knew she would have to make the sacrifice, but it would be when both girls were ready.

The appearance of Brigid broke Felicity from her plans. "Brigid, please show Mr. Cross and Mr. Bumble to the library and offer them a glass of our best port," Mrs. Nightwing said to rid the room of the men. She was staring holes into the four girls in front of her. Felicity knew the thrashing was coming. "I do hope you'll accept this with a full apology and my assurance that there'll be no further unpleasantness," she added to Mr. Bumble.

Mr. Cross waved the idea away. "No great harm done, fortunately."

"I'm a reasonable man. But you should keep a much tighter rein on these girls," Mr. Bumble said looking toward Felicity and her friends. "They shouldn't be left to their own decisions. It's not healthy." Felicity gripped tighter to her chair to refrain from lunging at him.

"You're quite right," Mrs. Nightwing appeased. Felicity did not look away from the disgusting pig of a man that wanted to claim Pippa as his own. "I shall follow your advice to the letter, Mr. Bumble."

Feeling as if he has won, Mr. Bumble followed Brigid and Mr. Cross out of the room. Mrs. Cross stood and adjusted her gloves. "Come along, Pippa. We must have you measured for your wedding dress. I think a duchesse satin will be nice."

Felicity reached for Pippa's hand, but missed when Pippa moved it. A desperate wail fell from her crimson lips. "Please, Mother! Please don't make me marry him."

"You are shaming this family," she hissed in return. Felicity had to fight against her legs to refrain from standing and slapping the woman.

Mrs. Nightwing beat her to it. She stood between the women as she spoke. "Pippa, you shall be a beautiful bride. The talk of London. And after your honeymoon, when you are blissfully happy and this has all been forgotten, you will come visit us."

Felicity almost scoffed at the idea of Pippa being blissfully happy after that old geezer put his hands on her untouched body. Mrs. Cross, on the other hand, softened at Nightwing's words. She tenderly grabbed her daughter's chin and made a promise that Felicity was sure was a lie. "I know you despise me now. But I promise, someday you will thank me. There's and independence in marriage. Truly. If you're clever, you can have whatever you want. Now, let's see about that dress, shall we?" Pippa nodded and followed her mother away. Before she had completely left the room, she peered back once. Felicity felt the anguish in Pippa's eyes in her own gut. She breathed deeply and nodded to her friend—a reminder that she would fix this, all of it.

With Pippa and Mrs. Cross gone, Felicity was forced to look at Mrs. Nightwing. She waited while Nightwing spewed, the anger coiling off of her like electric light bulbs. Finally she opened a drawer on her desk and the diary of Mary landed with a thud on the mahogany surface. Felicity felt her stomach tighten. She tried to remember if she had left it in the tent or remembered to take it back to her room. At the present, she couldn't remember what had happened.

"Who can tell me about this?" Mrs. Nightwing began, looking to each girl separately. Felicity looked her in the eyes as she tried to remember what had happened after Miss Moore left the tent that night. "Ann?"

Ann was obviously fighting back tears. "It's-s-s a b-b-book."

"I can see that it is a book. I have examined every page." Mrs. Nightwing glowered at the girls over the tops of her spectacles. "Every page."

Felicity sucked in a tight breath knowing full well what page Nightwing referred to. Her death sentence was only a few sentences away, she figured. "Miss Worthington, would you care to tell me what you were doing in possession of this diary?"

It was what she needed to hear. She did hide the diary away. "You searched my room?"

"I'm waiting for an answer. Or will I need to contact your father about this matter?" Felicity pictured her father's reaction upon the news. He would surely be angry—angry enough to teach her a lesson. Perhaps he would hit her. Maybe he would even touch her again. Both options were dreadful. Felicity could feel her eyes well up and she wanted to run forever.

"It's mine," Gemma stated before Felicity could find a response.

Mrs. Nightwing whipped her head around and peered at Gemma with new eyes. Felicity knew that Nightwing would rather it have been her fault. Everyone always wanted Felicity to be at fault. "Yours, Miss Doyle?"

"Yes."

"And where, pray tell, did you come upon such filth?"

"I found it."

"You found it? Where?"

"In the woods," Gemma answered. Felicity wondered where she was going with this. Would she tell Nightwing that a ghost child led her to it?

"It seems a great many things have been going on in the woods. Pippa has confessed to me."

Ann broke out in tears before Nightwing had finished. Felicity fidgeted as she tried to figure out just how much Pippa had spilled. Did Nightwing know about their late-night swims? The whiskey? The realms?

"She told me that Miss Moore gave you the book," Mrs. Nightwing added when enough time to set their nerves on end had passed. Felicity sat up straight, thankful that Pip had done at least one thing right. "Is this true?"

"Yes," Felicity answered calmly. "It was Miss Moore." Silently she begged Gemma to play along.

"I'm sorry to hear it. But you'll need to tell me everything, Miss Worthington."

"No. That's not true," Gemma interrupted.

"You said yourself that you got it at the library." Felicity looked at Gemma with commanding eyes. She would not go down for this. "And Miss Moore did tell us that if we wanted to know more about the Order, we should go to the library."

"The Order? Why on earth was Miss Moore filling your heads with such poppycock?"

"She took us to the caves to see their drawings."

"Some of them are in blood," Ann added. Felicity was astounded that Ann had anything at all to say, but she was pleased.

"I never gave Miss Moore leave to take you to any caves," Mrs. Nightwing said, growing softer each minute. She was beginning to see the girls as victims.

Felicity acted on Mrs. Nightwing's weakness. "She took us all the same, Mrs. Nightwing."

"That's not the way it happened. I found the diary-"

Felicity, knowing that Gemma was going to fight this, gave Gemma's arm a hard squeeze. "Mrs. Nightwing already knows what happened, Gemma. We've go to tell the truth now." Felicity turned back to Nightwing and added, "She even read part of it to us in my sitting area."

Gemma stood abruptly. "Because we asked her!"

"Miss Doyle, sit down at once!" Gemma fell back into her seat, but was still shaking with fury. "These are very serious charges against Miss Moore. Is this true, Ann?"

"Yes," Ann said without stammering once.

"Mrs. Nightwing," Gemma pleaded the urgency in her voice shocking. "It's all my fault. You can punish me as you see fit, but please don't blame Miss Moore." Felicity did not understand why Gemma was so animate about getting herself in more trouble than they already were in.

"Miss Doyle. I know your heart is in the right place, but there is nothing to be gained by protecting Miss Moore."

"But I'm not protecting her!"

"Did Miss Moore read to you from this book?"

"Yes, but-"

"And did she take you to the caves?"

"Just to see the pictographs…"

"Did she tell you stories about the occult?" Gemma nodded, knowing that Miss Moore's fate was sealed. Felicity felt her stomach knot because she had manipulated the truth to condemn another. But it was a small price to pay. She needed to protect herself first. "I know how impressionable young girls are," Mrs. Nightwing continued. "I was a girl once myself. I know how much girls wish to please and how powerful a teacher's influence can be. I shall deal with Miss Moore at once. And so that this sort of behavior does not occur again, I shall see that all the doors are locked each evening and that the keys are in my keeping until such time as you have earned my trust again."

"What will happen to Miss Moore?" Gemma whispered.

"I will not tolerate a reckless disregard for my authority in my teachers. Miss Moore will be dismissed." Before anyone can respond, a bloodcurdling scream ripped through the quiet of the room. In a flash, Felicity and her friends were following Nightwing down the stairs. At the bottom Brigid stood with something small in her hands.

"May all the saints protect me! It's her—she's come for me!" Nightwing turned Brigid around. A small gypsy doll with a lock of hair wound around its neck fell to the floor. "She's come back," Brigid whimpered. "Sweet Jesus, she's come back!" Felicity looked at the small doll and registered what it meant. Circe was back.

"Ladies," Mrs. Nightwing said with her hands still on Brigid. "I will deal with this. Go back to your rooms for the remainder of the afternoon. You each receive twenty misconduct points for your behavior."

Felicity nodded and hurried up the stairs with Gemma and Ann on her heels. "What does this mean?" Felicity whispered at the top.

"I don't know," Gemma replied. The tears she had been holding in finally fell. "But I don't want to speak to you—either of you." She turned and ran off before anyone could response.

"Good luck, Ann," Felicity mocked before running into her room as well. As soon as she had closed the door, Felicity began digging through her stuff. She wanted to know how much Nightwing had seen.

Felicity threw open her wardrobe and started digging in each crook and corner. Most items seemed in place, but not everything was there. The search was frantic as Felicity began tearing apart her side of the room. "Looking for these?"

Felicity whipped around to see Nightwing standing in her doorway with a book in one hand and a bottle in the other. She cursed internally and nodded once—accepting the fact that she was now in more trouble than she would ever recover from.

"I wish I knew where to begin, Miss Worthington. Perhaps you can tell me which is of more importance for us to discuss first. The empty bottle of whiskey? Or should we discuss this book of poetry?" Felicity did not answer. "Where did you get this book?" Mrs. Nightwing decided the Sapphic love poetry was worse than liquor.

"Paris," Felicity answered honestly.

"You purchased this at a bookstore in Paris?"

"That is what I just said," Felicity responded coldly.

"Was your mother with you when you bought this?" Mrs. Nightwing moved into the room. She was now only a few steps from Felicity. Neither sat.

"No."

"Why did you buy this particular poetry book?"

"I was interested in Sappho."

"Where had you learned of Sappho?" Mrs. Nightwing was fishing for more answers—answers that did not concern her or her school at all.

"A friend I met in Paris."

"You do realize that this book contains perverse poetry, don't you?"

"What you call perverse, I call fascinating, beautiful, and worthy of attention." Felicity knew that her tone was likely to get her in even more trouble, but she couldn't stop. She was infuriated that Nightwing had the audacity to search her room.

"Well seeing as you did not get this on school grounds, I cannot punish you for it. But I can punish you for the possession of whiskey. Where did you obtain this?"

"I stole it from the church at night," Felicity answered.

"You stole it from Reverend Waite?"

"I did."

"Theft is a serious crime, Miss Worthington. Who drank this with you?"

"No one," Felicity lied. "I drank it alone."

"You expect me to believe that you drank a full bottle of whiskey on your own?"

"It was not full when I stole it. There was only about a fourth of the whiskey left. I ran up to the church one night and stole it. Then I hid it in my closet for a week or so. One night I drank most of it and passed out on the floor. Pippa found the rest the next morning and poured it out the window."

It was a shaky lie, but it was all Felicity could think of. "Why didn't you invite Pippa, Ann, and Gemma to share it with you?"

"Gemma was not a student here yet. Ann was not my friend."

"And what about Pippa?"

Felicity knew this part of the lie had to be convincing or else Nightwing would poke holes in the lie. "I did not ask Pippa because I did not want to risk getting her in trouble if I were ever caught."

Nightwing furrowed her brows and tried to decide what to believe. "What made you want to go steal whiskey anyway? What came over you?"

Felicity knew it was not the time to hold back. She had to find an explanation that would explain everything. "Earlier that day I had come to the realization that I am in love with Pippa—that I am a Sapphist." For a second, Felicity thought Nightwing was dead. When she finally blinked, Felicity allowed herself to comprehend what she just said.

"Have you told anyone else this?" Nightwing finally whispered.

"No," Felicity answered honestly.

"Very well then." Mrs. Nightwing braced herself on the wall. Her knees shook. "It is a good thing Pippa is leaving the school. I cannot very well have you rooming with her any longer. There is no time to arrange different rooms tonight. Can you contain yourself for the night?"

"Just because I'm a lesbian doesn't mean that I don't have any self-control!" Felicity fired back as the anger continued to erupt.

"I'm sorry," Mrs. Nightwing softened. "I did not mean to imply that. I must write your parents and tell them about the whiskey. I will not tell them about the other thing because I hope it is just a phase. Goodbye Felicity." Mrs. Nightwing turned and exited without another word.

Felicity sighed as she fell back onto her sheets. Suddenly it seemed like she had way too much to do and no time. She needed to find a way to obtain a key, talk to the huntress, talk to Pippa, and run away. Plus, Felicity felt the need to retrieve the letter before it ever reached her father. Even with all the stress of what was ahead, Felicity was optimistic. She had told someone the way she felt and the world did not crumble away. There was still hope.


	58. Chapter 58

**We are getting very close to the sacrifice and other crazy stuff that goes down at the end og AGATB. I'm kinda sad as we near the end of one of Libba's books. It's been a good run and there is so much still to tell. Even so, I love AGATB and am sad to see that I have already told what needed to be told from that wonderful book. Your reviews have been splendid and simply wonderful. Thanks for the support. I guess I will stop blabbing so you can read.**

About an hour after Nightwing had left the room, Felicity stood, having finally concocted a plan for the rest of the evening. The first step was to find Molly—a maid that owed her a favor after she caught him with the stable boy over a year previously.

She began her search on Nightwing's floor, but found only one of the new staff-persons at Spence. Felicity did not know her name and thought it an inappropriate time to become accustomed with her. On the floor where the other teachers slept, Felicity found Molly. She was cleaning Mademoiselle LeFarge's room with a broom when Felicity found her.

"Molly, it is so nice to see you. How do you do?" Felicity asked politely.

Molly's cracked fingers gripped tighter around the broom when she saw who was at the door. "Miss Worthington, the pleasure is all mine. I do well. I presume you are getting on well here as well?"

"As well as one can," Felicity responded. "Oh please, don't let me stop you from your work. I only stopped by to ask a favor of you."

"I guess I always knew this day was coming. What do you need?"

"A key."

"A key to which room?" Molly asked, stepping closer because the conversation had taken a hushed tone.

"I want a key that leads outdoors."

Molly shook her head as she perched the broom against the wall. "I'm afraid I can't give you that. Mrs. Nightwing has taken all the keys to the main doors. She is carrying them as we speak."

"Is there no other key?"

"There are two skeleton keys, but-"

"I need you to acquire one for me," Felicity interrupted.

"It would be impossible." Felicity knew that nothing was impossible under the right circumstances. "Mrs. Nightwing has one."

"What of the other?"

"Rumor has it that Brigid keeps it."

"Then you will go to Brigid and ask for it."

"She would never give it to me," Molly said. Her tone implied that the conversation was over, but Felicity was not done.

"Then you will take it."

"I don't know where she keeps it."

"You will search."

"I don't have to do anything for you, Miss Worthington. I am not afraid of you."

Felicity tilted her head and looked at the mousy girl in front of her. If it were any other day, Felicity might have walked away without a fight, but that particular day she had been through too much. "You should be afraid," Felicity warned as her eyes narrowed. She stepped closer until her face was only a breath away from Molly's. "I will tell Mrs. Nightwing about your midnight tryst with the stable boy."

"You would have to admit that you were outside after curfew if you told."

Felicity had expected this response. "Yesterday that might have been a problem. But today is different. You see Molly, I was reprimanded today for the many rules I have broken. Mrs. Nightwing knows about my midnight walks in the woods. She wouldn't care because I have already been punished."

"Does she know about the Gypsy boy you carried on with—the reason you were out at night?"

Felicity was caught off guard. She hadn't realized that Molly knew anything about Ithal. She thought that no one knew. Felicity could only be taken back by the shock for a second though. She still had the advantage. "Again Molly, I am one step ahead of you. Nightwing would never believe you that I had an indecent relationship with a Gypsy man. Mrs. Nightwing would sooner believe that I carried on with a Gypsy woman."

"Why would she think that?"

"I told her to think that. Now, I want that key. I expect to find it under my mattress in my room by curfew tonight. If it is not there, I will steal away to Mrs. Nightwing's room immediately." Felicity turned on her heel and began to walk away.

"Brigid won't give me the key! She is in the midst of a panic attack. She believes the East Wing to be haunted or something!"

With another turn, Felicity was facing the frantic maid again. "What does the East Wing have to do with the key?"

"Those two skeleton keys are the only two keys left that can open the East Wing. If you had asked yesterday, I might have succeeded."

"You will find a way," Felicity answered firmly. She had to have the key no matter what it took. "You have 'til ten." With that, Felicity left her standing there with her jaw on the floor. As Felicity wandered back toward the staircase, she passed an open door. Upon glancing inside, Felicity saw Miss Moore packing up her trunks.

Felicity tried to keep walking without being seen, but it was too late. "Miss Worthington, what are you doing on this floor?"

"Looking for you," Felicity lied. "I wanted to apologize."

"That's very kind of you, but I cannot accept."

Felicity had never been rejected before. It made no sense to her that someone could refuse to accept an apology. "Why not?"

"Because," Miss Moore began as she closed one trunk and opened another. "You are apologizing not because you care about my well-being, but because you feel guilt for scapegoating me."

"Is guilt not a proper reason to apologize?"

"It is only acceptable if you wish you could change the past—fix the problem." Felicity thought about the conversation in Nightwing's office. Did she wish Gemma had been in trouble instead of Miss Moore? The answer was undoubtedly no. "You would do it all the same again. Therefore, I don't want your apology."

"I guess you are right," Felicity responded frankly. "But I am rather sad that you will be leaving. You have been a fresh change in this old place."

"I'm sure we will meet again, Miss Worthington. The world is smaller than you think."

"I doubt it. I intend to get as far away from London as possible. And I intend to do it soon."

"You can't run from the person you are—the person you have become."

"What makes you think I'm running?"

Miss Moore smiled and sat on her bed. Felicity took that as invitation to enter. She stood a few feet away—placing some of Miss Moore's clothes in an empty trunk on the floor. "When I was your age I wasn't so very different than you. Believe it or not I had a best friend that I cared for as much as you do for Pippa. But like you, I cared about myself more. And that is something you probably won't grow out of. Some people are inherently more selfish; these are the people that make great kings and queens. But in the quest for power people like us tend to lose friends.

"I lost my best friend. I lost the life I had always dreamed of. And I did some things I wish I hadn't. And now I am finally working my way back to finding what I originally wanted. But it didn't come without a cost. There are always consequences. I just hope you make better choices than I did."

"What happened to your best friend?"

"She took a different path—the better one."

"Do you regret the choices you made?" Felicity asked with concern.

"No," Miss Moore responded surely. "I can't go back and change them so I don't dwell. But when I see someone like you—so young and reckless—I worry that you will make some crucial mistakes. Just try to remember that your friends are the only people worth saving. Try to do what's right by them instead of yourself."

Felicity tossed the words around in her head for a while. It seemed like Miss Moore was leaving her some profound message—something to dwell on. But Felicity could not figure out what it meant just then. If she could have, things might have been different. The events of that night might have changed. Regardless, Felicity had a real goodbye with the one teacher that seemed to hate her and had every right to. Felicity left Miss Moore's room feeling confused and tired. But the night was just beginning. There was so much still to happen.


	59. Chapter 59

**I hope everyone had a great weekend. I know I did. Back to the writing. Enjoy and review if you want.**

"Do you think she will ever forgive me?" Pippa asked when the girls were seated in their tent of scarves after vespers and dinner.

"Gemma will eventually see that we saved her reputation and position at this school by blaming Miss Moore," Felicity responded. "You did what was right by your friend, Pip. It was an honorable thing."

"I didn't know what to do when Mrs. Nightwing showed me the diary. I wanted to melt into my seat right there."

"She had no right to search our room."

"Did she find anything else to cause concern?" Ann interjected with a curious glance.

"No," Felicity lied.

"I can't believe I'll be married to that wretched man in two days." A tear trickled down Pippa's cheek. It dropped onto her open palm. Felicity grabbed Pip's hand and held it tight.

"Maybe we can find a way to change things. There's still hope."

"No," Pippa responded. "There isn't. I will as surely become a miserable housewife as Ann will spend the rest of her days chasing around spoiled little brats." Ann was too defeated to take offense in the comment. Felicity was too hurt to respond. Pippa wasn't finished. "You will shame your family in every way possible before finally settling down with someone you actually. And Gemma, well Gemma, will probably marry someone that she loves. She will live a happy life. The four of us will lose touch and never see each other again. When we think back to this time we will remember that there was once a time when our naïveté was enough to sustain us. But I'm done dreaming—it's over."

Felicity had never heard Pippa talk in such a harsh and defeated manner. It startled her. More so, the words made her more determined to make tonight work. Felicity knew that there was no way she could damn Pippa to this fate. "You can say goodbye to your knight in the realms tonight. And after that, I suppose we can all play with the magic one last time."

"It won't be your last time," Pippa answered with more tears falling.

"I won't go back if you can't."

"Neither will I," Ann assured. "We are in this together."

"For now! Don't you get it? We aren't even friends! The only reason we continually talk is because we share a secret too big for us to keep on our own."

"Pip, you don't mean that. Ann and Gemma are our friends. Secrets are not our whole friendships."

"Well none of you can save me now so I want none of it. I'm going to bed." With that, Pippa left the tent.

"Don't listen to her, Ann. You are my friend. And she cares about you too. She's just in a bad mood."

"What if she's right? I only joined this group because Gemma insisted. Doesn't that mean that Gemma and I are friends? And you and Pippa are friends. So are we just a group of two sets of friends that associate out of necessity?"

"I don't believe that," Felicity answered surely. Maybe that had been the case when they all first began to meet, but now it was different. Felicity would never admit it out loud, but she cared for Ann's well-being as well. She wanted her to be happy too. "We are all friends. You will see."

"I'm going to bed. I will see you at midnight." Felicity did not want to sit in her tent alone. She knew Pippa would be grumpy if she went back to her room, but that was better than being left to her own devices. Felicity stood and left the tent with a sigh. She wished vaguely that she still had whiskey to get her through the night.

Once back in her room, she allowed herself to breath evenly. She still had much to do in preparation for the night's activities. She did not know how she would tell Pippa what she felt. The words would not come. Pippa did not talk as she packed some of her bags. It gave Felicity the time she needed to plan.

The key was already settled under the corner of her mattress. Felicity pulled it out and examined its shape while she imagined all the possible outcomes of what she would say later. What if Pippa rejected her? Felicity could not process how she would react then.

At ten Mrs. Nightwing began her rounds. When she entered Felicity's room, both girls were already curled up in bed with their candles blown out. "Ladies," Mrs. Nightwing whispered. "I know you are still awake. I want you to know that I do care for each of you—more than you know. That's why I had to punish you today. I want you both to grow up to be amiable women. I apologize for any time you have doubted me. Please forgive my pitfalls." Neither girl moved. "Good night then."

"What was that?" Pippa asked when Nightwing's footsteps had disappeared.

"I am not sure," Felicity responded with a smile. She was beginning to understand Nightwing better. It wasn't enough for Felicity to jump in her arms or anything; but Felicity was at least growing fonder of the older woman.

Fifteen minutes passed before Felicity got up. She slipped her cloak over her bare shoulders and grabbed the key. "Where are you going?" Pippa asked, sitting up.

"I'll be back soon."

"Can I come?"

"No." Felicity left the room before Pippa could try and follow. As she tip-toed down the hall, she wondered if the key would actually work. She was not prepared for any slip-ups in her plan. As she reached the main doors, Molly slipped out from the shadows.

"Are you going to meet that Gypsy?"

"No," Felicity whispered back. She was a little upset that Molly was distracting her.

"Where are you going then?"

"It's none of your business."

"I worked very hard to get you that key. I demand to know where you are headed. Or else I will go get Nightwing before she finishes her second glass of sherry."

"I'm going to the chapel. Now move." Felicity shoved Molly hard. She fell unto the hard floor with a bang. Felicity paused, waiting to see if anyone would come running. Nothing happened. "I apologize for that. But I am running out of time. Thank you for the key." As Molly pushed herself up off the floor, Felicity unlocked the door. Before Molly could follow, Felicity was running in the dark night.

She slowed her pace when she was far enough from the school to not be seen. The walk to the chapel alone was definitely more eerie than when she had a partner. When she reached the front doors, she hurried in silently. All was silent as she made her way up to the chapel. She dug around for a bottle that felt the same as the one they had finished off the other night. Finally, she found a half empty bottle with the same shape and label. Felicity tucked it in her cloak and ran.

She ran until she was safely back in her room. "Where did you go?" Pippa exclaimed. The candles were lit again and Pippa was reading.

"I went on a walk," Felicity lied. She slipped the cloak off and set it softly on the ground. "Are you excited to see your knight again?" she asked to change the subject.

"Yes," Pippa responded. "After tonight my life will officially end."

Felicity thought she was being a little melodramatic, but she said nothing. If Felicity had any say, tonight would be the night that both their lives officially began.


	60. Chapter 60

**Well we have finally made it to the sacrifice. I hope you enjoy :)**

At midnight exactly, Felicity and Pippa scurried out of their room ready for the night. Scratching on Gemma and Ann's door signaled their arrival. Their two friends met them in the hall before descending down the stairs and out the doors.

The cold late September weather settled inside the caves. The girls huddled together for warmth as their candles turned into hot wax in front of their eyes. At first no one said anything. But the wait became unbearable; Felicity asked Gemma if she was ready to take them.

"I will not be taking you into the realms tonight. I don't feel well."

"But why won't you take us?" Pippa wailed as the last of her hope for the night diminished.

"I've told you. I don't feel well." Felicity watched as Pippa's eyes faded. She was on the brink of tears again. Felicity would not settle for Gemma denying Pip one more night of fun and youth.

Before Felicity could find the right words, Pippa tried a new angle. She hurried over to Gemma's lap and put her face in it the way children do to their mother's. "Please, Gemma? Darling, darling Gemma?" she begged desperately. "I'll let you wear my lace gloves. I'll let you keep them!"

"No!"

Pippa was taken aback by the sudden influx of anger, but an idea was already forming in Felicity's mind. She knew what it would take to enter the realms on that night. "Fee, you talk to her. I'm doing no good."

"It would seem Gemma won't be moved this evening."

"Now what shall we do?" Pippa whined.

"There's still some whiskey left. Here have a little." Felicity pulled the new bottle out of the rocky crevice she had hid it in as soon as she entered the cave. Pippa looked a little surprised that the bottle was half-full, but said nothing. "This will change your mind." Felicity took two large gulps of the hot liquid and dangled the bottle in front of Gemma. In response, Gemma moved to another rock. "Are you still cross about Miss Moore?"

"Among other things."

"Fine. Go off and sulk then. Who wants a drink?" Pippa reached for the bottle first. After a few swigs, she passed to Ann. Felicity kept the whiskey circulating until her lips were numb and her stomach warm. She felt pleasantly light and ready for what had to be done later. She now knew that the sacrifice would be tonight. And after that, she was going to tell Pippa that she loved her. The whiskey dulled those nerves.

Getting an idea that a sober girl would think childish, Felicity began twirling around the cave reciting _The Lady of Shalott_ to taunt Gemma. Her body whipped around in circles too fast to keep up with the sights around her. The wall came suddenly into view and her arms barely caught her before crashing into it. Felicity's mood had changed. She was ready. She turned around with her back against the cold lining of the cave. "Pip, darling, do you really want to see your knight?"

"More than anything!" Felicity grabbed the soft hand of her desperate friend and pulled her out into the night.

"Wait for me!" Ann yelled, following as quickly as she could.

"Felicity, what are you up to?" Gemma asked as she wandered out of the cave too.

"Something new." Felicity broke out in a devilish wolf howl that echoed across the blinking sky.

"Shhhh," Pippa reprimanded. "You'll wake the entire school."

"No one will hear us. Mrs. Nightwing had two sherries tonight. We couldn't wake her if we placed her in the center of Trafalgar Square with a pigeon in each hand." Ending her little speech, Felicity howled again.

"I want to see my knight."

"And you will."

"Not if Gemma won't take us." The accusation in Pippa's tone was like a whip snap through the air.

"We all know there's another way," Felicity said, changing her tone to persuasive.

"What do you mean?" Pippa asked, a quiver in her voice. Something stirred in the trees. Twigs broke and the girls all jumped. A deer wandered toward the clearing in search of food. Felicity smiled at her luck.

"It's only a deer," Ann exhaled in a whoosh.

"No, Felicity responded. "It's our sacrifice." As the moon dipped behind a cloud, Felicity began planning her strategy to catch the deer without her bow.

"You aren't serious," Gemma said with a new intensity in her tone.

"Why not? We know they did it. But we'll be smarter." The words sounded false on Felicity's lips, but she had no other choice. Pippa had to know how she felt and it had to be on that night.

"But they couldn't control it-"

"We're stronger than they are. We won't make the same mistakes. The huntress told me that it is rather simple."

"What about the huntress?" Gemma spewed.

"She tells me things. Things you are not privy to. She's the one who told me I could have the power if I offer her a token."

"No…that's not-"

"She told me you'd react this way. That you couldn't be trusted because you want the power of the realms all to yourself." The huntress had never said these words in so many words, but Felicity was growing more convincing each second. She started to believe her own words because Gemma was not convincing otherwise.

"You can't do this. I won't let you."

Felicity stepped closer to Gemma. So close that she could taste the breath coming out of Gemma's parted lips. With one easy push, Felicity sent Gemma sprawling out on the ground. "You. Can't. Stop. Us."

"Felicity…" Ann whimpered.

"Don't you see? Gemma wants the power all to herself! She wants power over us."

"That's not true," Gemma insisted as she struggled to her feet.

"Then why won't you take us?" Pippa whispered from behind Gemma.

"I can't tell you."

"She doesn't trust us," Felicity stated. It was the truest thing she had said all night. She knew now it was only a matter of time before Pippa and Ann agree to make the sacrifice. She had won.

"I wouldn't have to marry him. Would I?"

Felicity took Pippa's hands in her own. "We could change everything."

"Everything," Ann whispered, joining them.

"All right," Gemma said, defeated. "All right, I'll take you. Let's go back to the cave and join hands."

"That time has passed," Felicity responded.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that we are no longer content to ride on your coattails, Gemma. We'll enter the realms by ourselves, thank you."

"But I'll take-"

Pippa turned her back on Gemma. "How do we catch it?"

"We chase it to the ravine. Trap it there." Felicity unbuttoned her sleeves and shimmied out of her blouse. The cold air sent shivers up her bare skin.

"What are you doing?" Gemma asked, alarmed.

"Take them off," Felicity explained to Pippa and Ann. "We can't catch a deer in corsets and petticoats. We'll never stand a chance. We've got to be naked, like the huntress." Felicity pulled the last bit of clothes off her body.

"Is it absolutely necessary?" Ann asked with her arms squeezed tight around her plump middle. "Can't we catch the deer as we are?"

"How exactly will you explain the stains to Mrs. Nightwing? Stay if you like. But I won't go back to the way it was. I can't." Pippa, looking first to her best friend, sat on the ground and began removing her boots. Ann followed suit. Felicity tried not to look at the nakedness of Pippa, but could not help herself from stealing a few glances. Suddenly the excitement of telling Pippa how she felt was almost unbearable. She wanted to do it right then, but the moment passed when Pippa and Ann stood—waiting for directions.

Gemma had tried to warn them while they peeled off their clothes, but they were now on Felicity's side. Felicity crouched low and watched as Pippa and Ann copied her movements. The deer looked up, sensing danger, and darted into the trees. Felicity was up in a flash.

Her feet worked quickly as she chased the deer. She could hear her own heart hammering away in her chest as she leaped over fallen trees. Her friends tried to keep up, but they were always at least twenty feet behind. The deer tried to veer left, but Felicity cut it off. Finally it was headed straight toward the ravine. It disappeared over the edge with a crash.

Felicity leaped over the edge and landed on a crouch on the steep slope. Above her she could hear Ann and Pippa trying to keep from falling over the edge. Their breath was labored and shot white puffs from their lips. Felicity held a finger up to her lips before crouching even lower.

Slowly, she stalked her prey. When she reached the bottom, her hands touched the soft brown fur. Trying to soothe the injured deer, she made cooing noises and other comforting sounds. Finally, it had relaxed. She refused to kill it if it was scared. She found a heavy rock and lifted it over her head. With a deep breath and one lonely tear on her cheek, she came down hard on the deer's head. She heard the cracking of bones first, then the struggled moan inside its soft mouth.

Before she could change her mind, Felicity hit the head with the rock again. She continued this over and over until the deer was still beneath her. She glanced up at her friends so they could come down too. Ann and Pippa hurried down and each had their turn with the deer. Both shed a few tears on the deer's silky fur as their hands did the unthinkable. Felicity took back the rock when they were done and encouraged them to head back up the ravine. She arrived at the top last.

"It's done," she said, coldly. Handing the rock to Gemma, Felicity glanced at her friends. The crimson blood appeared black on the pale skin of her friends. They looked like something straight from horror novel.

"What happens now?" Ann asked.

"We hold hands and make the door of light appear," Felicity answered surely. She reached out and grabbed the hands of both girls. With her eyes closed, Felicity concentrated on the door. Nothing happened. She tried again. Still nothing.

"Where is it?" Pippa asked. "Why don't I see it?"

Felicity felt all the hope draining from her. She was betrayed. The huntress lied. And Pippa was completely heart-broken. "She promised…" A twig breaking to her left distracted Felicity enough to regain control. The Gypsy boy that Gemma kissed stepped into the clearing. His eyes took in the bloodstained girls and he tried to retreat, but Felicity had found him.

"What are you doing here?" she screamed. His eyes looked to Gemma and Felicity saw her chance. Suddenly it felt like it was his fault that they couldn't summon the door. And he had looked at Pippa longingly. Felicity wanted his head on a platter. She lunged for a sharp stick on the ground and ran at him. With a push from her feet, she was on top of him. The stick tore his shirt and blood trickled from a cut. Felicity prepared the stick for the kill. "I told you we'd carve your eyes out the next time," she growled.

"Stop!" Gemma shouted suddenly. Felicity did not take her eyes of the man under her. "Let him go and I'll take you into the realms."

Felicity continued to stare down at him. She wanted more than anything to punish him for wanting Pippa. She wanted to take out all her anger on him. "Fee," Pippa whined. "She's going to take us." That is all it took. Felicity released the Gypsy and sauntered back to her friends.

"She'll give us the power once we're there. I'm sure of it." But Felicity was not sure. Everything was going wrong on the one night she needed everything to go right.

The girls walked back to their clothes and dressed in a hurry. "Take my hands," Gemma whispered when they were ready. Felicity felt her fingers grip around Gemma's hand and she wandered if she would always have to rely on someone else. Would she ever be powerful enough to do something on her own?


	61. Chapter 61

**I can't believe that I am already at this chapter. I hope everyone is enjoying the story. We are almost through AGATB. Reviews would be appreciated.**

The realms were exactly as Felicity remembered when she entered. "You see? There's nothing amiss," Felicity said when the four girls had entered the familiar garden. "I told you she only wanted the power for herself." Pippa giggled and grabbed Felicity's hand. Ann took the other. Together the three girls marched on toward the meadow.

A breeze rustled the branches and brought all the scents Felicity loved. She thought she smelled something amiss, but refused to admit it because then Gemma would have been right.

"Wait! Felicity, please listen, I think we should go back." Gemma caught up with the girls, but could not budge her stubborn friends.

"Go back? We just got here," Felicity mocked.

"We're not going back without the power to cross over by ourselves," Ann added coolly. Suddenly the huntress appears by Gemma's side. Felicity smiled at her arrival, but noticed that something was different. She couldn't quite place it though so she pretended nothing was wrong.

The huntress looked at the blood splattered blonde and wiped some of the blood away with her thumb. Bringing the finger to her mouth, she tasted the remains of the sacrifice. "You've made a sacrifice, I see."

"Yes," Felicity answered. "Will you grant us the power to enter the realms?"

"Didn't I promise that I would?" The huntress smiled and Felicity realized what had changed. She was cold—as if she had no care for Felicity's well-being at all. "Follow me." Felicity could have easily turned away at that point, but the temptation of magic was enough to wash away her doubts.

Felicity turned to follow the huntress when Gemma's hands locked tightly around her arm. "This is wrong. We shouldn't go."

"No, something's finally right." Felicity broke away from Gemma's grasp and caught up with her friends. The huntress led the girls to the silver arch and then finally to the Runes of the Oracle.

"What do we do now?" Pippa asked when the huntress stopped.

"Use the magic to take me through to the other side," the huntress responded.

"If we join hands and take you through, you'll give us the power we need, to come and go as we please?"

"Not me. My mistress. She will give you what you deserve."

Felicity suddenly felt sick. The huntress never said anything about a mistress before now. And there was only one mistress out there that Felicity knew off. Circe. "Your mistress?" The question came out without Felicity's permission.

Gemma's hand for the second time that night laced around Felicity's arm. This time Felicity didn't pull away. She took a step back from the huntress who now seemed to be growing taller. Her eyes went black. "Come to me, my pretty ones," she hissed from her closed mouth.

The sky opened into a rumbling sea of black clouds. The huntress rose taller and molded into a screaming spirit that even Mary Shelly could not imagine. The ghastly spirit wore a cape with the souls of the damned tucked neatly inside. Their screams blended with her beastly grunts and snarls.

Felicity watched the skeletal face as it called to her. She could hear the screeching calling for her to join them and forever be powerful. The eyes of the spirit were back holes rimmed in red. Gemma tried to pull Felicity out of the way, but it was too late. The wraith clamped a hand onto Felicity's free arm. Everything in Felicity's body chilled—turning her veins, heart, arteries, and lungs into a winter wonderland. She struggled to breathe.

Felicity could not see or hear anything. All she knew was that she was deathly cold and her soul was fading. She wondered if this was what death was like. She felt something hard on her arm, but couldn't see anything but the black eyes of the wraith. Her body was being pulled. With each step the ice inside her soul was cracking, melting, thawing.

Her vision was returning. She saw that Gemma was running with her—dragging her really. Felicity begged her feet to work. At first she was stumbling, but finally the warmth pushed away all the cold and Felicity could run. She began looking around frantically for Pippa.

"Help me!" Ann screamed. Felicity looked over to see Ann ripping at her hair. The river tainted her reflection. Gemma ran to Ann, shouting commands as she went. Felicity continued to look for the girl she still hadn't confessed her love for.

Felicity glanced back to see Gemma pulling as hard as she could on Ann's body without any budge. She sprinted to the spot and grabbed tight on Ann's arms. With one heavy push the girls flew back, away from the river's edge.

"Where's Pippa?" Ann shouted. Felicity was screaming the same question inside her head.

"I don't know," Gemma answered. Felicity prepared to run however far she needed to go to find Pippa, but was distracted when something slivered around her ankle. Snakes came from every where in the grass. The girls jumped onto a rock and looked around frantically for Pippa.

"Help me!" the voice Felicity had already begun to miss wafted up through all the terrible noises the wraith had elicited. Felicity ran first toward the sound. She finally saw her friend. Pippa had taken a boat into the river and was now stuck in the center. The wraith paced the shore, forcing Felicity to stay back.

"Yes, that's it…come for her…" it taunted.

"Please! Help me!" Pippa cried. Felicity was already devising a plan. Gemma would run left and Ann right. Felicity would run at the wraith. They would retrieve Pip. Felicity did not know if she could be saved in this plan, but Pippa deserved a chance to live.

"Through the door—quickly!" Gemma shouted, breaking up Felicity's carefully plotted thoughts.

"We can't leave Pip!"

"We'll come back for her!"

"No!" Felicity could not believe that Gemma was even considering leaving Pippa behind.

"Don't leave me!" Pippa wailed, moving to the edge of the boat.

"Pippa—no!" It was too late. Felicity watched as the love of her life plunged into water that turned to ice over her. The scream from Pippa was the last thing Felicity heard. She didn't realize it, but tears had begun to fall.

"Pippa! Pippa!" Felicity screamed, but there was no reply. The wraith raced toward the girls, but Felicity didn't move.

"Felicity, we've got to go—now!" Felicity felt Gemma pulling her along until finally they were through the door. The cave dimmed as the girls fell into it. They were all there and accounted for, but Pippa was not as she should have been. She was gripped in a seizure so powerful that Felicity was afraid to touch her.

"Pippa? Pippa?" Ann cried from a distance.

"You left her there! You did it!" Felicity's accusations were the only way she could deal with all the pain she was feeling. The last candle went out.

"We need to get her back to the school," Gemma responded. "I will go get help."

"I can carry her!" Felicity shouted. Her hands went down over the flailing body, but she couldn't lift her. When she looked back up, Gemma was gone. "Ann! Hold her head steady!" Ann hesitated, but then obeyed Felicity's commands. "Put this between her teeth!" Felicity held out the cork to the whiskey bottle.

While Ann tried to steady Pippa's thrashing head, Felicity worked on her body. In order to pin Pip's arms down, Felicity had to straddle her friend. Her body shook and rocked as Pippa's skin worked to contain whatever was inside her fighting to get out.

Gemma returned with the Gypsy boy. Felicity immediately noticed the bandage across his bare chest. "Be careful!" she shouted as he hoisted Pippa up over his shoulder. The seizing body continued to thrash at him, but he carried her easily back to the school.

The Gypsy set Pippa in her bed before turning to leave without a word. Gemma was already gone—getting Mrs. Nightwing for help.

"Wait!" Felicity whispered as she followed the Gypsy into the hall. He turned and looked at her with curious eyes. "I'm sorry for earlier. And thank you." He didn't respond, but his nod told Felicity that he heard her. She could hear Nightwing running down the stairs. Felicity watched the Gypsy disappear into the darkness.

"Miss Worthington!" Mrs. Nightwing called. "I need your help!" Felicity did as she was told. Mrs. Nightwing shouted order after order. Eventually Gemma returned with Dr. Thomas. He injected something into Pippa's body to relax it. Her body softened and the thrashing ceased.

"Now what?" Felicity asked, the tears racing down her cheeks.

"We wait. Your friend has had a very serious seizure. She is in a coma now."

"Will she live?"

"I'm going to do everything I can to ensure that."

"Why don't you girls go to the library and wait. I will have Brigid bring you some tea." Mrs. Nightwing's tone is soft. Felicity nodded and did as she was told. The fight inside her was gone. All she could think of was the way Pippa looked as she pushed up against her icy tomb.

Felicity paced the library as Gemma sat in the corner. Ann had disappeared with tears in her eyes. Seconds turned to minutes, and minutes to hours. Finally the sun peeked out from behind the trees. Gemma stood briskly.

"Keep this," she said as she crumpled the crescent-eye amulet into Felicity's hands.

"But why?"

"If I don't come back…" she stopped. "If something should go wrong, you'll need to find the others. They'll need to know you're one of them." Felicity stared at the amulet in her hands. Was she ready for this responsibility? She had just betrayed Gemma hours earlier and now she was in charge. "It will be up to you to come after me. Or close the realms for good. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Felicity answered. It only came out in a whisper. "Promise you'll come back."

"I'm going to try." Felicity watched as Gemma left the room. She followed Gemma back to her room but stopped in front of her own. Ann was seated on the floor outside the door.

"Where's Gemma?"

"She went to go get Pip." Ann looked down and saw the amulet still in Felicity's hands.

"Will she come back?"

"I don't know."


	62. Chapter 62

**I apologize in advance for this chapter. It's ok to cry. I cried too. :'(**

Mrs. Nightwing opened the door that Pippa was hidden behind a few minutes after Felicity had taken a seat near Ann. "Would you girls like to see her? Dr. Thomas does not know if she can hear you, but it probably wouldn't hurt to sit with her anyway." Ann looked to Felicity first because she could sense the urgency in Mrs. Nightwing's tone. It seemed that no one believed Pippa could recover.

Felicity did not answer the question with words. She stood and entered the room without a single glance at Mrs. Nightwing's moist eyes. Dr. Thomas was packing up his medical equipment on the left side of Pippa's bed. "I will be down the hall, Miss Worthington. If any changes occur, call for me."

Felicity tried to read his expression. He seemed cold, devoid of any real emotion. She wondered if doctors had to shut out the pain of their job in order to sleep easy at night. Dr. Thomas fled the room, leaving Felicity alone with the sleeping beauty.

Pippa was pale—deathly pale. Her eyes were rimmed with black circles and her cheeks had hollowed out. For a second, Felicity thought she was actually dead. But then she saw the tiny movements of the sheets going up and down with the rise and fall of her chest.

Felicity had to force her feet to move closer to the bed. They finally made it to the large chair someone had set out. She fell into it—her legs couldn't hold her anymore. Felicity reached for Pippa's hand. There was no warmth left in those small fingers. Felicity couldn't help the tears from erupting all over Pippa's chilly palm.

"Come home," Felicity pleaded even though she was sure Pip wouldn't hear. "Please, come back to me!" The sobs ripped through her. "You don't have to marry him. We can run. I didn't get to tell you something of grave importance." Felicity composed herself because talking through the tears was not the proper way to plead for her friend to return.

"You have to come back, Pippa. There is so much we haven't said. Please don't go. I need you, Pippa." Felicity placed her head on Pippa's stomach as she talked. "You are the most important thing in my life. I need to tell you something. As soon as you can respond back I will tell you. But you have to come back first."

Felicity began to cry again. Suddenly it didn't seem enough to plead to Pippa. She needed help. She sat up, looking at the ceiling but seeing to the sky. "Bring her back!" she cried out to the heavens. "If you can really do all you say you can, bring her back to me! Please." She was desperate. Felicity was broken. And then something changed.

Color returned to Pippa in a wave washing over her. It started below the sheets and swept up to her face. Felicity leaned over watching the girl come to life again. Felicity felt for a pulse, but it was too soft for her to feel. Her head fell over her friend's chest. Each heartbeat thudded too far apart to be safe. "Pippa," Felicity whispered when she realized that her friend was dying. "I love—" But Felicity didn't finish. There wasn't enough time for words.

Her lips said all that needed to be said. Felicity gently placed her lips on Pippa's. In that split second all the warmth Pippa had left in her body left through her soft lips. Felicity breathed in deep before pulling away. Lying under white sheets below her was the shallowest and childish girl Felicity had ever known. But somehow the moment was right. Pippa was beautiful—even in death.

Felicity had never been a fan of Shakespeare, but in the moment all she could think of was what Romeo had felt lying over his fair Juliet. Her voice was only a whisper—an echo of the anguish Felicity felt in her soul. "O my love! My wife! Death, that hath suck'd the honey of thy breath, Hath had no power yet upon thy beauty. Thou art not conquer'd. Beauty's ensign yet Is crimson in thy lips and in thy cheeks, And death's pale flag is not advanced there."


	63. Chapter 63

**Another sad chapter. I will be just as happy as you once we get through this sad spell. **

The day that Pippa Cross died was the longest day Felicity had ever, and would ever, live through. Time seemed to slow to an unearthly pace as preparations were made for Pippa's funeral. A day that begins with a death tends to never end—and that's what it was like for Felicity.

She left Pippa's bedside first. Ann took her place to say goodbye. She then cried with Gemma when her red-headed friend had returned from the realms—alone. Gemma explained what had happened. She told Felicity about how happy Pippa looked in those last few seconds. Mostly Gemma promised that Pippa was safe. Felicity wanted to make herself feel the same peace of mind that both Gemma and Ann seemed to exude, but she couldn't stop replaying what could have been through her head.

Felicity missed her chance to tell Pippa everything. She thought back on all those silent nights when no words were exchanged. She remembered every trip to the realms. Why didn't she tell her that first day when the huntress told her to? Thinking of the huntress only made matters worse. Felicity still felt cold. She couldn't tell if it was because her one true love just died, or because she was somehow changed by the dark spirit in the realms. All she did know was that she wanted to run away forever—to forget the past month.

Felicity was forbidden to return to her room until the coroner arrived to remove Pippa's body. Letters were sent out on horseback as soon as Mrs. Nightwing received the news. By ten, a reply had arrived from Mr. and Mrs. Cross promising that they would come by in the afternoon to discuss funeral arrangements and to remove Pippa's stuff from the room.

By eleven the coroner had loaded Pippa into a temporary coffin until her parents chose the one she would forever rest in. Felicity watched as the coffin floated by. Somehow she couldn't believe that Pippa was really gone. She wouldn't allow herself to believe it.

"Miss Worthington," Mrs. Nightwing said softly as Felicity headed back up to her room. "Brigid will come by shortly to remove the sheets on Pippa's bed. Her parents will come by later to remove anything they want to keep. Whatever is left behind is yours to keep. If you don't want it I will throw the rest away."

Felicity didn't respond. She didn't trust her voice to work. Instead she escaped into her room. Felicity had been in the room alone too many times to count. And yet, this time she felt completely alone and lost. The longing to feel Pippa again was too much to bear. Felicity found herself curled in a ball in Pippa's sheets. They still smelled of Pippa's hair and skin. It was a smell so distinct that only the most beautiful girl in the world could possess such a scent.

The tears wouldn't come. Felicity wanted to cry because she knew if she did it would all be real. But she couldn't. It all felt like one horrendous nightmare. Felicity hoped she would wake up to find it all her imagination at work. She promised herself that if she did wake up—if she did find another chance with Pippa—she would tell her everything immediately. Felicity would not hesitate again.

Brigid came in for the sheets after some time, but Felicity pleaded with her to keep them. Brigid only agreed when Felicity refused to move from the bed. Having nothing else to do in the room, she left empty-handed. Felicity continued to lie on that bed as time passed. In the hall she could hear young girls pointing and whispering at the door, no doubt about the girl who died in that very room.

At one point Cecily and Elizabeth showed up to talk with Felicity, but they were shouted at until they left. Gemma and Ann didn't even try to venture over. Each girl had to deal with their grief separately.

Pippa's parents finally arrived just after three. When they saw Felicity on Pippa's bed, Mrs. Cross began to sob. Mr. Cross went straight to work. No one talked as the Cross's removed item after item from Pippa's wardrobe and vanity shelves. Felicity was surprised at how little Pippa's parents wanted to keep. They only took the dress Pippa was to be married in with a few other small mementos. The glove that's pair was with the knight was taken by the Cross's. Among that, they removed all her old jewelry—anything that could be sold.

None of her books, notes on parchment, or hidden boxes of chocolates were stacked to go home. When Mrs. Cross moved to take Pippa's hairbrush, Felicity felt pain rip through her numb interior. She wanted the brush. "Do you mind if I keep that?" Felicity asked. Her voice cracked. She was thirsty.

"You want her brush?" Mr. Cross said skeptically.

"Oh Dear, I never thought how hard this must be for you too," Mrs. Cross sighed. "Do you parents know yet?"

"I'll write them tomorrow. But I would really like to have that brush."

"Obviously they're invited to the funeral. We haven't gotten all the information together yet, but you just tell them they are welcome to come as well."

"Thank you," Felicity responded through her teeth. She knew her parents wouldn't come. She doubted they would even make an appearance at her own funeral.

"I guess you can have the brush," Mr. Cross interjected. Mrs. Cross watched as the last remains of her daughter were passed to the girl's best friend. Felicity tucked the brush into her chest. The Cross's were almost done by that point.

Eventually the room was cleared out of all the things Pippa's parents preferred to keep. Felicity then took to the stuff. She pulled out her favorite of all Pippa's dresses and put it in her own wardrobe. After that, Felicity began to read all the little notes on parchment that the Cross's had ignored.

Most of the notes were little petty writings and musings they had exchanged during class. Felicity remembered each time the notes were exchanged as if it was yesterday. Some of the notes brought smiles to her face. Others only resulted in the sickening feeling in Felicity's gut. She missed her chance and she couldn't forget it.

At the bottom of the stack, Felicity found an unopened letter addressed to her. She wondered when Pippa had written it and if it was right to read it. Why hadn't Pippa given it to her? The curiosity overrode the guilt.

_Dear Felicity,_

_If you are reading this letter, it means that I chose to stay in the realms and forever remain in my blissfully happy dream-like state. You have every right to be cross with me. I abandoned you to the same cruel world that we used to dream about exploring together. I will understand if you refuse to talk to me one day when you too cross the river to whatever lies beyond the realms. My only request is that you move on with your life. I give you permission to share a relationship like ours was with Gemma. She is a great person and she will treat you infinitely better than I ever could. You're going to do great things in the world one day. Don't ever stop believing in yourself. _

_Making this choice had nothing to do with you. I couldn't accept a life as Mrs. Bartleby Bumble anymore than you could accept a fate as Mrs. Simon Middleton. I've been unhappy for quite some time now. But you need to know that you were never one of the many grievances in my life. You have always made me happier than I could ever tell. Sometimes I like to think about how different my life would have been if you would have been born a man instead a woman. I surely would have fallen in love with you. It's probably wrong that I think such thoughts, but it is true. You have always been a far better companion than anyone I have ever met. I'm going to miss you terribly. But I hold on to the hope that one day we will meet again. Until then—farewell. _

_Forever Your Best Friend,_

_Pippa Cross_

Felicity re-read the letter numerous times before she was able to understand what had been written. She wanted to feel peace knowing that Pippa knew her choice ahead of time. But that was impossible when Felicity could have changed everything just by saying three words. There was too much to think about. And Felicity was too numb to understand anything. She crawled back into Pippa's bed and waited for sleep to come.


	64. Chapter 64

**Sorry it's short. I just always have a very difficult time writing on the weekends. **

Sleep didn't come. Felicity lied in that bed for hours. Her body was fatigued, but her mind wouldn't shut down. Between the letter, numerous memories, and that one missed opportunity, Felicity had so much to dwell on. The numbness that had overcome her after Pippa's heart stopped was now receding. In its place was a sharp realization that life was not fair. All those feelings were brewing up a cold hatred stew inside Felicity's soul.

The sun rose the next morning, bringing with it an insistence by Mrs. Nightwing that Felicity eat. She wasn't hungry, but she had a roll just to satisfy her headmistress enough to be left alone. She couldn't bear to talk to anyone—to see anyone who might remind her that her friend would never come back.

Gemma found Felicity in this same state some time later that morning. Like Felicity, she looked sleep-deprived. The difference was that Gemma could look into Felicity's eyes without flinching. She had the strength to try and move on. Felicity was an empty core waiting for the next blow to crack her carefully constructed surface.

"Have you eaten?" Gemma asked as she sat down on Felicity's perfectly made bed.

"I had roll."

"I'm sure Brigid would bring you more if you are still hungry."

"I'm not."

"Felicity," Gemma sighed as she leaned closer. "I know this probably doesn't help much, but she was happy."

"So you've said," Felicity replied remembering the few moments right after Gemma returned from the realms.

"Do you believe me?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I could have slapped the berries away. Or threw her to the ground. Anything." Gemma had begun to cry. Felicity couldn't listen to those tears anymore than she could listen to laughter at the moment.

"It wasn't your fault," she promised, but the words came out bitter and dry. "What I mean is, I don't blame you. Pippa made her choice. Now we have to learn to live with it."

"Come to dinner with Ann and me tonight. You need to eat. You need to socialize."

"I'm fine, Gemma."

"No," Gemma replied sternly. "You're not. And it's totally rational that you aren't. After the day when Mother died, I went through much of the same feelings you must be experiencing. But you have to make yourself move forward. Life goes on with or without you. You have to make the choice to not let it slip by."

"It's been twenty-four hours," Felicity whined. "Is that not enough time to mourn the loss of a dear friend? Shall I pretend it never happened? Put on my best smile and behave like everything is fine? I can't do that. I'm most definitely not fine!"

"I'm not saying you have to pretend to be something you're not, Fee. You just have to start one simple motion at a time. Have dinner tonight. Then you can go back to this mourning state. And tomorrow do something else. Take it slow. But do something."

"Will you leave me be?" Felicity snapped. She softened her tone before adding, "Please."

"Of course," Gemma answered. The red-head left the room silently. Felicity rolled over and went back to staring at the wall. But when it came time for dinner, Felicity got out of bed. One step at a time, Felicity promised to move forward just like Pippa asked her to do.


	65. Chapter 65

**Another short chapter to get through before things start getting really good (and maybe long) again. **

Felicity ate her dinner obediently that night and each night after. The food lacked the essential essence that makes it taste good though. Somehow Felicity's despair had tainted the world enough to remove goodness from every aspect of it. The exhaustion finally forced Felicity to sleep. But her sleep was not without nightmares.

The first night Felicity slept she dreamed of the realms as they were the last time she was there. The sky coiled and uncoiled in an angry red storm of hatred. The dark spirit was still there, but this time had Pippa in its cape of souls. Pip's head floated around with the screams of others; her eyes were black holes. The spirit moved closer and Felicity felt her body go cold again. Each step closer it got, the more icy Felicity's body felt. Finally, it reached out and touched her arm. Felicity woke up in a cold sweat. Her body—now freezing cold itself—took hours to warm up enough to sleep again.

Once back asleep, if that is what the half-sleep dreaming state is called, Felicity would feel Pippa standing over her bed. She'd open her eyes and no one would be there. It would happen over and over until morning came. Every night was like this. Though some nights the dream at the beginning changed.

The lack of sleep put Felicity in a foul mood most days. While everyone worked deliberately to prepare for the funeral, Felicity sulked in a corner. The sheets on Pippa's bed were beginning to smell only like the girl who now slept there. Felicity felt she was loosing her friend completely. She began waiting at night for that feeling to come—the one where Pippa was watching her. And when it came, Felicity would savor the sensation. The dream was better than the loneliness of reality.

The day before the funeral a letter arrived for Felicity. She was expecting it to be from her mother or father about the whiskey or Pippa, or maybe even both. What she didn't expect was for Simon Middleton to write to her. She tore open the letter and read it eagerly.

_Dear Felicity,_

_Today while I was reading the paper I came across a news clipping about Spence Academy. I'm sure you can figure out what event this news referred to. I know it has been years since we last spoke, but I feel the need to write now. You have always been of great importance to me. Your friend Pippa was always of greater importance to you, even I know that. Therefore, I wish you offer you my condolences. I know this time must be difficult for you. I want you to know that I am still here if you need a friend. I'm willing to tease and taunt you just like always. But I also will listen of you need to talk about how you feel. Write back if you feel the need. If not, perhaps I will see you at Christmas. I wish you the best of luck and many happy days. _

_Sincerely, _

_Simon_

Felicity wanted to believe all Simon had said, but she knew him too well. If she were to let him back into her life, he would surely manage to propose marriage again. In the past years he had become a ladies man. She knew his reputation. She also knew that her rejection had triggered it. The last thing she needed was to be a catalyst for more upsetting behavior on his part.

Felicity tucked the letter in a small box behind the letter from Pippa before leaving her room for vespers. She would look at it again later, but for now she needed to concentrate on getting through the rest of her day without falling into pieces. Every day was a challenge that she met head-on.


	66. Chapter 66

**Another chapter for all my darling fans :)**

It was only fitting that on the day of Pippa's funeral, the skies would open up and weep over her loss as well. The carriage ride to the Cross home was muddy and eerily quiet since the girls had no way to express their pain. Felicity felt that she had barely spoken with Gemma or Ann in the week since that night. Gemma tried to bridge the gap, but Felicity continually pushed her away. As for Ann, she seemed to be grieving in her own distant way.

When the Spence group reached the Cross home, Felicity immediately sprung into the deliberate action that follows a death. She led her friends through the garden to wear the services were going to be held. Mr. and Mrs. Cross were already posed over a black coffin. Mrs. Cross met Felicity's eyes briefly before turning away to hide a tear.

Felicity led her group of friends to a spot near the coffin as well—close enough to hear every word from the vicar. Mrs. Nightwing took control and lined the girls up solemnly to take up as little room as possible. Felicity listened to Cecily and Elizabeth whisper little stories about Pippa's virtues. She wanted to put a fist in each of their mouths for their ignorance.

A few more stragglers appeared before the vicar began. He began his service with a prayer that Felicity ignored completely. Her eyes were on the coffin; she wanted to look through the wood and see her lovely friend. Would Pippa still be as beautiful? She had no doubt that it was true.

Once the vicar began giving an account of the girl Pippa was, Felicity felt the overwhelming grief wash over every fiber of her being. She became angry that this man did not know anything about Pippa. As he spoke of her beauty and unfailing goodness, Felicity remembered all the times she had taunted Ann and the way she could eat a whole box of chocolates and beg for more after. Felicity knew Pippa better than anyone else, and she couldn't even give a full account of the girl she loved.

Even so, Felicity longed to tell everyone about the way Pippa sometimes sighed in her sleep. Or the way she crinkled her nose when she wanted more attention. Felicity could tell everyone about Pippa's absurd fascination with love. Or she could mention her deluded perception of reality. Felicity could tell all this and still not even scratch the surface of who Pippa really was.

Felicity became a prisoner to her memories in that moment. Every hot breath of her cheek, gentle hug, angry arguments, tearful apology, and bittersweet lost moment burst into her quite reserve. The tears began to fall in their silent routes down to the fresh earth.

When it was Felicity's turn to drop her dirt—mud, by that time in the day—over the coffin, she let it pass through her fingers like silky fingers wrapped in her own. It was over, the funeral and her friendship with Pippa. After a full week of mood swings and overwhelming depression, Felicity was beginning to accept her new reality.

Everyone began to dispense to their own activities. Felicity's eyes did not leave the grave as the two soaking men buried it more with each shovel of mud. When they finished, they trailed off. Felicity stayed. Gemma returned after disappearing to talk to the Gypsy boy. When she came back, Felicity had the urge to break her silence. "She's really gone, isn't she?"

"Yes."

"What happened to me on the other side, with that thing?"

"I don't know."

Felicity looked across the grave at the other mourners. Many were in conversation with each other. A few only looked at the pile of dirt with dead eyes. Felicity thought about her dreams. She still hadn't gotten e good night's sleep. And she feared that she never would. "Sometimes I see things, I think. Out of the corner of my eye, taunting me, and then it's gone. And dreams. Such horrible dreams. What if something terrible happened to me, Gemma? What if I'm damaged?"

Gemma linked her arm through Felicity's before answering. "We're all damaged somehow." It wasn't exactly the answer Felicity wanted, but it was enough. She was beginning to see that life doesn't always go as planned. Felicity could now see that she lost one friend and gained another. Somehow she felt that as long as Pippa and Gemma both existed, she would be torn between the two. Maybe she had to lose one to grow closer to the other. Or maybe it was just the sleepless nights getting to Felicity. But either way, Felicity had Gemma in that moment and that was enough.


	67. Chapter 67

**I'm hoping things are starting to get happier again. I can't believe I'm done with AGATB. I better bring out RA and start looking through it to figure out what I'm going to do in some of those chapters. I've got big plans that I hope everyone will love.**

The day after Pippa's funeral was the official beginning of Felicity's new life without her best friend. She woke up and put on a fake smile that would have to get her through the day. She figured that if she pretended to be happy long enough, it would eventually become true.

After spending a full week away from class, Felicity was not particularly fond of the idea of school again. Art was cancelled until Nightwing could manage to find a new teacher. Therefore, Felicity only had to bear French, Music, and whatever Nightwing was planning to impart on her that day.

French, as usual, was far too easy for Felicity. Mademoiselle LeFarge attempted to avoid any subjects that would cause the girls in first class to think of their lost friend, but just about everything did remind Felicity. The empty seat next to her was a sharp jab in her gut. She wondered if she should allow Gemma to take the spot, but decided against it. Felicity did not see it as fair to her no longer around best friend to replace her in every way. Gemma would remain at a distance.

During the free period that used to be filled with Art, Felicity, Gemma, and Ann were summoned to Mrs. Nightwing's office. It was only a matter of time, Felicity figured, before Mrs. Nightwing would demand answers about that night. Just as expected, Mrs. Nightwing sat behind her large desk with a cup of tea. Her expression tried to look calm and reserved, but flashes of anger kept darting through her eyes. When she made eye contact with Felicity, the anger spread to her whole face.

"Ladies," Mrs. Nightwing said coolly. "Take a seat." Felicity sat in the chair furthest from Nightwing's gaze. Gemma and Ann filled in the remaining seats. They glanced at Felicity with worried eyes. Felicity, for her part, only stared forward, just past the pile of hair on the headmistress's head.

"I have given you sufficient time to grieve the loss of a dear friend. I also understand that you may still be mourning. But that being said, the time to sulk is over." Nightwing's beady eyes found Felicity's again. "I know you probably don't wish to speak of that night for obvious reasons, but I need to know what happened."

"Pippa had a seizure," Ann whispered.

"I know Pippa had a seizure," Mrs. Nightwing replied. "What I'm trying to understand is why Pippa and you three were fully clothed. Where were you that night? How did you get Pippa back up here? And why was there alcohol on Pippa's breath?"

Gemma fidgeted uneasily in her chair. Felicity could see that she was the one who would have to answer the question. "Mrs. Nightwing, I will take full responsibility for what happened that night. I stole another bottle of whiskey from the chapel. I had some to drink—as did Pippa. Both Ann and Gemma refused. We were at the caves when Pippa had a seizure and-"

"How did you get out?" Mrs. Nightwing interrupted. "I locked all the doors myself."

"I came into possession of a skeleton key."

"I have the only skeleton key."

"There's another."

Mrs. Nightwing looked astonished. "I was told Mrs. Spence took that key with her to the grave. Very well, then. For obvious reasons I will need that key back."

"Yes ma'am."

"Continue with your story."

"When Pippa began having a fit the three of us worked together to carry her back to Spence. You already know the rest."

"Is this true? Ann? Gemma?" Felicity could tell that Nightwing wanted to believe that Ann had nothing to drink that night because suspension would literally ruin her life.

"It's true," Gemma answered without hesitation.

"Ann, did you drink that night?"

"No," Ann lied without a single stammer.

"Very well," Mrs. Nightwing replied. "I am having the caves closed up for good. No good can come from a place that distracts young ladies from their duties." Mrs. Nightwing shifted in her seat until she was even taller. "I presume the three of you have learned your lesson. What happened to Pippa was one of the many reasons I cannot tolerate such behaviors by young ladies. I think her death was enough punishment for now. Gemma, Ann, you're dismissed."

Gemma and Ann stood looking to their friend. Felicity suddenly felt the urge to hug them each. She knew her suspension was coming. What would she do though if Nightwing expelled her? Her two friends left the room silently. Nightwing cleared her throat. "I feel as if we just had this conversation, don't you?"

Felicity didn't answer. "What got into you, Felicity? I've known you for years and you have never blatantly defied the rules like this? And don't tell me it is because of your less that normal feelings."

"You don't want to know the truth," Felicity whispered as an answer.

"Yes, I do," Mrs. Nightwing replied, softening. Felicity didn't continue. Her gaze fell on a letter addressed to her father on the desk. "I care more than you seem to understand."

"Is that the letter to my father?"

"Yes. I haven't had time to send it yet. And now I think I will hold off because it seems I will need to write a new one."

"Are you going to suspend me?"

"Only if you refuse to explain what you were thinking—why you did what you did."

Felicity let her mind wander to that night. She had been avoiding the memories, but now they roamed free in her head. She thought of Pippa's soft beauty in the pale white light of the moon. She thought of the deer that they killed. And Felicity remembered that spirit in the realms. It still haunted her dreams. "I was in love," she began. "And love makes a person crazy and reckless."

"I still don't understand."

"I decided the alcohol would loosen me up enough to finally tell Pippa how I felt. I couldn't let her marry that disgusting pig without her knowing how I felt about her. When I brought out the whiskey she wanted to drink some too because she was depressed about her fate. We began our usual nighttime games and talk when Pippa had a fit."

"Did you tell her?" Mrs. Nightwing asked, only sounding somewhat apathetic.

"No. I didn't have time."

"I'm sorry, Felicity."

"Are you?" Felicity snapped angrily. "Because to me it seems that you would be relieved that a perverse person like myself lost her one chance to be happy."

"I would never take joy in your pain, Felicity. I don't know why you think me to be so cruel, but I do understand love. I'm sorry you did not have the chance to tell her, but to be honest what good would it have done?"

"I was going to run away with her. I had a plan."

"Very well then," Mrs. Nightwing responded quietly. "I will probably never understand what it's like to be you. But I want you to know that I will try."

"What's my punishment?" Felicity wanted to get out. Her honesty was surprising to both of them.

"I think you have lost enough in the past week. You're free to go. And I won't send this." Mrs. Nightwing held up the letter. "Just do me a favor, alright?"

"What?"

"Have more faith in me. I wasn't born yesterday, you know?"

"I know," Felicity mumbled. "Can I go?"

"Of course." Felicity stood and walked to the door. Before leaving, she glanced back once at her headmistress. A small smile formed on her lips before she hurried away from the knowing gaze. All this time she had thought Nightwing to be a nuisance, but now it was obvious that she cared more than Felicity's own mother ever would.


	68. Chapter 68

**Next chapter should be the official beginning of RA. Therefore, I want to thank everyone for sticking with me this long. It means a lot.**

Felicity was surprised at how easily normality returned to Spence Academy. The talk of Pippa ceased once the excitement wore off for the younger girls. As for the older ones, they only spoke of their friend when they absolutely needed to. October was dry and cold. It matched the way Felicity felt inside her skin where the dark cold of the spirit still sometimes seized. The dreams were becoming less frequent, but more terrifying when they did appear.

Just as Mrs. Nightwing said, the caves were closed for good a few days after the talk. Some of the Gypsies came by to do the work for a small price. The Gypsy that Gemma knew was among them. Felicity could no longer wait for Gemma to tell her what her relation to him was; she had to ask. One night in their tent of scarves, Felicity brought up the subject. Gemma explained everything—how he had been with his older brother Amar the day her mother died, how he followed her here, and she discussed what she knew of the Rakshana.

Felicity, though not altogether sure if Kartik was trustworthy, was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt because two different times he had protected them. He helped Gemma get away from a Gypsy at the camp and he carried Pippa during the fit. Felicity owed him some semblance of peace after her own reaction to him.

In mid-October, Felicity decided it was time to write Simon back. She had put it off for longer than necessary because she could not find the words to say to him. But when she sat down to write the words did come.

She thanked him first for his condolences. She admitted that the letter did come as a surprise, but she did appreciate it all the same. After finishing the emotional parts, she discussed the things she had heard about him in the recent years—a midnight rendezvous with a maid in his house, a whore at an Opium den, and even an older woman on a family trip to Paris. She did not belittle him for these rumors; rather, she encouraged them in a jesting manner. Felicity wanted the letter to resemble the taunting and teasing conversations they used to have.

In the end, the letter came off slightly harsher than Felicity wanted. Even so, she addressed it and had it sent the next day. When she did so, she wondered what her future with Simon would hold. She was curious to see if they would ever meet again and what would happen if it did happen.

In remembrance of Pippa, the three girls built her a small alter inside a tree. At first they filled it with some funeral flowers and such. But as time wore on, Felicity placed one of her gloves from childhood inside. It was a glove Pippa had always wanted. They hid there alter from view with a large rock. At that place the girls felt at ease to discuss Pippa and the Order. It was there that they came to agree that they would return to the realms only when the Order had been reestablished.

Life went on for Felicity as it does with any person. She still sometimes cried over her friend. Pippa would come to her at random; sometimes it would be a breeze through the window that stirred a page in a book and reminded Felicity of the time Pippa's papers scattered the room. Other times it happened when Felicity was dressing and the maid who helped her tie her corset pulled the strings exactly the same tension as Pippa used to. But even with all these past memories, Felicity knew she was undeniably alone. At night she struggled to sleep. During dinner she forced her food down. Felicity was living only half alive. She was truly the living ghost she once called herself. And she didn't know if she would ever recover.


	69. Chapter 69

**Sorry for the long wait. I hate keeping you guys waiting, but sometimes I get busy. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

The oranges and reds of October faded into the emptiness of November and then December. It was cold and dry—truly a winter that matched Felicity's soul. The repetitive nature of school forced Felicity into a dreary schedule that only dulled her emotions more. By early December, Felicity was itching to move forward. She wanted to return to the realms because only there could she find solace in what her life had become.

Gemma said one day much like the others that she could no longer enter the realms, but Felicity didn't believe it. She was now able to read Gemma like an open book. The red head was no longer the same mysterious girl she was when she first came to school. Felicity had spent enough time with her, and had seen Gemma react to pressure enough times, to perceive what her friend wanted. And at the time being, Gemma was not ready to return.

The Christmas holiday was coming and Felicity was looking forward to leaving Spence. Word had finally come from both her parents the last day of November. Christmas would be celebrated at the Worthington country home. Both Felicity's parents would be around for the full-extent of the holiday. Felicity had not had a Christmas with her family in many years. She wanted it to be perfect.

Christmas was what she was thinking about on the morning that started the next phase of her life. It was the kind of early morning that seemed too familiar to Felicity. She woke up and got dressed in silence. The suffocating absence of her room had become a new kind of solitude. She was now accustomed to her own footsteps and heavy sighs. Whenever someone else intruded on the space, Felicity thought they were too loud and too intrusive. Even when Molly came to tie her corset, Felicity was upset at the intrusion.

Molly was late that morning. Felicity waited patiently—folding and unfolding her sheets to pass the time. Since Pippa's death Felicity had become anxious; she always had to have her hands occupied in some way. Time was of the essence and Felicity couldn't bear to waste any of it.

Molly tried to make small talk as she bound Felicity up, but failed miserably. It was not a cheery morning. Felicity was not an amiable girl. Molly left without a goodbye. Felicity picked up her French book and cloak. Before leaving her room, she scanned it one last time. The emptiness calmed her nerves before she bounded down the stairs to meet her day.

Felicity took her seat next to Gemma. Ann was on the other side of her. Across the table sat Elizabeth, Cicely, and Martha. The three of them had become even crueler since Pippa died. Cicely had tried to console Felicity once and turned forever sour when Felicity would have none of it. Since then, the trio had taken teasing Ann and infuriating Gemma as a new sport. Felicity wanted to put them in their place, but something always stopped her. She couldn't quite place why the words always stuck in her throat. She only knew that Gemma was becoming more infuriated with her for refusing to help.

"Have you noticed?" Martha asked as soon as everyone was seated after grace.

"Noticed what?" Felicity replied as she took a bite of her bacon. She still could not taste any flavor in food. She ate out of necessity.

"We've a new teacher. Do you see? She's sitting beside Mademoiselle LeFarge." Felicity turned around to inspect. Sitting in between Mrs. Nightwing and Mademoiselle LeFarge was a woman with raven black hair and a severe face. Her brows were dark, framing eyes just as black. Felicity thought woman looked like yet another dull teacher to endure. She raised her fork with a bite of potato, but had to set it back down when she heard Mrs. Nightwing's chair scrape back.

"Good morning, girls."

"Good morning, Mrs. Nightwing," a chorus of voices responded in unison.

"I wish to present Miss McCleethy, our new instructor in the arts. In addition to drawing and painting, Miss McCleethy is knowledgeable in Latin and Greek, badminton, and archery." Felicity felt her ears perk up at the word archery. A smile found her lips and her eyes met her friends. "Miss McCleethy comes to us from the very esteemed Saint Victoria's School for Girls in Wales. I am fortunate indeed, for I've known her as a dear friend for many a year."

Mrs. Nightwing paused, astounding everyone in the room when she flashed a warm smile to the new teacher. Felicity wondered why she had gone so many years thinking of Mrs. Nightwing as a nuisance. Recently the woman had shown Felicity a kindness that she neither expected nor deserved.

Continuing on, Mrs. Nightwing said, "I've no doubt she will prove an invaluable asset to use here at Spence, and I ask you to welcome her warmly. Miss Bradshaw, perhaps you'd be willing to sing a song for Miss McCleethy? A carol would be nice, I should think."

Ann stood obediently and made her familiar walk of shame. Every little snicker from the room turned the food in Felicity's stomach sour. She wanted more than anything to hurt them all for their behavior—to hurt herself for the girl she once was too. When Ann began her song, the room went quiet. No one ever knew how to respond to such lovely sounds from the one girl they tormented for sport. Polite applause filled the room when Ann's song had ended. She walked with her head down back to her table.

"That was splendid," Gemma whispered once Ann was back in her seat.

"No. It was terrible." Felicity couldn't see Ann's face, but she knew that a blush had most likely found the ruddy cheeks.

Miss McCleethy stood to address Ann. Her accent was familiar to Felicity, but not quite strong enough to place. "Thank you, Miss Bradshaw. That was a nice start to our day. I look forward to meeting each of you and hope to be of service. You may find that I am an exacting teacher. I expect your very best at all times. But I think you will also find that I am fair. If you put forth effort, you shall be rewarded. If not, you shall suffer the consequences."

Felicity rolled her eyes and looked to Mrs. Nightwing for approval to resume eating. The woman was beaming with joy Felicity had never seen come from her. "Thank you, Miss McCleethy." Both women sat, and the room sighed with relief. Every hungry stomach secretly shouted with glee that it was over.

"She sounds a jolly sort," Felicity teased. The girls in her class giggled behind closed mouths at her unladylike behavior. Even with everything that had happened in the past few months, Felicity could still get away with so much more than anyone else.

"What a strange accent she has," Cicely said after she had swallowed a piece of bacon. "Foreign."

"Doesn't sound Welsh to me," Martha added. "More Scottish, I should think."

"She could be Irish, I suppose," Elizabeth mused. "I do hope she isn't a Papist." Felicity wondered what Elizabeth would say if she knew that Felicity was neither Protestant nor Catholic—that she cared not for organized religion. Elizabeth, no doubt, would fall over dead at the sheer boldness of it.

"I certainly hope she is an improvement on Miss Moore," Cicely said to mock Gemma. Felicity cast her eyes downward and remembered how kind Miss Moore was to her even after she had betrayed the woman. "All those stories about magical women…what was it?"

"The Order," Ann answered because she could never bear to see a question go unanswered.

"Oh, yes. The Order." Giving the next bit a dramatic flair, Cicely added, "Women who could create illusions and change the world." Elizabeth and Martha's laughter drew the attention of the teachers, but Felicity did not notice. She was wondering how Cicely would react if she knew it was all true and that Felicity had done it. "Utter nonsense if you ask me."

Felicity opened her mouth to say, "_No one asked you" _but Gemma beat her to the response. "They were only myths. She told us that."

"Exactly. What purpose did she have in telling us stories about sorceresses? She was supposed to teach us how to draw lovely pictures, not take us into a damp cave to see primitive scratchings by some old witches. It's a wonder we didn't all take a chill and die."

"You needn't be so melodramatic," Felicity responded dryly.

"It's true! In the end, she got what she deserved. Mrs. Nightwing was right to dismiss her. And you were absolutely right to put the blame where it belonged, Fee—on Miss Moore. If it hadn't been for her, perhaps dear Pippa…"Cicely didn't finish when she saw Felicity's face. It was the first time anyone other than Gemma, Ann, and Felicity had said the name out loud since that day. Pippa was still a sore spot with the group. And Felicity was not going to have Cicely soiling her good name just for the sake of argument.

"Perhaps what?" Gemma asked, her tone full of ice.

"I shouldn't say," Cicely answered with every intention to answer.

"It was epilepsy that killed Pippa. She had a fit…" Felicity said as her hands fiddled with her napkin. She was holding back the urge to knock Cicely completely out of her chair.

Cicely lowered her voice. "But Pippa was the first to tell Mrs. Nightwing about the wretched diary you were all reading. She was the one who confessed that you'd been out to the caves at night, and that you had gotten the idea from Miss Moore herself. I think that a strange coincidence, don't you?"

Felicity did not even know how Cicely had gotten so much information about what had been happening between them and Miss Moore. News travels fast in small numbers. And Felicity wanted nothing to do with any of these gossiping girls ever again. Miss Moore had nothing to do with Pippa's death. Felicity knew that Pippa had chosen her fate because it was death of marriage. And it was a choice that Felicity blamed herself for.

"What are you accusing her of?" Gemma blurted out.

"I think you know what I am saying."

Felicity watched as Gemma's cheeks turned crimson. "Miss Moore was guilty of nothing but sharing a bit of folklore. I suggest we refrain from speaking of her altogether."

"Well, I like that," Cecily said, laughing at her ability to toy with Gemma's emotions. "Of course, you would defend her, Gemma. It was that strange amulet of yours that began the conversation in the first place, as I recall. What is it called again?"

"The crescent eye," Ann answered in her stupid way.

Elizabeth nodded, joining the fray. "I don't think you ever told us exactly how your mother came to be in possession of it."

"She did say," Felicity stated because it was now two against one. The odds were against Gemma if she chose to do nothing. "A village woman gave to her mother for protection. It was an Indian custom."

"Yes, that's correct," Gemma whispered.

"They were most likely in league," Cecily said to her followers in a whisper that was meant to be overheard. "I wouldn't be at all surprised if she were a…"Cecily pauses for dramatic effect. Felicity waits to see if Gemma will take the bait.

"A what?" Felicity silently cursed because Gemma should have just let it be.

"Miss Doyle, do you not know that it's rude to eavesdrop on other's conversations?"

"A what?" Gemma pressed.

A cruel smirk spread across Cecily's pinched little face. "A witch."

Felicity felt her hands clench around the table just as Gemma send a bowl of preserves flying onto Cecily's plate. Some of the raspberry splattered onto Cecily's dress. It was not quite the beating Felicity wanted to give Cecily, but it effectively infuriated her. She stood in outrage. "You did that on purpose, Gemma Doyle!"

"Oh, how clumsy of me. Or perhaps it was witchcraft," Gemma mocked.

Mrs. Nightwing's bell broke the argument up. "What is happening there? Miss Temple! Miss Doyle! Why are you creating such a scene?"

"Miss Doyle deliberately knocked the preserves onto my dress!"

Gemma stood up to her defense. "It was an accident, Mrs. Nightwing. I don't know how I could have been so clumsy. Dear Cecily, here, let me help you." Gemma swiped at her dress and Cecily swiped her hand away.

"She's lying, Mrs. Nightwing! She did it on purpose, didn't she, Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth obeyed her master and stood to defend her to the end. "She did, Mrs. Nightwing. I saw it."

Felicity saw her chance. Throwing her chair back, she stood dramatically too. "That is a lie, Elizabeth Poole. You know very well that it was an accident. Our Gemma would never do such an unkind thing." Felicity wanted to laugh at the irony of her own words.

Martha stood next. "She's always had it in for our Cecily. She is a most uncivilized girl, Mrs. Nightwing."

"I resent that!" Gemma shouts. Her eyes look to Ann. Felicity silently willed the mousy girl to defend Gemma, but knew it was to no avail. Ann was always willing to stay out of any situation that was uncomfortable for her.

"That is enough!" Mrs. Nightwing bellowed—her voice harsh and cold. "This is a fine welcome for our Miss McCleethy. She will probably pack her things and head for the hills rather than stay among the savages. I cannot possibly loose you among an unsuspecting London like the hounds of Hades. Therefore, we shall spend the day perfecting our manners and reflecting in prayer until what emerges is the sort of young lady Spence would be proud to call her own. Now, let us finish our breakfast in peace without any further unseemly outbursts."

The girls sat back down and resumed their meals.

"If I weren't a Christian, I should tell her exactly what I think of her," Cecily said to the table as if Gemma was not sitting right there.

"Are you a Christian, miss Temple? I couldn't be sure?" Gemma fired back.

"How would you know about Christian charity, Miss Doyle, raised among the heathens in India?" Before anyone could respond, Cecily turned her attention to Ann. "Dear Ann, you should take care not to be associated with such a girl. She might do great harm to your reputation, and, truly, that is all you have to recommend you as a governess."

Felicity watched as Ann allowed Cecily to mock her. She would have stepped in and defended both friends if Ann had only tried. But Ann only sat there. Gemma shook her head before returning to her food. Felicity, finally, picked up her fork again. The rest of breakfast would be silent. And Felicity was not pleased at what the rest of the day would hold either.


	70. Chapter 70

**So I realized while writing today that RA is going to be a difficult book to get through in Felicity's POV because so much of it takes place with Gemma away from her. It makes these coming chapters both a challenge and exciting for me. I will have to put my imagination to work about how Felicity spends her free time at home. Anyway, thanks for reading. **

After a few dreadful hours of Mrs. Nightwing's etiquette lessons, Felicity was in serious need of some excitement. The first snow of the winter season had fallen while the girls were trapped inside their own miseries. When Mrs. Nightwing released them for their free period, each of the girls ran up to their rooms in search of warmer clothes.

Felicity ran straight for the box her mother had sent along with a letter promising that both parents would be present for Christmas this year. She had been waiting for the right time to show off her new fox-fur muff. Pulling it from the box and grabbing her cloak on the way out, Felicity hurried from her room. At the bottom of the stairs she found Gemma already waiting.

"Where's Ann?"

"She's adding an extra pair of stockings. She said she will find us outside." Felicity reached for Gemma's arm and tugged her out the doors. The cold, moist are filled Felicity with happy memories. Winter was her favorite season. As a child it was always the only time she could spend with both Mother and Father. And since growing up, it had become a time of great renewal. When the snows of winter melted away, Felicity felt she too could melt the past and be whomever she wanted.

But it was still just the beginning of winter. And as Felicity walked along the fresh snow, she thought of the winter solstice that had taken place within her body since Pippa died. She was eternally a part of the cold—forever chilled, never melting. This thought might have saddened her some other day, but in that moment Felicity savored the realization because winter was better than death; it was better than the empty space she used to feel.

Felicity was intrigued when she realized the Gemma had never seen snow before. It triggered a memory Felicity didn't know she had. In it she was just a small child, maybe two or three. She was outside her house with both her parents. Her father was dressed in his uniform. Her mother looked normal and was not trying to impress anyone. Felicity could remember her delight when she held the snow. She could still feel the icy crystals when her father hit her with a small snowball. It was as if all that happened yesterday, but Felicity knew it was a lifetime ago. Even so, she longed to go back to the days when her father was present in her life. She missed the way her mother used to smile at her father. And she missed that moment when the three of them lied in the snow—Felicity tucked against each of her parents as they kissed over her head.

Back in the present, Felicity decided to make new happy memories with her friends that cared more than her parents did. She picked up a snowball, showed it Gemma, and then demonstrated its purpose. Felicity longed for a war to begin, but Ann appeared carrying her usual self-pity with. Felicity couldn't deal with the melancholy girl and left to associate with Elizabeth and Cecily because at least they weren't wallowing in their own self-hatred.

After spending an afternoon discussing the weather, gossip from London, and her muff, Felicity was thoroughly purged of all joy she had earlier. The dullness of her life depressed her. The itching to return to the realms returned again.

She returned to the at least more exciting side of her friends for dinner and vespers. But just as they were going to escape to their hideaway tent to discuss more inappropriate topics, Mrs. Nightwing announced that a pantomime crew had come to put on the Grimm tale of Hansel and Gretel.

The girls all filed into their seats to watch the group put on possibly the worst play Felicity had ever seen. She constantly had to stifle laughter at the absurdity of the actors, sets, and dialogue. Her teasing and taunting was cut short when Gemma fell to the floor next to her.

Felicity looked at her friend and immediately saw the small red spot forming on her dress. Seeing what it was, she tried to keep the girls away, but it was too late. Giggles and whispers began. Mrs. Nightwing appeared with smelling salts in hand. Gemma awoke, realized what had happened, and turned as red as her skirt.

Later that night Felicity found and Ann and dragged her along to go see Gemma. Upon entering the room she found Gemma curled up in bed with a hot water bottle pressed against her lower abdomen. A cup of tea and a glass of brandy sat on her bedside table. Ann was completely embarrassed by what had happened—and the subject of menstruation in general—but Felicity saw it only as a fact of nature. And she understood that men had it worse. Their curse was their own desires. They were forever slaved to their lust. Women, on the other hand, only had to deal with this once a month.

Talk soon turned to what Gemma had learned upon speaking with Kartik. Felicity was not happy to hear that Gemma had lied even though she had suspected it all along. As dangerous as Gemma tried to make it sound, Felicity could not shake the excitement she felt about the magic being lose in the realms. She wanted to go back and play with it. She longed to create beauty with her hands again. Her thoughts were interrupted when Gemma began discussing her fears about Miss McCleethy. They sounded absurd to Felicity, but she was willing to play along, until the subject of the jokes entered the room herself.

Felicity could see how embarrassed Gemma was, but took no mind of it when Miss McCleethy promised a day of archery the following morning. She already liked the woman. And when later Miss McCleethy sat with Ann and her, Felicity felt herself swayed to enjoy the woman's company. She was kind and clever. Over eggnog the girls talked of their childhoods and studies. Felicity found herself thinking that maybe Miss McCleethy would be a fitting alternative to Miss Moore. And when she went to bed that night, she looked forward to the following morning.


	71. Chapter 71

**Another chapter for my faithful readers :)**

Felicity's eyes shot open with the urgency of her day ahead. Archery was on her mind all night. She had dreamt of the realms and of the huntress before her corruption. She had dreamt of the simply joy of taking aim at a target and succeeding. Felicity was eager to get started, but she had to endure morning classes first.

Just as always, the morning decided to slow time down to a deadly pace. Felicity watched the clocks with an attentive eye and was disappointed every time only a minute or two had passed since the time before. She could barely listen in French. Her hymn in music was dreadful. Mrs. Nightwing was displeased to see her complete lack of care when learning the proper manners for a dinner party. Finally, at ten minutes till three, the girls hurried outside to the six targets waiting.

"She told me that the Pooles were descendants of King Arthur himself!" Elizabeth trilled as Gemma, Ann, and Felicity approached. Felicity immediately understood who they were discussing. Miss McCleethy had become quite the popular teacher around Spence in only one day.

"Gemma, she tells the most wonderful stories," Ann said looking at the red-head. Gemma, for her part, looked like someone had thrown a brick at her head.

"Of Wales and the school there. They had dances practically every other week, with actual _men_ there." Felicity gave extra emphasis on the word men because she knew of the power it held over her friends. Felicity was going to add a snide remark about how much trouble they could all get in if men were allowed, but Martha spoke first.

"I pray that she will prevail upon Mrs. Nightwing to let us do the same."

"Do you know what else she said?" Cecily asked.

"No. For I was not there," Gemma responded, sounding rather pitiful.

Felicity hoped she would get over her self-pity soon because having one Ann was quite enough. "Oh, Gemma, she did ask about you as well," she said to hopefully turn Gemma's mood around.

"She did?"

"Yes. She wanted to know all about you. She didn't even seem to mind that you'd called her a prig."

"Gemma, you didn't," Elizabeth said, wide-eyed.

"I wasn't the only one." Felicity noticed the way Gemma stared her down, but she knew Miss McCleethy had only heard the words. Since she couldn't possibly have seen Felicity grin, she would never know that Felicity had meant it as well.

"I'm sure you will become friends in time," Felicity responded. "Oh, here she is now. Miss McCleethy! Miss McCleethy!"

"Good afternoon, ladies. I see we are ready." Miss McCleethy strode across the lawn like the Queen herself would have. Felicity admired the way she held herself upright and talked with the booming quality of a man. When Miss McCleethy began instruction, Felicity was pleased to see that she knew all the proper techniques to hold her bow. And when Miss McCleethy shot a perfect bulls-eye, Felicity applauded the loudest.

Waiting her turn proved to be rather difficult for Felicity. It took Miss McCleethy what seemed like hours at a time to work her way down the line. Most the girls were dreadful—worse that Felicity had been her first time. Her fingers itched to hold the bow; it had been much too long since the last time Felicity felt the thrill of the hunt.

Finally Miss McCleethy was working with Gemma. Felicity was next, but she realized she couldn't wait any longer. Picking up the bow, Felicity readied her arrow. She pulled back and concentrated. Finally, with a whoosh of air from her chest, Felicity released the tension on the string. The arrow whizzed past much faster than any one else's had and stuck fast into one of the middle circles on the target. Felicity was disappointed in her lack of practice. The bow she used now was a little lighter than the one the huntress gave her; as a result, Felicity thought she should have done better.

Felicity continued to practice. Each arrow lodged itself closer to that tiny center until finally she managed to hit her spot. The girls around erupted in cheers. Felicity stood tall with a smirk because she had got her warrior qualities back.

"Excellent, Miss Worthington. You are very strong. I am an admirer of the strong. Why do you think you are able to shoot so well?"

"Because I expect to win," Felicity answered. Gemma shot her a look of distaste, but Felicity brushed it off. She wasn't lying. It was the same reason she had learned so quickly in the realms. She would do whatever it took to be proven best. And it made Felicity into a fighter.

"Well done, Miss Worthington." Miss McCleethy began marching across the grass, pulling wayward arrows out as she went. "Ladies, you cannot waver in your dedication to anything. What you want can be yours. But you must first know what it is that you want."

"I don't want to be an archer," Cecily whined. "My arm aches."

Miss McCleethy did not hear Cecily's pathetic whimper and continued her lecture. "Let Miss Worthington be an example to us all." Felicity grinned at the announcement of her name. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Cecily shoot her a nasty look, but it turned to horror before Felicity's eyes.

Ann's shout pulled Felicity from her thoughts. "Gemma!" It was too late though. Gemma had sent an arrow buzzing directly at Miss McCleethy's head. A single gloved hand reached up in protection. Blood immediately spilled over the white of the glove.

"Give her a handkerchief!" Martha yelled as Felicity came closer. Gemma handed Miss McCleethy hers and no one missed the cold look she was greeted with for her stupidity.

"I-I am so sorry," Gemma stammered. "I didn't see you."

"Do you see anything, Miss Doyle?" Miss McCleethy's tone was harsh, but Felicity was on her side of this argument.

"Should I fetch Mrs. Nightwing?" Felicity asked, ready to do her part to help.

"No. Continue with your practice. Miss Doyle will help me dress the wound. As penance."

"Yes, of course." Gemma helped pull Miss McCleethy to her feet before they began the awkward walk back to the school. Felicity turned around and looked at the four faces in front of her. They were waiting for her to tell them what to do.

"Resume your practice," Felicity commanded. "And try not to kill anyone."

The girls hurried back to their quivers. Felicity picked hers up and shot three bulls-eyes in a row. The others were no longer practicing. They watched her move with a fluidity and grace that they had never seen. Felicity began shooting from further away and at odd angles. She continually hit her target. She never missed the target at all; mostly she managed to hit bulls-eyes.

Showing off some, Felicity began to shoot while she ran. The others ooed and awed at her obvious skill. When Miss McCleethy returned with Gemma in tow, she took in Felicity's skill with a critical eye. Felicity thought it best to show some modesty before Miss McCleethy questioned her skills. All in all, it was the best day Felicity had had in a long while.


	72. Chapter 72

**Well it has been awhile. Sorry, I have been very busy. I hope all my American readers had a great Independence Day. We are almost to the realsm again. It's going to be great :)**

That evening was the annual Christmas pageant in the ballroom of Spence. Felicity, holding the highest rank, picked out the best dress of them all—a red velvet gown with gold sewn into the hems. It was the same dress she wore the year before. She called it Christmas Yet to Come like all the past wearers had insisted as well though it was probably just a pretty medieval style dress.

When Gemma mentioned the odd items in Miss McCleethy's bag, Felicity brushed it off as jealousy on Gemma's part. She was already growing very fond of Miss McCleethy and refused to believe that she was anything less than what she appeared to be. Felicity knew part of her love for the new teacher was due in part because of Miss McCleethy's obvious preference for her. But she also thought the woman was interesting in a more mysterious way. As a result, she was Felicity's new experiment; she longed to dig up McCleethy's secrets.

After dinner, the girls all met in the great hall. All the teachers celebrated Christmas over sherries and playful talk. Meanwhile, the girls congregated in their usual pairings with cups of cider. Felicity thought back to the year previously. She and Pippa had exchanged their gifts alone behind the tree. Pippa had given Felicity a pair of satin gloves. In return, Felicity handed Pippa a brooch that brought out the violet in her eyes. The pair had hugged and promised to be friends until death do them part. The memory gave Felicity a burst of joy because she had managed to keep that one.

The usual festivities in the great hall commenced. Carols were sung. The candles on the tree were lit. All the gifts for teachers were presented. Felicity was excited for the presenting of Nightwing's gift. For the past three weeks Felicity had worked diligently to provide the headmistress with the most beautiful gift possible. She collected money from each student, traveled to London with a chaperone, and purchased the most beautiful hat she could find. She had spent the most money out of all the students, but she did not hold a grudge. After all, Mrs. Nightwing had proven herself to be more than Felicity had ever bargained for. She was kind, compassionate, and understanding in ways the rest of the world was not.

Cecily, the oldest girl, presented Nightwing with the gift. Mrs. Nightwing opened it and her eyes filled with tears. There was no denying how much the gift meant to her—how much the students meant to her. When the sentiments were over, Felicity pulled Ann and Gemma to a small corner near the tree to exchange gifts. On the same excursion to London for Mrs. Nightwing's gift, Felicity had purchased Gemma's. She wanted to buy something for Ann, but she ran out of money. Instead, she gave Ann an old brooch that she always admired. Gemma received a tortoiseshell comb from Felicity.

Ann presented each of her friends with an ornament that matched the one they had placed at Pippa's shrine. Felicity admired the careful needlework and was grateful. Ann had given what she could and it was beautiful. Felicity felt a sudden warmness inside her stomach because after everything that had gone wrong in the past year; she had gained two friends that cared for her despite everything she had done to hurt them in the past.

It was Gemma's turn to give her gifts. Felicity leaned over to peer behind her back for the hidden gifts, but Gemma had nothing in her hands. "Where is it?" Ann asked when she found no hidden packages either.

"Meet me here at midnight," Gemma whispered. Immediately Felicity understood. She flew into Gemma's arms like a cannonball. Ann did the same, resulting in the three girls squealing and hugging like a bunch of hyenas. A loud laugh broke up their giddy excitement. It came from Mrs. Nightwing. Felicity had only heard the laugh a few other times in her life. It always caught her off guard.

"Oh Sa-Claire, you have undone me," Mrs. Nightwing said with more chuckles. Her cheeks were red from the sherry.

"As I recall, it was you who stated the trouble. You were quite bold then, I remind you." Miss McCleethy teases. Felicity felt herself scooting closer along with every other girl in attendance. They ask questions like "What is it?" and "Will you tell us?"

"Did you not know your headmistress was quite the mischief maker?" Miss McCleethy said, sparking more interest. "And a romantic, as well."

"Now, now," Mrs. Nightwing chided as she poured herself another glass of sherry.

"Do tell us," Elizabeth begged. She was backed up by a chorus of girls begging the same thing. Mrs. Nightwing made no further remarks so Miss McCleethy assumed it was safe to continue.

"We were at a Christmas dance. Such glorious favors they had. Do you remember, Lillian?"

Mrs. Nightwing nodded with eyes closed. "Yes. Cards with thick red tassels. Lovely, lovely."

"There were many gentlemen in attendance, but of course, we all had our hearts set on a particular man with dark hair and the most elegant figure. He was so very handsome." Felicity tried to picture the man, but an image of Pippa was all she could see behind her closed eyes. " 'That is the man I shall marry,' your headmistress announced to all of us, bold as you please. We laughed, but in a moment, she took my arm and paraded past-"

"I did not _parade_…"

"…and dropped her dance card very artfully at his feet, pretending not to notice. Of course, he came after her. And they dance three in a row till the chaperones intervened."

"What happened then?" Felicity asked.

"She married him," Miss McCleethy answered. "That very Christmas." Felicity felt a smile pull at the corners of her lips. She could picture it all—a young Nightwing going after what she wanted.

"That is terribly romantic," Cecily swooned.

"Yes, terribly," all the girls agreed.

"It was quite bold of you, Lillian," Miss McCleethy said with no sense of chiding at all.

A cloud passed over Mrs. Nightwing's face. "It was folly."

"When did Mr. Nightwing die?" Gemma whispered to Felicity.

"I don't know. I'll pay you a pound to ask about him."

"Not on your life."

"Don't you want to know?" Felicity asked, hoping that Gemma would take the bait.

"Not that badly," Gemma responded.

"A pound, you say?" Ann intervened. Felicity nodded once, knowing that Ann would do it for the money. Just as she suspected, Ann cleared her throat. "Mrs. Nightwing, has Mr. Nightwing been gone from us long?"

"Mr. Nightwing has been with the angels for twenty-five years," she responded without looking up from her glass. Felicity did the math in her head; Mrs. Nightwing had been a widow for half her life. It was a sad realization.

"He was a young man, then?" Cecily prodded.

"Yes. Young, young. We'd been married for six very happy years. One day…" She trailed off.

"One day?" Ann prompted, her eyes filled with excitement at the prospect of a pound.

"One day he left for work at the bank." She took a sip of the sherry before continuing. "And I never saw him again."

"What happened?" Elizabeth gasped.

Mrs. Nightwing seemed to struggle with an answer to this question. She was obviously uncomfortable with the conversation, but she saw no way to stop it now. "He was run down by a carriage on the street."

Felicity could not believe what she heard. It was the kind of news that people had no response to. Tragedy always strikes when least expected, and Felicity could hardly imagine what it must have felt like to be Mrs. Nightwing during the days after her husband's death. She imagined it to be much like the days following Pippa's. And those thoughts were the kind that she didn't want to return to.

Before Felicity's eyes Mrs. Nightwing regained control. She went back to her normal self—the person the girls felt much more comfortable with. Felicity made an effort to forget what she had heard as well. It was easier to keep an uninterested attitude toward the woman without the knowledge of her past.

When Cecily began her story of Cecile and Jemima, Felicity felt all the remains of sadness disappear. She was surprised at Cecily's audacity. She felt the same sudden urge to hit her that was beginning to become a constant emotion. The girls listened intently as Cecily implored her ridiculous story. When it was over, no one seemed to enjoy it much—except Ann who was oblivious to the parallels.

As the night continued on, many girls fell asleep. Talk became hushed. Gemma, Ann, and Felicity sat against the wall talking quietly of nothing of importance. When Mrs. Nightwing announced bed time, the girls filed into their separate rooms. Felicity sat on her bed and waited. The anticipation of what was to come was enough to pass the minutes quickly. Before long, it was midnight.


	73. Chapter 73

**Well here it is. I would like to dedicate this chapter to QueenCobraWing who has been reading and reviewing since the beginning. I know how long you have been waiting for this. Thank you again to all readers. The reviews you leave are wonderful little cherries on top of my days. **

Felicity hurried down to the great hall without bothering to grab her cloak for warmth. As a result, she froze while waiting for Gemma and Ann to appear into the ominous room. She heard their footsteps before they were close enough to be seen. Neither Ann nor Gemma had remembered a cloak either. Ann's teeth chattered as she reminded Felicity of the pound she owed. "Don't forget that you owe me a pound."

"I shan't."

"I'm afraid."

"So am I," Gemma replied.

Felicity wanted to be the courageous person she usually tried to be, but she couldn't. She was nervous too. "Whatever happens, we do not leave without each other." It was a slap in the face to Gemma, meant to warn her against what had happened the last time.

"Agreed," Gemma answered. Silence dragged on as Gemma caught her breath. "Give me your hands."

Felicity closed her eyes and concentrated. At first she felt only the sticky cold sweat on Gemma's hand and Ann's warm fingers. But the tingle did come. It started in Gemma's hand and coursed through all of Felicity's body until it met Ann's grip. When it stopped, Felicity opened her eyes. The door was there, just as bright as ever. A wave of joy crashed down on Felicity; she had forgotten how to feel this great.

"I don't know what we'll find there," Gemma whispered before moving toward the light.

Felicity knew there was no backing out now. "There is only one way to find out."

Gemma led the way into the realms and to everyone's surprise, it was just as they remembered. The trees rained flowers. The sky was locked in its eternal sunset. The green grass, the song of the river, and the heavenly glow of it all brought a smile to the girls' faces. But what caught Felicity off guard was the smell of the air.

Felicity remembered it as the scent of ocean water clung to her father's uniform. She remembered childhood foods and the scent of warm memory. But now something had changed. Those smells still existed, but they were only a trace of the overall bouquet of scents. In the forefront—the overpowering scent—was the same smell that Felicity had savored on her dead friend's pillow. It had no name other than Pippa. What Felicity smelled was her friend; and it was enough to bring her to tears.

"Oh!" Felicity squealed in a giddy dance. "It's so beautiful!"

Out of the corner of her eye, Felicity could see Ann admiring herself in the mirror of the river. "I'm so beautiful here." She was. Ann was exactly as she would be if she had no worries and stress.

Felicity ran to the closest tree and ran her fingers over the bark. Under her command it turned to a fountain. "That's extraordinary. We can do anything here. Anything!"

"Watch!" Ann shouted as she cupped a blade of grass in her hands. When she opened them up a ruby pendant had taken the place of the grass. "Help me put it on!" Felicity locked the clasp and admired the way it shined against Ann's skin.

Felicity watched as Gemma wandered away in search of her mother. But just as the girls had expected, Virginia Doyle did not come out of hiding. She had crossed the river and gone to whatever came next. "Follow me," Gemma said once she had given up.

Felicity wandered close behind her friend toward the silver arch. Once they had passed through the girls reached the circle where the crystal runes once stood. In their place was now only charred patched of earth and tiny toadstools.

"Gracious," Ann said. "Did you really do that, Gemma?"

"Yes."

"But how?" Felicity asked in disbelief. "How were you able to break something that stood for centuries?"

"I don't know."

"Ugh," Ann muttered after stepping on one of the toadstools. It is now a puddle of black goop.

"Mind your step," Felicity warned.

"Where do we look for this temple?" Ann asked, changing the subject to the real reason they were there.

Gemma sighed. "I've no idea. Kartik said there's no map. I only know that it is somewhere inside the realms."

"We don't know how large this place is," Ann said. "Or how many realms there could be."

"You've nothing to go on?" Felicity asked. Before Gemma began her answer, Felicity heard movement coming from a grove of olive trees.

"No. We know it can't be here in the garden or else we'd have seen it already." Felicity looked toward the trees again because she heard it again. And that's when she saw the most spectacular sight. Her body went rigid; her eyes bore into the vision in disbelief. "I suppose we should pick a direction and… What is it?"

Felicity watched as the girl she loved stepped out from behind the cover of trees. In her dark ringlets sat a garland of flowers turning her into the princess she always was. Felicity noted the same violet eyes and pale skin. Nothing had changed. She looked exactly as she always had—beautiful and alive.

"Hello," Pippa said. "I was hoping you'd come back."

All the fear and wonderment vanished at the voice of her dear friend. Felicity could not bear being away from her any longer. Her feet took off, ignoring a hesitant shout from Gemma. And then Pippa was in her arms. Felicity squeezed her friend tight, savored each jolt of energy from her core. Pippa's lips found her cheeks and kissed away the falling tears. "It's you!" Felicity said in between her laughing tears. "Pip, Pip, darling Pip, you're here!"

"Yes! I'm here. Ann! Gemma! Oh, please don't stand staring so."

"Pippa!" Ann cried, running to her side. Felicity did not remove her hand from Pippa's back as she embraced a now crying Ann as well. Felicity did not want to ever lose her friend again.

Still in the same spot, Gemma fell to the ground in an eruption of sobs. "Oh, Gemma, darling, don't cry," Pippa whimpers. In an instant she was by the red-head's side. Felicity's hand was still reaching out where Pippa had just been. Her fingers felt cold without the warmth of Pippa kissing them. "Don't cry," Pippa cooed.

Felicity ran over to Pippa's side again. Her fingers once again found the warm skin of Pippa's arm. "If you could see your face, Gemma. Really, so serious," Pippa joked. Gemma laughed and a few more tears fell. Felicity was surprised at her own childish laughter paired with the abundance of tears. But she was not the only one. Soon the girls were all hugging tightly. Their high-pitched laughs and moist cheeks made for an amusing sight.

The girls told Pippa everything; they talked of her funeral, Spence, and many other trite things that seemed so far away from where they were at that moment. When they had finished those talks, Pippa told what she had learned of the realms. Gemma seemed upset that Pippa knew more about the magical place than she did, but her moodiness passed quickly. Pippa was too earnest and brimming with excitement to stay angry with. Felicity made sure to always have some body part resting against Pippa. It was the only way she felt warm and alive too.

When exhausted of all the talk, the girls began to play with the magic again. Felicity used the opportunity to sneak Pippa away. She was not going to miss another opportunity. She would not lose Pippa again.

"Pip, dear," Felicity whispered. "I have a secret to tell you. Come with me, please." Gemma and Ann seemed displeased to be left alone, but they nodded toward Pippa to go. Felicity could see that Gemma understood. Pippa and felicity had been friends long before Gemma had come, and they did deserve a moment alone.

"A secret?" Pippa giggled as they disappeared into the cover of the woods. "Is it naughty?"

"It is something I should have told you a long time ago," Felicity answered. Her heart picked up speed the further away the pair got. As soon as they were completely covered by trees and their voices were sure not to carry, Felicity stopped.

"You really must not want them to hear it," Pippa mused. Her hands were adjusting the crown of flowers in her hair. Felicity took a deep breath to steady herself. Suddenly, her knees were threatening mutiny. "I've missed you, Fee."

"I've missed you too," Felicity answered. Her voice quivered briefly before she could steady her throat. "I love you, Pippa," she finally managed to say. But it came out as a breath—barely touching Pippa's eyes at all.

"I love you too, Felicity. So, what is this secret?" Pippa's violet eyes seemed to dance with excitement. Felicity knew Pippa would need to hear it differently if she were going to understand. She struggled with a way to begin.

The words didn't come at first. They kept sticking in her throat. She tried numerous approaches, but nothing worked. Pippa seemed to realize that whatever Felicity needed to say was important. She reached out and grabbed Felicity's hands. "Go on, Fee. Just tell me. I won't tell a soul. Cross my heart."

Felicity took another deep breath and looked into the violet depths. "I. Love. You." She said it as if it was three separate sentences. At first Pippa waited to hear more, but the realization started to taint her eyes eventually. Felicity watched as her eyes brightened with understanding.

A gasp fell from Pippa's mouth before she could find a response. "Like…like a man loves a woman?"

Felicity remembered the night in the caves when they first spoke of Sapphists. At the time it seemed a fair answer. But now Felicity knew it was so much more than that. It wasn't about the physical act. It was the love. "No," she finally answered. "I love you like only a best friend could love you. I love you because I know you best. I love you because of your imperfections. I love you, Pippa, because I know you. And that is a way no other person, man or woman, could ever love you. I love you like I do. It's just the way it is."

Felicity waited for Pippa to respond, but no words came. Her face was a kaleidoscope of emotion. Confusion seemed most prominent, but underneath was a hint of understanding. And under all that was a tiny glimpse of joy. But Felicity couldn't be sure that she hadn't imagined it.

Finally, Pippa found a response. "I don't know if I feel that way too." Felicity felt her heart fall to her feet. This is what she had always feared. "Wait, Felicity," Pippa added as the blonde took two steps back, pulling her hands free as she went. "I'm not done." Felicity stopped retreating and looked back to her lovely friend. "I am not sure that I feel the same. But I have always wondered if I did. I mean, I have always thought of how easy it would be if you were a man. I've never doubted that if you were a man, I would love you.

"I guess I am just confused because now you are presenting yourself as you are. And a part of me thinks it would be wrong to allow you to _love _me." Felicity once again wanted to run. "But, it would be a lie if I told you that I don't love you. I love you more than anyone else. You are everything to me. And if that means that I am wrong, then I guess I will be wrong. What I feel is irreversible. You are my best friend. I can't help the way I feel."

Felicity surged with a new boldness. Pippa had said the same three magic words. And though they weren't exactly what Felicity meant, they were close enough. Before her mind could step in and reason with her, Felicity's heart made an advance. It forced her feet to move in close. And then it commanded Felicity's lips to do what they had been longing to do for much too long.

Felicity took Pippa's cheek in her hand. With one more look into the violet eyes, Felicity closed the distance between their faces. The kiss was soft, but exploding with an intensity Felicity had never felt. The tingle from Pippa's mouth spread across her whole body. It was like no magic Gemma could ever give. Felicity, for the first time, felt herself melt into someone else. And it was perfect.

Felicity's mind did step in. Suddenly it occurred to Felicity that she had not asked to kiss her friend. She felt at odds with her mind, but she gave in to its rationality. Felicity pulled away violently. She retreated three steps and readied herself for an apology. But as soon as her mouth opened to plead for forgiveness, Pippa came barreling into her.

This kiss was different. Pippa was now holding Felicity around the neck tightly and forcing her face closer. Felicity almost fell back with the force of Pippa's passion, but she managed to catch herself. Her hands locked in Pippa's dark hair and pulled her close. The pair kissed with a frenzy of emotion. Everything that had hidden in their own minds as indecent and improper ruptured out of their lips. Felicity opened Pippa's mouth with her own and slid her tongue inside. A shot of electricity jolted through Felicity's body when their tongues met for a fraction of a second.

The kiss dragged on for what seemed like years and ended too soon. Neither girl knew what to say when it was over. They only admired each other's flushed cheeks and frantic eyes. Felicity pulled Pippa in for one last embrace before returning to her friends. "We should get back," she whispered into Pippa's ear and stealing a quick whiff of Pippa's scent off her hair.

"What do we tell them?"

"Nothing," Felicity answered. "This is about us. No one else matters." Felicity liked the way "us" sounded. It held the power to brand the two together forever. And forever with Pippa was all Felicity wanted.

"You'll come back?"

"As soon as possible."

"And we will do this again?" Pippa's cheeks darkened at her own bold request.

"Of course," Felicity whispered. "I already miss you."

"Then don't leave yet."

"We have to go back to Gemma and Ann. They will become suspicious if we don't."

"I wish you could enter on your own."

"Me too," Felicity agreed. She pulled Pippa in for one last kiss. Their lips met for only a brief second before Felicity did the right thing and ended it. She grabbed Pippa's hand and led her back toward her friends.

The four girls played with the magic for a while longer before it was really time to go. Felicity could not bear to wait longer than two nights to see Pippa again so she invited Ann home for the holiday season. She knew she would probably regret her choice at some point, but it would all be worth it to see Pippa sooner than later.

Pippa promised to search for the gorgon while they were gone. And with that, the girls said their goodbye. Felicity held Pippa a little tighter than necessary. Her kiss of Pippa's cheek brushed the corner of her lips. "Two days," she whispered before pulling away. "I promise."

When Ann, Gemma, and Felicity came back through the door, they realized that they had taken the magic out with them. Felicity felt the same dark part of her that craved power trying to convince her mind to stray from Gemma again. But Felicity was done with that. She finally had told Pippa how she felt and everything had worked out better than she had hoped.

That night Felicity had her first full-night's sleep since Pippa had died. There were no nightmares, no ghastly figures, and no tears. Suddenly Christmas seemed much jollier because Felicity was loved by the one she loved.


	74. Chapter 74

**It took me a while to write this chapter after the euphoric high of the last one. I hope this isn't a let down after all the fun excitement of Chapter 73. Oh well, it had to come. **

When Felicity woke from her peaceful slumber, she immediately sprung into action. She had much to do before her carriage arrived. She still hadn't packed and needed to send a telegram home. She could still feel some of the magic inside of her, so Felicity put it to work. A telegram was sent with absolutely minimum effort on her part. She didn't even have to leave her room.

Felicity now had to figure out which traveling outfit to wear for the journey home. She wanted to look beautiful for her father since he had not seen her in years. After scouring her wardrobe for a few minutes, Felicity found a simple white and red winter dress. She then laid out a coat and her muff for the carriage ride.

Before getting to her packing Felicity decided she needed to come up with a story for Ann. She hurried over to the tiny room and knocked once before entering. Ann's bag was already packed and sitting near the door. Gemma's side of the room was in disarray as she packed. As for Ann, she sat on her bed with a book in hand.

"Good morning, Ann. I see you are already packed and ready."

"I understand if you want to change your mind about taking me," Ann mumbled.

"Why would I do that?" Felicity pictured Pippa in her mind and knew Ann's mood swings were well worth the torture if it meant seeing her again shortly. "You deserve a holiday away."

"Well in that case," Ann said as she jumped up. "I better go inform Mrs. Nightwing of your decision."

"My parents already know too. At least, they should. I used the magic to send a telegram."

At this Gemma stopped digging through her wardrobe. "You used the magic for something so easy?"

"I might as well use it while I have it." Felicity took a seat on Gemma's bed before adding. "Besides, it's not like I used it to harm anyone. It was just a simple dose of magic to save me some time."

"I just think we ought to be careful," Gemma answered. Felicity rolled her eyes looked back to Ann. "Well, are you going to go talk to Nightwing?"

"Oh, right. I got distracted. "I'll be back." With that, Ann left Felicity alone with Gemma.

"Are you cross?" Felicity asked when Gemma did not bother to even look at her.

"No," Gemma answered it what sounded like honesty to Felicity. "I just cannot find a pair of gloves that I swore I had with me. It's frustrating me."

"Use the magic."

"To find a glove? You are rather lazy, Felicity."

"From what I can see, you have looked everywhere. It's not laziness. Rather, think of it as using your resources." Gemma smiled and closed her eyes. Immediately, a pair of gloves began floating out from under the bed. They landed in Gemma's lap like a feather caught in a breeze.

"I guess you're right. That probably did save me some time."

"I'm always right, Gemma," Felicity responded only half kidding.

"Last night was great, wasn't it?"

Felicity's mind jumped to the kiss she had shared with Pippa. It was more than she had ever expected. Great didn't even begin to cover how well the night had gone. "It was bloody well perfect."

Gemma laughed as she resumed her packing. "What did you sneak Pippa off to talk about?" she asked after a few long seconds of silence.

"I told her about some developments in secrets we have shared for years." Felicity leaned back against the wall and watched as Gemma folded up clothes for the winter holiday. "Why do you ask? Are you jealous?"

"Not at all," Gemma responded without looking Felicity in the eyes. "I was just curious because wasn't it you yourself that said the Order was not supposed to keep secrets from each other?"

"Secrets that pertain to the realms, Rakshana, and the Order itself."

"You never made that distinction."

"I didn't think I had to. Besides, it's not like you don't have secrets yourself, Gemma. Tell me, when was the last time you woke from a dream in a cold sweat from an indecent dream?" Gemma's eyes widened and her cheeks flared. "Exactly my point. You don't tell me everything. I don't tell you everything. But I do tell you everything that matters to our relationship as members of the Order."

"I guess you're right."

"I know I'm right. So I would appreciate it if you could keep your nose out of my business." Felicity realized that she was being altogether too harsh. Gemma hadn't meant to offend her anymore than she had wanted to hurt her friend. But both managed to do exactly what they wanted to avoid. "I'm sorry," Felicity whispered. "That was unfair."

"No," Gemma answered. "You are completely right. You have a relationship with Pippa that I will never be able to understand. I should learn not to meddle so much."

"You aren't jealous of Pippa, are you?" Felicity asked, hoping the answer was no.

"Of course not."

Felicity wasn't convinced. "Because if you are, I want you to know that it is absurd. I do care about you. You're a different type of friend than Pippa is. What we have is unique."

Gemma smiled broadly. She opened her mouth to respond, but Ann entered and the moment passed. "Mrs. Nightwing thinks it's great that you're taking me home with you."

"Well we have a lot to do then; come on, Ann." Felicity led the chubby girl back into her room. "We need to come up with a good cover story for you. We want everyone to treat you as an equal."

"What if I am descended from royalty?"

"That would work as long as we choose someone that they would never know." Felicity began tossing clothing into her trunk without much care.

"What about a distant relative in America? Related to the president, maybe?"

"That would not rank you high enough. We need royalty. How about Russia?" Felicity looked at Ann's English features. She knew it was a long shot that anyone would believe it, but she also knew how eager people were to believe that they knew someone important. They would eat up the story in hopes of raising their own social status.

"Russia?" Ann asked, skeptical.

"Yes. It's coming to me now. You will have recently found out from your great-uncle, the Duke of Chesterfield, that you are actually descended from the Czar himself."

"People will believe it?"

"People are eager to believe illusions," Felicity answered confidently.

"I don't have pretty clothes though," Ann whispered.

"Like I said, Ann, you just recently found out about your relations. It will allow for the fact that you are not well dressed. If anything, it will have my mother taking pity on you immensely. Your reputation will increase drastically."

"Are you sure?"

"Do you trust me?" Felicity asked using the full force of her charm. She stepped closer to the pudgy girl and laid a hand on her shoulder. "I would never intentionally hurt you, Ann. You are my friend." As she said the words, Felicity pictured Pippa's eyes filled with awe after that first kiss.

"O-o-of course I trust you," Ann stuttered. Her cheeks darkened and Felicity let go before the poor girl died from an overdose of flattery.

"Then you have nothing to worry about. Help me finish packing." The two girls took another ten minutes to load all of the clothes Felicity wanted for the fortnight away into her three trunks. At last she was done. The carriage was to arrive in a few more minutes, but she needed food. Felicity used the last of her magic to create an apple for both the girls. "This should tie us over until we get on the train. We can purchase food then."

Ann ate her apple quickly as Felicity savored the juices. When they had both finished it was time to go. Felicity gave Ann a cape to wear for the trip as she put hers on. They met Gemma downstairs and exchanged goodbyes. Felicity set off in the courage with high hopes for her trip home. She was optimistic that her family would be happy again.


	75. Chapter 75

**Enjoy :)**

Felicity was much too nervous to scold Ann for picking at the hem of her dress. She could see that Ann was just as fretful as they rode in silence toward Victoria Station. When the train finally braked audibly at their stop, Ann and Felicity filed out of the doors along with many other holiday hopefuls.

Ann was forced to help Felicity carry her luggage because all of the attendants were busy due to the excess of people. As a result, Ann trailed a few steps behind Felicity as she scanned the crowds for her father. At first she could not see him over the bustle of various sized people.

"Miss Worthington!" A voice to her left called out. When Felicity turned she could see no one except a port man of about forty. He definitely was not her party. "Miss Worthington! Over here!" Felicity glanced again, and this time she saw one of the household maids pushing through the throngs of people. It was Candice, the only household help that Felicity could remember always being around.

Candice finally shoved the port man away and stepped directly in front of Felicity. Ann came hurrying up after. "Miss Worthington, your parents sent me to escort you home."

"It's a pleasure to see you, Candice." Felicity was not lying. Candice had been one of the only steady persons in her life since she was a child. She could see that the woman was getting old, but still had the cheerful attitude of a child. She had always been Felicity's favorite. "Are you still working for my parents?"

"Not really. They offered to allow me to live full time in my room if I oversee that the rest of the staff works diligently while they are away. It is a simple job that leaves me much freedom to do as I please. I volunteered to come today because I haven't seen you in years. They were going to send one of the more recent additions to the house, but she had no idea what you liked like or how to find you."

"Well I am glad to see you; it's been too long."

"It has," Candice responded with a toothy grin. Suddenly her eyes fell on Ann, who was catching her breath. "And who is this?"

"May I present to you Miss Ann Bradshaw."

"How do you do, Miss Bradshaw?"

"I do well, thank you," Ann replied with a smile. Felicity could see that she was fighting back the urge to run all the way back to the safety of Spence.

"Very well. Your parents are expecting us soon. Let's hurry back."

The carriage ride back to Felicity's large estate seemed to move all too fast. Before Felicity could gather herself enough they were standing outside her home. She felt a small burst of joy that only home can bring on. But it faded when she realized that somewhere inside her father waited. And what he saw in his daughter would determine her happiness for the rest of the fortnight.

Felicity led Ann into the main doors without a word. Nothing in the main parlor had changed. It was the same large, cold home that she loved dearly. "Hello!" Felicity called out to inform her family that she had returned. The carriage driver, an older man with sun tanned skin, carried the last of Felicity's luggage through the door while she waited.

"Felicity, you look simply marvelous," Mrs. Worthington exclaimed as she appeared from around the corner. She pulled Felicity into a stern hug before looking her up and down one more time. "The trip went well, I presume?"

"Very well. Mother, I would like to introduce you to Miss Ann Bradshaw—a friend from school."

"Miss Bradshaw? You are the scholarship student, correct?" They way Mrs. Worthington asked the question was much like the way Cecily talked about Ann.

"She was a scholarship student," Felicity answered. "But the most extraordinary thing happened just a few days ago. Ann here was approached by a long lost great uncle. He informed her that she is a distant relative of the Russian royal family."

"Is this true, Miss Bradshaw?"

Felicity looked at Ann and held her breath. The whole lie relied on Ann's answer here. "I was just as astonished as you, Mrs. Worthington. But it appears that it is in fact true. My great uncle decided to allow me to finish out my schooling before I return to Russia."

"And I," Felicity added. "Decided to invite her home as soon as I heard the news. There is no need for a royal girl to spend her Christmas season alone at Spence."

"You were absolutely right in doing so, Felicity. It is our pleasure to have you here, Miss Bradshaw. We have prepared a bedroom for you near Felicity's. Sally here has already moved your luggage. Felicity will show you the bedroom in a minute. But first, your father has a surprise for you."

"A surprise?" Felicity asked. "Where is Father?"

"He had to finish writing a letter, but he should come down from his study any second now. Oh, I think I hear him now."

Felicity could too. Her father's heavy footsteps were a permanent part of her memory. She could not erase the sound of his heavy boots on the hard floors any more than she could erase what he had done in her bedroom late at night.

Mr. Worthington appeared from the same corner Mrs. Worthington had come from. He was in his naval uniform. It made him look dashing and much younger than he actually was. Felicity was stricken by how little he had changed. The only real difference was that now she stood taller than before.

"Felicity! You look absolutely beautiful!" he admired with a gleam in his eye that didn't go unnoticed by Felicity. "Turn around. Let me see you." Felicity did as she was told. "Stunning. Just as I would expect any daughter of mine to be. Now come, hug your father."

Felicity stepped in and allowed his big arms to squeeze her tight against his broad chest. He smelled of the ocean. She breathed in deep and remembered how much she enjoyed this smell as a very small child. "It's good to see you, Father," Felicity said politely when he had pulled away.

"You brought a friend!" Mr. Worthington suddenly exclaimed. Felicity sighed, knowing that her mother had forgotten to inform him.

"George, this is Miss Ann Bradshaw. She is a distant descendent of the Russian royal family."

"Russian! Bloody hell! I didn't know we would be hosting for the Czar's family."

Felicity smiled at the use of her father's curse. She had inherited her improper language from him. "She only recently learned of her heritage. But I invited her home just yesterday. Mother only just now found out."

"Well regardless of when people found out, I am pleased. But now I must attend to my work. Dinner will be served soon. I look forward to our meal together."

"Felicity, will you show Ann to her room so you can clean up before dinner?"

"Sure," Felicity mumbled. She could already see that this trip was going to be a long one.

"Felicity, manners." Mrs. Worthington scolded.

Without another word, and definitely no apology, Felicity pulled Ann through the hallway leading to the stairs. At the top Felicity took in her surroundings. "This is most likely the room my parents have arranged for you," Felicity said as she opened the door nearest the stairs. Just as she expected Ann's luggage was placed against the far wall.

"It's beautiful," Ann exclaimed, taking in the décor.

"It is one of our more extravagant guest rooms. My room is two doors down. In between us is the room where my parents keep all my old toys. They chose not to get rid of them in case they ever had another child. I don't know why they still have them, but I honestly don't care. Dinner is served precisely at six every night. Wear one of your better dresses. I will meet you at the stairs at five tell."

"Thank you, Felicity," Ann whispered with an intense honesty.

"You're welcome," Felicity answered before closing Ann's door. Forcing a smile, Felicity made her way over to her bedroom. She promised herself to be civil and kind no matter how difficult it would be.


	76. Chapter 76

**It's short, but at least it is posted. Enjoy :)**

"How's school Felicity?" Admiral Worthington asked in between a few bites of potatoes.

"The same as always," Felicity answered with no enthusiasm.

"Do you share the same distaste for schooling as my daughter does, Miss Bradshaw?"

"Oh, heavens no," Ann answered honestly. "I understand the importance of my education. So many years of thinking I was to be a governess have taught me to value the small blessings I do receive."

"That is marvelous!" Mrs. Worthington focused all her charm on Ann to Felicity's dismay. "Felicity could learn something about gratefulness from you."

Ann smiled broadly as her cheeks darkened from the compliment. Felicity, on the other hand, felt her food turn cold in her mouth. "I am plenty grateful, Mother!" she hissed once the food was safely down her throat.

"Careful, Lydia, you seem to have angered our daughter. You know how she gets." It was a private insult at Felicity's expense.

"Yes, I do. She is just like you!"

"She is," Mr. Worthington responded cheerfully. "And that is why I love her so."

The table went silent as the family ate in silence. Felicity had lost her appetite, but she continued to fork food down her throat. Finally, Mrs. Worthington broke the silence. "Felicity, Miss Bradshaw, how would you like to do a little shopping tomorrow?"

"Very well," Felicity answered smugly.

"You need to be fitted for a few new dresses, Felicity. And Miss Bradshaw, perhaps we can purchase something for you as well?"

"Oh, don't feel obligated to do that. I'm content just coming along."

"Nonsense," Mrs. Worthington bellowed with her charming grin. "If you find a hat, or a scarf, or even a muff that you want, just say so."

"Thank you."

"A friend of Felicity's is a friend of ours." Felicity almost choked on her food. She knew that was a lie. What her mother should have said was a member of the Russian royal family is a friend of ours.

"Mother," Felicity said once she could regain control of her tongue. "In two days time, may Ann and I go shopping on Regent Street with Miss Gemma Doyle?"

"Will you agree to take a chaperone?"

"Of course," Felicity answered with a fake smile.

"I don't see it as a problem then as long as Franny comes along."

"Franny?" Felicity tried to hide her distaste. "She still works for you."

"Of course she does," Mrs. Worthington laughed. "She is the best I have." Felicity remembered Franny well. She was a mean maid who rarely allowed Felicity any freedom at all. There was no one Felicity wanted as a chaperone less than her mother's eyes and ears. "That will be suitable for you, yes?"

"Yes," Felicity lied because she was defeated once again.

"Good. Oh and don't shop too late. I was going to invite each of you to the club for tea." Felicity watched as Ann's face lit up. "But I cannot make room for Miss Doyle. Do not, under any circumstances, invite her."

"Yes Mother."

Felicity finished the last of her food and asked to be excused. Ann followed behind silently. Her face showed signs of pure excitement. Felicity could not help but feel a little happy at how great a time Ann was having even if she was not.

"Your family is wonderful!" Ann exclaimed when they reached the top of the stairs. "Just as I imagined what having a family would be like."

"

Felicity finished the last of her food and asked to be excused. Ann followed behind silently. Her face showed signs of pure excitement. Felicity could not help but feel a little happy at how great a time Ann was having even if she was not.

"Your family is wonderful!" Ann exclaimed when they reached the top of the stairs. "Just as I imagined what having a family would be like."

"You will be annoyed with them by the time we go back to Spence, I promise."

"Nonsense! Felicity, they are so loving. And your mother is so beautiful. You really should give them more credit."

"Ann," Felicity said sternly. "You don't know them as well as I do. Do you think they would treat you this well if they knew exactly who you are?" Ann's smile fell. "They are just like every other hypocrite in this country."

"Regardless, I like them."

"I'm just trying to protect you, Ann. They don't care for you."

"You speak as if you don't care for them. You should, Felicity. They love you."

"Love me?" Felicity spat. "They don't love me. They want for me to protect their reputation so they treat me somewhat fairly in hopes that I return the favor."

"Your father loves you," Ann mumbled.

Felicity stopped. She knew Ann was right. But she also knew that her father's love was unnatural. "He loves me, but not how he should."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that he still hasn't done right by me. This conversation is over now, Ann. Come on, we are going to go to the library and chat about pleasant things like the realms and Pippa. I am done arguing." Ann, never one to confront someone else, obeyed like a puppy. Felicity was pleased with the rest of the evening because Ann was pleasant. They talked about everything except her parents. And that, Felicity believed, was how it should be.


	77. Chapter 77

**So it has been forever. I apologize for that. I have had some computer trouble on top of getting my wisdom teeth pulled and whatnot. So, I have been busy. I hope you enjoy. **

As a child Felicity loved shopping excursions with her mother. She adored the clothes her mother would pick out and the way Mrs. Worthington always seemed to know someone. Felicity would admire her mother's ability to charm even the sternest old women with a simple smile. As a child, Felicity dreamed of being just like her.

Today was not one of those days. After Mrs. Worthington refused to help Felicity in her time of need things had changed between mother and daughter. Felicity loathed her mother's hypocritical condescending attitude. The only aspect she did enjoy nowadays was the clothes.

Like always, Mrs. Worthington had found an old friend to chat with while Ann and Felicity browsed the shop. From behind a hat rack Felicity watched Mrs. Worthington gush and rave about her salon in Paris.

"This one is beautiful, isn't it?" Ann mused holding possibly the most expensive hat in the whole store.

"I'm sure she will buy it for you," Felicity responded dryly.

"Oh heavens no! I could never ask for this one. It is far too expensive." Felicity rolled her eyes and wandered off toward the back of the store where all the gloves were placed in tight little passages narrower than bookshelves.

As she passed each of the pairs of gloves Felicity thought of the many times she shared gloves with Pippa. She only had to wait one more day before she would get to see Pippa again. The excitement was electrifying. Soon Felicity was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she completely missed the ringing of the bell over the main entrance. Her daydreams were so consuming that she missed the footfalls heading in her direction. It wasn't until he spoke that Felicity noticed Simon at all.

"Well look who's here. Hiding from your mother, I presume?"

Felicity looked at her old friend with a critical eye. She tried to see past his sparkling eyes and broad shoulders. When she looked close enough she could see the small freckles on his hand and tiny bump on his nose. Simon was attractive, but not perfect. And he definitely was no Pippa. "What brings you to the glove aisle, Simon? Thinking of joining the circus as the bearded woman?"

He smiled and shook his head. "You haven't changed a bit. Actually, I am shopping for my mother. I have no idea what she would like."

"I won't pretend to know what that old woman wants. I only know that you are blocking my way out." Felicity tried to push past Simon, but he wouldn't budge. She immediately felt uncomfortable.

"How have you been? I mean since your friend died."

"I told you in my letter that it is none of your concern."

"Why do you always push me away?" Simon asked with obvious irritation. "I was good to you."

Felicity felt a small twinge of guilt. She never knew how to tell Simon that she was the problem, not him. "I don't have time for this right now."

"Your mother is still chatting with Mrs. Parley. I think you do have time. I want an answer. Why did you do it?"

"Do what?" Felicity asked as she looked for a way around him. He had her cornered. The only way out was through him. She knew that she could start screaming to get someone's attention but Felicity had no desire to ruin his reputation. Simon just wanted to talk; she owed him that.

"You…you seduced me and then left without any sort of explanation."

Felicity remembered that day clearly. It was the first time she had ever taken control over her body and physicality. She had left Simon because she knew he deserved better than damaged goods. "Simon, I don't know how to explain it. I'm just not _right _for you."

"Do I have any say in this?" he snapped. "I was serious when I told you that I would marry you. But then you cut all ties from me. Is it because you felt guilty about no longer being chaste?"

Felicity actually laughed out loud. She never thought Simon to be stupid until now. "You thought I was chaste when I bedded you? You couldn't tell that I had far more experience than you?"

Felicity did not mean for the words to hurt Simon, but they did nevertheless. He flinched away. When he refocused his gaze, Simon seemed to see Felicity in a whole new light. "I should have known you were a whore."

"I'm a whore? Really, Simon? I've heard stories about you and one of your maids in the barn. And I heard about your tryst with a married woman as well."

"You've heard rumors."

"Regardless of the nature of these stories, you have no right to call me a whore. You don't know me."

"I do know you, Felicity. I know you better than most. I know that you are stubborn and harsh because you don't want to let people in. You are terrified of letting people see behind your masks because you know they won't like you anymore. You chose to walk away from me because you knew that I had gotten a glimpse of the real you and it was unbearable."

"You're wrong, Simon," Felicity whispered. "I chose to leave you because I realized that I could never love you the way you deserve. I knew instinctively that my heart would always belong to someone else. And I knew that you deserved better than someone who ultimately would betray you in the end."

"So who is it that you love? Yourself?"

"And that is where our conversation ends. Move!" Felicity pushed Simon forcefully. He stumbled backwards before falling to the floor. "I'm sure this is not the last time I will see you this season. We will not have this discussion again. Understand?"

Simon pushed himself back to a standing position. "Next time I see you, I will insult you playfully just like old times."

"Good," Felicity answered. "Oh and you need to find yourself a wife soon since you are such a whore and all." Simon's laughter was gentle and playful as Felicity walked out of his sight. She somehow felt a new surge of joy because she finally had rid of Simon. Now she could focus completely on Pippa.


	78. Chapter 78

**I know it's short. I'm sorry. I have been so busy and I've had a serious case of writers block. But I think I'm finally getting back into it. I hope you enjoy and I will try to write more often.**

After the shopping trip Felicity gave Ann a full tour of her home. They walked room to room slowly as Felicity prattled on about various décor and memories that seemed to exist in a completely different lifetime. Ann asked many questions, longing to know everything about Felicity's life. Felicity, for her part, was relieved when the tour was over without any revelations about her dark past.

Dinner consisted mostly of Mr. and Mrs. Worthington asking the girls about school. Ann gushed about music class and her love for singing. Felicity feigned interest for most the meal. It wasn't until Ann brought up Miss McCleethy that Felicity bothered to give input.

"She's the most peculiar woman, but I think we all love her so," Ann exclaimed. Mrs. Worthington smiled the kind of grin that caused people's hearts to race.

"She's teaching us archery," Felicity stated with her eyes fixed on her father's. She watched as he stopped mid-bite. Slowly, the Admiral's left eyebrow lifted slightly. His eyes regarded the matching ones of his daughter.

"Archery? A man's sport?" Mrs. Worthington asked, disguising her concern behind a fake laugh.

"I'm quite good," Felicity continued, pretending not to notice. "In fact, I am a natural. Miss McCleethy said I have the form of someone who has been doing it for years."

"I would expect nothing less from my daughter," Mr. Worthington responded with an honest smile. His eyes danced as they regarded Felicity warmly. "You are, after all, _my_ daughter."

Felicity cringed. She did not like being his possession. She longed to be her own. Or, at the very least, Felicity longed for her mother to step in and say that she was _their_ daughter. Plural. Belonging to both. Never just to him.

"Are you any good, Miss Bradshaw?" Mrs. Worthington asked to break the silence.

"No, not really," Ann answered with no embarrassment. "I prefer to stick with my singing. That's where I truly excel."

"I cannot wait to hear you, Miss Bradshaw. Perhaps you will sing at the club tomorrow?"

"If you wish."

"We will see." Felicity, seeing that the conversation was turning once more to uninteresting subjects, slid back into the safety of her mind. When the formal dinner had finally ended, Felicity escorted Ann to one of the many sitting rooms. Ann took a seat at the piano and began to play. Soon her soft voice filled the room as Felicity read an anthology of Shakespeare's works.

Though Felicity usually found herself reading the tragedies, that night was different. She skimmed immediately to the sonnets. It was new territory for her, but Felicity longed for something happy—something about love. She read and read, memorizing lines as she went. The sonnets spoke to her, reminded her of her own love. In that moment Felicity realized that love was the same no matter who felt it. Her love for Pippa was no different than Shakespeare's love for his muse. And she was filled with overwhelming joy.

That night Felicity dreamt of Pippa. But unlike so many of her ghastly dreams of the past, that night Pippa was with her in love. They kissed and touched and danced. They bled into one another. They molded and formed to one another. Felicity and Pippa found each other in those dreams; and only in those dreams did Felicity discover peace—unity of mind, heart, and soul.


	79. Chapter 79

**I know, another short one. I'm sorry if you were expecting a better chapter. My heart just wasn't in it this morning. I promise the next one will be much much much better. Thanks for the continual support.**

The next morning Felicity and Ann prepared for their shopping excursion with Gemma. Felicity was excited because she knew they would make time to visit Pippa. She would be sure that they find a way to see dear Pip.

Ann borrowed an old dress of Felicity's and wore her new hat atop her head. Felicity observed how Ann was quickly becoming the part. She even looked a little like Felicity.

The carriage ride to Gemma's home was much too long for Felicity's liking. She was much too eager to be reunited with her friends—both of them. When they finally pulled up, Gemma seemed just as excited as Felicity felt. Almost immediately though, Ann slipped up and mentioned the club that Gemma was not invited to.

Felicity tried to back track and fix the problem, but Gemma mentioned her own engagement first. Felicity was shocked when Gemma told her that she would call on Miss Moore later. Soon Felicity had devised a new plan for the day. They would visit Miss Moore and then go to the club, with Gemma.

Just as expected, Franny protested when Felicity told her of the change of plans. But Felicity would have none of it. She quickly shot the maid down and won. It was Ann who showed some kindness, offering her coat.

Tea with Miss Moore began as they all do. Felicity took in the small flat. Each of the paintings was beautiful in its own way. Felicity felt a pang of jealousy at all the travels Miss Moore had done. She wondered why the woman had chosen not to marry. Suddenly a memory flashed of their last conversation. Miss Moore seemed to know who Felicity was—what Felicity wanted. Was it possible that Miss Moore was the same? Felicity observed the teacher once before deciding it was impossible.

When conversation did finally turn to the realms, Miss Moore proved to be of no assistance. She knew no more than the girls had already learned. Regardless, Felicity found comfort in the talk. Miss Moore flattered the girls by allowing them to tell her all about the "imaginary" realms. Felicity felt the sweet release of telling secrets wash over her. But it was better than a true confession because there was no instant remorse at the consequences of said secrets. Overall it wasn't the most productive day, but still enjoyable.

The girls agreed to see Miss Moore again on Thursday before leaving. It was agreed that they would attend an art showing. Felicity looked forward to the meeting because despite all that had happened, she still liked Miss Moore.

The girls hurried into their carriage and set off toward the club. Felicity didn't know how she would get Gemma in, but she was determined to make it work. Excitement nudged itself in between her ribs as they rode in silence. Soon Felicity would see Pippa again.


	80. Author's Note

Dearest Readers,

I am sorry to keep you waiting for a new chapter for so very long. And I am also sorry that this is only an author's note, not a chapter. If I falsely got your hopes up, I apologize. I do intend to finish this story eventually. Lately I have been dealing with quite a lot in my personal life. Additionally I am working two jobs and trying to manage some semblance of normalcy. At the moment I just don't have the emotional and physical strength to continue on with a progressive story. I do intend to continue writing (because in some ways it is the only consistency in my life), but I cannot commit to any large undertakings like the three stories I am currently engaged in. I will do my best to upload one-shots and other short pieces, but I cannot make any promises. I ask that you bear with me and have patience as I sort through this frustrating time in my life. Thank you for your continued support. Until next time, goodnight.

-Bri


	81. Chapter 81

**Why hello there. I am not sure if there is anyone who will even want to still read this story. It's been over a year since I updated. Yeah. Sorry 'bout that. I have no excuse other than I lost interest. But recently I started re-reading all I had written and it occurred to me that I do still really care about this story. But golly has a lot changed since I wrote this. I am hardly even the same person these days. My writing style has definitely changed (hopefully improved). Anyway, I decided to try my hand at another chapter. I realized staying in past tense is so difficult. There's a definite chance I may change to present at some point later on. But anyay, if you are still reading after all this time I love you tons. If you are new to my story, I am shocked you stuck with me this long. I made you wait 73 chapters for a kiss between our main love story. That's some dedication. I love you though. All of you. Anyway, so yeah. Here's a chapter. I would love to hear feedback if you are reading. It would pretty much decide whether I want to continue this or not. So look forward to hearing from people (or not hearing from people and assuming no one is reading at all). Enjoy, lovelies :)**

As the carriage neared the imposing building in the heart of London that hosted some of the most elite women in British society every weekend for polite chatter and not-so-polite gossip, Felicity gathered her wits as she devised some semblance of a plan to secure Gemma's admittance as well as her's and Ann's. Her confidence in herself was diminished immensely after the great failure their trip to Miss Moore's had been. Felicity wanted—needed—to get this right. She could not wait another day or two to visit Pippa again. She wasn't even sure she could wait however long it would take to assure her motley crew could escape the prying eyes of her mother and whatever other suspicious eyes would be observing their moves just waiting for a slip up in their manners.

The carriage bounded to a stop in front in between two mighty pillars of marble. The chauffeur helped Ann and Gemma out before offering his hand to Felicity. She brushed past him without even an acknowledgment of his offered support and led her friends to the doors. After a little well-played coaxing from Felicity the attendant is forced to let all three young ladies enter. Much to Ann's dismay, and Felicity's disinterest, the cost of entering was one solo from a fake royal.

The attendant seated each girl at the table off to the corner of the great hall. As the girls got comfortable, Felicity took a moment to observe the socialites at tea. Many were peering back under their eyelashes, hoping to catch a glance at the Russian royal and the scandalous Worthington girl. Felicity relaxed into her seat and tried to relax. Whatever semblance of peace she may have found scattered as soon her mother entered the room. Felicity knew before pivoting in her seat who had arrived by the way Ann's face lit up with an inexplicable joy. Felicity didn't like the way Ann looked at her mother, as if her mother deserved such admiration.

Much to Felicity's consternation, Mrs. Worthington came prepared, adorned in her most extravagant casual dress and dishing out all the Persian charm she could muster up as she cut through the room like a knife through butter. "Bonjour, darling," she exclaimed, placing a rehearsed kiss on each of Felicity's fair cheeks.

"Mother," Felicity tusked. "Must you make such a display?"

"Very well, darling. Hello, Miss Bradshaw." Mrs. Worthington's smile faltered when her eyes met Gemma's. Felicity fidgeted in her seat as she prepared to do damage control before Gemma realized that she was not invited after all. "I don't believe we are acquainted," Mrs. Worthington finished with a tight-lipped smile.

"Mother, may I present Miss Gemma Doyle."

"How do you do, Lady Worthington?" Gemma asked.

Surprising Felicity her mother's smile thins out even more making it as clear as day that she's displeased with the situation at hand. Felicity tossed Gemma an apologetic glance as her mother chided her for inviting her friend along. Felicity opened her mouth to smooth the situation just as a maid appeared to pour Mrs. Worthington her tea as she took her seat. The moment gone now, the elder Worthington woman made polite introductions and steered the conversation to Gemma's history. Felicity sat patiently as her mother turned her charms on Gemma and surely made her friend feel as if she mattered. For as long as Felicity could remember her mother knew exactly when to smile, how to gaze, and where to laugh to make someone feel as if she is somehow of grave importance. It was a gift Felicity had also mastered though she was much more selective with who she charmed. She didn't even realize she was spinning her spoon around her half-empty cup of tea as her mind wandered to Pippa. It wasn't until Mrs. Worthington placed her delicate hand atop Felicity's that she was pulled back to the present moment.

"Darling, must you?" Mrs. Worthington chided. Felicity sighed as a response and shifted in her seat hoping someone—anyone—would come save her. "Darling, I've some wonderful news," Mrs. Worthington added, causing her daughter to perk up a little. "I had wanted to surprise you, but I don't think I can wait a moment longer."

"What is it?" Felicity asked.

"Papa has taken a ward. Little Polly was his cousin's-"

Felicity felt the weight of the words pull her under like an anchor in the salty sea. The words were mere echoes in her head as she tried to process what her mother way implying. "What do you mean?" Felicity finally articulated in what she hoped didn't sound too desperate. "She's to live with us? With you and Papa?"

"Yes. And Mrs. Smalls, the governess, of course." Felicity busied her hands to keep them from shaking by adding more sugar to her tea. "Your father is happy to have a little princess in the house again. Felicity, dear, not too much sugar in your tea," Mrs. Worthington added as an afterthought. "It isn't good for the teeth." In return Felicity dropped two more lumps of sugar into her tea and tipped the cup back in defiance. The tea had cooled enough for her to finish it in three unladylike chugs. When Felicity placed the cup back on the table she peered deep into her mother's blue eyes hoping to see a flicker of something there. Instead she found the same fake polite joy reflected back at her.

Cleansing the tension from the air, a portly woman in pearls interrupted the conversation to ask about Ann. Lady Worthington, seeing it as an opportunity to network, excused herself, leaving Felicity and her friends to do as they please. When Gemma noticed how pale Felicity had become an argument almost started, but it was one Felicity had no desire to get in to with Gemma and Ann. She would not tell them why she didn't want Polly in her home. That was too personal even for her two closet friends on earth. Instead she decided it was time to escape into an empty bedchamber upstairs in order to escape to the realms. At the top, Felicity chanced a glance below just in time to see Lady Denby commanding the attention of the whole room. Felicity froze for a brief moment, realizing exactly how dire the situation could become if her mother wasn't careful. With her eyes still on who at one point was to be her mother-in-law, Felicity explained the situation to her companions.

When Gemma announced that she had met Simon at the train station Felicity fought an internal battle about how much she should let Gemma know about her history with him. She knew it was much more serious than Gemma seemed to realize if Simon had invited her to meet his family. Felicity was so torn about whether she should encourage a courtship between Gemma and her mate or persuade her to run away from this same past beau. Deciding to think on it some Felicity lied, telling her friends she and Simon were like siblings and nothing more. Gemma didn't seem too ready to end the conversation, but Felicity was saved when Lady Denby's eyes lifted toward her. It was time to go. Gemma thought so too.

Gemma shoved Felicity down the hall into an empty room. Felicity glanced around at the only recently emptied room and decided they needed to work fast or risk detection. All worries fluttered away as soon as the door of light appeared atop the they circled. One by one, each girl entered the bright sunset of their private paradise.

Felicity, as soon as she stepped onto the grass, broke away from the others in search of Pippa. Much to her surprise, she found her love giggling with Gemma only a second later. Felicity and Ann both noticed their friend at the same time and doubled back to envelope her in a warm embrace. Felicity took a long moment to observe the girl she kissed only a few days prior. She was lost in the realization that Pippa was even more beautiful now that she knew what her lips tasted of. Somehow Felicity's desires grew and she only wanted to pull her friend behind a tree and kiss her breathless. Instead she ended up following behind her love until she reached the only thing that could cause Felicity to look away from her friend. There, in front of her, was a ship that resembled a dragon's body. It had scales of black and red and a head full of snakes. Felicity actually felt her jaw slacken at the sight.

Even more shocking though is the bravery Felicity witnesses in Pippa. The girl she had known so well all that time was doing something so contrary to what Felicity would have predicted that she actually had to watch the scene unfold with awe. Here was Pippa, approaching a dragon-ship, and asking it questions as if this creature wasn't the most intimidating thing any of those girls had seen in their life. The admiration Felicity felt washed over her in tides.

When the Gorgon refused access to Pippa, Felicity encouraged Gemma to ensure they travel to the Forest of Lights. Whatever fear she felt was overcome by the necessity of finding the temple. Or at least that is what Felicity pretended her reason for being fearless was. Really though, Felicity was much too impressed by Pippa and wanted to be the brave warrior she promised she's always be for the girl she loved.

Felicity took a split second to admire the cobwebbed nets lining the ship, but heeded the Gorgon's warning about them being a warning and instead took Pippa's hand in hers. The girls shared a lingering look into each others eyes. Felicity fought the pull of her lips as they tried to pull her into Pippa's. She very nearly lost the battle when Ann and Gemma came tumbling into them as the Gorgon lifted the wing. Felicity shook the lingering thoughts of kisses out of her head as they all regained balance and prepared to set sail. As soon as the Gorgon began it's descent Felicity busied herself by focusing all her attention of Pippa's hand in her own. She traced designs over the fair skin as Pippa leaned against the side of the ship and looked out. With Gemma at the head and Ann on the other side of Pippa, Felicity felt at ease scribbling little love proclamations on Pippa's love line across her palm. It was the only way Felicity could resist the urge to kiss Pippa like she had before.

Felicity lost herself in her head for a while as Pippa and Ann admired the dense landscape in front of them. Suddenly Pippa's hand slipped away from Felicity's grip causing her attention to refocus. "I have an idea," Pippa exclaimed with a grin so bright Felicity felt the warmth in her bones. "Fee, you should climb up here and hold onto this rope. Let the sail pull you in the wind."

Felicity looked up at the sail and felt the instant of fear as she realized Pippa was asking her to hang off the ship. "I don't think it's safe," Ann responded.

"We'll hold her ankles. I just think it would be fun is all," Pippa added with a sigh when she noticed neither Ann nor Felicity seemed to keen on the idea. Hearing the dejection in Pippa's voice was all it took. Felicity smiled at her love and promised, "Anything for you, Pip. You better hold on tight though if you value my friendship at all."

"I'll never let you go," Pippa stated with enough seriousness to stop both Ann and Felicity in their tracks. Felicity froze, one leg over the railing, to look into Pippa's violet eyes. She gulped down what felt a whole lot like yet another kiss as her stomach knotted up at the promise. Pippa wouldn't leave her again. She had nothing to worry about anymore. It was enough to make Felicity happy for the rest of her life. The two lovers stared into each others eyes until Ann cleared her throat. "I won't let go either," Ann mumbled as a blush overcame her chubby cheeks.

Felicity masked her embarrassment under a giggle before taking hold of Pippa's shoulder. She used Pippa to balance as she stood atop the railing and reached up for the ropes. Just in time, Felicity grabbed a hold of the course knots. Four hands immediately circled around her calves and ankles to hold her in place. Felicity looked out at the river ahead and felt the wind beat against her body. It was warm and pleasant. The spray of water tickled her cheeks. The perpetual sunset colored the sky in oranges, blues, and pinks too beautiful to look at anything else. Felicity began to laugh. She laughed until it was Pippa's turn to climb up.

Ann decided not to try so Pippa called Gemma over. "Isn't the river beautiful?" Pippa exclaimed when the four girls were back together. "Oh, I've missed you all so very much. Did you miss me terribly?"

Felicity closed the gap between she and Pippa and pulled her in close, embracing her tightly so as to never lose her again. "I thought I should never see you again," Felicity admitted for the group to hear. In Pippa's ear she whispered, "I couldn't bear going a moment without you around. I thought I should die waiting to hold you again."

"You saw us not two days ago," Gemma reminded Pippa.

As the conversation turned to Christmas and balls, Felicity returned to only half-listening as she held tight to Pippa's hand. She couldn't help but feel like the moment was too good to be true. How could such things exist? How was Pippa here? Felicity didn't actually want to know the answers though. Pip was back. That's all that mattered. So she made promises she didn't know if she could keep. She promised Pippa they would come back for her when they recreate the Order. She didn't know if it would be possible, but Felicity resigned herself to the fate of finding a way.

Around a sharp bend the river opened up to reveal cliffs with Goddesses carved into the stones. Felicity found her eyes glued the sight of stone women in various seductive poses with erect nipples and cocked hips. That little flutter in her lower stomach started up again causing a heat to pool between her legs. "What are those?" she asked in what she hoped sounded like a normal tone.

As Felicity listened to the history of these Caves of Sighs, the Untouchables, and the romance between the Rakshana and the Order, her mind wandered to the place where she pictured herself inside with Pippa. She pictured herself kissing Pippa's red lips until they were puffy and bruised. Felicity imagined untying Pippa's corset and removing every article of clothing from her friend's soft body. Her mind went blank there, unable to even imagine what she would do next. She supposed for a second she would kiss more of Pippa, but that's all she could imagine. Especially since she could sense Ann was looking at her. "Look at that!" she exclaimed to break the spell her thoughts put her in.

There, in front of them, was a golden waterfall. It was deafeningly loud. The girls huddled together on the floor of the ship as they passed through into what resembled an ocean with one small island in the distance. Flaked in gold, Felicity began to laugh. Not even the minor disagreement between Gemma and Pippa about the magic could dampen her spirits. This was Felicity's favorite day ever simply because of Pippa.


End file.
